Chapter 9

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Soon after the meeting ended, you found yourself in Erwin's office together with Levi. The three of you didn't say a word, as though testing the waters. While you sat there, Levi stood on the side, back against the wall. Erwin stood in front of the window, a glass in hand.



For some reason this exactly feels like that moment when Erwin called you here and you saw Levi as well. It was a month ago, and you've been wondering what your brother and husband could have been talking about when you left, now you know what.



"So that's it?" you were the first one to break the ice. "I just lost my Squad."



"It's necessary," Erwin said, voice devoid of any emotion as it had always been.



"What's next? You're going to transfer me to the Interior?"



"Yes, I plan to do that." Erwin turned around, looking at you to see your bewildered expression, eyebrows furrowed as you stared at him incredulously.



"Are you serious?"



"I am," Erwin said. "Once the expedition is over, I'll arrange everything for your transfer."



You scoffed loudly before looking at Levi who also has his brows furrowed. "Hey Erwin, you didn't tell me anything about that," he said.



"This is necessary. And as you are now, Y/n," he trailed off, as if he hesitated on what to say for the first time but Erwin said it nonetheless, although you wish you didn't hear it. "You'd just be a liability to the Scout. And we are in no need of liabilities."



It was, probably as far as you remember, the first time Erwin ever called you a liability. Even when you weren't the best in your batch, even when you weren't the strongest Squad Leader, he had always shown how well pleased he is with you.



"A liability," you muttered before standing up and storming out of the office.



Levi didn't say anything, he just gave Erwin a look before he went out as well to follow you. He didn't know you'd be gone that fast that Levi lost sight of where you went. But after a while he found you near the forest, just behind the stables.




You were sitting there, back against the tree, hugging your knees with your head lowered down. Judging by your lack of response when Levi got near, he knew you didn't know he's standing there. At least not until Levi crouched down and his hand went up to your head.



You tensed up a bit before you relaxed, knowing fully well how his touch feels like.



"You're upset?" Levi said and you nodded. "With me? With Erwin?"



You didn't say anything, head still lowered. Levi let out an inaudible sigh before he sat beside you and let the silence linger around for a few more seconds. The breeze felt cold, the night fast approaching. The sky is painted with orange hue and purple value, making it the perfect abstract on a clear blue canvas.



Levi thought you wouldn't choose to speak, until he heard your voice, a bit muffled as your head is still lowered down.



"I'm not upset with you or with my brother," you started. "I'm just...upset."



That you lost your Squad. Every expedition outside the walls, there were always casualties. Those who came back injured, losing a limb or an eye and those who were not able to return. You have been with your Squad for a while and they were the ones closest to you in the Scout. But with this expedition, you don't know if you're going to see them all again.



"I'm upset because I know my brother's right," you said, finally lifting your head to look at Levi. "I'm just a liability now."



Levi saw the unshed tear on your cheek, he knew you'd cry. Because when you cry, you usually hide yourself away from people.



"I wouldn't say Erwin's wrong when he said that." Levi's hands went up to cup your face, his thumb brushing the unshed tear. "But don't ever think that the cause of it is that kid."



Your eyes widen a bit, gaze traveling down. Were you unconsciously thinking about that? That you wouldn't be a liability if you weren't pregnant? Suddenly, you felt something warm flooding your eyes until tears started to flow again.



Your shoulders started to tremble and instinctively Levi pulled you closer to him. His hand at the back of your head, your face buried on his chest.



"I'm sorry," you muttered, letting out a cry as your hand grip his jacket. "I'm sorry for thinking that I became a liability because of you."



You felt Levi's hand rubbing your back, the very gesture that calms you down as your cries subsided and so do your tears. You stayed like that for a while, as the sun set behind the walls. The sky that was a mixture of orange hue and purple value slowly became obsidian black with glowing white dots flickering once in a while.



When Levi looked down he realized you had fallen asleep. Slowly and carefully he picked you up as he stood and walked back inside the HQ. He passed by some soldiers who stared at him but Levi didn't pay them any attention. Instead he continued his trek down the hallways and to his quarter.



But before he could open the door he stopped. "Dammit, I went here instinctively."



He was about to turn around and walk to your quarter when your arms tightened around him making him stop. You scooted closer to Levi and he looked at you.



"You'd rather sleep in my bed, huh?"



As if you can hear him, Levi thought to himself. But he decided to walk inside his quarter and set you on his bed before pulling the sheet. You moved to find a comfortable spot, letting Levi's familiar scent lull you deeper to slumber.



The very next day you woke up in Levi's room and when you looked around it's already morning. You tried to recall everything that occurred yesterday and you realized something.



Erwin said you'd be transferred to the Interior, to the Military Police. You've always hated that sector, you've had batchmates during your training who graduated at the Top ten and chose the life in the safest place inside the walls working for the Military Police, and you've always hated them.



"There's no way I'd be lumped with those kinds of people," you said, standing up.



You didn't find Levi so you headed to the first place you had in mind. Not the dining hall, but your brother's office. You found him sitting at his desk, head lowered down and eyes focused on the papers when you walked in.



"I don't want to be transferred to the Military Police," you said right away, making Erwin look up at you.



He didn't even seem fazed at all at you suddenly barging in his office first thing in the morning.



"And why is that?"



"I don't want to be buried with paper works while licking the bottom of the higher-ups in the Interior."



Erwin propped his elbows on the desk, clasped his hands together and looked at you. "And do you propose any alternative?"



"I'll re-join the Scout after I give birth."



"And the child?" Erwin asked. "Are you going to leave the child alone in the Interior?"



"Are you suggesting that I rather be a housewife then?" you asked back.



"No, that's why I suggested that you'd be transferred to the Military Police." Erwin pushed himself up and walked up to you before you felt his hand on your shoulder. "We need you there, Y/n. The further they are inside the walls, the deeper they can hide secrets. And the Military Police hide the most secret."



"Secrets?" you asked, looking straight into your brother's eyes. "What are you on about, brother?"



"Just a hunch," he said.



It's always like that with him, just a hunch. But that inkling of his, more often than not, was rarely ever wrong. No, they are always right.



"And Y/n, I've always been thinking about how our father–"



"So here you are," Levi suddenly said, opening the door as you almost flinched in surprise before you looked at Levi who's holding a tray of food.



"Ah, I'm hungry," you said when you saw the food and the smell of soup hit your nostrils, almost forgetting what Erwin was about to say earlier as you followed Levi outside.



As Erwin stares at the closed door, he wonders if he should have told you or not. But perhaps Levi's abrupt appearance is a kind of coincidence and that it's too early to tell you about your and his father's death. After all, it was a hunch, Erwin thought to himself.






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