Tears come from the heart and not from the brain

Letters to taehyung:

☘︎☘︎☘︎~~~

Dear Taehyung,

What is the date today again? Oh! November 25th. I'll remember this day forever. Why? Because for this first time in my life I felt a hard pang in my heart seeing such a breathtaking smile. A smile that can kill thousands of people. I think it already killed....hehe idk what I'm saying in a letter. Actually ik I'm never sending this letter to you unless it gets to your hand accidentally...so...idk...I'm just so lost in your smile that it's hard for me to write the exact thing about what I thought of writing to you. I think I have started to like you. When I heard that you like hot chocolates trust me I was so overjoyed hearing this...I wanted to know more about you, I want to know more about you.

Will you let me?

Invisible girl.

︎☘︎☘︎☘︎~~~

Dear Taehyung,

Hi, this is me again...Well IDK if you remember I'm writing this letter after a whole 6 months later...Guess why? Because I saw you at the supermarket with your parents today. You must be curious to know what was I doing there? Well, I was there with my father to do some monthly shopping. You were not paying much attention to me as your focus was on a big device IDK what's it called. I tried to approach you but it seemed like you were not interested so I just keep on staring at you.

I really wanted to talk to you and become friends with you. I really hope one day we could be friends and talk for hours.

Invisible girl.

︎

☘︎☘︎☘︎~~~

Dear Taehyung,

It's been 5 years now, I saw you again at the get-together of our parent's friends. Wow! You've grown so much tall and handsome. I can't believe you are 2 years older than me? You just look younger than me...you still have that silly cute smile and oh my goodness Taehyung your hands are so big. We talked for the first time Taehyung. Oh my goodness...I can't express it with words....your voice is... it's so beautiful and gorgeous oh my!! Idk what else to say I'm just drowning in your voice. I think you don't remember me. But I was the one who borrowed you that baby blue handkerchief...someone accidentally spilled cream on your leather jacket and I was standing nearby you. You smiled at me Taehyung...you talked to me. I swear my heart was beating so much I doubt you could hear me. I have already given me ever talking to you....but today talked for the first time in all those years.

I really hope to see you soon and hear your deep honey and beautiful voice.

Invisible girl.

☘︎☘︎☘︎~~~

Dear Taehyung,

Happy 20th birthday. I'm really happy for you...I hear you have graduated from your university a few months ago. Congratulations on your brilliant results and hard work. I hope you will keep going and fulfill your dream. I saw how happy you looked. You were busy with your friends. I did appear in front of you but it seems like you didn't recognize me. But it's okay. I did think you'll recognize me as you looked quite friendly to my father but you didn't have time to spear me a look...I wore a black long-length gown..it was simple and cheap...I did a lot of makeup compared to how I did usually. I tried to look pretty than usual but I was invisible to you. You looked so happy and I just couldn't walk towards you and ruin your day with my boring talks so I came back home without my father.

Happy birthday and congratulations on all your success. I'll pray for you like every time and hope to see you grow well.

Invisible girl.

︎☘︎☘︎☘︎~~~

Dear Taehyung,

This might be the last letter I'll be writing you. Because from now on I'll be so busy to even think about you and myself. My dad got into an accident and because like my mother he lost a lot of blood that instant. He got hit my track and he died at that moment. Idk what to do Taehyung? Idk where I'm supposed to go...I'm so lost...I've graduated from university a year ago and I don't have a job...idk anyone other than my father...taehyung what should I do? I'm just 22 and I don't have my parents and my other family members don't live here...why does god have to be so unfair to me? Why do I've to suffer all those? I wish I could call you rn and cry my heart out in front of you. But I heard you've just recently started to work in your father's company...Good luck with your new life.

Goodbye.

Invisible girl.

Taehyung POV:

I put down the last letter as I sigh heavily and suck a deep breath. Idk what to say or think, my mind is blank. She's been in love with me for 12 years and has been praying for my wellbeing and success, she's been hoping to talk to me for hours, she's been thinking of me all the time and here I never even spared a look...not even smiled at her.

What fuck was I even doing? Was I blind or what?

I clear my throat and gather all the 5 letters she wrote for me. I started to put them on the brown envelopes. After this, I grab all the letters and put them aside on my nightstand as I lay down on my bed with the diary.

The diary looks cute, it's covered with a baby blue hardcover and there are some cute bears and blue love emoji are printed on it. The diary isn't that thick but it's enough to feel the weight, quite heavy.

I open the diary and on the first page it's written, 'DO NOT TOUCH IT UNLESS YOU ARE KIM TAEHYUNG.'

I chuckled after reading this sentence. At least I got the permission to read otherwise it'll look like I'm stalking her.

I turned the other page and started to read the diary.

The diary:

My father died 33 months ago. He was hit by a truck...he didn't notice it as it was the red light so he thought all the cars stopped and he can cross the road but the drive himself was out of control, he was actually drunk and he also died as the track got hit by a big tree. That's what the police said to me.

I'm now sitting in front of the church as I don't have any other place where I could write all those. It's not like I can't write about all those in my house but I couldn't find the peace in there. Maybe the church is a holy place and I can pour all the things I've been thinking of writing.

After my father died I was devastated I couldn't figure out any way of my own, my aunt told me to stay with him in Busan but I didn't want to be separated from my parents so I stayed. I tried to look for jobs but they won't take me as even though I was new I wasn't qualified for them.

Like this 1 year passed and suddenly one day my father's childhood and a best friend approached me. He said he'd like to ask for my hand for his son for marriage. How can I ever forget who his son was!! It was Kim TaeHyung, the man I've been in love with for so long.

It was unexpected, I asked him if he's soon wanted this or not. Ofc I wasn't ready at first, my father died a year ago and I'm still not standing on my feet. He said he wasn't sure but he'll ask him but at first, he wanted my answer...how could I never say yes...it was my biggest mistake. After a few days he said his son was ready for this marriage, I was happy...ridiculously happy.

My in-laws weren't against me finding a job...they encouraged me to be independent. But I stopped looking for jobs when I heard taehyung loves girls who'd wait for him to come back home at night and cook him meals and take care of him. Because he'd love to take care of money but in return, he just wants peace, care, and love from his wife.

For his happiness, I stopped looking for jobs and started to prepare for my marriage.

My life has been a shitty life since the day I was born. I had difficulty growing up well while living with people around me who have toxic personalities.

My mother died while giving birth to me, she had a weak body and there was a tumor in her stomach while I was in her womb. The doctor said it'll be risky for the delivery but my mother said it's if she lost her life she just wanted me to see the light of this world, I was the precious gift she wanted my father to receive. But my mother didn't know that all her hopes will shatter into pieces if she closed her eyes forever.

After she died I became a pitiful child in everyone's eyes. My father couldn't take such shock and he started to avoid going outside of the house, he gave my responsibility to his older sister. Because he didn't go to his work properly he lost his job and he didn't even care. For him losing his wife was the biggest shock because he loved her the most. My father has already forgotten about me.

It was until my aunt got super annoyed and yelled at him. He finally looked at me and started to tear up for the first time after my mother's death. And starting from that day he started to look for another job...but because he got fired for not showing up on time and neglecting his job he couldn't get any job for 2 years. For 2 years my aunts took care of us. He was devastated...he blamed himself for all those things. Suddenly having no money to buy at least his baby's food made him so helpless. He was already in a lot of debt and so months later he finally got a job that didn't pay him enough but he still grabbed the opportunity.

At least he still got a job to buy his only baby's food. He started to take good care of his baby and still looked for a better job. But for 8 years he couldn't find a better job and as his debt was a lot he still couldn't provide his family much.

And all this time I was being bullied for whatever is happening in my life. Every day kids in my school would bully me saying it was a curse who ate my mother, elders would look at me with pity or most of the time in fear...idk what in the world I even did... their thinking just doesn't make any sense. Some kids will also throw trash, rock, or sometimes small creatures on me. I never burst out crying otherwise it'll make my father worry. I didn't want to worry him.

Just because I never cried elders thought I was possessed by something evil...I was the quietest kid among all the kids in my school and people never approached me, not even tried. I was a loner in school and college life. Not a single friend was interested in me. But my father doesn't know, at least I know that he doesn't know anything.

Our neighbors would treat me like a ghost or sometimes they'd never come near our house. My father wasn't aware of all those...but when I was 6 years old he saw me being bullied and how no one was helping me...how the elders talked about me and since then he started to become extra careful about me...he started to give me extra time sacrificing his own resting time as well.

He stopped caring about himself and gave all his focus to me. This was enough for me. Then when I was 14 years old...there was this one time an older lady suddenly raised her hand and slapped me...she pushed me so hard that I got a few cuts on my palm and knees too. I was just simply cleaning our yard when this lady approached me. She was our neighbor's mother...she kept saying that I was a curse and I should be beaten to death...she even came to complain to my father saying he should throw me away and when my father tried to protest for me they called the police saying I was a curse and ill soon kill everyone in our neighborhood.

My father told them everything and he charged them for heating and blaming me for no reason. I cried that night so much. Even the next few days in school also went so badly.

I don't understand why? Why people are so narrow-minded? Why would they even think of me as a curse or a bad omen? My father doesn't have a bit problem with Me...the guy lost his beloved wife and he's still not blaming me then why the hell will those people treat me like that? What did I do to them?

Taehyung POV:

I close the diary after reading it half as I put it beside me and interlock my hands together. I run my hands on my face and wipe my tears and stare at the ceiling up in front of me. My tears won't stop. It's hard... it's getting hard to breathe now.

How did she endure all those for so long? Why didn't she take action? She should have told her father...

All those were the questions I was thinking about all this time. She was naive thinking those kinds of people will change. I grip on my hands and grit my teeth together feeling annoyed.

I tried to recall all the things I read a few seconds ago and imagined how she was going through all that...even thinking about it makes me feel sick and she endured them all....just how? She was young not like us adults...even an adult can't take all those.

I take a deep breath and grab the diary again...my throat feels heavy and something is blocking me from swallowing. I close my eyes tightly and take another deep breath and open the diary to explore more of her thoughts. Her struggles.

There was more of her struggles that included me...deeply.

✿●●●●●●●●●●●●●✿

Hi!!! After another long break, I showed up. Well, things are taking too long because my mind is totally blank on how to write this particular chapter with more details. Now that I've got a few ideas I'll update 2 more chapters soon maybe in 2 days. I've kept you guys in a long enough wait to know the end.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I've updated a new chapter of "Through Love" you guys should go and give it a try.

Make sure to VOTEEEEEEEE and comment. Share with your friends and follow me on Wattpad and read a few of my more shitty works. I need your love and support for all those works too. Thanks. ❤

To Be Continued