𝔼𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖💛
𝔸𝕥𝕝📍

I hate it here.

2 days ago Dejuan came back for his phone and we got into a fight over him leaving some words were said and now he can leave I don't care no more. I do care my eyes are puffy from crying every night. I miss my baby.

"Sitting here feeling kinda crazy. And not just any crazy, it's the kind you feel when you love somebody. And I know that my baby, is calling somebody else baby. And I can't sit still, look how gone it got me.

Who knew that my heart could have a bruise? You see this scar here on my chest? I'm hurting and he don't even care. It's 4 am and my lover won't answer. He's probably somewhere with a dancer. Sipping champagne while I'm in his bed.

It's 4 am and I think I might lose it. This mf thinking I'm stupid. He must've bumped his head. Don't he know it's 4 am?" I sung laying on Sammy floor

"Standing here and I'm getting heated. Pouring me up a drink I swear I need it.
I think I'm about.. bout to hurt somebody. Swear this man is begging me to leave him. Getting sick of being so mistreated. Another night without, without his arms around me.

Who knew that my heart could have a bruise? You see this scar here on my chest? I'm hurting and he don't even care. It's 4 am and my lover won't answer. He's probably somewhere with a dancer. Sipping champagne while I'm in his bed

It's 4 am and I think I might lose it. This mf thinking I'm stupid. He must've bumped his head. Don't he know it's 4 am?" Sammy sung laying next to me.

"I don't deserve this life.." I started "I'd make the perfect wife.." Sammy added "And I know love's a sacrifice." I sung "But who gonna sacrifice for me and give me all their time?" We looked at each other.

"Yo brother a bitch." I said wiping my tears. "Yo bestfriend a hoe." She said sniffing. "I miss him. Call him and tell him I said I didn't mean what I said." I sniffed.

"And I don't want no more love, I feel its poison. Late at night I can't sleep cause I hear voices. Telling me I'm too deep, quit tryna force it, yea yea yea. Got too much stuck on my chest, can't get it off of me. I put my demons to rest but they been stalking me. Lord knows I tried my best, I gave it all of me, yea yea yea.

Late at night, I been roaming, I ain't getting no sleep. It's hard to stay focused when that pain running deep. Been alone my whole life, but you helped me forget. Then you made me remember my heart cold as December.

Learning to love myself, I been alone every weekend. They say he out of breath because he been running from demons. You left, I needed help, you were someone that I believed in. People change like the seasons, I'm asking what's the reason?

Then I been thugging dolo, lay in my bed and cut off my phone. I smoke that dope alone, me and others don't get along. You can't peep the pain in my face but I hide it deep in these songs. I learned to keep my mouth closed cause don't nobody know what's wrong.

Got me addicted to love, and then you left around the same time. Sorry I can't make time, been living on space time. I heard through the grapevine she told you we FaceTimed. That shit got a block, tell that bitch to kick rocks, yea yea

And I don't want no more love, I feel its poison. Late at night I can't sleep 'cause I hear voices. Telling me I'm too deep, quit tryna force it, yea yea yea. Got too much stuck on my chest, can't get it off of me. I put my demons to rest but they been stalking me. Lord knows I tried my best, I gave it all of me, yea yea yea

And I don't want no more love, I feel its poison. Late at night I can't sleep cause I hear voices. Telling me I'm too deep, quit tryna force it, yea yea yea. Got too much stuck on my chest, can't get it off of me. I put my demons to rest but they been stalking me. Lord knows I tried my best, I gave it all of me, yeah, yea yea." I sung my heart out

"You hear her?" I heard her say. "Samaiya." I whined "why you do that?" I asked "you said tell him you miss him and you didn't mean what you said." She said I felt so embarrassed.

They supposed to be leaving tomorrow and I haven't talked to my boo since our argument Sunday night. I hung up the phone. "Aww my pooh embarrassed." Sammy teased.

"I think imma be a drug dealer again." I said "have fun but hair better than that street shit." Sammy said "I'm taking them dudes to the airport tomorrow y'all coming?" Ma asked I nodded.

"I gotta see him before he leave." I said "where he at?" I asked Sammy we was laying on the floor in our work clothes. She got on her phone tapping away. "They at bands house." She said

"We gotta go over there." I said "we gotta get out our work clothes first." She said I agreed. I ran across the hall to my room. "I need more clothes here." I said

I got in the shower for a nice 40 minutes. My fingers was all wrinkly and stuff. I got out and put on my outfit and being the female I am I put on one of Dejuan outfits.

I let my curls hang, I sprayed some perfume on and went and sat on the couch waiting for Sammy. I played with my fingers until I heard her footsteps.

"Great minds think alike." She said looking at my outfit. She had on bands clothes.

I laughed cause we had the same hairstyle too.

I got in her passenger seat. Sammy hate driving for some reason.

She knocked. "I can't do this." I said walking off his porch. "Bring yo ass!" She whisper yelled. "I can't!" I replied the door opened and me and Sammy just stared at each other. I looked at bands.

"Hey bestie." I waved he nodded. "Why you got my clothes on?" He smiled at Sammy. "Bring yo goofy ass." He laughed at me.I breathed then I went up there. I saw Dejuan smoking on the couch.

I sat next to him he looked up mugging me. He got up. I grabbed his arm he looked at my hand I opened my mouth to talk but ain't nothing came out.

"What you want? And why you wearing my shit?" He asked I played with my nails. "Dejuan listen I sorry for everything that happened that night. It's just.." I paused to look and see if he was listening.

He looked right at me. Shit! That eye contact!!

"I'm sorry I called you a fuck boy and said you was for everybody. I didn't mean it and I'm sorry I said yo mom raised a bitch and I said 'fuck crips suwoo' I just said it out of anger and I didn't care what I said." I said feeling my eyes watering.

"And I said yo dick game weak knowing damn well you be putting in that work every time. When I'm with you I feel happier and I have nothing to worry about." I said with tears cascading down my face.

He wiped my face. "I'm sorry too mama. I sorry for saying if I was yo father I would've left too and calling you a stuck up lil bitch and pulling my gun out on you. You just made me hot with that opp shit." He said

I opened my arms he walked to me and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him and put my head in the crook of his neck. "I love you." I said "I love you too mama." He said then I pecked his lips a few times.

I got my nigga back🤗!!

He pulled away and looked at me biting his bottom lip. He sat on the couch making me straddle him. "Toxic!" Sammy and Bands yelled sitting on the other couch.

"I can change the date for me to go." He said "no go ahead." I said "you sure?" He asked I nodded "100% positive?" He furrowed his eyebrows. I nodded."im not going." He said "why?" I asked

"Cause you letting me go now and you planning something." He said "oh." We just looked at each other for a minute. "Let's go outside." I said "girl it's 11:00 at night we not going outside." He said I smacked my lips.

He kissed my cheek. "Yo ass always mad." He said I shrugged getting on my phone. He snatched it. "Clearly you wanna fight." I got up squaring up. He chuckled getting up.

"Girl I will fuck you up." He said pulling his pants up. "You ain't on shit." I ran up he started punching my legs. I fell "ahh." I said "you not so tough no more huh?" He looked at me. "Nah you just punched my leg too hard." I held it

He bent down and rubbed my leg. "You got my lil nigga in love." Bands said laughing "nah my sis in love." Sammy giggled. "Shut y'all asses up." We said I got up and sat on the couch.

He sat next to me and I laid my head in his lap. "What time you leaving?" I looked at him. "8:30 why?" He ran his fingers thru my hair. "We going to yo house." I said getting up. "Wait we-" he jumped up. "See y'all tomorrow." Sammy smirked at me. I smiled at her goofy ass.

Yup I'm giving him the big throat 5000.

"Baby I love you, you are my life. My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side. You're my relation in connection to the sun. With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome. You are my raindrops, I am the seed. With you and God who's the sunlight I bloom and grow so beautifully.

Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl. You make the confusion go all away from this cold and mixed up world." I sung to him

"I am in love with you. You set me free. I can't do this thing called life without you here with me, cause I'm dangerously in love with you. I'll never leave. Just, just keep loving me the way I love you loving me.

Cause I am in love with you. You set me free. I can't do this thing called life without you here with me, cause I'm dangerously in love with you. I'll never leave. Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me." He sung along making me smile.

He looked at me and smiled. I know we not official but I wanna get married. But no kids like Bernie Mac said 'fuck them kids.'

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

We got to his house and went in I took my shoes off and pulled him up the stairs.

I put my hair back in a bun. "You about to suck my- oh shit!" He smiled he got comfortable in the bed then I kissed his neck slowly. "Off." I said as I tugged on his shirt.

He took it off I kissed down to his boxers band. I pulled his peterwhacker out and I kissed the tip teasing him. "Come on babygirl why you teasing a nigga?" He frowned.

I chuckled before spitting on it and putting it in my mouth. "Fuck." He put his hand on my head pushing it down. "Just like that mama." He groaned

I looked in his eyes while slowly bobbing my head. He threw his head back. "Mama stop I'm about to nut." He moaned.

Men moans so sexy😩