ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛𝟠

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" ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑓 ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 "

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   I lean against the cold metal wall as I watch Katniss, "we fight, we-" I watch her get frustrated as Plutarch obviously gets annoyed with how many takes they are doing.

"Remember Katniss, you just got out of a war?" He says trying to sound as nice as possible.

I hear someone chuckle behind me and I startle a bit as Haymitch nudges my shoulder, "hey kid" I softly smile at him.

"Hey. Drunk head."

He chuckles and sighs sadly, "I wish, but these strict ass rules in thirteen kill me. Let's get the revolution done with so I can get back to my parlor" he rolls his eyes which causes me to giggle at his words. He then turns a bit serious, "how are you and uhm, Fin."

I get taken back with his words as he pulls me into a hug, "still don't remember a thing do you." He says and I hug him back shaking my head.

"No. It's frustrating really. But Gage and I are doing well" this causes Haymitch to slightly frown but he quickly changes it to a soft smile.

"Yes you and Gage, so that means you two are eh? Together?"

I shrug and look back at Katniss messing up once more. "I guess. I mean I love Gage. It's who I'm suppose to be with right."

Haymitch chuckles a bit, "I see Vic, that seemed more like a question than a statement. Maybe think about what you really want." He says and with that he walks over towards Katniss. "That my friends, is how a revolution dies!" He says as Katniss glares and I can't seem to hold back my laughter as Effie huffs towards me.

I glance at Haymitch and his amused eyes and Effies glare as I take that as a cue that I should leave the room.

~

"Now listen closely, this is a revolution, you are our sources of support. But also our soldiers to protect this rebellion. You must train hard and understand the risks you will be taking. We keep under any circumstances the mockingjay alive."

A few hours later we were all training to go out onto battle grounds. We had a week to prepare ourselves, new clothing, weapon usage which beetee was to make and hand on hand combat.

I was quite thrilled when we were told and couldn't wait. The team though consisted of Gage, Gale, Vince, Katniss, Finnick, and Me and of course a few other people who were to tag along.

Johanna was too sick still to be able to go and was healing, that poor thing.

I ignore glances my way as I focus on the woman and her speech.

Once finished we all paired up.

Gage came over but I smiled and gripping his hand and threw him over my shoulder. He landed on his back and groaned as he hadn't expected that. "I'll team up with Vince" I say as I glare friendly his way.

He glared back and chuckles, "alright pretty girl" I roll my eyes at his comment as everyone stops to watch us.

"I'm a woman now Vince." I stick my tongue out at him and he shrugs

"If you say so" he says trying to make me annoyed.

"Begin." The woman's voice rang out and Vince began to circle me.

I watch him every step of the way never letting my back toward him.

"Fine if you're too pussy to make the first move, I guess I'll have to" I roll my eyes impatiently as I reach out to him he blocks as he tries to hook me I dodge out of the way and knee him in his stomach.

Of course neither of us go fully out, it was quite fun.

I quickly turned around and tried to kick him in the knee before he grabbed my ankle and I knew he would take me down just before I jumped off my other leg and lifted myself on him wrapping my other leg around his neck and I twisted my body to get him unstable and fall.

Once he hit the ground I was a bit out of breath and I had his neck trapped, he chuckled as he tapped my leg tapping out and I smile down at him. I had him trapped, we both knew if I tried that I would have snapped his neck.

I unhooked myself from him just as the others clapped in my direction.

"Was that the best you had Vince?" I say with a bit of attitude which causes him to chuckle, "I knew I wouldn't compare to Miss Victoria Grace." He winked and I roll my eyes giggling, what a flirt.

"Hey that's my girl" I heard Gages voice ring out to Vince and I giggle at his comment just before meeting Finnicks gaze. I quickly turn away from his prying his, his sea green eyes that keep me trapped.

I'm with Gage, I don't know him. I won't ever.

~

I didn't bother going to supper, I frankly wasn't hungry and every time I went down there I saw the same sea green eyes upon me. It was simply the fact that it pained me that I've hurt him.

Since I've been here and Gage has been in my life he and I have gotten along, although we haven't really made it official. Every assumes.

I lean against the railing of my bed as I space out staring at the wall, my thoughts always wonder, my life frankly seems a bit messy. There is so much I miss.

The creaking of the door opening is what snaps me back and I look back to see Gage peeking his head in.

I roll my eyes and giggle as I grab a pillow and throw it at him, he quickly grasps it and raises his eyebrow, "you really think that's a good idea??" He holds it up before throwing it back

I widen my eyes a bit and he raises his hands in surrender. Once he closes the door behind him he walks over towards me, "what's on your mind vic?" He asks which causes me to sigh.

"I don't know. That's the problem." I stare back at the wall as Gage reaches out to me I slightly flinch a bit as I look back over at Gage. He slightly frowns but softly looks at me.

"It's okay Vic, you'll be okay. I'm here. I'll always be here" he says softly. Normally I'd be content with these words, feel love. But it feels slightly cold. I wouldn't dare say anything. But appreciate it anyway.

He's still my best friend, lover now too.

I lean my head against his shoulder as he pulls me closer to him. I felt his lips against my forehead, I slowly turn my head to look up at his green eyes.

We stare in each other's eyes for a few moments. All I can think of is wanting to forget, forget my frustration, my pain, my grief, this has been what I wanted. Gage. It's what I remember at least. But why does it feel so different.

Just ignore it. The feeling will come back.

I think just before Gage closes the distance between our lips as our lips connect, the kisses were long, they didn't stop but grew heavier and urgent.

I just want to forget what's happened and have tonight, where my mind can be elsewhere.

He gripped my hip as he slowly laid me back against the bedding. His lips disconnected with mine only to graze my neck as he begins to kiss and nibble in areas. I grip his silky hair as I give him access to my body.

I could feel the heat rise in my body as I stare up at the ceiling, I'm at a loss in what to think, how to feel anymore about anyone. But what I do know is that tonight. I'm just letting whatever happens happen. I'm just too tired.

Gage slips his fingers inside of my shirt as I melt within his touches and pleasurable movements.

His own shirt slides off eventually revealing his muscular figure as we enjoy ourselves.

I didn't want to sleep, not only from Gages Movements but from simply not wanting to go back to those nightmares, those dreams that make me rethink everything.

~

I wake up randomly as I breath a bit quickly, looking over I notice silky sheets around me and a Naked man next to me sleeping, but not any man. Gage.

I relax a bit and check the time, four in the morning. I sigh softly and rub my eyes, I don't want to even bother going to sleep, I know I simply won't be able to.

With that I slide out of the covers carefully to not wake Gage, I grab my robe sliding it on and head out of my room, might as well walk around.

I walk for a few minutes just to find my way to the dinning hall but once I step in, I find a distant figure, his back was towards the door and bottle of what seem of Different type of wines and liquor is all over the table.

I catch a glimpse of dirty blonde hair as the door behind me shuts with a slight click.

"Come to retrieve me once more Haymitch? I told you, I'm not giving you any" his soothing voice rings out.

I freeze a bit as I then relax and giggle slightly.

This causes him to look back and widen his eyes at me, "Victoria?"

I walk over by him and take a seat next to him, "that's my name, don't wear it out." I say as I try to lighten the mood.

He glances at what I'm wearing but simply ignores it as he goes back to his bottle.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asks

"No. The nightmares." I simply say and he chuckles.

"This takes me back." I knew what he meant by that, memories of him and I, that I don't remember and I simply frown a bit and look down.

"I'm happy for you vic, I know you don't remember me, maybe never will. But If Gage makes you happy. Who am I to dwell on the past right." His voice cracks a bit on the last part as he clears his throat trying to hold back whatever pain he feels.

"What about you fin. What about your happiness."

"My happiness died, since the moment you forgot me, Vic you seriously can't remember anything? Nothing?" His eyes seem a bit glassy as he glances my way, "I can't even look at you vic without remembering. Without wanting you. Vic I love you. I know you don't love me, but this can't be the end, not like that-" he stands up as he takes another swig, "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to react on emotion. I'll stay out of your way from now on. But I'll be there if you ever need me." He says and with that he quickly walks out before I could say another word.

I was truly speechless. It's not that I don't want to remember, I want to. I need to know why I feel this way for someone I can't remember, why it pains everyone when they see me with Gage.

Why it even pains me, when I'm with Gage.

I thought it would always be Gage and I, but maybe some things don't last forever, after all.

My body seems to react as I quickly make my way to where Finnick rushes off to, once I find him I call out for him, "Finnick" I simply say and he stops in his tracks, he slowly turns to me as his eyes were red and puffy, tears streamed down is face, "leave me alone." He simply says as he walks into a room that I assume is his, I quickly rush after him, frankly not even sure why.

"Finnick stop running from me" I say as I open the door once more and he sighs

"What are you doing here vic??" He says as he turns to glare at me a bit with his saddening expression.

I stop in my tracks by the door and part my lips, silence fills the air for a few moments before I softly speak into the still air.
"I didn't want you to be alone."

With those words his expression softens and he rushes over to me as he embraces me. Tightly. I wrap my arms around his neck as I take in his scent.

He smelled like home, he felt, like 𝐻𝑜𝑚𝑒.

A/N

Okay so it was very uncomfortable for me to make Gage and Victoria doing that and I'm sure made you as well.

I was thinking that's how his character is coming across in that moment. To show how he really didn't care about her feelings or her in that moment. How on the other hand Finnick does and would never take advantage of her in that situation!

I'm sorry!

Don't hate me lol

With all the love,

~Emma xx

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