𝓓𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓴 𝓗𝓪𝓵𝓮

The last few weeks have been hell.

Transitioning into the alpha was not as easy as I expected. I have so much more power then I did before, it's taken some time to learn how to manage it but I think I've got it down now.

And helping Sophie transition into a Zeta with an alpha as been just as hard, if not harder. She's stronger than me in every way. And don't get me started on her emotions.

I knew she would have some trouble with the emotions being heightened with how much she did when she first become a werewolf. She's fine one second then the next she's ready to rip my head off.

I've been pretty good at controlling her though, I know she wants my help but she's also been giving off the vibes that she can handle herself when in reality I don't think she can. She has all this strength and power she doesn't know how to handle or control it.

So I've been teaching her. Trying to at least. She's not been the best student to work with. With her altitude and her strength, I don't know if I can teach her anymore.

She already knows how to fight, I've explained to her the basics of shifting. I don't know to help with that either because I don't fully shift like she does. I'm not sure what I can say or do to help with that part of her.

It also doesn't help that I feel like she kinda blames me for what happened to her friend Lydia. And even though I know she won't admit it out-loud i know she's sorta holding a grudge against me.

I can tell when someone is holding a grudge. And she is. I've tried to talk to her about it but she just says "no, we're talking about that right now." Or "Lydia is none of your business." Then punches me.

Which it probably doesn't help I try to start the conversation while fight training her. I can't blame her for holding that grudge but It is kinda my fault Lydia almost died.

If I wouldn't have let Kate and the hunters take me and torture me I would have been there to stop Peter. He wouldn't have went after Sophie or Lydia. I am the reason Peter was on the lacrosse field. He was looking for me.

Which I don't know what Peter's reasoning was, He had Sophie and Sophie knew where I was so why couldn't have Sophie just shown Peter where I was? Why did he have to complicate everything but attacked Lydia and then kidnapping Stiles to help find me.

I haven't heard from Scott since that night, I also haven't reached out to him and I don't plan to. He was obviously not happy when I killed Peter. Stiles probably feels the same way.

And according to Sophie I am right. Every time she comes over she's ranting about how annoying Scott and Stiles are being, and how they say her hanging out with me is a bad idea because I'm the alpha now or something.

Scott should be happy I'm willing to help Sophie because does he really think Peter would have been a better Alpha and helped sophie through this transition?

No, he would have just had her kill people to get through this transition which is not the answer. Did Peter deserve to die? No, but it was the only way to stop him. There was no talking it out with him.

Peter is the bad guy in this situation, not me. Everyone should be glad I got rid of him. They all know deep down it was the best thing for this town and the people in it. With me as the alpha, no one will die.

I promised Sophie no one will die. I will not break that promise. She's my friend, sorta and I owe her at least that for screwing her life up the way I have.

Let's face it, I don't know why she's still hanging out with me. I'm the reason her life is the way it is. She lost her brother and his best friend because of me, her and Lydia will probably never be the same again. And her Allison will definitely never ever be the same again.

I am the reason for all of that. If I never would have pushed my way into her life then Peter wouldn't have known about her. Or he would have known about her and I wouldn't have been able to stop him.

Maybe I need to stop blaming myself and blame Peter more. Because I wasn't the one who attacked her best friend, but I could have stopped it. I also wasn't the one who bit Sophie and Scott and turned them into what they are, but I would have known was Peter sooner I could have stopped it.

Peter isn't the only guilty one in this story. I could have done a lot more then just sit in this stupid burned house and plotted against an alpha who was right under my nose the whole time.

I like Sophie, more than anyone ever. And I am so surprised she's still around and I want to keep her around which is why I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure she can trust me.

I am going to protect her friends whether she wants me to or not, I am going to protect her from the hunters because even though I'm pretty they still don't know she's a werewolf, she'll definitely be on there radar now that I'm the alpha and she's still hanging out with me.

I've never felt like this before, well i have once but this feels more intense then that time. Sophie makes me feel like she's the only girl in the world that I could give a chance to again. And before I met her I didn't even know that possible for me.

Sophie is different though. But no way will I sacrifice our friendship for feelings I don't even know are worth sacrificing our friendship for. She probably doesn't even see me the same way, she's stated multiple times that we're only friends.

Plus. You can't love someone when you don't even love yourself. I'm basically in the dark with myself right now, i love being the alpha but it's hard and I don't want to put my problems on Sophie.

She doesn't deserve that. You can't love someone while you're fighting your own demons and darkness.

You can't love in the dark.

Hello friends!!! I hope you enjoyed this book and the epilogues!! The epilogues are that will be continued in the first chapter of the next book if that makes senses!! Also sorry Derek's chapter is so short, I didn't really know how to incorporate his POV with Sophie's but I still wanted to give an update from his POV!! Anyways I've really enjoyed writing this book even though some times were stressful!! I will be taking a break for a little to get caught up on writing the next book and so I can get a few Beverly Hill Sweetheart chapters out!!
I love you guys and I appreciate all the love I've received on this book! I never expected it, I just started writing this book for fun and as an escape and because I love Teen Wolf!!

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