ｓｏｌａ̀ｎａ

i was currently sitting at the island counter top, staring at the oat meal in front of me as Michael and my brother were upstairs discussing things.

It's been about a week since everything happened and Christmas was slowly approaching and I was fucking depressed.

my mind was literally out of it. i didn't wanna sleep, because every time i closed my eyes I imagined him and it hurt so much and if we're being honest I don't know to move forward.

I'm stuck and it's killing me.

out of nowhere I heard yelling come from my brothers room and next thing you know Michael was storming out, spitting out a BUNCH of curse words.

"YOURE NOT ACTING LIKE HER FUCKING BROTHER BRO AND AS YO HOMEBOY IMMA CALL YOU OUT ON IT, every single problem she has had comes from you and your bs and your lifestyle, so yes, she's going to be depressed, yes she gone be wanting to start giving up after seeing what she saw, i been in this shit my whole life and Ian never had to witness or experience that shit. you need fix this shit before it's too late." He yelled at my brother.

I stood there feeling guilty...as if this was my fault.
I knew this was coming, Michael would never hold his tongue when it came to me, not even for von.

von looked at him and stayed quiet because maybe he thought he was right or maybe he was just being unbothered as usual.

Michael slammed the door, bumping into me.

He looked down at me and his eyes softened, he could see the hurt and guilt on my face and pulled me in for a hug.

"When you can't speak up, i will." He said kissing me softly on my forehead.

"T-Thank you." I whispered holding onto him and we held onto each other for a while before he exceeded his limit of leaving.

"Where you going?" I asked as he headed down the steps.

"Just out on the porch for fresh air."

"Can I come?" I asked softly and he nodded his head yes.

We both stepped outside, it was a bit cold outside so Michael lended me his moncler coat, it was comfortable and warm.

We both stood there, looking up at the sky before he finally broke the silence.

"How you holding up pretty?" He asked turning his head to me, knowing I was far from pretty right now.

"I'm fine." I responded quickly and turned my head.  he placed his hand underneath chin, lifting my head up to look at him.

"Imma ask you again...

"How are you holding up?" He repeated.

I knew I was getting nothing past him so telling the truth was all I could do.

"I wanna give up, so bad michael." I said taking in my bottom lip to keep my tears from falling.

"Do you think therapy...

I looked at him in confusion, I  didn't take him as the "therapy" type of nigga.

"You know it's not good to keep things in and um...i don't want you going through anything more than you already are. I looked up on it and there's not many here but like they have virtual one on ones and-

I bursted into fits of laughter, "Awnnn, you really care about me?" I asked jokingly and he looked down at me licking his lips.

"I missed that." He relived as he stared at me.

"Huh?" I asked out of confusion.

"Your smile. I missed it. So much." He said and i blushed before looking down.

"Are you and von okay?" I asked.

"We will be, I just want him playing his part with you more sos, you deserve none of this." He said and I nodded my head giving him a small yea.

"Made any friends In college?" He asked and I shook my head then paused.

"Well there is this one girl, I forgot she hit me up the other day, i didn't...respond. Now I feel bad." I shamed myself.

"It's okay sos, just tell her you been having a hard time, but not too much, you don't need bitches in yo business." He said and i smiled.

"Two smiles in one day, am I making sos better???" He asked jokingly and I rolled my eyes, nudging him gently.

"Keep bragging and imma walk around this bitch with the meanest mug ever." I warned as he smiled.

"You already do." He said underneath his breath and i looked at him.

"What you just say?" I asked stepping in front of him. He smiled playfully, "Nothing, I said nothing sos."

I folded my hands across my chest and shrugged my shoulders, "hmm, that's what I thought." I told him and before I knew it he had me in the air, slung across his shoulder.

"Michael put me down!" I giggled trying to keep my composure and he ignored me taking me back into the house and putting me on the couch.

I tried to get back up but he started tickling me and I couldn't help but laugh like a child.

"Michael...please im sorry." I tried to say but it just came out all weird since I was laughing so much.

He smiled, tickling me more and I tried to turn but he kept pulling me back down.

"I can't hear you sos." He sighed and i rolled my eyes.

"IM SORRY." I yelled and he stopped.

I took a moment to catch my breath as he laid beside me.

"Michael at yo big prehistoric age you'd think you wouldn't tickle me any more." I huffed.

"Solàna at yo big prehistoric age you'd think you wouldn't be ticklish, like what are we? 5?" He asked and slapped him before he could say anything else.

I grabbed both his hands before he could hit me back, "I didn't mean to hit you that hard. I promise." I laughed and he snatched his arms back.

"You too fucking little to be talking-

"Who are you? Chrisean?" I asked interrupting him and he busted out laughing.

"Go text that girl back sos." He said in seriousness.

"I will when you and von fix things."

"Deal."

...

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦

I am deeply sorry for the wait. I've been dealing with school and stuff so you know I haven't been having tim for outside hobbies lately but it's a 4 day weekend so expect a lot more ❤️

𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴

𝘘𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴