Ｓｏｌａ̀ｎａ

I tossed and turn in my sleep, my mind just refused to think about sleep.

Dantè, Damon, Michael.

Michael hadn't answered ANY of my calls, after hearing that phone call, i just prayed he was safe. I knew he was probably laid up with the girl he supposedly was seeing.

It was snowing a bit outside, i found myself wanting to bake cookies so there I headed downstairs.

i did everything needed for the cookies and sat up on the counter, my feet dangling, my hair was up in a ponytail and I actually still looked pretty from earlier so I took a few videos posting them on my story.

"What you doing up sos?" I heard a familiar voice ask , i looked over the couch to see my brother.

I gave him a soft smile, "Just making cookies, can't sleep."

He got up and walked up to me, "You straight right?"

"Mhmm."

"Nobody touching you or nun rig-

"No von!" I yelled and he sighed.

I hated when he asks this. He knows what used to happen to me back home so he made it his priority to check in, every chance he got.

"Well then wassup, your eyes been low lately, what's happening?" He questioned concerned and I really didn't think my stress was that visible.

"I'm just tired, nursing, and stuff, you know." I let out as placed my hands under my thighs.

"I don't know so tell me, you know you can always drop out I'll take care of you-

"Are you crazy von? This is my dream." I exclaimed hopping off the counter.

"I thought painting-

"That's not a real career-

"sos look at me." He stated.

I kept my head turned, some shit just better left unbothered.

"Sos, look at me." He said, this time his voice louder and aggressive so I turned.

"Hmm?" I asked as tears brimmed in my eyes.

"If you wanna paint, you do that shit, give it your all, you have a dream and talent, shit you know you will love doing forever, that's a career. fuck the money. You know I got you." He said and i shook my head softly.

"I don't wanna depend upon anybody, you're the only person I allow it from, I am the care taker, i don't need to be taken care of." I said with my arms folded and he grabbed my hand.

"One day somebody gone wanna take care of you sos and it's gone be the best feeling ever, don't miss out on your life tryna worry about everybody else."

...

Von and me were alike when it came to the taking care of people traits so we often crashed when trying to do it for one another.

I wish somebody would look after me, sometimes. Other than my brother or Michael. i start to Wonder if genuine people exist anymore so I tend to cling onto the very few I have.

I'm so lost.

It was now mid day, i had my cookies and went to sleep right afterwards, it was a good sleep.

Now it's 4 in the evening and I'm just now up, i could hear noises downstairs, i rubbed my eyes weary.

I slipped into my crocs and headed downstairs only to be greeted my brothers infamous group of niggas.

I saw Michael, he looked good and happy, i averted my attention to somewhere else, my brother.

They were all discussing something and as soon as I step foot in the kitchen all eyes turned towards me.

"Sorry, Im just thir-

"Fuck did i tell you about looking at her like that?" I heard Mikes voice yell.

It was the boy from like a month ago, don't remember his name.

"I wasn't even looking-

For a moment he looked at von, who then gave him the okay to make his next move.

He punched the hell out of the nigga and then they started fighting and lord did my eyes HATE seeing violence.

"MICHAEL!" I yelled and before he could get another hit off he looked at me.

"Come here. Now. Von i can't believe you just let him-

"I'll be damned if a nigga sexualize my own sister in her fucking house, this yo shit and when we feel like niggas is doing shit I'll gladly fuck em up. Like u bugging if you think imma let somebody make you feel uncomfortable in our home." Von cut me off and I rolled my eyes.

"Michael. Here. Now. I don't like to repeat myself." I said sternly looking him dead in his eye, his hands covered in blood.

He knew and stood up walking up to me, i slapped him upside his head.

"I'm so sick of y'all trying to fucking protect me, now look at you, look at all this blood on you, i gotta clean your dumb ass up now." I said frustrated as I grabbed his hand and took him into my room.

I was in the bathroom cleaning off his hands, angrily. Mumbling all types of stuff underneath breath before he stopped me.

"I got jealous." He admitted and i rolled my eyes,

"Remember what you said....

"Yea i know but unlike you i will admit it, i know there will come a time where you bring someone around and i have to get used to it." He expressed and i sighed.

"Well then at least you'll know how it feels to know someone you spent so much time with has already made plans with someone else, except mine won't be as quick as yours." I shaded.

Yes, I can admit I was bitter. Hurt. Confused, because all of the leading and my hopes to be up just for him to back out, without hesitation.

He looked at me, "Sos I-

"Save it. Your hands are clean." I said walking out the bathroom and headed downstairs.

...

Everything was over, it was starting to get dark again, i was cleaning up after their messes currently, niggas are so messy.

"Hey sos." I heard my brothers voice say, I turned around and looked at him, still clearly upset about earlier.

"Hmm?" I asked and he sighed.

"I hate to ask you this but can you text Dantè for me, he somehow got out last night, i want you to do it just to...see if you can get him to see where he at." He said and i wanted to smack the shit out of him.

real bad.

but I kept my composure, "Yea." I said softly, he tried to say something but I js cut him off.

I'm tired.

"If that's all you can go now, i don't need to hear nothing else."

...