billies pov.

we pull up to the front of dunkin, and ava looks over to me with a small smile. "i love you so much billie." she whispers, pressing a kiss to my lips.

she seems so guilty. yeah, we say we love each other but this time shits different. like she's about to do something she regrets. but i have to act normal.

i give her a kiss back, then a smile. "i love you too baby." she smiles sadly, and walks inside.

i pull off and go into back of the parking lot next door, watching the door to see if they leave.

and within 5 minutes, they were walking out.

they head over to a small red nissan altima, and get in. quickly, they drive off.

i wait a second and let a car in front of me go behind them so ava doesn't recognize me. once the car goes, i go right behind it.

as i drive, every thought goes through my head. what the fuck is this girl doing? did i open up and protect this girl for nothing? i start thinking of my mom, and how i shut everyone out after she died. i had no intentions of letting anyone in but she had me all fucked up. i thought of manny, i haven't even been able to grieve at all. i talked to him every night, but ava doesn't know. she's sleeping when i do. i want to believe all of this worth something with ava, but she's being fucking secretive and acting out, like where the fuck would she be going? if she was to be cheating on me, i have no idea how i'd react.

about 10 minutes later, they suddenly turn into a big lots parking lot. i pull into the jersey mikes next door, and park where they couldn't see me, but i could see them.

ava was crying, a lot. she was shaking her head and yelling. did this bitch do something to her?

kennedy is rubbing her back, and i feel anger flow through my whole body. why the fuck is she trying to comfort her like this? she probably caused it. i still have no idea what the fuck their doing either.

ava continues to sob, and she opens the door and stands outside. she stands out there and holds onto the door, like she needs air. i begin to worry because of her anxiety, it's fucking bad.

kennedy gets out, and walks over to her. she hugs her, and ava just falls into her arm. the anger in body is flowing and getting worse and worse. why the fuck is this even happening? i knew something was off about this kennedy bitch. was she trying to get me out the picture? i wish she'd try. i'd kill her before she ever took ava from me. kennedy doesn't know me or how i work, but she'll learn pretty soon.

because i'm going over there.

***

ava's pov.

i watch billie pull off, and i look at kennedy. she gives me a small smile. "are you ready?"

i sigh, and nod. i was so on the fence suddenly, i didn't know what to do anymore. my heart and gut said no, but my head said yes. i had to listen it my head.

we walk outside and get into her car quickly, just in case billie wasn't inside the complex yet.   we quickly drive off, and head to the clinic.

during the drive, i keep debating on whether i wanted to do this. it didn't seem like a big deal until i'm here now doing it, and it's so scary. i know before i was saying i didn't want a baby, especially with keyvon. but it's a baby. an innocent baby. she or he wasn't keyvon, i wouldn't ever let them be like him. and billie? yeah i was scared. petrified actually. if she didn't leave me, then good. but if she did, i'd have to suck it up and get over it. i had another life to take care of.

all these thoughts flowing through my head and i just couldn't take it anymore. i couldn't do it anymore. i was keeping the baby.

"wait stop! go park." i yell, startling kennedy.

she looks at me. "okay okay." she says, pulling into a big lots, and parking.

she looks at me with sad eyes. "what's wrong?"

i immediately start bawling my eyes out. "i can't do it! i can't fucking kill an innocent baby. i don't want a baby with keyvon. but the baby isn't him. i can't do it kennedy. i already love this child. i'm scared about billie, but if i lose her.."i trail off. suddenly starting to shake.

i start hyperventilating. i was just so confident about this. i was ready to be prepared that billie wouldn't want to be involved, or be with me. but the thought of losing her now, it's making me panic. what if mario found me? the depressive state id be in, all of it. i suddenly knew that billie leaving me, would cause me to breakdown.

kennedy rubs my back as i cry. "s-she can't leave me." i cry out. i know i looked weak, but i love billie. i was so scared of her leaving me, i was so attached it was disgusting.

"breathe ava." she whispers. but i can't breathe. my thoughts are taking over and i'm losing my mind. but i need to relax, this isn't good for my baby.

i open the door, and i step outside gasping for air. i hold myself up on the door, and try to breathe. but i can't, it's all sobs.

kennedy quickly runs out and runs over to me, and hugs me. i instantly just give out into her arms. everything is hitting me at once. i killed keyvon, and now i'm having his baby. i wish my parents were here to help me. i missed my sister and marina. and billie can't even walk me through this. i was alone. all alone.

we sat there for a minute, and i suddenly hear a car screeching and brakes. i look over and my heart drops.

a black matte dodge challenger.

how the fuck?

oh no.

billie instantly gets out, and runs over to me. she pulls me out of her grip and holds me. her eyes are black.

"what the fuck did you do to her?" she screams at kennedy, her eyes widen.

i back up. "b-billie. how did you-" i whisper, and she interrupts me.

"why the fuck aren't you at work? why are you fucking lying to me?" she screams, causing me and kennedy to both flinch.

kennedy plays with her fingers, and i try to grab billies hand. "please just talk to-" i begin to say.

she immediately grabs her hand back. "are you fucking around with her? huh? i went though your phone this morning, and i fucking followed you." she spats at me. "and you, i knew there was something wrong with your dumb ass-" she yells, but i interrupt her.

"billie stop! no i'm not fucking cheating on you! i would never. i fucking LOVE YOU. just please let me explain." i say, i was so nervous. i had to tell her.

she glares at kennedy, and she's just staring at the floor. she immediately grabs my arm, pulling me towards her car.

she looks at kennedy, with her black eyes. "by the way, she quits." she spats, and gets into the drivers seat.

i sit down in the passenger seat, and i'm already shaking. she doesn't even look my way, and speeds off.

i sit in silence the entire way home, when we get to the complex she immediately gets out and goes for the door.

i run out, and i follow her. "billie!" i yell. i just needed to talk to her. she thought i was cheating, and i wasn't. but she didn't respond.

i yell more as i get closer. "BILLIE!" i yell louder.

she walks through the door of the complex, and i go to scream her name again, but once i get in she's already eyeing me.

"what the fuck were you doing ava?" she yells.

i look down, with tears in my eyes. "please just sit and talk to me.". i whisper.

she laughs mockingly. "no fucking tell me what you were doing. NOW." she screams, with her voice cracking. "it was clearly something you didn't wanna fucking tell me-" she yells, and then her phone rings with a facetime call on the table. i look over.

ha. jaylene.

what a good fucking time for this to come out huh?

i look back at her, the tears now flowing down my face. "jaylene huh? you're fucking talking to jay again?" i scream. i couldn't believe it.

she looks at me, and laughs mockingly. she opens her phone and shows me missed calls and texts from jay. "I FUCKING IGNORE HER BECAUSE OF YOU. i love YOU." she screams, her voice getting raspy. "and dont turn this on me! tell me what the fuck you were doing."  she yells, throwing her phone onto the ground. i flinch as i hear it smash.

i wanted to speak, but i couldn't. i had to take in this moment. i feared it was the last moment id have with her before she just left me.

i sob. " i love you billie. please don't leave me." i let out as i cry.

she looks at me, and her face is still cold. "did you cheat on me?" she whispers.

i shake my head and groan. "NO."

she looks at me confused, and then punches the wall. "THEN FUCKING SPIT IT OUT AVA." she yells.

she continues to scream for me to tell her, but the words just won't form. i had no idea how to say it. i was thinking of everything, maybe to lie? to buy more time with her? but i'm a terrible liar. i didnt know what to say or do. i just had to say with no thought involved.

she groans again and paces. "FUCK AVA come on what is it-" she yells more, but i interrupt her.

"kennedy was bringing me to get an abortion." i whispered. this was it.

she immediately stops pacing and turns to me. her face softened, but she turned paler then she was.

"w-what?" she said. her eyes were glossy.

"i'm pregnant billie."