⠠⠁⠄⠄⠁⡐☼☽⠄⠁⡐⠠⠁

Red and I lay side by side on her bed with our pinkies interlaced. Soft music played as we lie there.

"Red?" I roll over and lay my head on her stomach.

"What do you want to do with your life?" I shift to be facing her with my hand propping up my head.

Red opens her eyes as if she were a little taken back by my question.

She takes a minute to think and a big smile lights up in her face. "I've never been able to answer that question. But I use to...well I kinda still dream of it sometimes." She pauses in embarrassment. "I um I've always wanted to be an actress." She pulls on a loose thread on her comforter. Her cheeks flare-up into a bright red.

She scrunches up her eyebrows as if she's coming to an understanding with what she's feeling. Her smiley demeanor now more of a saddened look.

" I want to be someone people remember ." She says in a whisper. I watch intently hoping she'd tell me more.

"I- I mean it's stupid. It's not like my mother would ever allow it anyway." She sits up, pushing her frizzy hair into a ponytail.

Red sits crisscrossed and pulls on the yellow hair tie on her pale wrist.

"She kinda has my life planned out for me already. She wants me to marry a wealthy man and have beautiful children. A cushioned life. Her life will soon be mine." Her crystal blue eyes well up with tears.

I pull myself up and wrap my arms around her. Squeezing her tightly I lay my chin over her head trying to console her the best I can.

"No one gets to tell you what to do with your life."

I hold her for a while.

"Is that why you're with Finn?" I question in a gentle tone trying my best not to upset her.

She was silent for a while before mumbling, "I'm happy."

...

I sit in my usual chair behind the counter laying my head on the wall beside me. With only two weeks of summer left, there are a grand amount of people doing their last-minute summer reading.

The bell above rings and I look over quickly to see Scout. He walks towards me with a smile.

"I brought muffins." He shakes the paper bag in the air.

He took a seat beside me unpacking the muffins onto a brown napkin.

I lean my head on his shoulder as I eat my muffin.

Scout and I have become close these past couple of days. He walks me home and listens to me talk hours on end about random little things. It was getting hard to ignore the fact that he reminded me of Sadie.

He's amazing though. Very kind and open-minded. He's a year older, going into senior year.

"Hey, do you want to do something later tonight?" I question, taking the muffins out of the paper bag and using it as a plate.

The blue phone beside me rings before I could speak. Sighing I pick up the phone, " Spring's book store, how may I help you?"

"Lana." A familiar raspy voice is heard through the telephone's speaker.

A knot in my throat begins to form.

"What do you want?" I clear my throat. He's silent for a couple of seconds, then begins to speak again.

"Can we talk? Like in person?" Finn's voice cracks. His tone seemed genuine, yet I had no desire to speak to him.

"No, I don't think so," I say flatly.

Scout eats his muffin unaware of the situation.

"Lana, please. Just give me a chance to apologize and I'll leave you alone. I promise." He pleads and I begin to feel bad. But the words he had spit at me that night had been whirling through my mind ever since.

I look over at Scout for guidance. With my right hand, I cover the phone and lean over to him.

"He wants to talk," I frown. He looks over whipping the crumbs off his mouth.

"Finn?" I nod my head.

"He's a good guy Lana. Give him a chance." He takes ahold of my hand giving it a reassuring squeeze.

I agree to meet with Finn at a small cafe near the book store tomorrow at 7:30 after I've closed the store.

...

I remove the key from the lock pad and shove them into my backpack.

All-day I've been dreading going to speak to Finn. I'm angry. I understand that we both could have handled the situation a lot better but he didn't have the right to talk about my dad.

Even though I'm twenty minutes late I still take tiny steps. My heart pounds and my ears ring. I feel nervous as to what he has to say.

I enter the tiny cafe and am immediately engulfed in the scent of roasting coffee bean.

I see Finn stand up in the far corner. Walking towards him he pulls out a chair in front for me to sit.

"I thought I was getting stood up." He smiles sadly.

I shake my head not making eye contact with him, "I got held up."

We sit in awkward silence for a minute before he begins talking.

"I've tried apologizing for a couple of times before this. But ever time I just get embarrassed. I'm embarrassed about the way I acted, of the things I said, it was pathetic. I was insecure and you didn't deserve to be treated that way." It's strange to hear him speak like this. It all sounded recited as he'd picked his words very carefully.

I sit across from him looking down at the napkin I kept folding. The last thing I wanted to do was look at him. I kept quiet not knowing exactly what it was I wanted to say to him.

"You're angry at me," I mumble. I've always felt like he had something against me, but I never understood why.

I look up at him to see a confused look on his face.

"You called me an attention whore. You'd have to be angry and have a reason to say that to someone. What's your reason? Who told you about my Dad." I question trying my best not to sound accusing.

He looked down, " I- um- I overheard your mom and Mrs. Springs arguing once." Finn scratches the back of his neck.

"What did she say?" My mom never talks about my dad. It's a forbidden topic in our house.

"Lana I don't th-," I plead for him to continue.

"She- she said that your father was a drunk and was barely ever able to find his way through the door. The only time he spoke to you was when he was too drunk to fetch his own drinks. An- and that she was confined to a miserable life with a man and the constant reminder of the failure that was her marriage." I straightened my posture on the wooden chair and wipe away my tears.

I couldn't say I was surprised that my mother had such resentment towards me. The hatred for my father was evident, but the anger towards me was merely hidden away behind a closed door filed with hurtful remarks of my weight and manners. I always thought she meant well when advising me to eat less or shy away from my opinion, but I suppose that was never the case.

"That answers one of my questions." I clear my throat clearing the sadness in my voice. He wraps his arms around himself trying to decide what he's going to say next.

"My mom left me too," He pauses. He looks me in the eye and tilts his head. "She was a model before she had my brother and I. You look like her. The big blue eyes, blonde hair, pale skin. She was beautiful... She was always so sad." he looked down clenching his jaw, "Up until one day she went to the market and never came back. All she left behind were three letters. But I mean who can blame her, my father is a son of a bitch. Cheated on her every chance he got. He didn't even bother fixing his hair when he came home... but Sadie, she stayed with me when everyone around me left. My mom. My brother off to college. My Father on his business trips. She's my oasis. I felt like you were taking the only person I have left away from me." He grips the coffee mug in front of him tightly, turning his knuckles white.

I scuff feeling my heart grow heavier and heavier. "I guess I'm a constant reminder of all that is wrong in this world." Warm tears roll slowly down my cheeks as I shut my eyes.

I feel Finn's warm finger wipe my cheeks. I flinch slightly at his sudden affection. Even though all I wanted at this moment was to be held, I open my eyes and wipe my nose.

"I didn't mean it like that. I know this may sound weird or stalkerish but I have this photograph of you and your grandma. She gave it to me," he paused to reach for his wallet and hand over the small picture of me hugging my grandma in front of the bookstore. I smile at the picture while Finn continues, "I guess it just felt like I would always have a piece of Mrs. Springs and My- ... my mom." I quickly realized that I wasn't the one he was angry with.

I hand the picture back to him. My mind was racing. Everything he was saying to me felt so heavy. I don't know how to react.

Tears keep coming while I stare at the brown wooden table.

The rest of the night was Finn telling me stories of his mother throughout his childhood.

Finn walked alongside me, kicking a peddle with his dirty black shoe.

"So... you and Scout?" He looks over at me.

"I'm not sure yet," I whisper truthfully. I like Scout but I'm just not sure how, yet.

Finn nods and smiles. It was a bit strange having a conversation with him without hearing an insult directed at me. It was nice though.

"He's had a crush on you for a while. Why do you think he got all nervous at the movie theater." He nudges me with his elbow.

I smile in confusion not fully understanding what he was talking about. I give him a questioning stare.

"Freshman year he was a sophomore- wait that's my Dad's car. He points over to my driveway. There sat a baby blue convertible.

Finn and I walk up to my doorstep. I unlock the door to find my mom there and Mr. Wolfhard sat on the couch. He had one arm around her and in the other, he held a glass.

"Dad?" Finn stepped in front of me to get a clear view of his father making himself comfortable in my home.