fangirl
chapter thirty seven | no one's point of view.

"you really can't skate for shit," vinnie manages out through his laughter. eileen sends him a pointed look and rolls her eyes, though she had a grin on her face.

the skate park was busy today, and it made eileen anxious. she didn't feel like this was her scene, even though she had been to this skate park multiple times.

she feels a little bit more comfortable as she looks over at vinnie. as she meets his eye, he's already looking at her with a smile on his face. as she catches him staring, his eyes widen before he quickly looks down at his board, causing eileen to smirk.

it had only been just last night that eileen and vinnie had their second kiss. nothing much happened after that. they just cuddled and talked briefly before someone came rushing through the room once the timer hit seven minutes.

after that, the friend group all grew bored, and they left the small party.

they just want back and hung out at eileen's. jessie and aaron once again played video games. troy, dylan and tristan were just chatting it up in the kitchen. sam and halle were passed out, and eileen and vinnie just sat in her room and watched disney movies.

it felt nice. she felt happy, and that worried her. it's like everytime she was happy, something happened to ruin it. and of course, she was worried about that with vinnie. she always had her guard up, and vinnie could tell. but he didn't mind— he would do anything for her to be open with him once again.

it felt nice. them just hanging out, and it being just that. sure, they kissed— but there was no pressure. they were just going with the flow, and it felt nice.

"i'm tired," he states. she nods, walking over to sit on a bench. "yeah, i am too. aaron was so loud this morning," she whined. vinnie just nods, moving to stand in front of her.

eileen sighs looking up at him for a moment before she has the sudden urge to look at her lockscreen on her phone. so she pulls it out of her back pocket, and vinnie just stands in front of her. he's looking behind her, just watching people skate.

when he looks back down at eileen, he sees her looking at her phone with teary eyes and his eyebrows furrow. "what?" he questions.

eileen looks up and just sighs for a moment before laughing at herself.

"do you think i'll ever be able to love anyone as much as i love harry styles?" she asks. it takes vinnie a moment for it to register— and he just starts to grin at her.

because she was dead serious, and he knew it.

eileen had been obsessed with him since she was in fifth grade, it was always harry. she had been practically in love with him, and she was genuinely worried that she would never find someone she could respect as much as she did him.

so he just continues laughing and she just sniffles and laughs, before he moves to sit beside her.

"i'm so serious, and that scares me. like i'm not even fucking joking. i respect him so much," she starts to rant. she's just looking down at her lock screen with this twinkle in her eyes.

"i know you're not kidding," he assures her. she just closes her eyes and sighs for a moment.

"sorry, i dunno why i got so emotional. i really can't help it. i know that's annoying. i could literally go on for hours about him," she quietly states and vinnie frantically shakes his head, causing her to look up at him with a small smile on her face.

"it's not annoying. i don't think there's a single person in this world that could get annoyed with harry styles," he says.

she shakes her head and just groans. "no, people do! they're so mean to him, a-and he just takes it. he's like the sweetest person in this world, and i know that for a fact! i've never even met him, god i sound so delusional," she exclaims. vinnie just laughs, and continues looking at her with a soft smile.

"like, i wish i could be like that, you know? he's aware of all the shit people give him for being himself, but he doesn't let it change him. like i'm so serious when i say he genuinely inspires me to be a better person. and that scares me, because what if i don't feel that way about anyone else?"

she wasn't expecting a response, because what could he even say back? she knew she sounded weird, but that's what he did to her. he made her so emotional. he made her warm inside, and she knows it sounded crazy.

as stupid as it sounded, hearing her talk about him made him happy. happier than he'd ever admit. because she got this twinkle in her eyes, and a bright look on her face. and seeing her like that, made him smile.

"i just, i don't know. he makes me happy," she states and vinnie nods, looking at her with admiration in his eyes.

"you ever watched this is us?" she questions. he bites his lips and just shakes his head, because he had never. he honestly didn't even know what she was talking about. she looks at him for a single moment, before standing up, putting her phone back in her pocket. she grabs his board off the ground and looks at him with a wide smile and her other hand reached towards him.

he doesn't even question her, he just places his hand in hers as she leads him to her car.

in this moment, vinnie realized he would do anything for eileen. genuinely anything. as long as he got to see that smile on her face, or the twinkle in her eyes, he was a goner.

"i'm definitely a harry stan after tonight," vinnie finally states and eileen looks at him with a wide grin and just laughs. her eyes trail over his face for a single second before she looks back up at the ceiling and she's silent once again.

after she drove them home (she had blasted his music the whole way to her apartment), she just silently led him into her house.

it was about three when they had made it, and eileen had ordered sushi to her house for them. she just led him into her room, and they sat on her bed as they ate the food.

she had made him watch the one direction documentary, his behind the album documentary, and eventually it was dark out once they had finished.

vinnie didn't complain the whole time, because it was interesting. and seeing her happy like that, he couldn't complain.

so now they just laid on her rug, with her skylite eliminating the whole room. it was pitch black in her bedroom, except for the light blue lights on her ceiling. fine line was the only sound in her room, coming from the record player in the corner.

they just sat on the rug and looked up at the lights, listening to his music.

"i've not been this sad in a long time," she whispers. the music wasn't playing too loud, so vinnie just looked over at her. she was just staring up, not daring to turn her head to make eye contact with him. she was biting her lip and just looking up, because she knows the minute she turned her head— she would burst into tears.

"i'm just sad. like all the time."

he just silently moves in closer, snuggling his head into her shoulder. he knows he shouldn't say anything, she just needed to let out all of these feelings that have been building up.

so he just sat and listened.

eileen confided in him for probably only about ten minutes. it doesn't seem long, but when you're pouring out your heart and soul, it felt like a lifetime.

it ended in her just laying in his chest and crying.

she had been so sad, and for so long, and she never realized it.

until she sat and just let the song consume her. it brought out all of her emotions, and it wasn't like it was the first time she had heard it. she used to just think it was a pretty song.

but after laying in vinnie's arms and crying to it, she would never look at it the same. ever again.

she felt so content. talking about her thoughts to someone out loud was uncomfortable. and it felt ugly. but speaking it out into existence, and having someone genuinely listen to it with no complaints, made her comfortable.

i guess that's when eileen knew her feelings for vinnie had peaked. she knows they were always there, but this time it felt right.

and she was scared— like hell. she was so worried something was gonna come up, something would happen to lose her trust in him.

but she wasn't letting it stop her. she was just letting the feelings hit her all at once. she was letting him consume her, and she was finally open to the idea of them being together.

hello! i don't know what this is either. i know it's a messy and not really a solid chapter, but i just felt like i should put something out. i've been having really bad writers block with this book lately.

i've just been struggling in everything, if i'm honest. don't want to get all into that, so we will leave it at that lmfao

but anyways, we hit 50k on this book! that genuinely blows my mind. i want to thank u all for all of ur votes and ur comments- i love ur guys' comments. they brighten my day for real. i just love u guys so much it's insane. i feel so comfortable with you all on here, even if i've never had a real conversation with some of you. you guys just make me so happy & i want you to know that.