I was currently getting ready for Jean's grad party. Jean had ended up throwing a huge party to celebrate our graduating class, the night before graduation. Everyone in our graduating class was going to be there. It was hard to think that this could very well be the last couple of times I see them all.

I hadn't talked to anyone about my plans for after graduation, and for good reason. There was only one person who knew, and that was Jean. I talked to Jean about everything. Jean had known about my graduation plan since freshman year. My plan was still the same, which was travel the world. After graduating, I had planned to travel the world. I wanted to get out and see everything. There was only one downside to this dream, and that was everyone else. Pursuing my dream meant leaving everyone else. If I traveled the world, then I'd be leaving everything I've ever known.

Traveling the world was something I always wanted to do, though. I wanted to get out and explore. I wanted to see oceans, mountains, and forest. Traveling brought me happiness. It's what I wanted.

My plans started to become a little fogged when Eren entered my life. Once Eren and I began to get serious, I did nothing but doubt my plans. Of course I didn't want to leave Eren, leaving is the last thing I ever wanted. I was stuck between staying with him and perusing my dreams. I loved Eren, the last thing I wanted to do was leave him. I was stuck between achieving a dream I had longed for or staying with the guy I loved.

I tried to brush my thoughts off and got dressed. I wanted to look presentable, the last outfit they were more than likely going to see me in. The idea of leaving my friends, wasn't something I wanted either. I thought numerous time about just skipping this party and staying home. I realized though, that if I were to skip the party then the last time I'd see them would be tomorrow.

To think that tomorrow was graduation day was scary, I'd finally be independent. I'd finally have to become an adult.

I zipped up the back of my dress, taking one last look at myself in the mirror. Eren had texted me letting me know that he was here. It was going to be hard to look at him, knowing that he had no idea. Eren still had no idea about my plans. All I knew of Eren's plans were that he wanted to go to college, pursue in some major. I knew I was going to have to talk to him about it some way or another.

I quickly blinked away the tears that had started to gather in my eyes. I didn't want Eren to see me like this. I didn't want my makeup to be ruined. I didn't want anybody to question me.

I exited my house and made my way outside. I saw Eren leaning against his car, waiting for me. He looked damn good while doing it too. I walked over to him, kissing him before making my way into his car. Eren drove us to Jean's party, while keeping his hand on my thigh.

We arrived and got out of the car. Eren and I made our way inside. We looked around for our friends before noticing them in the kitchen. Eren and I made our way towards them. I greeted them all.

"Glad you two could make it." Said Jean.

"Yeah, we are too."

"Hey, why don't we all do a round to Eren and y/n?" Suggested Jean.

"Why?"

"Because I think it's be good to celebrate that the two of you finally learned how to mature and ignore your differences." Said Jean.

"I'd highly say that Eren is far from mature."

"Hey! How did I get into all this?" Said Eren.

I shrugged my shoulders in response.

"But yeah, a round of shots is okay with me."

"Alright. Connie bring the shots!" Yelled Jean.

"On it!" Yelled Connie.

Connie ended up getting us all a round of shots. I didn't necessarily like alcohol, but this was a one time thing. This was a departing. I maintained my emotions and lifted my glass as a cheers.

"To us all finally getting through that hell hole! To Eren and y/n too!" Yelled Jean.

We all raised our glasses, downing the alcohol. Everyone else either began telling stories about high school or began drinking more alcohol. I was standing near Jean, staring at Eren. I was contemplating how I was going to tell him about my plans. It hurt my heart to even think about it. Jean seemed to notice my worry and got my attention.

"What's up with you? You haven't been as energetic today." Said Jean.

"I'm hardly ever energetic."

"What I meant was, you just don't seem as happy today. Pretty sure it has something to do with Eren. Am I right?"

"Yeah. I don't know how to tell him about my plans for graduation. He still doesn't know Jean. How am I going to tell him? I'm leaving everyone and everything just to travel. Stupid huh?"

"I don't think it's a stupid idea. I know you like traveling. If traveling is something you want to continue doing, do it. Tell Eren, let him know. He's not going to take it easy, you know. Pursue your dreams y/n, don't let anyone stop you from doing so. Not me, Eren, or anyone else. Only you control what happens, remember that." That was the last thing Jean said before leaving me.

I glanced at Eren again. He seemed so happy, like everything in his life was going right. I enjoyed that smile on his face, I didn't want to be the reason that it no longer showed.

I'm sorry.

Truth was I hurt everyone too. Eren wasn't lying when he said that the both of us weren't better than the other. I still didn't know a way to tell him. I was still confused on what to do. Eren wasn't the only one who I owed an explanation to, though. Everyone deserved to know, all my friends. Like I said, Jean was the only one who knew. Everyone else here was supposed to be going to college together, while I traveled the world. Everyone had assumed that I was going to college as well, which wasn't the case.

How am I going to tell you all?

I planned to tell them tomorrow. I would tell Eren separately, though. I didn't want him to immediately know. I was going to wait till a later time tomorrow to tell Eren.

Mikasa ended up coming up to me, and we talked. My mood seemed to lighten up.

"How are things between you and Eren?"

"Good." There was a bit of hesitation in my voice due to the fact that I knew I was going to be leaving him soon.

"Hey, you don't sound so sure. Something happen?"

"No, it's nothing. We're doing great actually."

"Moving on, tell me something."

"Yeah?"

"How does he make you feel?"

"Mikasa, what kind of question is that."

"Just answer."

"He makes me feel loved. I feel like when I'm with him that my worries disappear. I feel happy."

"You're blushing."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Whatever. Anyway why'd you ask?"

"Just wanted to know so that I could end up telling Eren one day. Maybe for your anniversary or something."

My heart stung at the sound of those words. I was sure Eren, and I were probably going to break up. I knew long distance didn't work. I didn't like the idea of leaving him, in fact I despised it. I had to end things, and they were probably going to end tomorrow.

I continued to enjoy the party the best I could. I enjoyed being here with Eren. I enjoyed seeing him happy. I made my way over to him, just clinging on to him. I wanted to preserve his touch.

I was going to miss his warmth, his touch, him. I was going to miss Eren.

I allowed a tear to fall down my cheek. Eren seemed to notice the tear because he crouched down and cupped my face.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying? You're supposed to be enjoying yourself, love."

"I'm just happy. I'm happy we get to spend this moment together. I love you."

"Yeah, I love you too."

"I'm gonna miss you, you know."

"Hey, it's only 3 months. We'll see each other in that time."

I let another tear roll down my cheek. I lowered my head to afraid to look him in the face, knowing I was lying to him about our future.

"Yeah.."

Eren made me look up at him wiping my tears. He kissed me, assuring me it was okay.

I wanted this to last forever, but I knew it was going to end shortly. Eren and I were going to end shortly. His happiness was going to end shortly, my happiness as well. I kissed him like it was the last kiss we'd ever share.

When we pulled back, he just stared at me.

"Giving me a goodbye kiss? What was that? You don't usually kiss me like that."

"Don't know. Just wanted you to know how much I love you."

"Well I love you too. Sorry to ruin the moment, but it's getting late, and we have graduation tomorrow."

"Yeah, we should probably head home."

"Yeah, we should."

I waved everyone a goodbye, making my rounds of goodbyes. This was probably going to be the last goodbyes I ever gave them, and for good this time.

Eren and I left Jeans house. Eren drove me home. Before I got out of the car, Eren had grabbed my wrist.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Look I know tomorrow's a big day, but relax. It'll be our last day as high schoolers, we'll be in college next year. You and me in college, together, how does that sound?"

I wanted to cry so bad and just tell him there, but I didn't want to ruin his mood for tomorrow. Tomorrow was an exciting day for mostly everyone. My friend group didn't have to worry about tomorrow being depressing, because they were all going to continue life together. While they all advanced to college with each other, I'd be traveling. I'd be traveling alone while they stayed here.

"Yeah, sounds good. Bye."

"Hey. What about my kiss?"

"Fine, you big baby."

"Hey, remember I'm your big baby. Only yours."

"Yeah, mine."

I gave him a kiss, before he said his goodbye to me. I went inside and immediately went up stairs.

I'm selfish.

I was selfish for putting my plans of higher regard. Everyone else's feelings mattered, yet I was treating them like they were nothing. I was truly a piece of shit.

After scolding myself about how selfish I was, I thought about Eren. I thought about how I was going to tell him. I decided to leave that idea for tomorrow, right now I needed to sleep.

That night I tossed and turned, only getting three hours of sleep. It was the most restless night I've ever had. I mentally tried preparing myself for tomorrow.

The day that it'd all come crashing down.
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A/N: okay I lied, I'm doing 2 more chapters and then the book will be completed. Also last chapter of the book will be smut. I hope you guys liked this chapter tho, I'm srry for making y/n cry a lot tho. I just write what I feel would happen in a situation. Anyway, thank you guys!