028
chris's pov

      SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW YOU'RE doing ... and other times i can't bring myself to care. it's been a week since i last saw you. and quite honestly i stink. my door creaks open.

i remember some nights when you would come in and crawl into bed with me. we'd never fall asleep until the sun came up.

"chris?"

nick.

i don't know why i would get my hopes up thinking it was you. i don't answer him. i know if i do i would be saying some really shitty things that i don't mean.

"can you please come out and hangout with us?"

"no."

"you can't cry over her for forever." he says

i sit up and point my finger at him, "you don't get to tell me what i can and can't do. you're just fucking mad because i broke up with her."

he just looks at me. "chris.. she'll never love anyone as much as she loves you."

"please just leave me alone. i can't do this right now." i say laying back down and covering myself up.

once i hear him leave the room i open my phone and pull up her tiktok. it's the closes i can get to her. i look at all the videos of her and sawyer. she looks so happy to be with someone.

someone who actually cares about her. why do i do this to myself? i go to her private account. she doesn't know i'm on this. she has this as an only girl account.

i click on the first video and it's of her crying. then a whole bunch of pictures of us start flashing across the screen.

i take it all back. she looks so much happier with me. she doesn't have her shine when she's with sawyer.

i'm the reason she lost her shine. a tear falls out of my eye and down my face.

i'm going through hell without her.