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I got back home and jogged upstairs into my room. I walked over to my wardrobe to find some actual comfy clothes to wear since school clothes are obviously not the best choice. My closet is most black grey and white but has some sort of colour in it. I grabbed a pair of denim jeans and a grey crew neck that says Colorado.

I got the crew neck a while ago after going on a family trip with aunt Cathy and uncle Ethan. It was very rare I saw those two. My dad only had one sister (aunt Cathy) and one adoptive brother but they don't really speak that much.

I walked downstairs to go to the kitchen and saw dad looking really stressed. I walked over to him to create small talk because I wanted to know what was going on. "Hey dad are you good?" I asked confused.

"Uh your mom is blowing up my phone." He said shocked. Why the fuck was she blowing up his phone. Ever since she's been wanted to see us she's become 'sweet little Janet' again. I hate her.

"Why don't you just block her?" I implied quickly.

"I cant. Every time I try she gets a new SIM card." Needy much. Why does she care so much? I never really knew the reason why she left all I ever knew was the fact that she was madly addicted to drugs. I wanted to know the proper reason.

"Dad can I ask a question?Β  I want you to answer it genuinely. I want to know the proper reason mom left." I demanded.

" your mother was an angel when I first met her. She was the sweetest soul anyone has ever spoken to really. When we grew older and had Cole your mother got madly addicted with drugs to the point where she would hook up with different men. She would get pregnant over and over again and would give the baby to the father and leave them until eventually she went onto birth support. With me it wasn't like that. We were married until we had Syd and then we divorced because I realised it wasn't a good idea to have her influencing all of you."

My dad spoke as he sniffled between each sentence.

"Was there a proper reason she started drinking or did she just do it for fun?" I asked muttering.

"I think she got influenced by her friends? I'm really not to sure about that though." He gulped. "I think it was time for me to tell you anyways. I told your brother when he was 16 and he swore he wouldn't tell anyone that's why you didn't know. I'm sorry I hid it from you." Dad said.

"It's okay" I hugged him sympathetically.

I headed upstairs and flopped on my bed. All the thoughts of what my mom and dad could've been started forming in my head like a wave. I knew my mom had drinking problems but she had one night stands with guys while she was dating my dad? She was a monster. I stare helplessly at the blank wall knowing that Syd would have to find this all out sooner or later. The words 'your mother was an angel.' 'She had the sweetest soul.' Kept replaying in my head like a broken record.

What ifs swarmed my mind as I began to think about my father and how he felt at the time. My eyes watered as I imagined my mother actually caring about us. Did she ever give a shit about her kids? Did she care about the men she gave children too?

The world went into a a blur, my breath was shaky and my arms felt weak. As if on command I let out a sob, a sob that was the effect of all the Pain, suffering I had endured from my ex- boyfriend to my mother. I screamed into my pillow until my lungs were sore and I cried until my eyes felt numb when will these horrid thoughts end?

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