billie's pov

alysia has been distant lately. she's been like this for the past few days. she hasn't been coming to soundcheck like she usually does and it seems like the only time i see her is while she's taking pictures while i'm performing or when we're in the bed about to sleep.

"billie! earth to billie!" finneas said, waving a hand in front of my face, and snapping me out of my thoughts.

"huh? sorry, i was just thinking."

"about what?" he asked.

"it's nothing." i assured, shaking the question off.

"you sure? you know i'm here if you need to talk, right?" he questioned, giving me a concerned look.

"yeah, i'm sure, thanks though," i smiled. "so what did you need again?"

"you're supposed to be sound checking."

"oh. right. well let's get to it then." i mumbled.

he nodded and walked over to his keyboard. he started playing the beginning notes of idontwannabeyouanymore and i began singing.

"don't be that way, fall apart twice a day. i just wish you could feel what you say."

-

the show for tonight was over and it's now time to get on the tour bus and start driving to the next city. i sighed as i walked up the steps and headed to my bunk. i crawled into it after taking my shoes off and got under the covers, exhausted from the long day that i've had.

a few minutes later, the curtains opened and i turned to see alysia there. i scooted over time allow room for her to crawl in as well. although it was cramped, we made it work, because neither of us can sleep alone anymore.

after she had settled in, i studied her face. "are you okay, angel? you've been kinda distant lately."

"yeah, i'm fine," she assured, but quickly after shook her head, tears starting to fall down her face. "i-i'm sorry. i d-didn't mean to b-be distant."

i quickly pulled her into a hug, running a hand through her hair to try and calm her down. "hey, it's okay, baby. why are you crying?"

"because i-i made you u-upset by not talking to y-you." she stuttered.

"i never said that, mama," i kissed her forehead and waited until she had calmed down and quit crying. "what's wrong, angel? what's on your mind?"

"i just really miss the twins," she mumbled. "i've never gone this long without seeing them and they're the only family i have that i'm close to and accept me."

"i'm sorry. i promise we'll go see them as soon as we can, alright?"

i couldn't help but feel like this was my fault. whenever i had asked her if she wanted to be my photographer while i toured, we had already had a photographer. but i argued with my team to let alysia be my photographer instead. if i had never done that, she'd be at home with the twins and not here, crying because she misses them so bad.

i'm so selfish.

"pinky promise?" she asked softly.

"pinky promise." i giggled slightly, reaching my pinky up to link with her her's. after we shook them, i flipped my hand to where i was holding her's. i brought her hand up to my lips, planting a soft kiss on it. "i love you."

"i love you too."

i watched as she snuggled into my chest and i couldn't help but think about how adorable she looked while she did. "can we sleep now? i'm tired."

"yes, baby, we can sleep now," i laughed softly. i wrapped my arms around her. "goodnight, princess."

"goodnight, baby."

-

a/n cute girls with braces make my heart melt

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍🌈

this is my first one 🥺

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