Two weeks later

It's my turn to go up.

I lay my flowers down at her grave and tears well up in my eyes as I say my goodbye.

I feel a pair of hands on my shoulder and I look back to see all four of my brothers standing behind me looking down at her grave too.

Our whole family is here. People I haven't met, people I have, it's amazing how big our family really is.

Just not great circumstances on why we had to meet like this.

I look to the side and sigh. I see his grave with nothing. Nobody here to visit him, no family, no friends.

I walk over to his grave and put down a rose. I kneel down in front of it and smile softly.

Thinking about all the good moments we had... trying to think of the good things instead of the bad. I think a part of me will always love him but the hate is just as equal.

"I wish it didn't have to turn out this way." I whisper to him. Looking one last time at his stone before I get up patting myself down.

I walk back over to granny's and kneel down in front of hers as I read off the stone and its carved words.

It was a beautiful service. Everything I had hoped for it to be. Though you don't ever expect how hard it's going to hit you when it starts.

All those nice things people had to say about her, all those memories she shared with each one of them, the stories, it's all so hard.

"Hey granny. I miss you! You should've seen me the other day, I tried that milkshake you recommended and it was amazing." I sniffle and chuckle. Silence overtakes me as I take in the heaviness of everything once again.

"I miss you so much." I whisper, my voice hoarse. My throat feels like it's closing and I feel like I'm suffocating from all the pain I'm having.

It shouldn't have been like this, it wasn't supposed to end like this.

"I wish so so much you were still here. But you're right. It'll be okay, besides, that was the last thing you said to me. But it's hard to be okay without you." I hiccup, rubbing my eyes.

"But hey, I'll be okay, just not the okay I used to be."

I rub my fingers along the dirt beneath me and I see a water drop fall onto my fingers. It's raining.

I look up and water falls onto my face, dripping off the sides and coolness flowing on me.

I open my eyes and look back down, my hair sticking to my face and my clothes start to get soaked.

"Just wanted to let you know that you don't have to worry about us. I hope you're in peace now. I hope dad is there with you. Tell him I said hi for me will ya?" I whisper to her as I send a kiss to her with two fingers.

I wipe my eyes one last time and get up patting myself down again. The rain hitting against my raw skin and the stone in front of me.

I take one last glance at it. At granny.

This is it. It's over.

Then I turn around walking away...my brothers following behind and not leaving my side one bit.

___
•A month after the funeral•

We're at a family gathering. Its something James put up so we could all have fun and so I could meet more family members.

"Heya little cuz. Tell Liam here that he cannot beat me at monopoly!" Dean laughs while patting me on the shoulder. Liam rolls his eyes.

I raise my hands up.

"Hey don't ask me, I have no idea. Goodluck though." I tell him and he frowns while walking away annoying the heck out of Liam.

I walk over to Oliver and James and they both grin at me. They were talking to some other cousins of mine. Apparently, I have a girl cousin in the family. crazy right?

"Hey cousin, how's the other girl in the fam doing?" Aileen asks me and I shrug my shoulders.

"She's doing good." I grin at her and she laughs nodding her head.

"Good. Don't let these fools get on your nerves too much." She pats my back and I nod at her. James and Oliver both look annoyed as she walks away.

"So, you guys up for a trip to the best theme park ever? I heard a new one opened up and I want all of us to go." Oliver beams and James shakes his head.

"No, I don't go to those type of things." He says emotionless and Oliver and I roll our eyes.

"Come on, live a little will ya brother? Lighten up." Oliver jokes around and punches him in the arm. But James death stares Oliver and he smiles nervously.

"Or You could always decide later... Oh hey I think someone is calling my name!" He chuckles nervously as he runs off. James huffs in annoyance and then turns to me.

"Go find Leo for me will you?" He asks me, smiling softly as he places a hand on my hair and ruffles it a bit.

"Sure." I reply, whacking his hand off my head and he laughs a bit. He leans down and kisses my head then walks off towards different family members.

I walk around for a bit until I spot Leo. He's talking with Bella.

Oh did I mention they're dating now? It's incredible right? I knew it would happen. Oh but it is so awkward. My best friend dating my brother.

(To clarify confusion, Bella is 15 now while Kim is 14. Bella is one year older than Kim, and Kim already had her birthday. Leo is 17.)

"Hey lovebirds." I joke and Leo glares at me.

"Kim! The food is so good you have to try some-" she squeals as she hugs me.

"I will. Im just not hungry right now." I shrug my shoulders and she frowns.

"You better eat." Leo mumbles and I cross my arms.

"Don't be such a jerk." Bella whispers as she punches Leo in the shoulder.

He grumbles but doesn't say another word. Better not to cross Bella at any time, I keep a note in my head.

"Well I'll leave you guys to it. Leo, good-luck!" I tell them and Bella rolls her eyes at my comment. I laugh and then walk away, them continuing their conversation.

Its so nice today. It couldn't be any better really. It's sunny, no rain, no cold, not windy, just how I like it.

School starting again in 2 weeks and I'm nervous. But I'm glad Bella and my brothers will be there with and for me. I don't know what I'd do without them.

Liam is going out of the state for a while though. He has a opportunity to study about auto mechanics for a bit and he decided to take up on its offer.

He's been obsessed with fixing cars. I'm glad he finally is going for it.

Oh and I cut my hair by the way! I got layers and curtain bangs. I love it so much. It's feels more like me now I guess.

A good change for the better.

"E-excuse me? Are you Kim?" I hear from behind me and I turn around to see a old man standing there.

"Yes I am? Um- who are you?" I ask him and he smiles softly signaling if he could sit beside me and I nod.

"I'm reynold. I'm your grandfather." He tells me and I freeze up in shock.

"You're granny's husband. I've heard about you. I'm so sorry about what happened." I whisper to him and he shakes his head softly.

"Thank you but I've come to terms with some things now. Ive been wanting to give you something."

He tells me handing me a small wooden box with a turtle carved into it on the top.

"It's something she left behind for you. She was planning to give it to you once you turned 18 but you know, things changed." He tells me and I stare at it in silence.

I hold it in my hands like it's made of glass.

She left this for me?

I open the box slowly and it opens to one of the prettiest things I've ever seen. A black necklace of a raven. But it's pure stone. It feels so, so intriguing.

"I-I love it. I have no words, thank you so much. It means so much to me." I stutter as I stare at it in awe.

"No need to thank me, I'm just the messenger. Take care of it will you?" He says smiling and gets up. He waves bye and walks off.

I look back down at the necklace in front of me and I take it out. Hooking it around my neck and letting it fall onto my skin. It's cold, but it looks so beautiful.

I once told granny about my love for this Raven tattoo from a movie I saw before. I guess she must've remembered.

I look down at the necklace and tears well up in my eyes.

I won't ever let it go.

I feel okay.

I look around and I spot everyone laughing and smiling. Talking with each other and conversating about things in their lives.

It makes me happy, seeing them all together.

I feel loved. I finally feel like I have a family and it feels amazing.

I'm still lost though. But that's okay because you don't always need a plan, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see where it takes you.

I look up again and I smile.

I have it good.

"Kim come over! We're going to play some limbo!" Bella yells at me and I smile at her and nod.

Here goes nothing.

One step at a time.

I close the box and softly put it on my chair. Standing up, the sun shining in my face as I walk towards my new start.