Chapter • 10 - My father

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I nervously look back at the photo, simply not having any words for it. This is my father? The one who apparently didn't want me?!

Just like my own mother And here they all are happy.

I don't mean to act all jealous, but it's always there inside of you. We all long to have something that isn't ours or something we  don't have.

And I longed for a perfect family. A reason why this all happened.

A reason why for every single little thing.

"Kim?" Liam asked and stepped a little closer. My daze suddenly knocking out of me.

I froze and looked up at him. "I-I need to go." I stuttered before Kicking off my feet and running as fast as I could to anywhere I could. I didn't know where I was heading but anywhere is better than there.

My vision was blinded with anger and my conflicted emotions.

I keep running until I meet the back door of the house. I turn the nob and walk out into the sun.

It's very nice outside now that I think about it. Lately it has been gloomy. Nothing shiny, nothing out of the ordinary, just gloomy. I personally don't like the gloomy look on the sky.

It makes everything feel so sad and I just hate it. Who wants to see the sky sad?

I walk over to a tree and start to climb it, swinging over the first branch I see. Laying my head back and relaxing letting all my worries wash away.

What was I expecting? My father to come back and tell me why he left me? I mean my mom told me that he left me, and that's what I believed but it could also all be a lie.

My mom or Mary was only my mom for a short time before she became someone I didn't recognize. She then met Joe and that's when everything went to hell. All the pain and suffering that came along with him. That's why I'm so grateful to have had Damon.

He saved me, in ways I can't describe.

Joe changed her for the worse. She didn't love me anymore. Then It made me rethink if she ever did.

If anyone ever did.

"KIM!! WHERE ARE YOU! DONT FUC- DON't RUN OFF!!" I can hear shouting getting closer. And oh god it isn't just Liam it sounds like.

On my back laying on the branch I shift a little left to look at the door. All 4 of my brothers run out and instantly spot me. "KIM COME HERE NOW." Liam shouts, rage covering his eyes.

Jeez Luiz, why is he so mad?

On a second thought, They all look mad oh no...

I attempt to raise myself up but I accidentally grab onto nothing and slip off hitting my hand on a rock. Why me?

I blink a few times before I can really tell what's going on. I feel bad pain everywhere but mainly on my hand. I squint down to look at my hand and it is purple.

I mean very bruised up. Seems like I sprained it, lovely.

I hear footsteps coming fast and I look up to see my brothers rushing to my side and kneeling down.

"Oh god oh god, Kim? Are you okay? Tell me what hurts or if anything does!!!" Oliver rambles on while looking at me searching for any injuries. I softly laugh a bit shaking my head.

"Just peachy."

James spots my hand and lifts it up inspecting it. "Come on Leo and Liam help her get up and let's take her to the couch." He demands and holds my hand while Leo and Liam help me get up.

Leo has a little worried look on his face but shakes it off when he sees me staring at him.

They sit me on the couch while James wraps my hand with bandage and explains to me that I sprained my wrist. He told be very careful and some other stuff at which point I zoned out.

I'm too distracted by the picture. I need answers, and they have them.

"What's on your mind?" Oliver asks staring at me and everyone turns to me.

"More like who." Liam adds and huffs.

I scoff a little but James gives me a look that kind of scares me. So I don't give an attitude. At least not yet.

"My father, OUR father. What happened? Where is he, why did he leave me, why didn't you guys find me and come for me? Do you guys actually love me? Does anybody? I'm so lost and so confused and I feel so alone! It's like have nobody, and it's always been like that. I need answers, that's all I ask of you!!" I shout at them while tears start to form in my eyes. They all freeze up like if I did something wrong.

They just can't handle the truth and the truth is I've been through a hell lot. And They weren't there for it until it was too late.

"Kim." Leo says to me. He barely talks to me. This is a huge step...

I turn to him still crying but I feel like I'm hyperventilating. Am I having a panic attack?

"Focus on me and nothing else. I used to have these okay. You need to think of something happy. Think about something you like doing maybe or somewhere you like going. You need to distract yourself from it. You're going to be okay." he calmly says to me, looking me straight in the eye.

His calming voice relaxes me. I try to think of the Time me and Damon went and stole some snacks from the vending machine. My hand got stuck but he helped me and gave me his candy because I was crying. Oh how I wish I could relive it.

Tell him how grateful I am to have had him as my brother. Will it ever be this good again? Will my life ever be this happy?

Only time will tell.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes then let it all out, sobbing into my hands as I shake my head.

A little time passes until I slowly open my eyes to find my brothers concerned and staring at me.

"Okay guys the show is over I'm all good now." I comment softy, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

Leo quickly backs away and sits on a couch in a diff place. "Thank you Leo.." I tell him while smiling.

"Yeah." He looks away.

Oliver looks stunned or in a state of shock. Maybe I'll leave him alone.

"Kim. Look at me." James demands and then walks over and sits down in front of me. He is staring me in the face and my nerves start rising up again.

He does not look happy but not mad either. He looks like he is trying to hide what he is feeling.

I look up at him nervously waiting for the scolding I'm going to get for yelling and giving attitude isn't he?

He raises his hand and I flinch back putting my hands up. My heart starts racing really fast.

"Do you really think I'd touch you or ever lay a hand on you?" His voice says out while straightening his face. He looks kinda upset now.

"Um no I'm sorry it's just on instinct I guess..." I reply trying to divert what just happened. I can see Liam raising his eyebrows from the corner of my eye like if it's complete bullshit.

I mean it isn't, it's an instinct but the reason why is a whole different story.

"Okay. Look Kim, our dad was a complicated man I can indeed say that. But what I can promise you is he loved you very much and he would never give you away. What really happened is Mary took you away without us knowing. We tried to look for you but we never found you. I promise we did try to look for you. We should've done more though I admit, and for that blame me. But just know that we all love you so very much and we'd always want you around. Including father."

I'm speechless. My mom lied to me? I mean that part I can totally believe but I'm so confused as to why she did it. She acted like she hated me and despised me.

Why put me through all that crap when you could've just let me live a regular life with father and my brothers.

"Then where is he." I ask quietly.

James tightens his mouth and everybody else has a sad expression. Liam looks mad, Leo looks upset and Oliver looks like he is on the verge of crying.

"He died A while ago. I then took the role of father and took care of everyone."

I stare at James.

What? He died..

I didn't even get to meet my own father? I mean I had so many questions I- why I mean how?

"It's getting late I think it's time for you to sleep. We can continue this tomorrow." James announces and all the other boys walk out while James stands in front of me and lends a hand out.

Even though I'm on the verge of running, I grab his hand because they're my brothers. I don't think I could hate them even if I wanted to.

We walk to my room and he stands by my front door.

"Kim we love you a lot and we hope you know that." He comes in and hugs me. Then pulls away and walks out, closing the door behind him.

I know they love me. And I love them. But it's going to take time for me to understand and forgive.

It just doesn't happen like that.

All the pain and scars I had to go through, it's going to take some time to forgive them. Not the people who did it, but forgive the pain and let it go away.

And I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell them my past. My scars. My abuse.

My living hell.

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lol this chapter is done what did u think? She finally found out about her father. Her real one of course cuz you know fuck the fake one. (Step dad)

Anyways I hope u liked it and expect another one soon :))


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