Guilt washes over me as I look down at my cellphone. The time is now a bit after seven and Celeste has yet to respond to any of my texts or missed calls.

I press send to the text message remaining in the text box.

Persephone: I had drinks with a few colleagues. Is that why you're avoiding me?

My eyebrows knit together as I trace my eyes along the lines. I don't know where I could have went wrong. Drinks were well over an hour and a half ago, I have not missed dinner with her. I am more than ready for what I promised her. I have red wine and the groceries will be delivered to her home soon to make dinner. I type up another message to send her.

Persephone: I had no clue you wanted me back to you as soon as work was done. I was invited to a bar and I didn't want to decline like always.

I wait a few moments. My message doesn't even send. I press the power button and stuff my phone into my pants pocket. I don't know how to make up for something I have no clue of being my wrongdoing, but I will try. I step into my closet and tug down a fresh suit and crisp shirt. I plan to stay the night at her place even if she demands I sleep on the floor or couch, in which I hope she doesn't punish me so harshly. Going out into the bedroom again I pull a drawer open and take a pair of new underwear to add to what I'm taking. I go a step further to take a pair of sleeping pants and a shirt. She might want me to be fully clothed tonight if she's angry.

I stuff it all into one bag before pulling my phone out to check for any sign of her. She still doesn't respond, and my message doesn't go through, either. I huff as I walk down the stairs and to the front door. I lock my place up and get into my car. I start my car with a heavy heart and go onto the road. I'll really need to make an impression if I want her to forgive me. There aren't many stores open similar to the small shop that sells the best flowers, she closes at five, so I drove to the nearest Walgreens. Their flowers are always nice... as an alternative I guess. I'll get her some chocolates as well.

The moment I arrive I turn my engine off and hurry to get out. I really shouldn't be another minute late if that's what she's mad at me about.

I'm lucky to find that the store has little customers. I go down to the isle that has flowers and pick up the biggest bouquet I can find. It holds a few different flowers, but what sticks out to me is that it has purple hydrangeas. They mean a lot to me and I'm sure they mean a lot to her as well.

I walk down another isle to find her a cute card I could quickly write in.

Get well soon!

No. She's not sick.

Happy birthday!

Not her birthday, thought this would have mattered a few months ago when it was. I'm still pained I forgot about such a big day for her.

Congratulations!

She's not graduating or with child.

I love you to the moon and back!

Basic, but it is the only thing making sense to me right now in my fucked up head. I pull the card down and stuff it into the bouquet.

I find a few different chocolate candies to give her and carry it all to the counter. A man with a set frown on his face does a once over of my items and smiles a bit.

"Your person must be lucky to have you."

I smile a bit, hoping she still wants me. She's never avoided me before. Maybe she felt too pressured. I wanted to feel the inside of her body so badly. I was adamant on not using protection. It was so stupid of me. Her past has affected her a great amount, it will probably take her more than a few months to trust me with her body so quickly. I sure hope she didn't just do it for my own pleasure. I feel nauseous thinking of it in that way.

I nod to him, knowing he doesn't need to know about the problems I'm facing right this moment. "My girlfriend. I want to make her smile tonight."

The last items beeps. He puts it into a bag. "I'm sure she will." He tells me the total and I pull out a card, picking over the only trace of cash in my wallet, a single fifty dollar bill.

I gather the bags and take them to my car where I start the engine before texting her one last time.

Persephone: I seem to have wounded you a great amount. I am sorry. Forgive me.

I begin the drive to her place and feel as though I have truly wounded her and myself, totally unintentionally. If I'd known she wanted me to be back to her so quickly, I would have, no questions asked. After all, I should have come back to her. We didn't spend much time together this morning after sex. We shared a shower together, but maybe it wasn't enough for her, surely it wasn't enough for me. If I had nothing important to do today, I would have drawn her a warm bath and massaged her entire body to her liking before preparing her a light snack.

Faint music in the background causes my eyes to blur as I go further down the road. It's only when I stop my car that I realize I've drowned in my thoughts on the way here. I pull a pen from the glove compartment and write something quick.

I envy the air you breathe in, and lust for the air you breathe out. It doesn't matter to me what time the sun goes up, my day doesn't start until I've saw you. I am grateful to have you, I wouldn't want anything less. Please continue loving me. I can not bare a time where you will ever refuse me.

—Your desperate lover

I stick the card into the bouquet and leave my car. Even just appearing at her door makes me queasy. I don't know if she'll turn me away.

I glance over at the flower pot resting by her door. I lift it and to my surprise the key is no longer there. I wanted her to move it as it was so predictable, but she hadn't until today. I place it back down and go to the side where I lift a few rocks. She is so predictable. I take the key and unlock the door.

Fear shoots through me as I open the door to what seems like an endless loop of darkness. I've never witnessed her home as dark as it looks right now. I quickly pull my phone out and turn the flash on. I turn my head away from the door and have a quick look out to the driveway. Her car is here. I thought it was. I step inside and hit every light switch near me.

"Baby?" I call out for her, hoping if she'd hear me she'd respond to me.

She doesn't.

Her purse and jacket are on the centerpiece. I lock her front door and walk over to her purse, squeezing it to feel it's contents. She hasn't swapped bags, this is the one she wore today. She wouldn't have left home without her purse.

From the living area I can see a small glimpse of the backyard from the small window on the door. None of the porch lights are on so I don't expect her to be there. I call out to her once again and begin to make my way down the corridor.

I can't help that I turn on every light I can find.

Her room door is peeled shut, darkness seeping from underneath the door.

I slowly turn the handle and push it open. I cringe at the low creak it makes. It's so dark inside that I can see nothing. I walk towards the nightstand and feel around until I am turning it on.

Celeste lies there with her back facing me, her knees pulled to her chest as she curls into a ball. She looks cold, however she doesn't have the cover around her. She doesn't move an inch, fallen fast asleep.

I dip my hand into my pocket and pull my wallet and keys out to sit on the nightstand. The damned paper from the bouquet threatens to wake the sleeping beauty so I inch my hand closer and closer to the stand before I'm sitting it down along with her chocolate.

I pull off into her closet to remove my shoes and jacket. I don't want to wake her with the way it'll sound coming off. As I exit her closet I fold my jacket and walk around her bed to sit it on top of the dresser.

I notice slight movement as she pulls her knees closer to her chest and hides her face. My eyebrows knit together, not knowing if she's asleep or awake now. I go back to the side of the bed I usually take over and gently sit myself down, not wanting to do so roughly and be the cause of waking her if she is asleep.

Her body slyly jolts as she sniffles. My brows crease further. I scoot myself closer to her and place a gentle hand on her leg.

"Celeste..." I rub her leg, attempting to coax her into talking to me. I hope she isn't crying because of me.

She sniffles again, this time pulling her legs so that I am no longer able to touch her. She treats my touch as if it's some foreign acid from a laboratory and it doesn't make me feel good.

I place my hand onto the bed as I lean closer to her. She hides her face away from me, turning.

I swallow, inching closer to her despite her act. "Celeste... tell me what's wrong, baby."

She shakes her head. "No... you won't want to be with me anymore." She says lowly.

I don't believe her. "If you have a sexually transmitted disease you can tell me. I won't leave you—"

"It's not that."

I pause for a brief moment. I knew I loved her, but I really know it now. That is the craziest thing I've ever said before.

I pull my hand back to her leg and slide my hand up to the curve of her side. "Why wouldn't I want to be with you? I told you I want to be with you forever."

"I can't make you happy." She cries.

I lean over her body and lift a hand to her face. I drag my pinky finger along the side of her face to remove the stray pieces of hair. "You already make me so happy. My appearance has changed so much because of the happiness I receive from you."

She doesn't say anything. Her body rises as she takes in a deep breath. I stay quiet for a moment before sticking my fingers into her hair and pulling it off of her forehead.

"Please tell me what I did wrong."

"You did nothing wrong. You're perfect." Her words are a relief to my heart but it still upsets me that she's upset.

"I want to know what has you so upset. Did you want me to come to you as soon as work was done?"

She shakes her head.

"Are you crying because of anything I did... or didn't do?"

She shakes her head again.

I go to cuddle her but she lifts and throws her feet over the bed. She heads for the door and I follow after her. She's found the wine I brought here for our date. She walks around the counter to get a corkscrew, and she opens the wine before pouring herself a glass. She downs it's like water. I go over to her and gently take the glass.

She protests for a moment but I don't give in. I sit the glass away from her and press her back into the counter, caging her with my arms beside her as I look at her.

"Please tell me. I've never seen you this way. It pains me to see this."

She sniffles, looking down at her hands. "I don't... I won't be able to get pregnant."

My heart stutters as I look at the top of her head, eyeing her black hair. I can't believe her words. I lift my hand and pull it under her chin to force her eyes into mine. Her brown irises hold thick tears that threaten to pool her face any second.

I swallow. "Is that what the doctor told you?"

Her cheeks pull downwards into a frown. The moment she blinks her tears fall down. "Y-yes... she told me that my cervix is narrow. There's a low chance I'll be able to get pregnant. If I do, it may result in a miscarriage. I'm sorry."

I pull her closer to me and wrap my arms around her body. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is something you're experiencing, baby."

She cries into my chest. "We will never have our family of four. I feel so horrible."

I nod. "I know." I whisper. "But there are plenty of options we can choose from. We can adopt. We can pay for a surrogate. If someone you know is up to it we can even ask them. We will have a family of four, baby."

"I will never know what it feels like to carry a baby. What if the child doesn't understand I'm their mother?"

"They will. They will know who their mother is, and you'll be an amazing mother. They will love you so much."

She shakes her head. "I don't know what to do. It made me so sad to hear that news. I wish you could have been there for me. I needed someone."

Her words make me feel horrible. "I would have been there if I had known. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"You didn't know."

I pull back and force her eyes into mine.

"I don't care if you can't have kids. You should know that".

"That doesn't make me feel better."

I frown. "I'm sorry." I shake my head, lost for words. "But if we have kids or not, I still want you. I don't mind being sixty and just having my wife to love. It's all I need."

"B-but I want cute little fat babies."

I fight back a grin.

"I want what you want."

She sniffles. "And it will break my heart to get pregnant and miscarry. It's so unfortunate. So many horrible people are able to have kids but here I am. Your cervix is narrow. My body is so infuriating. I bleed every month, have horrible cramps, and I can't bare children."

"She said it's a low possibility."

"It's the same thing. She has to be compassionate so she uses extra words. Fuck. I need another drink."

She swivels her way out of my grasp and takes her wine glass. I guess a romantic dinner is out of the question now. She tips the bottle over and pours a lengthy glass. She starts to down it but I stop her midway.

"Baby, please. Don't drink this so fast. At least take it slow."

"I don't want it slow, I want it fast."

I tilt my head, my lips pressing into a thin line.

She rolls her eyes, groaning. "Xyle, don't go acting like my dad or something. I'm already dealing with a lot." She turns to leave the kitchen. I stay put for a second before following her to the living area.

"Let's lie down."

She protests. "I don't want to lie down. I was already lying down."

"I know, baby, but you don't seem well. Let me draw you a bath and relax you. I'm sure you're tired." I hold a hand out for her but she refuses it.

"I... I don't know what I want. I just want to sit and finish my large glass of wine."

I nod and choose to sit next to her. She lifts her abnormally large glass of wine to her lips and downs it before I am able to say anything.

Just as I am about to ask her to relax again, the doorbell rings. She quirks and eyebrow. I know it's the grocery delivery. I bring the groceries inside and put them away. I guess I'm too distracted because she fills her glass again and downs it.

I rush over to her and take the glass away this time. "Please. I don't want you to get too drunk. No more wine."

"No more wine." She mocks me.

I take the wine bottle and tip it over in the sink.

She pouts, coming closer to me. "W-why did you do that?"

"Because you've had enough for the both of us. Now please, lie down or allow me to relax you. Otherwise, I will chain you to the bed."

"You," she teasingly points at my chest "I knew you had a thing for tying people up. Probably why you haven't had your happy ending."

"My happy ending will settle with you."

She shrugs. "Maybe... or you'll find another woman who can give you children."

I shake my head. "When I think of my future, the constant person is you. You are always there. Children or no children."

"Maybe you'll have a mistress if I get too boring... you're more experienced than I am, you may want to have someone who knows how to give better... blowjobs or knows how to ride you better."

It pains me to hear her speak this way.

I walk to her and gently grab her hand, pulling it to my mouth to kiss. "I will never cheat on you. And you are experienced enough to pleasure me each and every time we lie down in bed. Anything you don't know, I'll be happy to teach you."

"I bit your penis."

"Once, but you've pleasured me so much after that. I never think about that."

She swallows. "And... I-I argued with you a lot before we dated."

"Most of it was my fault."

"You broke that lamp." She squints her eyes.

I nod. "I did."

"On purpose." She adds.

I nod. "I did."

"My mother told me you were violent. She said it's the reason you got that scar. You hit your father. She told me I should be careful of you."

My heart stills. She never has to be careful with me. I am a patient man for her.

"When did your mother tell you that?"

"Today."

"After the doctors?"

"Before... I don't fear you, though. I don't s-see you that way."

"You should never fear me."

"I don't."

"I was only defending my mother when I hit my father, and I held back a great amount. To be fair, he hit me first. I was defending myself as well. It is why I have this scar."

I don't know why Amina would tell her that. It pains me.

"I'm sorry." She slurs, stepping closer to me and lifting her hand to run her finger along my scar. "You still look so pretty, baby."

I smile, pulling her hand down. "Thank you." I kiss her hand.

She yawns. "I-I feel so jiggly."

"You drank a lot of wine... really fast. You should lie down now."

She agrees this time and holds her arms up, gesturing for me to carry her. I scoop her into my arms and she lies her head onto my chest as I walk her through the lit corridor. I lie her down in bed and place my hands at the button of her pants.

"Let's get you dressed for bed. Just want to cuddle you. I'm so tired."

She places her feet onto the bed and raises her hips to make it easier for me. "M'so horny, baby." She purrs.

I pull her jeans from her ankles. "It's okay. Just close your legs." One sight of the center of her underwear and I'm already ready to tear into her body.

I sit her jeans beside me as I remove her shirt. She raises her arms and lies back on her elbows. She pulls a hand behind herself and unclips her bra, and tosses it at me as I make my way over to her dirty clothes hamper.

When I turn to see her again she's biting her lip. "Need you to come and fuc—"

"Baby, please." I beg. "Stop it."

I pull out a gown from her drawer and slip it over her body. If I could force her to wear a mechanic's suit right now, I would.

She lies down on her back. "I knew you'd come and take care of me." Her sweet voice raises a few octaves, making my heart swim.

"I'm glad you knew."

"Mhum... you are always so caring and gentle. I've never had that before you. Only my parents." She turns to her side.

I unbutton my pants and pull them down. I make sure to turn away, not wanting to convince her.

"I try my hardest to be gentle with you."

"And patient... you are so patient with me."

I hum.

"That underwear makes your ass look mighty fine... can I touch it?"

What?

"I'd like it if you didn't."

"Okay." She says. "Do you promise it's mine?"

"What?"

"Your ass."

I turn back to her, her eyes dropping to my bare chest. "Yes, it is yours."

"And your... I-I don't like to share. No one puts their mouth there except me."

I nod. "No one touches it other than myself, and you... and the doctor."

She nods. I walk over to the bed and push myself under the cover to cuddle her. She comes close to me and puckers her lips. I pull back. "Don't try anything."

She frowns. "I'm not trying anything with you. I love you so I want to kiss you."

I nod. I lean over to kiss her. She comes in hard, opening her mouth and attempting to push her tongue inside. I kiss her for only a second before pulling