I lie against the soft sheets in my bed, dressed only in a pair of my own underwear and a pale pink camisole. The intense gaze in his eyes makes me squirm. There is no way I would ever be able to be still as he gawks at me this way. He's standing right at the edge, both hands in his pockets, his pelvis pushed out. It is the sexist thing I've seen all day, all week if you ask me. It's been a few days since I last spent time with him. With work, I can never spend consecutive days with him.

Good lord. I surely missed him. Sleeping alone is no longer fun and not having someone kiss my temples when he thinks I am sleeping isn't either. All of the little things he does makes me miss him so much.

He looks like he has a special glow all around him. One that is powerful enough to pull me in a trance and make me do some crazy stuff. His movements are so subtle and not quick, I don't even know what he's going to do next. Will he stare at me? Is he finally going to kiss me? Mindlessly, I look up at him, too.

"Enjoying the show?" I whisper in a teasing voice. Seriously. He is just staring, not saying a single thing. I'm sure I would've shit myself if I had woken up to this.

First he grins, and then he smirks. He pulls his right hand out of his pocket and lazily points at me with it. He waves it for a small second, gesturing to me. "You have no idea how fucking sexy you look, even when you're doing absolutely nothing" he says. In that case, I could have him watch me for hours.

Something else appeases my mind.

"You should come lie down with me". I slide my palm over to the side of the bed where he'd lay, and tap the spot twice. It's ice cold. No body of warmth laid there in almost a week.

He purses his lips at me. "I don't mind watching. I love to watch" his eyes dart to the very small piece of skin that lies between the band of my underwear and the hem of my shirt. "I want you to spread your legs. Show me how you've pleasured yourself without me" he murmurs a soft command.

Holy shit.

I gasp, obviously flushed, I'm sure he can tell. "Why watch me when you can join me in bed?" I whisper, my voice tantalizing.

My eyes gaze down to his lips. He rolls his tongue out and coats it with wetness before shaking his head. "I want to see your face when you're being pleasured. I want to see how your pretty face looks when your mouth is o shaped and letting those angelic sounds fall" his voice pushes me further. The rasp in his tone makes me obey him.

I slowly pull my legs up and let my feet rest on the sheets. I spread my legs wide and make sure that he can see my face. "I may need some help" I whisper, giving him the come hither motion with my pointer finger. He grins wickedly as he pulls away from the edge of the bed and comes to my side. I lift my hand for him to take, and without hesitation he singles out my pointer finger and puts it in his mouth to coat it with wetness.

I watch him deeply as I slowly pull my finger away, this being one of the most arousing things I've ever seen in my life. In a hurry, he goes back to the edge of the bed and watches, again. I slide my hands down my stomach and reach down to my wet underwear. I pull it to the side to expose my sex and his eyes go down to have a look before he looks back up at my eyes.

I inhale deeply as I feel around, teasing myself a bit as I look at him. That's what it felt like not having him do this to me. No matter what I did to myself, it just didn't feel like him. During the one phone call we shared, I explained to him how I felt and he gave me a few directions for what he does. I climaxed, but it didn't feel as great as he makes me feel all the time.

My body jolts a bit as I finally touch my clitoris with my wet finger, thinking deeply about his tongue being in place of it. My lips part and I let a small and breathy moan escape. Oh he still keeps me in need although he's here to satisfy me. I circle my finger around it once, letting my back arch as my sex starts to throb.

I close my eyes as I circle it again, and again. The feeling of my hand between my legs begins to intensify. I'm breathless as I bring my other hand up and stick a finger into my mouth. It only relieves me for a second before I feel the peak coming for me. "Xyle" I moan.

I open my eyes again and look down at him. There is no emotion on his face. I can't tell if he likes this or not. It makes it even more arousing. My lips stay agape as I circle my finger until I reach the peak. I convulse, my legs tighten, and my breaths are heavy. My chest rises as I feel my core throb to its intensity. My pulse jackhammers. I shiver with excitement before it dials down immediately. It never lasts as long as it does with Xyle.

I exhale deeply as I look down to see him but to my surprise he is already dipping a knee into the bed and hovering over me to kiss me. I moan, giving in and wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer. He feels so good and warm. I want him flush against my body.

He groans into the kiss as he pushes his tongue inside, for sure making me take all of it. I open wide, wanting every inch of him I can take. The feeling of pleasure has taken over me. I kiss him once more before pulling back and licking my lips.

"Do you have a condom?" I ask all breathy.

Oh no. He looks angry. Or disappointed. I don't know. My eyes blink repeatedly as I can already feel my heart sinking. What is he thinking right now? His eyebrows knit together and his lips press into an angry thin line. My heart rate picks back up. Shit.

He takes a beat, looking down at me and just breathing. Then, he lifts a hand to gently brush over the top of my hair. "Baby" he murmurs.

I feel too exposed now. I want to cover myself up but with his large body between my legs, I can do no such thing. I want to just hide away.

He looks down at me with a more gentle look. "No. I do not have a condom. I don't carry them around anymore. Even if I did, I wouldn't do anything with you".

My lip trembles. "You wouldn't?" I ask. Rejection. So much freaking rejection. I feel it in my chest. It hurts.

He shakes his head, a small laugh falling from his lips. Now he's laughing. He thinks I'm pathetic.

"Not yet. Not under these circumstances. We haven't even said I love you to each other yet. I imagined our first time to be a bit different, not under these circumstances. Not when we've been apart for six days and you pity fuck me because you think it's what you want in the moment, or that I deserve it now. You have to know that I want to be inside of you so badly and if I thought with my dick, I would, but I'm thinking with my heart, and my heart says to wait. So to answer your question, baby, I do not have one, and I will not have any until you think about it more" he murmurs.

I swallow. "I understand" I say lowly "but it wouldn't be a pity fuck. It would be a 'I trust you' fuck" I mumble. "I'm sorry".

He gives me a gentle smile before coming down to kiss me.

"You have nothing to apologize for, darling. I love the intimate moments we have. We need these. Please don't ever apologize for being vulnerable with me. I'm your lover" he runs his index finger along my lips. It makes me shudder.

"Okay" I whisper. I'm still shy but I try to fight past it. I want to get lost in the moment with him again. I lift my head again and press my lips into his. "I hope I didn't ruin the moment".

He tilts my head towards him. "No, you turned me on even more. I want to go down on you". Again. Is he obsessed with doing this?

I shake my head. "No. I want to do it to you this time" I say.

I pull my arms back and push them against his chest but he doesn't move. He's like stone. I pull my eyebrows together, voicelessly asking him what his problem is. He shakes his head.

"You never have to do that if you don't want—"

"Xyle, move" I softly demand.

He pulls back, and gazes at me with a steady face. I pull myself to my knees beside him.

"Why do you always do that?" I ask and he stares. "You please me so much, I want to please you as well. There is nothing else I can do since you won't fuck me so why not allow me to do it? I am not fragile, Xyle. Just because I told you what happened to me before doesn't mean you have to treat me like glass. It's really irritating to think that you think I am not capable of—"

He stares at me frantically and reaches for me to make me stop my rambling. "Hey... no need to get so fired up, baby. I think you are capable of a lot of things, even this. I just don't want you to feel pressured. Just because I go down on you doesn't mean you have to do it to me. I do it for my own pleasure, not to get something in return" he explains.

I nod. "Okay so don't treat me like a little girl or something. I can handle going down on you. But if you don't want me to, tell me. I don't want you to keep rejecting me. It hurts" I say with a gentle tone.

He smiles. "I'm not trying to reject you. I'm trying to be sure that you feel safe in everything we do".

"I do".

"Okay".

I focus on my hands in front of me. I twiddle with them. I don't know what to say to him now. When I look back up at him through my lashes, he's still looking.

"I want you to be truthful. I won't be offended. Do you want to or not? Don't feel pressured to say yes" I whisper.

He lifts his hand to my face and grazes my lip with his thumb. "You don't understand how badly I want these lips wrapped around me... but I don't know if you can take it just yet".

I pull back, grinning. "Do you think you're so big?" I ask.

"I don't brag, but my dick isn't small, you know that" he leans closer to me and kisses the corner of my mouth.

I shake my head. "You're not big, Xyle" I lie. He's a man of length and girth, I will admit that.

He pulls himself to his feet and places his hand around his belt buckle. "Then there should not be a inch of me outside of your mouth" his voice changes.

I silently gasp my horror. Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said. He unbuckles himself and works way with his zipper. He tugs his pants down and leaves his underwear on to show the large tint in them. He's very firm.

"I'm just awaiting you, darling. You tell me where you want me" he murmurs darkly.

I look around. Should I have him lie on the bed? Should he sit at the edge and I kneel before him? This would have been better if we were on the couch. I look at the bed. I guess here?

"You can lie down here" I say.

He follows my orders and lies himself down, leaving a space for me between his legs. I crawl between him and press my hand onto his firmness. He groans. My eyes wide, I look at him to see the pleasure on his face. I internally smile. He likes it already.

I stick my hands into the waistband of his underwear and he helps me shimmy them down his thick legs. His heavy phallus springs out and falls against his belly as I toss his boxer briefs aside.

He sticks a finger under my chin and pulls me up the length of his body. My legs pool with arousal as his lips sweep me in for a invading kiss, his tongue exploring me wildly. The passion in his kiss makes me moan into his mouth, and he swallows it as he goes. It's only when I pull away that we break the kiss.

I press a small kiss to his jaw, and on down to his neck. He hums as his hand finds it's way to the side of my torso to hold me. "Does this feel good?" I whisper against his skin.

I kiss his clavicle and feel him brush up against me. "You have no idea. Everything you do to me feels amazing" he assures me and I move down.

His chest is firm when I press my lips there. I brush my lips at his tattoo. He moans a bit before closing his mouth. I kiss his skin with a slow pace, wanting to be sure that all of him is loved. It's not long before I make it down to his phallus. I take him into my hand and look up at him. He's staring again.

My cheeks heat. "Do you have to watch me?" I ask.

"Yes".

I blush. I know it's a little too late to be shy, especially after what I just did a few minutes ago, but I can't help but be. I pull my eyes away from him and open wide to take him. I wrap my lips around the tip of him and listen as he groans.

"Don't suck too hard. Be gentle. The tip is very sensitive" he murmurs.

Shit. I internally scold myself. Of course the tip is the most sensitive part of the phallus. I loosen up a bit, and start again. I lap my wet tongue around his head. He deeply inhales as he reaches down to my face. He pulls my hair out of the way and to one side of my head where he holds it in a ponytail. Long breaths rush out of him as I go further and I find him lifting his hips to me, his grip on my hair tightening. I'm doing great.

"Your mouth feels so good around me" he breathes, his voice low and husky. He lifts his hips once more and it pushes him further into my mouth. I'm surprised that I don't gag. Instead, my throat opens more and I am able to take even more of him, and it makes me nervous that my hand can still wrap around it to let me know that there's still so much I'm not taking.

I give myself time to adjust to what he's giving me before I try to go further. My gag reflexes ache to kick in, but I push past them.

He groans again. "Just take your time. Are you nervous?" He asks.

Shit. I'm doing horrible. I pull back and look up at him. I shake my head. "I don't think so. Do I seem nervous?" I ask, a hand still wrapped around him.

He plays with my hair as he looks into my eyes. "You're doing it a bit hard" he says.

I frown. "I'm sorry" I mutter.

He shakes his head and smiles a bit. "Don't apologize. You're learning my body. This is the first time you've ever done this with me".

I nod my head. "Okay. Tell me how you want me to do it" I say. He nods and I go back down, cautiously wrapping my lips back around him.

"Go really slow like I taught you. Don't be so hard as you suck. It feels like you're trying to pull it out of its socket. Treat it like a gentle butterfly or something" he sweetly gives me directions with that voice of his, but did he have to say butterfly?

I go as slow as he taught me before, and loosen up as I suck. I have totally earned the reaction. He moans and thrusts his hips forwards as he twiddles with my hair. I internally jump with joy.

I take him down further. He groans. I pull back.

"Was that a good sound or a bad sound?" I ask, my heart racing.

He chuckles lightly. "Just loosen up on your hand now. You're doing good otherwise".

Shit. I hadn't thought about keeping my hand loose. I adhere to his words and go back down. This time he moans. I go slow and keep my hand and mouth gentle against him. He keeps moaning. Okay, this is good. This is a good sound. I swirl my tongue around the tip of his phallus.

Ding dong! Shit! I grow startled. He groans loudly this time. Oh no. That surely wasn't a good one. I pull back and he pulls his hand down to his phallus with a quickness, cupping it from me. My heart sinks. What did I do?

"What happened?" I gasp horror. He looks hurt. So hurt.

His eyes are pinched shut. He's nearly curling up in a ball. He breathes hard. "Your teeth...baby" he groans even more.

I panic. Did I bite it off? I jump to my feet and look around the room frantically. For what? I have no fucking clue. I look back at him and he doesn't seem to be bleeding, but again, he's got his hand around him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I chant, scared. My first time going down on him and I graze him with my fucking teeth! Shit.

The doorbell rings again and I don't know what the hell to do. I stare at him and I don't know how to comfort him. "Xyle—"

"It's fine, darling" he can barely even speak. What the hell.

I rush out of my room and go to the front door to open it. He is standing there with his phone pulled to his ear, but he pulls it down when he sees me.

"Dacre" I breathe.

His lips curl into a smile. "Are you alright? You look flushed".

No.

I give him a nervous smile. I can't blow my cover. I'm happy that Xyle parked in my garage this time. I think about what to say.

"Yeah, I was just... masturbating" not an entire lie.

He's amused. His eyebrows lift. "Really?".

I nod. "Yeah. I was so close, too". Oh God. Stop talking now!

He swallows and looks down at the folder in his hand. "Okay, sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to drop these photos off to you, Ms. Dj".

I pull my hand to my face. "Don't call me that" I groan. I take the folder from him and widen my eyes as I hear Xyle groan.

"Persephone".

Oh shit! Dacre looks off into the distance before looking at me with a smirk. "Ohhh, I see what this is". No. No. No. "You're getting some dick".

I shake my head. "I'm not, I swear" I say. I've been rejected.

"Well you're doing something. I'm telling Nelia—"

"No, please—" I start but stop.

"Who is the mystery guy?" He asks.

"I'm sorry, Dacre. We can catch up over lunch but I really need to go. Thank you for the pictures. Bye" I shoo him away and close the door. Fuck me! I lock the door and panic again.

"I'm coming" I yell as I rush into the kitchen. I pull the fridge open and take a ice pack out before rushing back into my room to give it to him. He still has his hand covered over himself.

"I have an ice pack" I whisper.

He opens his eyes and looks over at me. Shit. He's going to chew me up.

"I don't need an ice pack, Celeste. Thank you" he says mildly.

"Okay" I say lowly and toss it to the side.

He pulls himself to his back and sighs deeply. "I'm not mad at you so don't think I am. It just hurts like a bitch" he says.

"Okay" I say.

"Who was that at the door anyways?" He questions. There's no telling what's roaming his mind, or what'll roam his mind when I tell him who. It is pretty late in the day.

I flush. "Dacre" I whisper.

His eyes scan over what I'm wearing. "And he saw you in only this?" He mutters and winces. I feel so bad.

"Well yeah. I panicked, I didn't think about what I was wearing until you just mentioned it" I say, briefly looking away from him. I didn't even think to cover myself. "Don't be angry".

His lips curl into a thin smile. "I'm not, baby. I know none of this would have happened if you could have avoided it. Don't worry... about any of it. You don't have to finish, I've gone limp from the pain".

I frown. "I'm sorry" I mutter before standing. Now he won't let me or my mouth anywhere near his phallus ever again. He lets out another small groan but doesn't say anything else. I walk over to my clutch and pull a fifty dollar bill out. I don't know what I'm doing. I turn to him and walk closer with it in my hand.

"Here you go" I mumble.

He turns to look at what I'm trying to give. As if I've slapped him across the face, he looks up at me like I'm the most ridiculous woman in the world. He says nothing. I look away from him and bend to grab his pants. I stuff it inside.

I've just given Xyle fifty dollars because I grazed him with my teeth.

"It's been more than half an hour. You can't keep hiding away from me, darling" his voice causes my adrenaline to pump. My heart quickens it's pace and tightens, and for a moment I think about the possibility of me having a heart attack. I can not stop myself from shuddering. My hands are all shaky. I thought he would leave. Why hasn't he left me yet? My eyes sting badly.

He knocks on the door three soft times and it sounds as if he's pressing his forehead