Like the gates of heaven, my mind romped with joy, my subconscious with her hands raised towards the sky as Xyle stood beside the breakfast bar. He stroked a soft paper towel over his toned skin, leisurely removing the beautiful decor I gave him.

His lips were slightly parted as his eyes never left the spots he was trying to reach, seeming so focused on what he was doing.

He is so deep into the removal that he hasn't noticed my staring, which is a great thing. He wouldn't be able to call me out on it, or partake in an awkward gaze after I've been caught.

I walk past him and enter my vast kitchen, rummaging through the fridge to find anything appealing. Nope, still nothing. I close it and stand. Pulling a hand to my head, I scratch at it and turn myself around to look at him again, but he's already looking at me.

The wiping of his skin slows down. "Have you seriously not gone to the grocery store yet, Celeste?" He asks.

I don't want to answer him but it seems as if I should. I shrug and turn my entire body fully towards him, watching as his gray eyes look as if they want to sigh with heavy exasperation.

"Have you just been eating out for an entire week?" His tone and body language makes it seem as if it's one of his worst fears. He makes eating out seem disgusting. I shrug again.

"That's it. We're going grocery shopping" he pulls the paper towel away from his body and tosses it into the trash can before making a slow beeline for the living room couch. He grabs his gray shirt and scrunches it up to throw over his head.

"And I don't give a damn about the paint on your clothes" he continues. He slides the shirt down his arms and leaves me to stare at him. He's actually insane if he thinks I'll let him drag me into a grocery store with the way we both look. It's as if we've been rolling around in paint.

I stand back, leaning my lower back against the counter and crossing a leg over the other. I am in no position to seem as if I am ready to move, in which I'm not. Grocery store right now? Grocery store without changing into something more casual and not painted on? I'd rather be in line for fast food again.

He fixes his shirt to the best of his ability and swipes at the dried up yellow on his dark jeans before craning his neck to look over at me. For a few seconds, he stares at me and when I don't move he starts his journey towards me. In just seconds he is in front of me with his height hanging over me. He doesn't even give me time to act as if I want to protest before he's taking me by the hand and pulling me towards the door.

"My clutch" I yelp, snatching my keys off of the center piece as we past it. My clutch falls to the floor and rests onto its new spot.

"You won't need it" he gives me a puzzling smile as he pulls my front door open. Does he think he's super rich? If he does, he must know that I have money for my own groceries. I step out with a frown as he takes my keys and locks the door before pulling me towards his mysterious car. He opens the door and I climb inside before only catching a glimpse of the lower half of his face as he closes it. Moments later he's inside with me.

He starts his car and reverses out of the driveway before he switches gears and start forwards. I sit there with a frown on my face for a moment but he doesn't bother. I sigh. Still, he doesn't ask me what's wrong. I squint my eyes. Turning to him to see his face, I learn that his eyes are glued to the road.

"You seem focused" I say, pressing my lips into a thin line.

He rolls his lips out as he nods his head. "I thought you'd like that given that you actually drive with both hands on the wheel at all times" he says, raising both eyebrows for a short moment.

My eyebrows squint together at his snarkiness. "Are you trying to say that I'm a safe driver? As if that's offensive".

He shrugs his right shoulder and a small smile creases his face. "I'm just saying, Celeste. You can drive with one hand, you know".

"I guess one hand does get the job done for a man like you" I roll my eyes before turning my head towards the passenger's window.

He chuckles lightly.

I turn to him. "I'm saying that your penis is small" I inform him.

He nods his head. "It is" he tells me.

A smirk coats his face. I turn away from him, disgusted at his words. My knees angle towards the door as my body language shows that I don't want to be close to him. It is the opposite of what I actually feel but it's weird so I ignore it.

"Your friend Dacre... how did you meet him?" He asks me.

I slowly turn my head towards him to see him glancing at me. Now he's asking about my friend? I sigh, shrugging. "Met him during my freshman year of college" I give him a short answer to reveal nothing to him. It's none of his business.

"Yeah... how?" He asks.

I let out a sigh to show my irritation with all of his questions.

"Why does it matter, Xyle?" I ask him, feeling as if it's my turn to actually interrogate him back.

He shrugs. "He likes you".

The laughter that erupts deep in my belly startles me for a moment. It is genuine laughter. Okay, maybe he's actually insane. Dacre? If I had a penis it would probably be a different story, but I've been assured that he likes men.

"You can think it's funny, but it's true. I can tell". My laughter jumbles over his sentence but I am still able to hear him clearly. I wait a few seconds until my laughter dies down to speak to him again.

"How can you tell?" I poke my lips out in a teasing way to show my doubtfulness in his words.

He sticks a hand through his curls, pushing it back as if it was swamping his forehead. "It's the way he looks at you. He may like men, but he has a thing for you, though I don't feel as if he'd act on it" he says.

Part of me wants him to replace that name with someone else's but that may be a different story. I shrug, not really knowing how to respond to such a thing. So what Dacre likes me. He knows that this is not the lifetime where we'll ever be with each other. We're not each other's type.

"So why do you care? Do you have a thing for Dacre?" The thought of it makes me sick.

"No" he answers cooly.

My brain filters the many words it could say but I nearly end up with nothing. "Okay so... do you want to be friends with him?" I ask.

He chuckles lightly. "Not really, love. Wasn't planning on it".

"You have pretty hands" he changes the subject, making me look down at my brown fingers. I've never been complimented on the way my hands look. His words make me smile a bit.

"Too bad they're far too large for what I have" he digs and it makes me scowl at him.

I shake my head. "For once in my life I actually thought you were being a genuine person but I see that everything is always with a tone or joke that's either rude or unfunny" I call him out.

He turns the wheel into the parking lot of a grocery store. "I'm just saying. You said my dick was little first, so I had to confirm it with you. My dick is tiny, Celeste" he says with a nonchalant tone.

I don't know why but I don't believe him. It may not be really, really large, but I don't think it's small. I cut my eyes away from him and sit in silence as he parks almost perfectly. I hurry to exit the car.

"I was going to get the door for you, ma'am" he says with a mild tone as he follows after me. I smirk as I hurry to pull the grocery store's door open. He places a hand over my head and against the door, stopping me from being able to. "Ladies don't open doors around me. Open another one and I'll break all of your fingers" his tone was flat and I believed every word that came from his mouth.

I pulled away completely and just let him open it for me, not wanting him to ruin my fingers. I need these.

The door opens and the cool air swamps me in as we both enter together. He pulls a shopping kart from the side and begins to push it alongside me.

"You think they sell size small condoms here?" He asks. His mumbling makes me peer up at him. He smiles a triumphed one but I don't know why.

"What did you say?" I ask.

He shakes his head and fans me off. "Oh nothing, love. Would you like some beetroots? He asks.

Regardless of whatever the hell name he's just called me, I look at him amused. "Beetroot? Really? Who do you know that enjoys beetroots?" I ask and he looks confused.

"Everyone".

"Over the age seventy two" I finish his sentence for him "come on, Xyle. You're only twenty seven. Why the hell are you eating stuff like that?" I ask.

"I enjoy them" he says sweetly.

I drop my soft bickering for once. I don't want to shame him for enjoying certain foods, but seriously. Beetroot?

We walk down the isle and I stop at a cooler to grab chicken. I drop it into the kart and look up to see that he has lowered his chin towards the floor and his eyes are locked on my actions.

"What?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Nothing, just observing your choices".

I sigh. "You don't like chicken breasts?" I ask.

"I do".

I cut my eyes away from him. "So why are you being a prick?" I ask, expecting an answer from him. I look back to see that both of his eyebrows are raised.

"A prick?" He questions.

"I'm sorry. A small prick. Why are you being one?".

He nods, holding up a finger as if he can finally understand now that I used the phrase 'small prick'. "I don't mean to be a prick, I'm just being observant, but my apologies your majesty, I could look away if you'd like" he puts on the most monotone voice I've ever heard in my life.

"Now you're being an ass" I inform him.

"S'what I do best. I'm a professional ass. I've won many awards and I plan to get more" he actually puts on a good act and if he were to use different words I'd be convinced he was serious.

"Well you are what you eat" I say before scurrying off to the next isle.

I reach the open isle where there are all types of vegetables. I snatch a bag from its holder and put a few peppers into it.

My body does a very visible hitch when I feel the very familiar burning at my back again but I ignore it to finish what I've come here for. I take another bag and put some broccoli inside and another bag to grab zucchini's. I finish up with it and as I turn around he is lingering behind me, his eyes focused on a eggplant. No more penis jokes. I drop the bags into the kart and his eyes fixate on what I've just done. Instantly, he pulls his phone out and begins to type something up. His brows come together in confusion before he shakes his head and puts his phone back into his pocket.

I don't want him to know that I was watching so when he lifts his head I start walking towards another direction. I pick up a bunch of fruit and drop it into the kart before we reach the isle that makes my face shimmer with happiness.

Wine.

I decide to try something new, reaching for the bottle of Catena Zapata Adrianna Vineyard Fortuna Terrae Malbec 2016. It looks like something exquisite. I put it into the kart and turn as he clears his throat.

I titled my head to the side. "Is there a problem, sir?".

His jaw tenses and he looks away for a small moment. "Don't call me that... and no. I'm just observing" he says, looking away.

His fingers wrap around the handle of the kart lightly and sends a few bold veins to protrude underneath his tanned skin. His shirt clings tightly around his arms, almost making an indentation where it stops. I blink my eyes away and walk down the isle, a question raising in my head.

"How come you never came around all those years?" I ask him, eyeing a bottle of cranberry juice. I make a quick stop and add it into the kart before continuing down the line.

"I kept myself busy so I wouldn't have to be around Caliver" he pushes the kart alongside me and keeps up with my abrupt movements.

His talk about his father saddens me with the way he speaks about him. I feel it's far too deep of a wound to open so I don't bother with that subject. It's not the right place or time.

I peer over at the broken boy and watch as he looks every-where but my face. I don't think he's in the mood to be confronted. His jaw is showing it's muscle. I want to think of something else.

"Is there anything you fear besides the dark?" I whisper, not wanting anyone to overhear my question.

A smile threatens his lips and my subconscious smiles in triumph. He slyly shakes his head, turning his head to face me.

"I am not afraid of the dark, Celeste" he tries to convince me but I don't budge.

I shrug, saying whatever.

"No. There's not really much I'm scared of that's physical" he tells me. I had expected this answer from him since he has such a dark persona. "Is there anything you're afraid of?".

For a moment I'm indecisive about if I want to share it with him. "Bees" I whisper. I'm a bit embarrassed.

"Bees?" He asks and I nod.

"Why are you afraid of bees?" He laughs.

I don't laugh. I look away. He stops mid laughter and clears his throat. "Sorry. Tell me why though, seriously. I want to hear" he presses.

I steer him down the tampon and pad isle. A woman can never have too many menstrual products.

"My father says when I was about three years old I picked one up and it stung me. I don't remember it, of course, but I've been afraid of them for all I've known" I admit. My fear of bees has been engraved in my brain.

"Sad toddler" he murmurs.

My eyebrows knit. What? I reach over and take a box of tampons to set into the kart. He reaches over me and takes a box as well, eyeing the name. I'm not sure why. He puts it back and points to another brand.

"I heard these are the better ones. The grip makes them easier to insert".

I stare at the brand I've gotten for a moment before reaching to grab the other box as well. It hits me. I turn to look at him. "Why the hell do you know that?".

He shrugs. "Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I shouldn't be well informed about a women's body. I buy these for my house just in case someone comes over and begins menstruating" he tells me.

I drop the box into the kart. He probably has another reason for knowing. I don't want to think of it. I continue down the isle and lay my eyes against a box of mini heating pads.

"It's better to make your own with a bag of rice and some fabric" he says.

I groan. "Xyle it's embarrassing that you know more about a woman's cycle than I do and I've been menstruating since age thirteen" I turn to him and he gives me a small smile.

"Just saying, love. You shouldn't have anything that heats up in a split second pressed against your stomach. Especially if the package is this little" he points.

Thanks for the information. I turn away from it. I go down the isle.

"Did you know nine percent of women get pregnant on birth control?" He asks. Again. He knows this why?

"Doesn't matter to me. I'm not on birth control, and I haven't had sex in a few years-"

"So you practice abstinence?" He asks, amused.

I nod, holding up my hand to show him the silver band wrapped around the pointer finger of my right hand.

"I had no clue that ring meant something significant to you. I thought you just enjoyed it. That's actually pretty cool to know that... wait is that why Caesar- he's an asshole" he sounds disgusted.

I giggle internally. Daniel is his name, but I won't correct him.

I nod. "Yes. I guess he was tired of my shit" we exit the isle and I begin to walk towards the registers.

He sighs, thinking for a moment before speaking again. "Did you do other things with him? Or does abstinence include all things sexual?" He asks.

"All things, so if you're asking if I went down on him, the answer is no. Small penises don't get sucked anyways. I'm sure you know" I tease, making him smile again. His smile is so perfect.

He nods. "I do. I know all about having a small penis".

X

"Fuck me, baby"