ʟᴏᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ [ ᴀᴛʟᴀɴᴛᴀ, ɢᴀ ]
ᴘᴏᴠ [ 1ꜱᴛ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ]

𝚁𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎 𝙹𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚜𝚘𝚗
↳ 𝚁𝚊𝚢

"you hungry?" kieve asked me as she poked her head into the room.

"not really." i said in response and shook my head.

"well you gotta eat, so come on cause mama made us somethin." she said and stood in the door frame.

i got up from my bed and we walked down the stairs side by side, every step i took hurt but it was manageable.

"we need a elevator." she mumbled as we made it to the bottom.

"who you tellin," i said and placed my left hand under my shirt to rub my stomach.

"you take the pain killers?" she asked.

"them shit don't work and you know i don't like taking pills." i told her and she nodded.

too many failed suicide attempts made me dislike pills, i came close once to overdosing and the next day i was in the hospital so i stopped taking pills after that for real unless i really needed to.

"hey rayne, you feelin any better?" mama t asked me as me and kieve entered the kitchen.

"not really, but i can manage." i told her and sat down at the island.

"i'll see if marie can give you higher dosage or somethin." she said.

"thank you." i said and nodded to myself.

"you welcome, um ya'll okay with rotel sliders? i used ground turkey for yours rayne since you don't eat beef." she said.

"no fries?" kieve frowned.

"girl you damn near fifteen, make yo own fries." mama t said and placed our plates in front of us.

"but the grease be poppin me." kieve said.

"sounds like a pp, a personal problem na gone girl." i shook my head at their argument and started eating, well i tried to but i just didn't feel like it.

i ripped the slider in half and ate it that way because big portions of anything triggered me a whole lot and i couldn't eat my food if it wasn't sectioned in small portions or cut.

"troy where my controller at, i know yo bald headed ass took it." mr. k said as he walked into the kitchen.

"i ain't bald headed try the next trick and i don't know where it is, you swear i'm supposed ta know where everything of yours is." mama t said and crossed her arms.

"anyways can i have my controller ma'am?" mr. k said and held out his hand.

"i don't have it." mama t said and laughed.

"yous a damm lie." he mushed her head and sat across from me and kieve.

"how ya'll gone eat rotel sliders wit out fries?" he asked and screwed up his lips.

"mama said she wouldn't make them." kieve told him.

"you petty fa that." he said to mama t who flicked him off.

"how i'm petty? if they want fries they can make fries, i had ta make the rotel itself and then i had ta make it into sliders and put it in the oven. you better leave me alone, matter fact i'm goin ta my room don't bother me." mama t left the kitchen and he shrugged.

"imma go bother ha anyways," he mumbled.

"she gone hurt you one a these days mr. k," i said and shook my head.

"shiiii i been waitin on that day fa a long as time." he said.

"ya'll childish, just thought you should know that." kieve said.

"that's how we bond." he said to her.

"i guessssss." me and her said at the same time before laughing.

"ya'll weird, mook where my cheez its?" mr. k said and stood up from his seat.

"under my pillow." she told him and he straight faced her.

"rayne my stuff in thea fa real?" he asked me.

i shook my head, "i don't think so, they was in the pantry last night."

"that's whea they betta be at, lemme find out." he walked into the pantry and came out with three boxes of cheez its in his arms.

"i'm finna go bother ya mama, bye." he left and kieve laughed.

"you know he don't play about them lil squares of heaven." i said.

"it's just funny seein him mad about it." she said and cleaned her hands with a napkin.

"you right."

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"take more." the voice in the back of my head whispered as i swallowed the pain killers and acetaminophen, another pain medication that was best to heal my ribs.

i held the bottle in my hand and my eyes lingered on it for long before they wondered over the old scars along my forearms from when i used to cut.

i stopped like a year ago, so most of it still looked fresh in a way but everything was pretty much healed. my leg shook as a reaction and i threw the pills back in the drawer as i fought myself and walked quickly from the bathroom back to the room.

"rayne, you alright?" mama t asked as i passed by her room.

i stopped and walked back towards the door, i leaned on the door frame before speaking.

"i'm okay." i told her.

"you ain't never been a good liar, come on over here for a minute." she said as her eyes stayed steady on the piece of fabric she was sewing together.

internally i sighed but i walked over anyways and sat down on the futon, i grabbed the pillow and placed it over my stomach and messed with the small strings poking out.

"what's the matter?" she asked me and i shrugged.

"i don't wanna be here anymore." i said and the chatter of the sewing machine stopped slowly before she looked up at me.

"rayne that ain't the way ta think about all this." she said.

"i wanna be able to feel something again, i don't even care if it's another hit. i just wanna be able to feel. i'm tired of being numb, i'm tired of not being able to hold emotion. i just need something that's gone help me feel." i expressed and my eyes moved down to my feet.

"you know what it feels like to wanna kill yourself everyday? i think about death all the time, i used to be afraid of it but now i'm just waiting to feel the feel the tap on my shoulder to let me know i've reached the other side."

"i was so close one time and she made them flush my system just so i could continue to be they little punching bag. she kept me alive for her own selfish personal uses." i said and wiped the tears from my ears.

"i wanna go back to the old me or at least what's left of her because they took most of her away from me and i don't even know who i am anymore." i looked up to stop myself from crying more than i already was but there was no use, i was hurting way too much.

"rayne," she mumbled before getting up and sitting next to me.

she wrapped her arms around me and i held onto her tightly, i wasn't sure if i'd be ready to let go. motherly love was something i had missed and it never came to me as i growing up.

the closest thing i'd get to a i love you or even a simple hug was when my mama would stroke my hair after she'd hit me and tell me how sorry she was before snapping at me again while i was in her clutch, it was all apart of her little game.

"i know what it feels like you know, it ain't the best feelin ta swallow but you gonna overcome everything that's happening or happened ta you. everything you go through now is just ta shape you into somebody great in the future, i know that don't make it right for everything they did ta you but you can't let them win, rayne. takin your own life would only give them more power, you gotta overcome that and rise above them."

"livin ain't for the weak i'll tell you that much, but dyin ain't neither. one day you gone be able ta actually smile without a worry and it's gone feel good because that means you made it. you did it and you've overstepped everything thrown at you. you'll be proud of your victory but until then you keep your head held high and you fight because storms don't last forever." she said and cleaned my face.

"thank you." i mumbled.

"you're welcome, now gimme some love mama." i gave her torso a small squeeze and she kissed my temple before rubbing my back softly.

"you gone be alright." she whispered to me and i nodded in response.

"i'm gonna go and lay down." i told her as i stood up.

"you know where i am if you need me." she said as i walked out.

"yes ma'am." i said.

"oh and rayne," she said making me stop and turn around, "i love you."

i felt my lips curve up into a small smile, "i love you too mama t."

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𝙺𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝙰𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚊 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚐
↳ 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚔

"you mad at me?" i asked bubby who scrunched up his face.

"mad at you fa what?" he asked.

i shrugged, "i don't know, but you ain't talk ta me since rayne got here and i thought i did somethin."

"ma'am i was workin and i had school, ain't nobody mad at you." he said.

"i was just bein dramatic but i had ta make sure." i said and grinned.

"you irk my last lil bit a nerves, anyways whatcha want?" he asked.

"some ice cream." i said while pulling my hair into a ponytail.

"we been over this, you got money." he said.

"but i wanna use yours cause i spent all a mines, you that cheap that you can't buy me some ice cream?" i said and crossed my arms.

"what kinda ice cream you want mook?" he asked and sighed.

"strawberry shortcake please." i said.

"rayne and mama want somethin?" he asked.

"i don't know, but get them somethin anyways. rayne likes cookies and cream and mama eat that nasty rocky road." i said and scrunched up my nose.

"ight i'll be over thea in like fifteen minutes." he said.

"okay, love you bubby!"

"love you too lil girl."

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"mama bubby's here with ice cream!" i called out and took the bag from bubby, "pleasure doin business with you sir."

"girl why you yellin, i'm right here." mama said as we walked into the kitchen.

lijah handed papa a bag before sitting down, "what's that?"

"why must you be so nosey?" papa asked.

"cause i'm yo child." i said and gave rayne and mama they ice cream.

"ouuu you got food, gimme a fry." i said and peeped over his shoulder.

"betta fry yo ass out my face." he said and ate a handful.

"you so stingyyyy." i dragged.

"and you so sickeninnnn." he mocked me before eating a few and giving me the rest.

"want some rayne?" i asked and sat next to her.

"i'm good." she said and ate her ice cream instead.

"anyways finally you stop by," mama said looking at bubby, "you all in love and such."

bubby scrunched up his nose at the l word and she laughed.

"ain't nobody in love." he said.

"i said the same thing, now look," papa told him and titled his head.

"anyways can we move off the topic of my relations." bubby said and made his lips into a straight line.

"boy i just said one little thing, how is santana anyways?" mama asked him.

"she good." bubby said and nodded to himself.

"troy leave that boy be." papa said.

"i'm not doin anything, i just wanna know." she said and frowned.

"if there was anything ta know i'd tell you." bubby told her.

"well that helps some."

"nosey."

"and what?"

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💭 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎
hey lovies, hope ya'll doin alright. today is another triple update so i hope ya'll enjoy and i'll see you in the next chapter💕.

++ how ya'll like rayne's face claim? and who do ya'll wanna see her with😏?