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my head couldn't stop spinning , i went back home and i still couldn't eat or drink . my mother forced me to eat something but i would just end up throwing up afterwards.ย 

My mind was elsewhere , all of the negative thought's swarmed around my head . i couldn't think of anything else except what happened to my father and selim .

No matter how much i was resenting selim he was still the father of my child , i wouldn't want him to be hurt at all . i just wanted them to be safe and that's what i was going to find out today

I was currently sitting down on the couch with my sister and mother and looked at the door

who opened and revealed hasan pasha who rushed towards us .

ยซ Your majesty ยป he bowed down to me and looked at my mother then at my sister . i got up from my seat hurriedly and he could feel my stress .

ยซ Tell us what happened are they fine ? ยป i asked him immediately and he nodded ยซย  Yes your majesty , they are doing fine but ยป

before i could be relieved he added one more sentence ยซ the victory was announced but the army got beaten up very badly that even your father and his majesty sultan selim suffered from serious injuries . but they're doing better , they're currently on their way back to the capital ยป I was sucking in my own breath i couldn't let out a single breath in his entire speech

i immediately hugged my mother and started whispering thank yous to myself , i felt very thankful and happy , confused , sad and every emotion i could ever have was suffocating me .

" You can leave now don't leave the imperial palace empty" i ordered him and he immediately bowed down to me and left us together .

"I knew they would be fine thank god" my mother prayed so many times when she learned about what happened and so did i .

i was very delighted and now i could finally eat in peace and digest , my mother has ordered them to serve my fvaorite dishes which i ate in no time .i was actually shutting down my body and its needs very badly ,i ate a lot since we were now two .

Honestly i was still not believing that i was going to be a mother just not yet , i felt so overwhelmed and stressed during my pregnancy i almost didn't feel it pass by but i decided that i would enjoy it now .

My body was weak as it was and the pregnancy just made it even worse for me , i was growing tired every single day i couldn't do any activity that required a lot of moving . it damaged me so much but i know that one i hold the baby between my arms everything and every struggle i endured would go away .

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My heart was beating fast , after one week they arrived . the whole capital was celebrating their victory and coming back to the capital which stresses me out . i just wanted to see my father and selim who i still don't know what to do with

My father had to stay additional time in the palace before he comes here but in matter of time he came , and there he was standing at the door with his arms opened .

Me and my sister ran towards him but my sister was obviously faster than me , i hugged him tightly and hurried my head in his chest . i missed him so much

"How are my lovely daughters doing i missed you so much" he held up tightly and we just kept nodding after everything he said

"We thought something bad happened to you"akรงa responded and he laughed it off before breaking the hug .

"I promised i would comeback and i did right ?" i nodded and let him walk towards the couch , he sat there comfortably as we all surrounded him .

"How is my grandchild doing ?" he asked me while pointing at my stomach and i smiled .

"He was also upset , i was really worried about you" my dads smile faded away and i could now see the exhaustion in his eyes .

"To be honest , i didn't want to bother you with it but we were very close to die . the boat we were in was attacked and it sinked , luckily we could save ourselves" everyone was shocked after his reveal , it was this severe .

"I'm glad everything went well you must be so exhausted"my mother said while helping him take of his coat , me and my sister stood up at the same time .

" Yes we managed to secure a victory , and you're healthy now it's all what matters" my fathers face showed clear signs of exhaustion and we immediately understood that we had to leave him to rest but as soon as we got up he orders me to follow him .

I was confused but i was understanding maybe he just wanted to talk to me , i followed him to his room and right after i closed the door he looked at me and went to light up his candles .

"So ?" he asked and i raised my eyebrow in confusion " So what ?" i replied .

"So aren't you going to ask me about how selim is ?" i swallowed the lump in my throat and let out a nervous chuckle "why would i ?"

"I'm not telling you this to get you back together but selim was not himself the whole campaign" he sat down not taking his eyes off me "He kept asking me if you sent me anything and i had to keep him updated about you every now and then" .

" I- I don't know what to say about this do you think i should go see him or ?" i was genuinely asking , not going to lie i felt bad that i couldn't forgive him or hug him goodbye before he left but i was trying to get those thoughts out of my head every time .

" You're soon going to give birth what do you think ? you're going to stay here forever ? no" my mother stepped in and i realised she heard everything , she walked past me and joined the conversation.

"He's right , i didn't want to tell you this until we both were present" i looked at them both before i sighed .

" You will eventually give birth at the palace there and they will force you to keep the child there , and you're not ready for separation . it's either you go and forgive him or stay here with a missing child and a missing husband" they sounded so convincing that i started doubting myself again and my thoughts .

they were right and i hated to admit it .

"both of you are right and i've spent months thinking about this maybe it's finally time to move on right?" their faces lit up at the same time and i was there standing with no emotion , it's as if i was not concerned .

" It's still early to go i think i'm leaving today" they both agreed and my mother wanted to come with me but i wanted to go alone .

" I'll leave you to rest now" he nodded and i went to my room , my sister came to me and i told everything that went on she also seemed to agree and told me to do whatever i was comfortable on doing .


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