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πππππππ, πππππππ.
ππππππππ 25, 2018.
"man joseline trippin." spanky said as he rubbed his hand over his face.
"what happened?" i asked, taking a sip from my cup of hot cocoa.
"talkin bout she pregnant. i'm finna break up with her." he said.
i scrunched up my face, "y'all just got back right."
"i don't care. i don't need that negativity in my life." he waved me off.
"so you gon' be a deadbeat?" i raised my eyebrows.
"no. because once i make her my ex that baby my ex too. so technically ian got no kids just like ian got no girlfriend." he said as he typed something on his phone.
"boy shut up." i mumbled. i looked at the time, reading 12:04 am before smiling. "merry christmas boy."
"oh hell naw i know it ain't christmas already. ian even ordered nobody gifts. i'm thinking today the second or sum." he rolled his eyes.
"trifling." i stood up and stretched.
"while we on the topic, you staying here while i go to mom's to open gifts and shit?" he asked me.
i nodded. "i really never wanna see them again."
"you heard from kaiser?" he asked and i shook my head. "you gonna tell him merry christmas?"
"i don't know. can you take me to work later? it's at 10."
"aight. kaiser gon' have to pick you up though. once i get to mama house i cant leave until it's time to go to sleep." he said. "i'll let him know."
$$$
"nova." i looked up from my cash register and saw jayden standing in front of me, loading his things on the conveyor belt. "merry christmas!"
"same to you." i smiled.
"so i was wondering if you wanted to come by the house today? or i could come pick you up. we got you something and there's also a surprise i wanted to tell you about." he said.
"well i get off in the next hour so if you could pick me up that would be perfect. i also bought something for amoura so i'll have to call you after i go home to change and grab her gift." i explained and he nodded.
"just text my phone with the address and i'll be there." he said as i put his stuff in bags and he transferred them to the buggy.
"alright."
after working for the next hour and clocking out shortly after, i texted kaiser to come get me. he responded after a few minutes, letting me know he was outside waiting.
"wassup?" he asked once i got in the car. "how you been?"
"fine." i closed the door and put my seatbelt on, "you?"
"lonely." he laughed. i twisted my lips and sat quietly as he started the car but didn't pull off. "i been meaning to talk to you face to face."
"me too." i sighed.
"look-"
"i apologize for everything." i blurted out before he could finish.
"and i'm sorry for making you feel like you can't trust me enough to not throw shit back in yo' face." he apologized. "on everything i love, i promise you that was never my intentions."
"you didn't do anything but tell me what i needed to hear. i do have a habit of bringing up my past in every situation. i was wrong for making you feel like i can't trust you when you've been nothing but good to me. i was wrong for letting other people's actions and decisions decide how i felt about you as a person, because deep down inside i knew everything i was saying about you that day was not true. i was overwhelmed, i wasn't thinking straight. i'm genuinely sorry." i said.
"you good nova. it's cool." he said.
"no. it's been sitting on my conscience for a while now. i had to take some time to myself to realize that everything i'm always saying people have done to me in the past, i was doing it to you. you're the most genuine person i know and there was no reason for me to make you feel guilty for doing what a real friend is supposed to do." i let a few tears fall. "i had to put myself in your shoes and when i did it, my feelings were hurt for you."
"nova-"
"even though i never showed it, i couldn't wait to somehow run into you again so i could tell you all the things i felt like this wasn't something that should've been done over text. i'm sorry kaiser, from the bottom of my heart. i truly apologize." i cried.
"c'mere lil bit." he leaned over and pulled me into a hug. "you ain't gotta cry. i feel everything you saying. you human you gon' fuck up sometimes. i fucked up too, i shouldn't have went that hard on you. but this something we can both look back on and grow from." he said. "you get me?"
"yes." i dug my face into his neck. "thank you for everything. thank you for never giving up on me. thank you for pushing me to even come this far."
"i gotchu forever. i love you aight?"
"what?"
$$$
merry christmas!!!!!! even tho we at the end of august idc period pooh stank.
this shit was ugly i hate writing lovey dovey shit but i got bored writing about them ignoring each other π.
082821.
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