If only I had known that Reed and I weren't entitled to more time together after our first kiss. I wouldn't change a thing about it, but I would have savored her more. Her little sounds and the way she knew exactly what she wanted and took it from me. I was more turned on than I ever have been before in my life, neither of us got off and still, it was an amazing experience with her.

"Time for lunch after class?" I ask Reed as we pack up our books. Usually, we don't rush, walking out together but Reed seems to be intent on getting out of here in the next ten seconds, so I divert all my attention to her.

"Gotta run. Meeting with the coach. And then I have to do this assignment for physics. Maybe dinner? Unless practice runs late. Maybe tomorrow? Bye!" She blows me a quick kiss and then she's gone. If only we started dating in the summer because it feels like our honeymoon phase has ended before it began.

Sighing, I zip up my bag and walk leisurely to the cafeteria, hoping that Reed at least brought herself a granola bar or something to eat before she goes into a grueling practice later on. I think about bringing something to her while she works on her assignment, but I don't know where she'll be or if it's with a group, so I refrain from sending her a message that'll only distract her.

The burrito I pick out is bland but I eat it anyway, zoning out until it's only the wrapper left in my hand. My thoughts keep me company, most of them hopeful that Reed will soon find a balance that includes me and the rest war over whether or not we'll be able to make this work.

Relationships have always seemed like a job to me when looking at them from the outside, but I knew it wouldn't be like that with Reed. If our schedules lined up the way that they did before all the changes, we would have been perfect. Now, I worry that we'll have enough time to see each other outside of our singular shared class.

I miss my best friend.

Distracting myself with exercise seems like a good coping mechanism, so I make my way to the gym, changing into a uni before starting on my warm-up. I want to climb directly onto the horizontal bar, but I know that it's a mistake without a spotter and I can't reach the nine-foot bar alone, so I start by straining myself on vault.

My hands and feet are covered in chalk and some most likely lingers on my face and hair the more I push myself. I make the mistake of thinking about Reed just as my palms leave the table and though I complete my flips and twists, I somersault backward as soon as my feet touch the mat. The potential for injury is extremely high, especially when alone, so I stop as soon as I make a dumb mistake like that.

I have to shower off the chalk and sweat from my body, making up my mind to at least attempt to find Reed and bring her a proper meal, not wanting my girlfriend to starve, even if I do feel slightly neglected after almost a week of seeing her in class only.

Where are you doing your assignment? No distractions, I promise.

I text her, tacking on the second part in hopes that it'll make her more likely to respond with an actual answer, but ten minutes go by and I don't receive one at all.

For once I have a bit of free time, so I decide to go looking. First, I check all her usual haunts—the library, the coffee shop closest to her dorm, and finally her room. I almost want to get inside and wait for her there, but if she comes home late and tired, I don't want her to feel forced to entertain me. The bag of takeout grows colder as I cart it around with me for over an hour, playing a one-sided game of hide-and-seek.

After checking my phone for what must be the twentieth time, I give up, taking the food back to my own room and putting it in the fridge in case I get hungry later. The prospect of playing video games sounds much less fun alone, and after my unexpected adventure around campus, all I want is to not be alone right now.

Unfortunately, Xander has been spending all of his free time with Charlotte so the room is mine. Though it's only a Tuesday night, I know something has to be happening somewhere on campus, so I reach out to a couple of buddies from either gymnastics, or classes, and get a couple of options for tonight. Thinking about it, I don't think I've been out since Halloween and it's about time I make an appearance.

Getting dressed in a white t-shirt, black jeans, and black boots, I grab a black jacket before heading out to the only bar on campus. Tuesday nights are for trivia, and though the party scene used to be more my thing, I'm also a giant nerd along with most of the people I choose to hang out with. We play to win.

Trivia tends to be catered to our students, so the topics range from college sports to STEM. We have a diverse group tonight, with one student in Poli-Sci, one in Kinesiology and Sports Medicine, one majoring in Music Theory, and then in Art History, we have the girl's friend Lucy who I saw at the door, and finally myself.

Lucy and I take adjacent seats and I order a beer when the server comes around. "So how do you know these losers?" I ask, gesturing to our mutual friends and she smiles, looking over at the girl majoring in Kinesiology, the one that I know the least but always get along with. In fact, Danielle was my usual pong partner at any parties we both went to if Reed wasn't there with me.

"Dani's our therapist's assistant, so she works with the team. I twisted my ankle the other day and here we are."

I nod. "Hey, I'll keep that in mind," I direct to Dani and she raises her beer before taking a sip. The table chats amongst themselves and I fall unusually quiet until the blank answer sheets are passed around to the tables, along with pens and baskets for our phones.

I keep my phone's ringer on in case I get a call or text from Reed but turn it off after the first round because I find myself glancing at my screen too often to check when I think I've heard something. After a few more beers, I start to have more fun and stop checking for replies altogether and every time we win, we get another free round for the table.

Lucy isn't drinking, and I notice her staring a hole into something. When I follow her line of sight, Dani sits across from her with a giant smile, laughing at something someone said. I nudge her. "I don't know if you know this, but it's not a secret that Dani is into girls and guys," Her head whips towards me and I hold my hands up. "Fun fact. Not telling you for any specific reason." She narrows her eyes at me but slumps in defeat.

"I don't think I actually like her. I knew that fact already and wanted to...I don't know, force the subject to see if I'm really..." She trails off and I don't push.

"Does anyone know?"

She shakes her head. "I don't even know."

"Talking about it might help you sort out your feelings though. Not everything that leaves your mouth has to be accurate."

She shrugs. "What are we doing now?"

I smile. "Talking about it."

"You basically volunteered," She teases.

"No objections here. Talk away." I encourage her. Reed has told me a bit about Lucy, but it seems as though even though they are teammates and consider each other friends, she keeps to herself a lot and the rest have a hard time changing that without pushing too hard.

"Don't tell anyone this, but when I first met Charlotte, that's when I started questioning. I never even thought about dating and guys before then, I just knew I was supposed to."

"Nobody is supposed to do anything. But continue," I amend.

"Okay so now all of a sudden there's this girl. Our captain nonetheless," She sighs.

"Don't think too hard. Life isn't trivia, you don't need to have all the answers."

"Ew, that was so cheesy. Never say anything like that ever again or I'll tell Reed," She says and I roll my eyes.

"Go ahead," She'll be too busy to listen. I almost say but I hold my tongue. Reed doesn't deserve my tantrum. She's busy being a student-athlete, and a co-captain. Things that affect her future a hell of a lot more than the boyfriend she has at nineteen years old.

Soccer and her career will always be there in some aspect of her life, but relationships are usually fleeting at this age, and no matter how long I want to stay with her, it's not always up to me. Reed's calling the shots but I just want her to call me.