"Ready?" Charlie asks, but the question isn't directed toward me. Xander stands, gripping her hand as if it'll be the last time that he gets the chance. He might be thinking that could very well happen. I guess it could, but I can't think that way.

"I should be asking you that," he chuckles, taking in a big breath before nodding, squeezing her hand once, and letting her go. The two of us climb into our respective beds and Alexander gives me a nod of his head before he leaves the room to allow the doctors to begin prepping us.

My procedure will be much faster and is far less of a risk, but Charlie's surgery will take place in six days, enough time for them to run the rest of their tests, collect more stem cells from my bone marrow if they need it, and only then, will she actually be in recovery.

Nobody will be able to see her in this time as she'll be getting weaker with the high doses of  radiation and she could get sick, forcing her to postpone her surgery.

If I leave, I won't be able to be with her, so I have my own bed for recovery. Our two beds are too far to reach across, but I do it anyway, wanting her to know that I'm almost within reach. I know that if I open my mouth, my voice will surely crack so I keep it sealed shut with a small reassuring smile.

If all goes well, I'll only need to donate once, the risk is in being under general anesthesia, but it went well the first time, so I'm not worried about doing my part.

"When do Mum and Dad arrive?" Charlie asks, her arm mirroring mine in the space between us.

"Dad couldn't get off work until the day of the operation, so he'll be flying down and he'll be here by the time you get out. Mum will be here tonight." I say, leaving out the part where Xander is picking her up from the airport, making that the first time he'll meet one of our parents. The thought that it'll just be the two of them makes me want to laugh, but I don't want to add one more thing for her to worry about.

I start to worry my bottom lip between my teeth when I look over at Charlie, her face blank and staring at the tv mounted much too close to the ceiling.

As of right now, she's waiting for her first round of standard radiation therapy, but if all goes well in surgery, the high dose of intraoperative  radiation will be all that she needs to kick this for good.

I check my phone and see multiple messages from both of my parents, one from Alexander wishing me luck and confirming my mom's arrival time, three from Lucy, one from Reed, and one from Kieran, and I keep scrolling as if Maddie's name will magically appear.

She knows I'm not scheduled to go in for another few hours. I know I was pushing it when I not only confessed my feelings but also asked her to be my familiar face. Charlie had Xander until he was kicked out of the room, and I had Charlie. But I didn't ask Charlie to be here. If anything, I'd rather neither of us were here, but those weren't the cards we were dealt.

If she had said no when I asked, I would have been disappointed, but I would have understood her hesitance. Instead, I'm stuck here with her "yes" floating around in my head, wondering if she meant it or said it simply to appease me at the moment. Maybe she never planned to show up at all, and had to wait until I was stuck in a hospital bed to—

A knock on the door pulls me out of my declining thoughts and like the hopeless sap I am, I look with anticipation only to see another nurse letting himself in to check on Charlie. When the nurse leaves, I can tell that my sister wants to say something to bridge the silence, but she stops herself.

"What is it?" I ask and she turns to look at me.

"She's not coming?" Charlie asks and I shrug, forcing a smile onto my face.

"She tried, but there was something she couldn't get out of," I lie, not wanting Charlie's opinion of Maddie to lessen even further.

"I'm sure she wanted to be here," She tries to assure me and I nod.

"I know."

After too long, my nurse lets herself into the room and I'm forced to say goodbye to Charlie. She has tears in her eyes as she watches me go, and despite the insistence that I don't, I sit up in my bed as they unlock the wheels and grab hold of her hand.

We don't let go until we have to. "I'll see you later," I say with all the assurance I possibly can. Charlie nods, choked up. She mouths "I love you" before I'm out of the room and I yell it to her from the hallway when I can no longer see her face.

The nurses talk to me softly like I'm an emotional basket case rather than a worried older brother, but I let their calm voices soothe me and we make our way to the operating room.

The procedure itself is relatively harmless for me, with minimal pain and recovery, I've been through it before only this time it will be a little more. More stem cells, more of a process, more risks that come with age. I'll let myself worry when I'm free and clear and it's Charlie's turn. For now, I just need to get this part over with.

We're just about to go through the medical clearance doors so I turn back around, hoping to see that ink-black hair, that beautiful familiar face. All I see are strangers and white walls and when they ask if I'm ready, I lie and say "Yes".