♦ ♦ ♦

I know I'm waking up with a smile on my face because I am waking up in Everett's bed, surrounded by his mouth-watering scent. The kind that has butterflies setting off in my stomach before I'm even fully awake. I've never felt like this before and I'm unsure if it's normal but I'm going with it.

One second there is a smile on my face and the next it's gone because when I open up my eyes, Everett isn't beside me. The duvet on his end of the bed is flicked up and pillows slightly ruffled.

When my lips slip into a frown I realise that the en-suite door is shut and the shower is blasting. I exhale an annoyed sigh at myself and settle back into the sheets, pulling the pillow close to my nose so I can drink in the smell, shamelessly.

Soon the bathroom door is cracked open and I lower my eyes, pretending to be asleep. I'm not sure why but I didn't know what else to do. Through my narrowed eyes, I stare up at Everett as he steps back into the room.

A white towel clung around his hips, droplets covering his unbelievably chiselled body. Muscles on muscles and muscles on those muscles. I have to resist my eyes pinging open to get a better look. Even the damp hair was sending me into a different dimension, why does he have to do this to me in the morning?

He turns around and grips onto his wardrobe door. I analyse his back muscles with every movement, twisting and flexing until I want to lick my tongue over everyone and memorise them with my mind.

Jesus, Reign. Why did I tell him I wanted to take things slow?

I've shot myself in the foot. No. I've fucking cockblocked myself and for what?

All I want to do is jump straight into his arms and allow him to touch me in any way that he wants, I'm sure those hands could be gentle and rough at the same time. I think a patch of saliva gathers in the corner of my mouth as I think about just how he would touch me, devour me.

I squeeze my thighs together because the built up pressure is enough to have me climaxing without even touching myself.

The only reason I said I wanted to take things slow is in case Everett gets bored of me, I don't want him to get used to my body, what I can do. It's easy for men to get bored, they're onto the next thing and we're left wondering why we were never enough in the first place.

When my heart clenches I tell myself to change the subject or I'll be having anxiety outbreaks all day and I don't want to go around stealing things today. I've been trying hard to control my urges and lower my anxiety.

Even Everett has commented on how well I've been doing. That means something to me.

I glance up at Everett as changes into fresh clothes, ones that scream he's out to do some serious business. A part of me wants him to crawl back into bed and stay with me until I decide that I'm hungry but proving to him I'm not overly clingy is important.

Guys don't like girls who are clingy, annoying and desperate.

Respect. You have to respect yourself otherwise they won't value your time.

I remember that. I remember that so clearly.

The bed dips and I snap myself from my mind, Everett raises his hand to graze the edge of my shoulder before slipping strands of hair behind him. "Morning, angel," he says quietly.

My eyes open to look at him because it hurts to pretend to be asleep and I'm eager to see his beautiful face this morning. After what went down last night, I feel different and I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm like an excited teenager who just had their first kill. Fuck, I'm so embarrassing.

"Good morning," I smile back and stretch in the sheets.

"How are you?"

I nod and shuffle in the bed slightly. "Good, you?"

"I'm good thank you," the corners of his lips twitch as he studies my face. "I've got to leave today."

My heart sinks. "Where?"

"Meeting up with other Alpha's in the district," he tells me. "We're re-evaluating and discussing our territory's safety and what we can do to help each other. I'll probably be gone all day."

All day? Ouch. Maybe I am desperate and clingy.

I cringe at myself and shake my head, ridding myself of these idiotic thoughts. "Okay," I nod and force out a smile. "I hope you have a good day."

Everett snorts, raising an eyebrow. "A good day without you? I don't think so."

The comforting warmth that spreads through my veins has me smiling like an idiot but I can't help myself. "Suppose it'll make it all the better when you get back home."

His finger slips underneath my chin and he presses a kiss to my forehead, it's sweet and I feel every ounce of emotion in the action. "Indeed, angel," he mumbles against my skin. "I'm already counting down the hours."

I flick my eyes up to him, lashes touching my brows. Heat spreads to my cheeks but I force myself to ignore them because I know I look like a furnace right now. But Everett doesn't pay attention to my glowing skin, instead he kisses my forehead again. My eyes remain glued to his, staring back with thick bursts of awe.

He studies my expression, tilting his head. "What?"

I want you to stay in bed with me all day and hopefully things might get a little out of control.

My head shakes instead and I force a smile. "Nothing."

"You sure?" His large hand strokes back my hair, cupping the back of my head.

Ugh. Is he torturing me purposely?

"Yes," I rasp.

"Okay," he nods, standing from the bed and I try my hardest not to ogle him with my eyes. "Have a good day. Mindlink me if you need anything, yeah?"

My lips press together and I hum. "Yeah, see you later."

"Bye," he nods once and begins to exit the room. But then he takes one last glance over his shoulder at me before leaving through the door.

When he leaves I huff out a sigh and close my eyes. I already miss his presence and I'm not even sad about it. I've realised now the bond is making me feel this way, the closer we get, the stronger it feels when I'm away from him or when I touch him.

It's only a matter of time before it is completely undeniable. The strength of our bond will outshine anything I've ever thought about mates, I never realised I could feel this way about someone until now. And it scares the shit out of me that we still have mating to go.

How much stronger can it physically get?

After a few moments I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and get dressed. When I head downstairs I'm pleased to see that Fran is in the kitchen with Jesse, they both greet me and I smile.

I perch myself on the end stool and Fran asks if she wants some breakfast, she's already making some. My stomach growls in agreement and I thank her. Jesse seems distracted but I don't ask why, I just listen to Fran waffle on about Everett going away to one of these Alpha meetings and what they do in them.

Personally I didn't ask but maybe she's trying to put myself at ease because I don't know what happens in these meetings.

We sit and eat our breakfast. Fran made eggs and bacon with toast. It's probably my turn to make breakfast next because I haven't even given it a shot, although I don't really know how to cook anything so I might need a recipe or two.

Jesse makes himself scarce after eating and I frown at his sudden exit. "What's the matter with him?" I ask as he heads for the stairs.

Fran shrugs her shoulders and sighs. "We had an argument," she mumbles. "It doesn't matter. How are you?"

"Good," I admit. I have been good, better than I thought I'd ever be. "Still getting there with my emotions and my anxiety but it's progress at least."

"And Everett has been helping?"

My head nods before she even finishes her question. "Yes, most of it is down to him."

"Surely most of it will be down to you," she tilts her head. "Don't give Everett the credit for this. You're the one who is taking his kindness and caring side as a way to help with your anxiety, he's given you the tools. You've used them."

I chew on the inside of my lip as I drink down her words. I guess they're partly true but without Everett I wouldn't be feeling like this so it's definitely the help of a two way effort, and his incredible amount of patience.

"He's very calm with my progress," I say and Fran smiles.

She slides her hands across the marble counter but stops short against my fingers. "You have no idea how pleased Everett is that he has you in his life, he wants nothing more than to make you feel comfortable and loved."

Loved. That stings and not in a good way. Everett doesn't love me. He can't. I don't think I am capable of being loved, what is there to even love?

I groan. If I say the L word one more time I might throw up across the counter and scare Fran into a state of shock.

"How have you been settling in?" She asks.

My lips hum in her direction. "Settling in slowly. Things feel clearer in my mind now that everyone knows that I am Everett's mate."

"They adore Everett so they will adore you too," she raises her shoulders with content. "Even if it takes some time, you want to trust them and they need to trust you. It will take time but they will show you how much they value your efforts in the pack and with their Alpha."

I grab onto the nearest magazine that covers the counter but I don't open it, I play with the corner. "Let's hope so," I say quietly.

"Plans for today?"

"Shower, practice archery, maybe go for a stroll. Wait for Everett to come home." The tone in my voice tells Fran I'm just joking, she chuckles gently anyway and I flash her a smile.

"Classic," she twirls her short hair around her fingers.

When Fran opens her mouth to speak, Jesse loops around the edge of the counter. He looks slightly distressed but he stops short of the kitchen counter. Fran turns her attention to him, straightening her spine.

"I'm sorry," he heaves out and I blink rapidly.

I should probably leave but I am stuck to the stool.

"No," Fran's throat clenches. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that."

Jesse exhales and takes two large steps towards Fran, wrapping his arms around her and smothering her in kisses. "I never want to make you upset again, I'm sorry. For overreacting, I deserved that. I shouldn't be acting like an idiot."

Fran grips onto the back of his neck in a death grip, then they share some deep kisses and a couple of giggles.

You can tell how much they mean to each other. Their love is visible. It's in the air and around the house. I'm happy for them but part of me feels disheartened because deep down I want this too.

I want the stolen kisses and big hugs and a room full of our laughter.

Of course I want that with Everett. I want that security and that comfort. But breaking down my walls to show him all of me is what terrifies me to the bone. I have to show him my heart but I don't want him to see the bad parts of me.

He might hate me when he sees the bad parts. Everything that I've had to do to survive. Maybe he'll hate my naivety. Or maybe he'll accept me for me.

My head pounds with a million different thoughts. Which one is right? I can feel the muscles in my forehead begin to twitch at the impossible question. Nothing is ever simple.

Fran and Jesse continue to laugh with the brightest smiles I've ever seen. I take this opportunity to leave because I don't want to ruin their moment and quite frankly I feel like the biggest third wheel known to man.

I'll give them time to have their make-up session. Even if that means I'll be able to hear them having sex later. That thought has my skin crawling, I should definitely leave the house and practice archery instead.

Get away from them before they make me even more green with envy.

♦ ♦ ♦

It's late into the night, Everett still isn't home and I'm alone in his bed. Twisting and turning, inhaling his scent at any given chance but I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I try, I've been like this for hours and yet I can't sleep.

I know Everett is safe, he mindlinked me just before I told him I was going to bed. He's still out and he'll be back later, but I want him now. I need him now.

I want him in this bed. I want him on my lips. I want him between my legs.

A deep gasp escapes my mouth when I think about him this way. Who have I even turned into?

I've been imagining him topless with his tousled bed hair, that body I've touched but I haven't touched. The body I want to drape my fingers over, covering every inch until I can proudly say that I have touched every patch of his skin.

My eyes squeeze tight because I'll never be able to sleep with these thoughts. Especially without him laying beside me, flicking his fingers across the small of my back and kissing the spot behind my ear.

Come home already. I speak out loud in my mind but I don't direct it to him.

Although I wish I did.

♦ ♦ ♦

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Author's Note

Surprise huns! Merry Christmas and if you don't celebrate, happy holidays🥳

Hello my loves! What did you guys think of this chapter?👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼

Ooooop Reign regrets telling Everett to take things slow, they're so damn cute!

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