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if jungkook thought he was a mess of feelings before, he surely wasn't ready for now.

he tries his best to blink the tears that are threatening to rest on his lower lash line away as he looks at his taehyung and the devil (also called santana) fucking on taehyung's bed.

he feels betrayed, a mix of emotions hitting him like a wave, he feels cheated on but he knows that he shouldn't. him and taehyung aren't together. and they never told each other that they couldn't see other people.

and yet he feels like his heart is lingering in his throat when he tries his best to blink the teardrops away.

he almost feels the need to laugh at himself. he's such a fool, to think that taehuyng could feel something for him too. he's such a fool for falling for his best friend. such a fool for believing that he was more to taehyung. such a fool for believing that it was more than just a game by now.

"jungkook??" tears are definitely clouding his vision now but he quickly blinks them away as soon as he hears his name being called, swallowing hard.

taehyung seems shook to the core, eyes comically wide and mouth wide agape as he sees his best friend standing there while he has ex on top of him. he quickly stops his actions, breath stuck in his throat as he tells santana to leave and to text him later.

she slips into her clothes in a rush and leaves, a smirk playing on her lips as she faces jungkook before she leaves.

the younger boy looks at taehyung, admires him, his chestnut brown hair sticks to his forehead and his chest shines because of the layer of sweat, but before jungkook stares he snaps out of it.

it's quiet for a minute, jungkook just trying his best to ignore the sound of his own heart shattering.

"jungkook-"

"it's okay taehyung. you have nothing to explain. i knew about your feelings for her before, you still love her and that's okay— you cant control what your heart wants after all." jungkook knows that he says these words more for himself than for taehyung.

"feelings?? no kooks, you misunderstood something." taehyung moves closer to jungkook and that's the least he wants, having taehyung even closer, he's scared that taehuyng will notice how wet his eyelashes are.

"god bab- kook, it's really not like that! look, i just want revenge!! i don't want her back, i just want revenge and everything to be normal again." taehyung explains, his hand daring to reach out to touch jungkook's cheek but he stops himself, he shouldn't.

"everything to be normal again?" the younger one asks, tilting his head, brows furrowed.

"yeah, everything — us to be normal again."

confusion is clearly written all over jungkook's face, "what do you mean by that? we are normal?"

"no jungkook, we aren't! it just doesn't feel like you're my best friend anymore... i-it feels like you're my fuck buddy or some shit" the brunet exclaims, clearly growing frustrated.

"so what? we agreed on something, we're only doing this for money and nothing about our friendship has changed so what is your problem?" jungkook tries to not sound disappointed, he really does, but of course he fails.

"something has changed about our friendship jungkook! i feel disgusting, i feel like i'm using you as my sex toy, which you don't deserve at all. we barely talk, jungkook! i come home, we fuck, go to sleep and that's it! and if there's something in the world i would never want to lose then it's our bond, but i really feel like it's breaking because of my stupid actions." taehyung's voice is shaky and it's almost as if jungkook can see his eyes watering which breaks his heart.

"but i agreed to do this! taehyung you don't have any reason to put yourself down, you've done nothing wrong!" jungkook tries to comfort him because it's truly not his fault, jungkook agreed to do this, he agreed to help taehyung to get the money he needs.

"listen, koo. i don't want to lose anything i have with you, your best friendship means the world to me and i just couldn't forgive myself if i break it because of stupid sex. so please, even if it's not good for me, please don't make a huge deal out of me
and santana having sex, i swear i have a plan! i have sex with her, make her fall in love with me again and then i break her heart like she did with me! it's a big win for everyone!" he explains, a not so convincing smile rested on his lips and jungkook really tries his best to swallow the lump that is building in his throat.

best friends. that's all they are and everything they'll ever be.

but even though he feels like he's dying he sends taehyung a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, "sure, big win for everyone."

"i knew you'd understand." taehyung smiles and reaches out to caress the younger ones cheek, to which he closes his eyes.

taehyung's touches are electrifying. they make jungkook melt in an instant.

but before he can let himself melt into taehyung's touch too much he removes his hand, sending him one last forced smile.

"it would be better if you wouldn't do that anymore... we didn't do that when we were 'normal' best friends and you want everything to be normal again, right?" he really doesn't help himself by saying that, and that the bitterness in his voice is so present doesn't help either.

taehyung tries to hide his disappointment and removes his hand, pressing his lips together. "sorry."

"i—i need to go now. see you later uh, best friend. bye."

and that's how jungkook leaves, tears he's been holding in flowing as soon as the door closes with a loud thud.

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i'll have exams for the next month and that without a break omg love life

anyways sorry for the long wait i'll make it up to you when i'm done with my exams !!