⚑️22 - realization⚑️

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it's been a whole day since jungkook found out that he's a crush on taehyung β€” no scratch that, since he accepted that he has a crush on taehyung.

because jungkook isn't dumb. he knows that he's been head over heels for a while. he's just bad at accepting it.

the first time he knew that he felt more than just platonic love for taehyung was when they made out because of that stupid motherfucker who goes by the name sehun.

jungkook enjoyed it so much more than he should have. and even days after, he still thought about it, still felt taehyung's lips lingering on his. but he pushed it to the back of his head and ignored the warm feeling that was spreading itself across his whole body, taehyung's just an excellent kisser, that's it.

the second time jungkook feels that stupid volcano breaking out in his stomach is when they have sex for the first time.

the third time he feels like his stomach transforms itself in a zoo and his cheeks get as hot as fireballs is when they share their first sober kiss. they're sober but he feels so fucking drunk as soon as his lips touch taehyung's.

the fourth time he feels like he forgets how to breathe is when taehyung falls asleep next to him. he just can't look away, it's impossible to do so. he's a fucking angel.

the fifth time is when he feels that knot in his stomach is whenever taehyung compliments him. it's a habit of taehyung, whenever he finds that jungkook looks good, he says it. but that time, it was different. it made heat rise to the younger one's cheeks and made him stutter and that's when he knew it was getting hard to hide whatever was going on with him and his feelings.

the first time he realizes that it's getting too hard to deny that he's totally in love with his best friend is when he sees him cry because of his ex. all he wants to do is kiss him and make him feel more loved than he's ever been and well, he also does.

when kihyun tells jungkook that he's making it obvious that he likes taehyung, he feels his heart stop.

and the first time he finally accepted that he has a huge crush on taehyung was yesterday. maybe it was because he finally found hope that he feeling was mutual, he doesn't know himself.

he knows taehyung was jealous. he also knows that it's because of his "crush".

so maybe taehyung could like jungkook too, right? the thing is, jungkook really isn't planning on confessing anytime soon. he doesn't want to make taehyung uncomfortable or make things weird, he fears a rejection too, fears that he'll lose taehyung and that's the last thing he wants.

it's been a few hours that he's been away from taehyung and he's already craving for him. and it's fucking scary.

jungkook knows that he should stop that shit, go hit on some random girl and try to forget him but feelings aren't something you can control. and you can't delete them either so he's pretty trapped. he's bad at feelings, has always been bad at them. it's because he doesn't understand them β€” doesn't want to.

feelings ruin the fun stuff. they always do, break you, all that kind of shit. jungkook hates feelings. they're his worst enemies, which also explains why he's having a hard time accepting all of this.

insecurities and overthinking don't make this any better either. he suddenly starts to think that taehyung only acted angry or jealous because he realized that he wouldn't be able to fuck jungkook anymore when he would be in a relationship with his crush. but what is even more bullshit is that he seriously starts to think that taehyung doesn't want him for him anymore, but just to win money, which is, of course, utter bullshit.

but jungkook can't stop these thoughts. he wishes he could escape but he can't run away from his own mind.

but what doesn't help either, is when he hears moans coming from his own dorm while he's standing in front of it.

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oMG 300K !1!!1!1!1!1!1!1!
tysm motherfuckers i rlly appreciate every comment & voteπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž

which reminds me : vote or jungkook's gonna fuck a tree in the next chap😠😠😠

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