F O U R

"ugly emotion part two"

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Jake's POV

HE WAS ABSENT. Perhaps his body was sat at his desk, doing paperwork, but his mind was still swinging around the way that Sarah had been acting that day. Her eyes stuck to the ceiling, she... she was beautiful. "I think we're both a wreck," she'd said. Sarah couldn't be more right. Jake did feel like that, like a mess, like a lost child with no path. He had nowhere to go inside his thoughts, they all played with him.

And everything because of what he'd realized. Was he actually in love with Sarah Moore? It was pretty confusing. Was it only because he was hurt about Sophia and needed someone to shelter with? That wasn't a shade he liked. It didn't sound good, it sounded, once again, selfish, and it was terrible in his opinion that Sarah thought he was trying to make her feel better after what she confessed. And he was, but he still felt dirty.

To top it off, though, Sarah was not the same that morning. She had suddenly ran to the records room, leaving there a confused Jake and a perplexed Amy. Jake had only wanted to talk to Sarah... was something wrong with the way he looked? He knew that he'd gotten drunk and didn't shower that morning, but Amy had perfectly been around him. 

"Peralta, Moore," Holt called, stepping out of his office in that inanimated pose of him. Jake and Sarah lifted their heads, both had a distraught gaze. "My office, please."

Jake gulped. What had he done now? He and Sarah stood up and obeyed Holt's order. The captain closed the door behind him, and stood in front of there, silent, as if waiting for one of them to break it.

"So..." said Sarah. Jake knew that it would be her who'd talk first, and smiled to himself.

"I have a case for you two," said the Captain, and closed the blinds. "It is about the murder of a lawyer, a detective from another precinct asked for help in the case and I think that you would be great for the task."

"Thank you," they muttered. 

"Who is the detective?" asked Sarah. 

"I don't believe you know him, Moore, but his name is Daniel James. He is really nice, but he's stuck in the case, so, do you agree?"

Jake nodded firmly, and Sarah hesitated a little when she noticed that he'd accepted. That flooded Jake's head with a thousand more thoughts. She seemed... upset? Or uncomfortable. Whatever it was, what had Jake done to make Sarah not want to be with him? Perhaps he should beg her forgiveness about how selfish he had been, although she wasn't upset before, it must be something he had done earlier that day.

"Yeah, I'm in," she finally said, and Holt placed his hands behind his back.

"Perfect, you're dismissed."

They left Holt's office, and Sarah was about to sit at her desk when Jake took her hand and dragged her to the break room. She complained but he ignored it, they had to talk. He closed the door so no one would listen, he was aware that Charles liked to eavesdrop in Jake's conversations. 

"Why are we here?" Sarah asked, scowling.

"To talk about why you're acting like you're mad at me," said Jake. He said 'like you're mad at me', as if he didn't know that there was something clearly bothering her. "What did I do?"

Sarah scoffed. "Nothing. I'm not mad."

Jake narrowed his eyes. "Then why are you acting like you don't wanna be near me? I saw your face in Captain's Holt office. You were gonna say yes but then you doubted it, didn't you, just because I agreed."

"Well..." Sarah looked away, and Jake sneered, incredulous. "That's not something I can tell you about, but I don't want you to get mad. Please don't be. You finally seemed happy and I'm sorry if I act like a coward."

Coward. That word brought memories to Jake's head. Oliver Freeman pushing him violently against the wall. Sophia watching the scene but doing nothing about it. They were not good memories. 

"You're not acting like a coward," Jake replied. "But I want you to talk to me. That's what friends are for." Just as he said it, he realized that he didn't like the way it sounded. He wanted to be closer to her. Then again, he had been hurt. Maybe that was it, maybe he was in denial. 

"Thanks, Jake," she smiled, crossing her arms, and looked at him. Sarah's hazel eyes glowed, it made Jake's stomach twist, it was a feeling that he couldn't describe. But why? That was the question.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Neither bothered them, on the contrary, they liked being able to be silent in that way. But something interrupted them. They heard someone knock on the door and left the moment. Jake opened to find a Charles who seemed a little upset.

"Hey, bud, what's up?" Jake grinned.

"There's a man at your desk looking for you, he said his name was Daniel James. Why is he looking for you, Jakey? Do you know him? Was he your best friend?"

Jake laughed. "Charles, you don't have to be jealous of every man that I know. Speaking of which I actually I'm about to meet him," he turned to Sarah, who was giggling at Charles's despair. "Let's go," said Jake.

He and Sarah left the break room, completely forgetting that the reason they had entered there was not a good one. They were back to normal, but then they both saw him. Daniel James. Tall, mahogany hair, chocolate brown eyes. He wore a corduroy aviator jacket, and had his hands in his pockets. Jake and Sarah's jaws practically dropped to the ground. His, because for some reason he felt invaded. Hers... maybe she had seen something in Daniel. Jake looked at the way Sarah saw him, and his hands immediately began to open and close, eager.

Ugly emotion were the words that appeared in his head.

Sarah walked over to Jake's desk, where Daniel waited, to greet the detective. Jake followed, ignoring Charles's look. He knew that his friend had perfectly read the situation, he'd done it before. But this was different, Jake not only felt jealous but also distant, in the blink of an eye he felt like the precinct was kilometers away from him, even if he was inside. 

"Daniel James?" asked Sarah, smirking.

Daniel smiled, a wide and perfect grin. "That's me." Damn, even his voice sounded good. Better. Better than Jake. Just like Oliver Freeman. It was another him.

"Great. I'm guessing you're here for the case," said Sarah, and Daniel nodded.

"I am. Should we discuss it? I've got some leads that might help."

"Sounds good, follow me," Sarah looked at Jake and also indicated him to go with them to the briefing room. Before he started walking, Jake looked at Charles for help, and his friend mouthed ugly emotion? Jake nodded and mouthed back, grossed out. Ugly emotion.

Sarah's POV

She breathed easy thanks to the talk she had had with Jake. She was talking to Daniel, who was, as Holt had said, a very good person. But the vibe was interrupted by the negativity of Jake, who, while Sarah and Daniel tried to discuss the case, sat behind, arms crossed and a dead look on his face.

It was difficult to ignore, but Sarah didn't know what was wrong with him. She knew how she'd acted earlier, but... did he actually care that much? No, maybe something else had him like that. Maybe Sarah had only been able to distract him from his break-up only for a night, but things were coming back.

"Jake, wanna help?" she asked, trying to include his best friend.

"Actually..." Jake stood up and took a look of the case files, an eyebrow raised in concentration. Daniel looked at Sarah, and she whispered "This is the way he works." It was true, Jake was no ordinary detective, though this time she wasn't sure that was the reason of why he acted that way.

"Why don't I take the files home and work on the case?" Jake suggested to Daniel, who shrugged.

"If you want to, but if you need help—"

"I don't," Jake snapped. "I don't need any help, I can do it myself," he took all the files from the table and walked over to his desk, without saying anything else. 

Daniel sighed. "Is he always like that?"

Sarah blinked several times. No, she thought, but didn't answer that, she only snapped "He's a good detective," even though that was no answer for the question Daniel had asked. But she was worried about Jake, he had just said that they had to talk and Sarah agreed, but right now their communication was not working. 

She noticed Jake typing with strenght on his keyboard and sighed. She faced Daniel.

"He's not having a good day," said Sarah, and Daniel chuckled. "Should we work on the case tomorrow?"

"Sure," he said. Sarah lead him to the bullpen, and Daniel stopped at Jake's desk. "It was a pleasure," he told Jake, and hesitated to stick his hand out, but Jake only nodded and went back to work. Sarah smiled at Daniel and did shake his hand.

"See you tomorrow," she said. Daniel waved his hand with that flashy smile of his as the elevator doors closed. 

Sarah sat in front of Jake, noticing that he was not doing his paperwork but fidgeting with a pen. 

"Jake," she called him in a whisper. He only lifted his eyebrows in response, but did not talk or even made eye contact with her. "Now who's acting weird?"

"I'm not," he replicated, and left the pen on his desk, typing on his keyboard again, but it was obvious that he wasn't actually writing anything. Sarah turned his computer and saw a blank page with random letters wrote on it.

"yGUhHIhjgGYm," Sarah read, and frowned. "Okay, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I swear," he said, turning back his computer to face it. He started fidgeting with the pen once more, and Sarah rolled her eyes, deciding that was a basket case. She didn't know that part of Jake. He was totally normal before Daniel arrived. Maybe the squad could help, after all, they had known Jake for many years more than Sarah had, especially Gina, Rosa and Amy. Charles would also be helpful, he knew more about Jake than himself. 

Sarah walked into the briefing room and called for a personal meeting. After a few seconds, Gina, Rosa, Amy and Charles were with her, confused.

"Why did you call us in here?" Rosa asked.

"I thought that it was clear in the texts I sent," said Sarah.

Amy got her phone out. "Oh yeah, you put 'Help, Jake is acting weird and I don't know what to do, I need help from you guys, please help me', and then in bold and caps 'HELP'. So, you need help with Jake?"

"The text says it all," Sarah nodded. 

"What is he doing? Does it have to do something with our earlier talk?" asked Gina.

Charles and Amy exchanged looks. "What are you talking about?" Charles questioned. Sarah gave Gina a warning expression.

"Doesn't matter," Rosa said firmly. "What is he doing now?"

Sarah opened her mouth to talk and closed it, but then opened it again. "I guess... you noticed too that he's not been the same since Sophia broke-up with him. I understand that it affected him that much, but yesterday I thought he was already back to normal and this morning he's distant again."

"It's obvious what's going on," said Charles. "He's jealous of that detective that came today."

"You were the jealous one," Sarah giggled, but her laughed was cut by her own thoughts. Why would he be jealous? And why of Daniel? Oh no, Sarah was a terrible friend, why couldn't she notice anything? There she goes, getting mad at herself because of something she did earlier. She was getting tired of that.

Rosa noted the change in Sarah's expression, and scoffed. "Wait, are you mad? Why would you be mad? It's adorable when he's jealous."

Sarah lifted an eyebrow and opened the blinds of the briefing room, letting the others see the bullpen where Jake sat at his desk. He was hitting his computer like Rosa did when she didn't like the results she'd got in buzzfeed tests, shouting and cursing. 

"Does that look adorable?" said Sarah, closing the blinds once they had watched the scene wide-eyed.

"Actually it does," Gina chuckled. 

"But I don't know what to do with it," Sarah muttered. "Should I just wait?"

Amy pressed her lips. "Maybe that's what is right," she rubbed Sarah's shoulder. "It's Jake, I've literally seen him having a pizza for breakfast. He's not rude, he won't stay like that forever."

Sarah thanked them with sadness and left them go. She went to her desk, where Jake still had the same hurting attitude. Did he realize he was annoying her? Maybe it was her fault. But all that war against herself would soon go, she hoped. What she knew was that she would have to remind something to herself often.

It wouldn't stay like that forever.

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