E I G H T

"a twist"

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Sarah's POV

THE ELEVATOR STOPPED. Sarah looked at a confused Jake, who blinked rapidly. She was ready to talk to him and she didn't want to waste any opportunity. Besides, she wanted that one to be their first conversation since the incident in which they wouldn't yell at each other. Things always escalated too fast between them and she was sick of that.

"Why did you—"

"We have to talk," Sarah cut Jake in the middle of his question. He didn't seem well at all. He had showed up to work like that... all messy and clearly hungover, and it made her think that maybe the situation was too much for both of them. 

Jake gulped. "Sure..."

Sarah imitated his position and also leaned onto the wall of the elevator, looking upward to avoid eye contact. 

"Listen," she started firmly, "I know how much you're going through. And I know that it wasn't your fault. Iris... she talked to me and she said it was all hers," she looked at Jake, "and I know I can trust you but I don't know if I can trust her."

"That's..." Jake scoffed. "That's really forward of you. But I don't really understand why you're saying it. I mean... I'm going through something but so are you. You have the right to be mad at me and... well, anything could happen."

"What do you mean?"

"I think we both know it'll be weird."

Sarah pressed her lips. She couldn't deny it. Jake's tone was full of guilt, but for some reason Sarah felt like most of that was her fault. Like she'd been really harsh and he didn't deserve any of that. But then again, the flashing memories... the kiss...

"Look, we can work on it, I know," Jake said, bowing his head. 

"Yeah, we should do that," Sarah agreed absently. 

"But... are you really just gonna forgive me that easily?" 

She sighed deeply. "It wasn't your mistake."

"It was, I'm an idiot. How could I even tell her that we'd meet at the bar? She's my ex! I was supposed just to ignore her and..." he trailed off suddenly.

"And what?"

"I wanted our relationship to go well," Jake stared at Sarah, his eyes seemed so deep, and he spoke softly. "I will never forgive myself for this. I don't deserve that you forgive me either. And as much as I would love a second chance... it just doesn't feel right."

Jake was about to push the button so the elevator would start working again, but Sarah shook her head and took his hand. He seemed surprised, and when she noticed what she'd done, her cheeks burned.

"Um..." Jake separated, nervous.

Sarah awkwardly cleared her throat. "I really wish nothing of this happened."

"Me too." 

"Sorry."

Jake frowned. "Again, why are you apologizing?"

"Because in first place it was me who encouraged you to go to Shaw's with her, rememeber?" Sarah shrugged. "I didn't think anything was going to happen. And when she had the chance to talk to me... I let her manipulate me."

"How come?" 

"She told me a lot of trash about you," Sarah said in almost a whisper. Jake clenched his teeth, but then he rolled his eyes and hung his head back, as though he didn't want to get angry. 

"What did she say?" he tiredly asked.

"Just that you were the same jerk with all the girls you dated and blah-blah. I didn't believe her because I know you're not like that, but she also added that you lied about how you were going to be sincere and that as soon as the squad noted a flaw, you'd break up with them."

Jake didn't respond, he only rubbed his face. 

"I don't know what made me think it was true, but when I saw you two... I really thought I didn't know you," Sarah continued.

"Thank you because you still trust me after all of this," Jake said. 

"Yeah..." Sarah now did power the elevator back on, and as they began to go up again, they didn't talk. She was glad that she didn't feel uncomfortable, but Jake seemed to be a different story. 

She offered him the slightest smile before exiting the elevator, and felt him do the same. When she sat at her desk she saw Rosa coming over and knew what it was for. Probably more talking about how things were going with Jake, which she was tired of, but it turned out she was only there to tell Sarah that the captain wanted to see her. 

Sighing, she obeyed, and as she made her way to Holt's office she saw Rosa mocking Jake because he was hungover. Somehow, she missed that...

Jake's POV

HE SAW SARAH COMING BACK FROM the captain's office, walking over to her desk in front of his. Jake was doing some paperwork lazily and definitely didn't expect Sarah to call for his attention or that she would smile at him. Everything that looked like another step to go back to the ordinary made his heart skip a beat, including her simple smirks. 

"Hey, I wanna talk about this case," Sarah gave him a pile of files which he took and put on his desk, checking them. They were about a recent assassination, the murder of Kyle Thompson. Something inside Jake's head clicked.

Kyle Thompson, Kyle Thompson... for some reason, he remembered discussing that name last night through the phone with somebody, but who was it? He didn't know, he was too drunk at that moment to recognize the voice, but he just remembered laughing and then closing his eyes... 

"So, do you have any new leads?" Sarah asked. Her voice sounded like she had been talking to him for a while now, but he was too busy in his mind and had heard nothing. 

"Um..."

"Have you been working on it?"

"No," Jake mumbled. 

Sarah's shoulders lowered. "Jake... you were the only one working on the case, we've been at it for like a month."

"I know, I know," Jake said, feeling the guilt knotting his throat. She was right, but he had an excuse even if he wans't gonna tell her. The thing was that, when they first began to work on the case they were still dating. And now... well, they were in terrible terms. He hadn't been able to work on anything in his state.

"What do we have in this case?"

"Autopsy results, obviously, and they already checked the crime scene looking for suspects. They got like three but they were already interrogated," Jake said.

"And where were you?"

"Not there..."

"Well, you were supposed to."

"I know," Jake rested his head on his hands, rubbing his face. He felt exhausted and now he had to deal with that. And it wasn't even the first thing in the morning that bothered him, first he'd talked to Sarah in the elevator. It wasn't like she annoyed him, but the tension between them grew bigger with every word they exchanged. 

Besides, when they were talking in the elevator... he almost admitted he was gonna propose to her. And if she found out about that... her reaction could be any. Maybe she'd cry or just be extremely confused, or angry. He didn't know. He didn't wanna know. 

"It doesn't matter, okay?" Sarah leaned on her seat. "Let's just focus on it or Major Crimes will take over it and you know how that ends." 

"Yeah, great idea," Jake rubbed his temples. 

"Are you okay?" Sarah said. She sounded genuinely concerned, it made Jake realize that anything she'd say would make him overthink. Was she worried about him? Did she wanna talk about them? Did he still have a chance? But he knew he also wanted those questions to remain unanswered. 

"I'm alright," he said, standing up, and nodded towards the break room, "gonna grab some coffee." 

Rosa, Amy and Charles talked on the break room, all with a cup of coffee. Charles and Amy offered Jake a smile and Rosa immediately gave him a cup of coffe as well. He had barely glanced at the mirror that morning, but it was obvious he looked terrible. 

"Thanks," he told Rosa, grabbing the cup, and chugged the coffee. 

"How's the day going?" she said. Jake deadpanned at her.

"You know it's the worst," he put the cup down and sat with Charles and Amy, and Rosa imitated him.

"Are things better between you and Sarah?" Amy questioned.

They all talked about him and Sarah's situation as though they had fought over a piece of donut. But it was way worse than that. It was something that would take a lot of time to fix. 

"Well it's not the same," Jake said, feeling a little uncomfortable since all the eyes were on him. Normally he loved attention, but this was different. "I guess... it's never gonna be the same. But we agreed we would work on it."

"Yeah, you can work on it or just tell her that you were gonna p-r-o-p-o-s-e, both might work," Charles said, and it took him a second to realize what he'd done. Jake looked at the others wide-eyed. 

Rosa smiled and Amy clasped her hands against her mouth, as Charles started apologizing.

"That was a secret!" Jake said.

"I know, I know, I know, I'm so so sorry," Charles rambled. 

"You were gonna propose?" Amy hissed, low enough for nobody out of the room to hear. 

Jake nodded. "Yes, but it's totally ruined. When Rosa and Gina told us they were gonna get married I thought it through and... well, I decided I wanted to be with Sarah the rest of my life. But that's never gonna happen now. I don't know what she thinks of me even if it's clear now that it was her who kissed me."

"Don't say it like you guys will never be good again," said Rosa.

"That can happen. It's gonna be weird. It's always weird."

"Yes, but—"

"No, there's nothing we can do about it, I already accepted it and I don't wanna keep just getting drunk because it's disgusting. And also, you all have plans, Rosa you are literally getting married. I have to start a new life, that's all."

No one seemed to agree with Jake. He thought it was a mature decision but when he finally chose to act like an adult his friends were stubborn. 

"No, I can't let this end like that," Charles fimrly said.

"We'll help you," Amy told Jake.

"Guys, I'm telling you, I don't wanna—"

"Jake, please," Rosa put her hands hesitantly on Jake's and held them. He looked down at her hands and then gulped. She scarcely ever touched anyone. "We wanna help you and we need you to agree. Because it's okay to need help. And it's also okay not to be okay. Don't be so hard on yourself and let us try." 

He didn't know what to do. Maybe it would seem forced or it could backfire if they tried to rush it. But he was madly in love with her. He needed Sarah.

"Okay," he gave in, his shoulderd slumping. 

"Great," Charles said. But Jake didn't know what to think about at the moment. All he could do was follow Gina's advice and... hold onto hope.

Sarah's POV

"I'M ALRIGHT, GONNA GRAB some coffee," Jake said, standing up. As he made his way to the break room, Sarah sadly followed him with her eyes and then sighed, drumming on her desk. She thought that her first day back would be worse, at least it wasn't going so bad. She'd been brave enough to talk to him, and she didn't know she was even ready for it.

But seeing him... she didn't know if she felt like home wiht Jake anymore. The last time she did it was with Henry, and it made her feel guilty because it wasn't Jake's fault. Sarah thought that maybe she did deserve all that was happening to her after all. 

The ring of her phone startled her. 

Sarah remembered the night before, when exactly that same thing happened and she got that strange call that made her want to spend the night with someone else instead of alone. But she had just gotten back her apartment, and Jake stayed at his own now. 

"Yes?" she answered, for she recognized the number, yet she knew that her voice must've sounded like she was trembling.

"Hey, girl," Gina said, her tone amused like usual, but stained with hesitation. "Why do you sound like that?"

Sarah closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She remembered the weird voice asking for her, it made her shudder. 

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else," she quikcly said, and before Gina could ask anything she added, "what's up?"

"I'm out to get Rosa's lunch, and since it's your first day I thought you might want something too."

"Oh, no, thanks," Sarah smiled. 

"No problem, girl. See ya."

She hung up, putting her phone down just as Jake sat back in front of her. She pressed her lips, which was the closest to a smile she could give, and he smirked. 

"Where were we with the case?" Jake asked.

"Oh, right, the case, um... maybe we should work on it later."

"Yeah, cool, cool, cool, should I... go to your apartment and we can work on it?" 

Even hearing those words felt off. 'Your apartment', not 'our apartment,' anymore. It was hurtful. 

"Sure, sounds good," Sarah nodded softly. 

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