i sat in my brother's car in pure silence, on the way to school. the only sound being the faint mimic of the radio set on a low volume. my brain was a mess, and i couldn't stop thinking about what louis had said to me earlier today. 

"i don't wanna come off as rude, okay,"

he definitely didn't, by the way.

"but i think, um, julie's a little toxic for you, y/n,"

well shit, i totally didn't know that.

"she's always leaving you out on purpose and she's always so mean to you, don't you see it, y/n?"

i took a deep breath in an attempt to escape my dark thoughts, i looked away from the window, instead leaning on the actual car seat instead of the door. i realized we were already pulling up to the campus, thank god, if we hadn't i'd probably be in tears thinking about what he had mentioned.

"y/n? are you alright?" ryan asked me out of the blue.

"i- um, yeah." i smiled at him, he nodded slowly and got out of the car. i followed, opening the door and crawling out, watching him lock the vehicle doors afterwards. 

"i- i don't wanna tell you what to do, and this is just advice from a third person's perspective and i'm only telling you this because i care about you-"

louis' words, our conversation kept replaying in my head as i walked through the school doors. 

"but i think you should drop julie."

"y/n!" a familiar voice called. way too familiar for that matter.

"hey, y/n!" the same voice called from afar. oh dear god.

i turned my attention where my voice was coming from, but already far too certain it was who i thought it was. in fact, they were the person i wanted to see the least at the moment. 

it was her. julie.

she was walking towards me with a fast pace in her step. 

"hi!" i threw a fake smile at her.

"hey!" she said energetically. "did you get accepted? your audition for stranger things?" 

"oh- uh i-" i reacted. only selected people had known about me getting accepted. the only person i've told from our school was noah. i told him not to tell anyone.

"umm, why?" i asked her. 

"no reason, i just thought i'd ask cause you already auditioned a few months ago?" she replied, really suspiciously for that matter.

"uh, no, i- i didn't." i lied against my morals, i never really lied to people, especially julie since i knew she was really sensitive to that stuff and would be quite upset with me if i did.

yet, i still lied knowing she would probably take advantage of me and my accomplishments. especially after what louis had told me. it was quite concerning how many people in my life told me to be cautious around julie and yet i still stayed by her side no matter what. literally. no matter what. she could ignore me for a year straight and i'd still forgive her dumb ass. 

i was like her damn puppet, she had control over my life because she knows she was able to make me feel guilty about whatever wrongdoing she had done. she knows that i put others in front of myself and she knows that i forgive easily. that's the problem. she knows practically everything about me and that's what gives her power over me. 

but, i mean, she says sorry and apologizes, so it's okay, right?

"what?" she said in quite obvious ingenuine sadness. she definitely knew something.

"yeah uhm- i didn't get accepted." i put on a frown. goddamnit i was chosen to play a role in one of the most popular shows in our generation and yet it felt so hard to pretend in front of my own best friend. 

"are you- sure?" she asked me again. 

"uh yeah, why?" i replied. i swear i could hear my voice got shakier and softer.

"hm, well, what a shame," she said, the frown on her face practically disappearing in half a second. "see you in class, or whatever." 

i slouched in my seat, with my laptop placed in front of me. i had changed into a hoodie and some comfier shorts, my day was already tiring enough at school. 

i checked my email, which i did everyday, it was already part of my routine to do this everyday after i got home from school. i had 4 new emails, one from facebook telling me that my mother had posted some photo. i never used facebook, just had an account for family who did use the app. i still don't know why they sent me emails to update me about everything. 

two from duolingo aggresively telling me to continue my spanish lessons that i had been too lazy to continue. i never bothered to turn duolingo notifications off.

the final one, which caught my eye, being an email from the same email address that informed me my audition was chosen for stranger things. i clicked on it nervously.

"Greetings from the Stranger Things team, Y/n L/n,

We hope this email finds you in good health. We're here to inform you that filming for Season 4 is starting on January 31st of the year 2021. We will be paying for your tickets to Atlanta, Georgia from New York City. This information is confidential and may not be disclosed to anyone.

We have sent you an attachment including the Confidentiality Agreement and Terms and Conditions. Please read through them carefully. 

Best Regards, the Duffer Brothers."  

AUTHORS NOTE

hi hello sorry this wasnt that long im rly unmotivated
but im hoping to read some more and ill probably gain
motivation to continue writing this againnnnnn

OH AND some important piece of advice uve probably heard
before

apology without change is manipulation!!!!!!! as u can see from julie
and y/n's friendship- trust me bc ive learned this the hard way

anyway I HOPE U GUYS HAVE A GOOD DAYYYY