chapter 15 - mind games

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After Kota filled Niylah in on what had happened the past several days—briefly including the current situation with Raven—the girl was finally able to get ahold of the metal wristband. Quickly, she thanked the woman, before making her way over to the group.

"Niylah said we can work in here." She informed them, placing the wristband on the table. "So, how is this going to help us exactly?"

"Well," Sinclair began. "We think Raven wanted to use this wristband to generate an EMP. Which is freakishly brilliant."

"What does that mean?" Clarke was the one to ask, knowing that the only one who probably understood is scientific talk was Monty.

"A targeted electromagnetic pulse could destroy the chip's circuitry. We could use this to send an EMP along Raven's own nervous system. Just need to reverse the polarity, wire for external input and attach of battery." He further explained, leaving Kota more confused than ever.

Being a Grounder meant that technology, and everything that came with it, was something that her knowledge only went so far in. I mean, the most advanced thing her people were familiar with would probably be the flame, but even then, they still didn't fully understand the technological make up behind it. That sole reason was why Dakota just decided to remain quiet and let them figure everything out. She had no idea how they could get that thing out of Raven's head with out killing her in the process.

"Okay, so where do we get an electromagnet?" Clarke asked the engineer, causing him to make a face.

"The Ark." Sinclair sighed, and they all cringed knowingly. "Every station had a pulsed inductive thruster for maneuvering."

Bellamy immediately shook his head. "Arkadia's out of the question. You heard them, it's too dangerous."

"How about we use the dropship?" Monty spoke up, suddenly. "It has PI thrusters just like the Ark."

"Oh, that's good." Sinclair nodded. "Okay, I'll go salvage the magnet."

"Wait, no." The boy quickly stopped him. "You should stay with Raven and figure out how this thing works. I'll take the rover. Be back by the time you finish the device."

"Someone should go with him." Kota stated, making them nod in agreement. "I would, but--"

"I'll go." Octavia volunteered, looking at her assuringly. "You're needed here."

After that, the two of them went to leave the trading post, but before Octavia could walk past, Kota gently grabbed her arm and pulled her aside.

"Please be careful." She whispered, before placing a hand on the brunette's face and quickly pecking her on the forehead.

Octavia smirked, knowing how protective the grounder girl could be. She grabbed Kota's hand that was on her cheek and kissed her palm, lovingly.

"Always." She whispered back, sending her a wink, before they bid farewell.

After she watched them drive off, Kota stepped back inside, walking up to stand by Clarke. However, it was in that moment that they all suddenly heard Jasper yelling for help from the other room. Kota was the first one to run to him, but when she arrived, her eyes instantly widened drastically at the sight in front of her.

Raven had somehow managed to dislocate her shoulder in order to reach the restraints around her wrists, and in the process she had also reopened her wounds, causing thick blood to ooze down her forearms. Clarke and Bellamy arrived next, both showing the same reaction, before all three of them rushed over to the bedside to stop her.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Raven shouted in protest, thrashing around and making it more difficult to pin her body down.

Bellamy and Jasper attempted to grab ahold of her arms as Clarke and Kota struggled with holding onto her legs.

"She's gonna bleed to death!" The blonde cried out. "I need bandages."

"Raven stop fighting us!" Kota shouted, but just as soon as she said that, she was being kicked in the face by the girl's thrashing limbs.

The girl grunted in pain as she stumbled back, clutching her nose. Meanwhile, Jasper called out to ALIE who they knew was the culprit behind Raven's actions.

"I know you can hear us!" He bellowed. "Why are you doing this to her?! Let her go!"

"I'll let her go when you give me what I want." Raven replied, though it wasn't her voice, it was ALIE's. She then looked right at the grounder girl in front of her. "The technology that Dakota carries, it belongs to me."

Kota followed her gaze to find that she was staring at the necklace around her neck, clearly wanting the flame. Immediately, she shook her head and grabbed onto it, tucking it underneath her shirt.

"Over my dead body." She gritted, locking eyes with Clarke, knowing the blonde wouldn't want her to give it up either. After all, the flame held Lexa's spirit. As well as the Commanders before her, of course.

"If you let Raven die," Clarke threatened the A.I. "You'll never get it."

If looks could kill, Raven would have been dead already from the strength of Kota's glare. Fortunately, it seemed as if Clarke's threat worked, because Raven went limp a moment later and finally allowed them to help her. Kota had no idea what was going on inside of Raven's head, given that ALIE was in control of her mind. However, she would be lying if she said she didn't pity the poor girl.

Kota knew exactly what it felt like not to be in control of your own thoughts and actions, because of her time as a Reaper. Of course, the circumstances differed greatly. Raven was currently being controlled by an AI chip, whereas Kota had been under the control of a severe and addicting drug. Still, she really felt for the girl in front of her. They may have had their differences in the past, but Kota still hated seeing good people suffer, and she knew that deep down Raven was indeed a good person. They just met at an unfortunate time.

"She's never gonna stop trying to get away." Bellamy spoke up. "We can't let her hurt herself again. Someone has to stay with her."

Clarke had managed to put Raven's shoulder back into place, before working on rebandaging her wrists. "I'll be first watch. We'll take turns."

At her words, Jasper's head quickly whipped around in anger. "You don't give the orders, Clarke!"

His outburst caused the others to pause from surprise, though Raven smirked as she looked up at Clarke.

"Guess he doesn't forgive you for murdering his girlfriend." She whispered, purposely trying to antagonize them.

"Jasper, take a break." Bellamy ordered, and the distraught boy lingered for a moment longer, before following him out of the room.

Kota sighed and followed the boys, trusting that Clarke could manage without her. Still, she had this uneasy feeling in her gut telling her that bringing up Maya's death was just the beginning of ALIE's tricks. She would stop at nothing to get her hands on the flame, even if it meant hitting a nerve in all of them...

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After some time had passed for Jasper to recollect his thoughts, Kota found herself wondering outside to check on him. She understood his pain and though was good at hiding hers, she still figured the grieving boy should know that he wasn't alone in his suffering. That there was indeed somebody out there who could relate to him in a way. So, Kota took it upon herself to be that person for him in his time of need. What she didn't expect, was to walk out in the middle of Jasper breaking down in a fit of tears.

His figure was hunched over the fence near the entrance of the trading post, and he was breathing heavily in hopes that no one would hear his cries during such a vulnerable moment. That fact alone made Kota wonder if she should approach him, or just let him be. After all, if the roles were reversed, she couldn't say she'd be completely okay with someone just rudely interrupting her private crying session.l either.

However, she ultimately decided on the former because something in her heart was telling her that Jasper needed that comfort. He was surrounded by constant reminders of the pain he felt over Maya, given that Bellamy and Clarke were near, and so Kota felt like he could use the help of someone who was an ongoing victim of Mount Weather too, and not just another person who was plagued with guilt over their part in it's downfall. Most of all, she wanted him to know that he wasn't alone.

"You know," She gently began, causing Jasper to instantly glance at her before straightening up his posture and roughly wiping away at his eyes. "I believe the hardest part of healing after losing someone you love, is to recover the 'you' that went away with them."

Jasper immediately rolled his eyes. "I didn't sign up for some spiritual grounder pep talk, alright? You just lost someone, Kota. Don't act like you know what I'm going through. You have no idea." He spat, already attempting to walk away.

Kota swallowed the lump in her throat that formed as he practically disregarded her pain from the recent losses of both her siblings.

"There's no time limit for grief, Jasper." She muttered, making him stop in his tracks. Slowly, he turned around and met her tearful eyes. "I may have just watched my brother and sister take their last breaths only days ago, but the pain feels like it's been years of ongoing agony. I can't sleep, because I see their faces. I can't even think straight because my mind is plagued with watching them die right in front of my eyes. I look at my hands and still see my sister's blood on them, and everyone I see a gun I can hear my brother's body drop to the ground. Not only that, but I've also lost both my biological parents, and my adoptive parents in the past, and to this day I still think about how I was robbed of having more time with them."

Jasper listened intently, quickly realizing that the way she was describing her pain reminded him of how he felt with Maya. He too, couldn't eat or sleep, and staying sober was out of the question when every little thing reminded him of the girl who stole his heart. Words couldn't describe the painful grief that he was experiencing, because just like the ocean, it came in waves. The type of waves that could wipe your feet out from under you due to how strong their impact was, and would leave you breathless trying to grasp your footing once more. With Jasper, those forceful waves just kept coming. They wouldn't calm down and he was slowly running out of air. The question was, when would Jasper grow exhausted and stop fighting the powerful waves? When would he eventually give up and let the grief consume him?

He wasn't even sure himself.

Suddenly, both Kota and Jasper heard a loud commotion coming from inside. Quickly, they took one last glance at each other before rushing in to see what was wrong. When they reached the back room where Raven was being held, their eyes widened at the sight. Raven herself sat upright on the bed with fresh blood dripping from her mouth this time, as an angered Clarke was being dragged out by Bellamy.

"You're done, ALIE!" The blonde yelled through painful grunts. "Do you hear me?! We're gonna fry you!!"

Bellamy finally got her out of the room, leaving Jasper shaking his head while staring at a smirking Raven.

"What the hell did we miss?" Kota uttered to herself, before following them out of the room.

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Once Bellamy got Clarke to calm down, he was finally able to bandage the fresh wound that Raven made when she bit her. To say that Kota was dumbfounded would be an understatement. I mean, she knew firsthand that when someone wasn't exactly themselves anymore, they could do such awful things. However, she was now understanding that it was completely different witnessing someone commit these horrific acts, instead of being the one doing them yourself. She just knew that from her experience alone, Raven would certainly feel the overwhelming sense of guilt when they finally got ALIE out of her head.

"I let her get to me." Clarke sighed, clearly disappointed in herself.

Kota rested a hand on her shoulder, assuringly. "Why don't you take a break?" She suggested. "I'll take the next watch."

Bellamy looked over at her and frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She dismissed him. "I've dealt with a lot worse than an evil A.I believe it or not. I'll be fine." With that she brushed pass Clarke and the boys, as she made her way back into what was easily compared to the devil's lair.

Raven looked up to the sight of Kota walking in and not sparing her a single glance. Instead, the girl opted for sitting down on the farthest chair from the bed, before looking to the ground in deep thought. The truth was, Kota knew that she shouldn't have came in there on her own. She had already been in such a weak state mentally, so the thought of having ALIE toy with her mind definitely made her on guard, but she knew that she could handle whatever the A.I threw at her. Besides, she'd rather take her chances sitting in that room, then being near Bellamy for another minute.

"Dakota?" Raven spoke up, suddenly, pulling the girl away from her thoughts.

"You're not getting the flame ALIE." She quickly cut her off. "Not even over my dead body."

"No—Kota...it's me." She tried again. "I-it's Raven. I just want to talk."

"Talk?" Kota instantly scoffed in amusement. "Tell me Raven, do you even remember the last time we talked? Hm? I didn't think so, and it's not just because that bitch is in your mind wiping your memories. It's because you and I have never talked. The first and last interaction we ever had was when you had a part in torturing me back at the dropship when Finn was dying and I still have the scars to remind me of it. You never once wanted to speak with me after that, so excuse me if I don't really feel like talking to you now that you actually want to have a little chit-chat."

"I know you're in pain Dakota..." Raven continued, ignoring her words completely. "I can feel it. You're grieving from the loss of your siblings and you're traumatized by all of the incidents that have happened over the course of your life. To make matters worse, you're struggling internally with the thought of becoming the next Commander. Aren't you?"

Kota shook her head, as she held onto her locket. "I know what you're trying to do, ALIE. But you can't get into my head no matter how hard you try. It's over crowded enough as it is and there's no room for you."

"I'm trying to help you." Raven explained. The tone of her voice softened to one of sympathy. "I suffered from similar pains just like you. Loss of my loved ones, fear of failure, overwhelmed with dark thoughts and feelings. I've been there and it sucked. But the city of light can take that pain away from you, Dakota. As soon as I took the chip my mind was free, and all of the pain and agony vanished. Yours could too."

Kota chuckled dryly, as she readjusted her chair to face the girl. "You know, I actually used to admire you, Raven." She stated, matter of factly, unknowingly piquing ALIE's interest.

"After Mount Weather when we had those few short months of relief at Arkadia, not once did we ever talk, but I still had respect for you. It was because even when you could barely walk without feeling pain shoot through your leg, you were still the strong and stubborn Raven that everyone knew you as. Mount Weather made your life hell by having a permanent impact on how you lived, but no matter what, you continued to fight it. You didn't let the pain and trauma get the best of you and I really admired that. But now? Well, you're sitting right here in front of me and I can't even look at you without thinking about how pathetic you really are."

That last statement quickly made Raven furrow her eyebrows, surprised by her boldness and no longer wanting to play nice. ALIE could sense how strong Kota was and that made her both intrigued, yet cautious. She knew she would have to switch up tactics in order to get inside the girl's head.

"You think I'm pathetic?" Raven quirked, before chuckling lowly. "No, I'm pretty sure that title belongs to you." She began her taunting. "After all, you are the girl whose only goal in life was to be something she's not. Isn't that right?"

Kota rolled her eyes, shaking her head in denial, but allowing Raven to continue her insults. It wasn't going to bother her because she was much stronger than that and she knew that she could outwit the AI controlling Raven's mind. Or at least, that's what she would have liked to think.

"Poor little Leila, always wanting to grow up to be a mighty warrior just like her big brother." She pouted, feigning sympathy. "If only her clan would give her the chance to prove herself. Oh wait...they did, and you know what happened? She blew it, and let them all down. I mean, it wasn't really a surprise given the fact that they never had faith in you from the start. You do realize that, right? Your dear sister knew you wouldn't be able to handle one simple assignment but yet, she felt bad for you. So she gave you one easy task and instead of completing it, you chose to fraternize with the enemy, which means you failed. You failed because you're weak and you let some bitch from space come in and ruin everything for you."

That last statement seemed to trigger Kota, and she instantly glared at the brunette sitting on the bed. "Say whatever you want about me, but don't you dare bring Octavia into this." She gritted.

"Oh?" Raven smiled, devilishly. "Looks like we've hit a nerve. Fine. I won't talk about her. Not now at least." She chuckled, before looking up and seeing that Dakota was not amused in the slightest.

"Oh come on, Kota. Lighten up." She sighed dramatically. "You'd think someone like you would learn to have a sense of humor when their whole life has been nothing but a joke. A lame joke really, and it all started the day you were born. I mean, seriously how could you possibly think that you'd grow up to be the hero everybody needs when all you are in people's eyes is one major disappointment?"

Kota found herself fuming from within, though the lump of emotions forming in her throat blocked the anger that she so desperately wanted to release. The girl wanted nothing more than to lash out at Raven, but she was afraid that if she did speak, then her emotions would betray her and let ALIE know that she was succeeding in toying with her mind.

"The truth is, you're a failure and a disappointment and everyone you love always ends up dying."

Kota quickly shook her head. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Actually, I do." She chuckled. "Can't you see? No one actually wants you in their life, and they don't want to be a part of yours." Raven continued pushing the girl to her breaking point. "I wouldn't want to be either since everyone who does ends up dying."

"Stop it..." Kota's broken voice came out in a whisper, as the tears welled up in her eyes. However,