chapter 8 - retribution
[part. I]

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After Clarke and Lexa's meeting came to a close, the blonde made her way back up the steep hill and into the gates of her camp. On each side of her, two warriors on separate horses, accompanied her towards Camp Jaha, where they would remain and wait for Finn to be handed over. Her heart was heavy and her mind was severely clouded, as she joined the rest of the residents who were all gathered around the entrance, waiting for her to return. How could she possibly deliver the news that the only way for a truce, was for Finn to be executed?

She could barely even fathom the thought herself, and now, she would unfortunately have to let the words leave her lips, making the thought actually come into existence. There was no doubt that her heart was breaking with each and every step that she took. She knew that she couldn't let the boy die, especially considering the way that they felt about each other. However, Finn wasn't exactly innocent anymore, and life on the ground has yet to ever go according to plan...

As Clarke walked through the gates, ironically, Finn was the first one to run up to her.

"Are you okay?" He questioned her, but Clarke didn't answer him right away. Instead, she quickly turned around and ordered the guards to shut the gates, before the two warriors standing on the other side could even think about forcing their way in to retrieve the boy.

"You can't be out here." She finally replied to Finn, while grabbing his arm and dragging him away from the exit.

Bellamy noticed the disheartening look on the blonde's face, and followed closely behind while the others in the camp remained fixated on the two threatening men standing outside of their walls. Abby, Raven, and other members of the Ark ran towards them as well, and soon a small crowd formed as they all awaited to hear what had happened during the meeting.

"What did she say?" Her mother questioned her, as they released each other from a greeting hug. "Is there a chance for a truce?"

"Yes." Clarke stated. Her voice only above a whisper, and her face lacking any emotion.

"What's wrong?" Finn asked worriedly, taking notice of her tone and expression.

She turned around slightly, and faced him, looking directly in his eyes. "...They want you." The crowd that was surrounding them, all looked at each other in confusion wondering what exactly that statement meant. "If we want a truce," She continued. "We have to give them Finn."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Raven questioned her.

"That's their offer."

The mechanic scoffed. "That's not an offer."

"Its a punishment." Finn cut in. "For what happened at the village. Blood for blood."

Abby turned to her daughter. "And if we refuse?" She asked, anxiously.

Clarke sighed. "...They attack."

Quiet murmuring was echoing throughout the crowd, before the chatter soon turned into shouting.

"I say we give him up!"

"Get rid of him!"

"Yeah, go on!"

"I'm not dying for him!" One of the men gritted, slowly approaching the group. "That Spacewalker burned three months of oxygen from the Ark. He should have been floated a long time ago. Throw him out."

"Back off!" Raven yelled, shoving the man away.

Her sudden actions caused a small riot to break out amongst the people, which started off with everyone trying to grab Finn, and ended with Raven punching Major Byrne. The mechanic was immediately grabbed from behind by the guards and was ordered to be locked up.

The rest of the residents that were crowded around, were unfortunately left in a chaotic frenzy as Clarke and Bellamy protectively guided Finn into the Ark Station.

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(Dakota's POV)

I was currently resting in the medical bay, with Octavia and my brother standing by my side. They actually haven't moved from my side since we left the drop ship, which was only a few hours ago. I honestly don't know whether I should complain about the lack of space given to me, or just embrace it. After all, it feels like it's been forever since I last saw them, and I missed the warmth and protection in which they both provided for me. However, I still don't completely feel like myself just yet, and I don't want to risk hurting them even more than I already have.

Everyone that I've spoken to has decided to refrain from relinquishing any details to me about what all I did while being influenced by the red drug. I guess it's for the best that I wasn't told the specifics, however, they don't realize that I already know to some extent.

My body ached from the stress of convulsing so many times, and from the wounds that were inflicted by myself and others when I was in the reaper state. That alone proved to me that I had gotten into several fights during my time as a reaper, I just don't know with whom. Nowadays, everybody is sporting a nice sized cut or bruise on their face, and so I'm unfortunately left in the dark as to which ones were put there by me.

When I first woke up, I had a faint taste of metal in my mouth, and the dried up blood that was surrounding my mouth led me to believe that I indulged in some unmentionable acts that instantly made me sick just thinking about. I just want to fall asleep so that I don't have to worry about having these disgusting and horrifying thoughts anymore, but I'm honestly so scared to close my eyes. I'm afraid for what will happen when my mind is shut off once again.

I can still feel the hidden aggression lingering within me, and the ongoing craving for that red liquid that I quickly grew to absolutely despise. I feel so worn out and stressed thinking about what happened to me, and what's still happening to me. I guess I really don't know how to describe what I'm feeling right now. It's just so hard to try and explain what's all going through my head when I don't even understand any of it myself.

Thankfully, Clarke and Abby walked into the room, pulling me away from my agonizing thoughts.

"Hang on." Clarke spoke, upon entering and seeing my current state. "She's not a reaper anymore. She doesn't need to be restrained."

"Yes. I do." I instantly answered her, glancing down at the cuffs that were around my wrists. "I don't trust myself yet..."

The room grew quiet as everyone looked towards me in both pity and sympathy. I tried to avoid their prying eyes, but I just ended up staring helplessly at the ground in nothing but guilt. Yes, I may appear to be my old self, but unfortunately, I don't think I'm anywhere close to being the girl I once was. It just feels like there is some sort of animal or monster inside of me, waiting to break loose at any given minute. It seemed as if Octavia sensed my discomfort, because the next thing I knew, she was grabbing a hold of my hand, causing me to look up at her and squeeze back in acknowledgment.

"Just tell us, is there a way to make peace?" Abby asked, finally allowing the silence to break.

I glanced over at my brother, before responding. "Did she leave riders behind?"

"Two, just outside the gate."

"They're waiting for Finn." I sighed. "You don't have much time to decide."

"She can't expect us to just hand over one of our own people." Octavia said in frustration. "Would she do that?"

"She wouldn't let the rest of her people die to protect a murderer." Lincoln spoke up from the opposite side of me. "If you don't do this, she will kill everyone in this camp."

"There has to be something else we can offer." Abby mentioned, however my brother was quick to respond.

"Finn took eighteen lives. The commander's offering to take just one in return. Take the deal."

"How can you say that?" Clarke scoffed in disbelief. "Finn was the first person to come to Dakota to offer peace. He's your friend."

"He massacred my village." Lincoln argued. "Some of the dead were my friends too."

"But that wasn't Finn. You know that's not who he is--"

"It is now." He cut her off.

It was quiet for a few seconds before I finally decided to speak up again.

"We've all got a monster inside of us, Clarke." I whispered emotionless, while glancing down to my restraints. "And we're all responsible for what it does when we let it out."

"What will they do to him?" Abby asked hesitantly, after a moment.

"Fire." Lincoln sighed. "Because he killed the innocent, it starts with fire."

"Starts?" Clarke questioned him, anxiously.

"They'll take his hands, " My brother continued, sadly looking off into the distance. "His tongue...his eyes. And anyone who grieves will have a turn with the knife. At sunrise, the commander will handle it with her sword but...I've never known anyone to survive until the sword."

I looked up at the blonde, and saw her eyes filled with tears. The sight, as well as our current discussion, made my heart ache with mixed emotions over the whole situation. Words cannot describe how hurt and disappointed I am in Finn and his recent actions, but does that mean I thought he deserved such a gruesome execution? Especially after all the things that I've done recently. I mean, does all the innocent lives that I've taken as a reaper, make me any more better than him? Don't I deserve to be punished as well?

"He killed eighteen." Lincoln said, looking back up at the blonde, with furrowed eyebrows. "He will suffer the pain of eighteen deaths. Then we can have peace."

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(3rd Person POV)

"JUS DREIN, JUS DAUN!"
"JUS DREIN, JUS DAUN!"

The grounders' loud and bellowing chants for 'blood must have blood', were the first thing that Clarke and Abby heard as they exited the Ark Station.

"They're trying to scare us." Bellamy stated angrily, as he stood a few feet away while holding up a gun.

"I think we should pull back and go inside the station." Abby spoke from beside her daughter.

"No." Clarke immediately replied. "We need to prove we're not afraid."

"But what if I am?"

The blonde shrugged. "Fake it."

Abby sighed and nodded at Clarke, before she stepped down and made her way over to the guards. "Open the gate!" She ordered them, and they did just that.

"Where's the boy?" One of the riders on the outside immediately questioned her, as she approached them.

"We're NOT giving him up." The Chancellor replied. "And we're ready to fight, if that's what it comes to."

Just then, a horn was blew in the distance, causing both of the grounders to retreat back to their camp. However, as they left, movement was suddenly noticed coming up the hill from beyond the nearby bushes.

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" The man called out, allowing everyone to instantly realize that he was actually Kane, the former chancellor on the ground. The group was surprised to see him after he never returned back to camp not so long ago. Both he and Jaha were held captive together in Trikru's village, before Lexa decided to release Jaha and keep Kane, since she deemed him as a peacemaker.

"Marcus." Abby greeted the man, while watching him intently. "I was afraid that I wouldn't see you again."

"I had those fears myself." He stated, while looking around the camp. "It's good to see this place again."

"We shouldn't be out in the open." Bellamy cut in on the little reunion. "We need to get somewhere safe."

"Its safe for the moment." Kane assured him. "Come on. We need to talk. I managed to buy us a little bit more time." They all nodded, and followed him back into the Ark Station.

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(Dakota's POV)

"The commander accepted this agreement?" I asked, a bit skeptically.

"No. We haven't made the proposal yet." Kane stated, while trying to refrain from gazing at all of my wounds. "But I think she'd be willing to consider it."

"Dakota, I need to know if we put Finn on trial ourselves, is your commander going to accept the outcome?" Abby questioned me. "Even if we decide that he belongs in jail instead?"

"Even if she wanted to accept this deal, she'd be dead by morning, and she'd know that." Lincoln answered for me.

"Your people would kill their own leader for being merciful?" Octavia exclaimed, causing my brother to shake his head.

"For being weak." He corrected her, harshly. "Finn killed innocent people. If death has no cost, life has no worth. It's how we live."

"I spent time with your commander." Kane explained. "She's a visionary."

"And that's why you're all still alive." I spoke up, causing everyone to turn their attention over to me. "If it were up to some at her table, you wouldn't be."

"Indra." Octavia soon realized.

"She leads those voices, yes." I replied, before looking up at Clarke's mother. "She's dangerous Abby."

"If she's the one that's standing in the way of an agreement," The Chancellor spoke, "Then I need to speak with her face to face."

"There's nothing you can say."

"Maybe not." She responded. "But I can show her that we understand her pain. Maybe that'll be enough."

With that, she left the room and everyone soon followed after her, leaving only Lincoln, Octavia and I left.

"I'm going to get some air." My brother stated, quickly kissing the top of my head before making his leave.

After he was gone, I turned towards the beautiful brunette still in the room with me.

"And then there were two." I joked, as Octavia made her way over and sat by my side. "You know, you don't have to stay here with me all the time. If you need some air as well, I'd understand."

The brunette instantly shook her head at me. "Shut up. You know I'm not going anywhere. I already lost you once, and I'm not letting you out of my sight again. At least not for a very long time." She chuckled at the end.

I couldn't help the grin that slowly made it's way to my face upon finally hearing her melodic laugh again, after what seemed like such a long time. Truth be told, I was beyond happy to have her near me once again. However, I wouldn't have even minded it, if she was just a bit closer. I had desperately wanted to hold her in my arms, but unfortuanetly I couldn't due to the restraints.

Apparently she noticed my saddened expression, because the next thing I knew, she softly placed her hand under my chin, and guided my head to face her.

"What's wrong?" She asked inquisitively, giving me her full attention.

"It's nothing." I replied, dismissively. But she didn't believe me.

"Don't lie to me. You know you can tell me anything."

I sighed. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Like what?"

"Well, for one thing," I began, avoiding her gaze. "It's probably gonna sound pathetic, but I, um, I really want to hold you right now. I just can't because of these stupid restraints." I motioned to my cuffs, and to my surprise, she instantly made a move to unlock them.

"Wait, Octavia!" I quickly stopped her. "I still don't feel like I'm safe enough to be around. I could be dangerous."

She sighed and looked around the room for a moment in thought, before a smirk slowly adorned her face, and she walked closer to the gurney that I was laying on. She wasted no time in crawling on top of me and making herself comfortable by placing her head on my chest, and her arms around my waist.

"What are you doing?" I giggled at her sudden actions.

She chuckled and squeezed me tighter. "Just because you can't hold me, doesn't mean that I can't hold you."

"But—" I paused as I suddenly found myself getting emotional. "Aren't you scared of me? Or the fact that I could still possibly hurt you?" Octavia lifted her head and immediately took notice of the tears forming in my eyes. She placed her warm hands on each side of my face, and gently wiped them away.

She then looked directly into my eyes, and connected her lips to mine, which reignited every single fire that I had left within me. It also released all of the emotions that have been bottled up inside of me ever since they brought me back from the drop ship.

"Is that really how you think I look at you?" Octavia questioned me in disbelief. "Like you're some kind of monster?"

"I am a monster." I stated plainly, being brutally honest with myself. "And I deserve to be put to death by endless torture too, for all that I've done. Just like Finn."

"Don't say things like that." She scolded me. "You cannot compare yourself to him. Dakota, you acted irrationally while under the influence of a drug. Finn acted irrationally only on nothing but an impulse."

Octavia ran her fingers though my hair comfortingly, as she continued. "Besides, you were already tortured enough back at Mount Weather, and for everything that my brother and everybody else put you through when you were first brought to that drop ship. You deserve the complete opposite of endless torture." I looked up at her and saw she had tears of her own forming in her eyes. "Dakota, you deserve every good thing that's left in this world, for all that you've had to survive and endure."

I thought about her words carefully, and they warmed my heart to some extent. However, there's was still this devil-like shadow that kept creeping its way back into my mind and telling me that I'm nothing but this evil monstrosity. It's flooding my head with horrible thoughts, and making my imagination go wild with memories as a reaper that I'm not even sure really happened.

"Did I hurt you?" I suddenly blurted out, worry clearly evident in my tone. It's been on my mind for a while, and I knew that she would be honest with me. I need to know which memories actually happened. I don't want to know about every single person that I hurt, but I just need to know if I harmed her in any way.

Octavia didn't respond right away, but the look on her face told me all that I needed to know.

"I did, didn't I?" I cried. My few sporadic tears quickly turned into quiet sobs, as I realized that what I had feared the most actually came true.

"No. Dakota, listen to me." The brunette requested, as she grabbed my face once more. I couldn't bare to look at her and imagine what I could have possible done. "You did not hurt me."

I gave her a questionable look, as she continued to wipe away my tears. "Your brother told me that when you were in that reaper state, I shouldn't think of it as you, because that's not who you really are. And he's right." She wrapped her arms back around me and held me close as I cried into her chest. "You are not what those bastards at that mountain made you out to be. You're so much more than that. So, yes the monster that they created hurt me, but the idea of the real you kept me going. And I promised myself that I would never give up on trying to get you