☾ Miles ☾

The most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on is beside me in my bed, and it's taking all of the strength I have to not turn around and look at her. 

Even when I think I'm doing something right, I'm doing something wrong. I almost made her fucking cry, and I feel like a piece of shit about it. 

"Miles?" Her soft voice spoke while her hand touched my arm.

Fuck.

I turned around, now facing her in the bed. She looked anxious, worried, and afraid. And I hated it. 

She asked me, "Do you think Gorge wants to hurt me?"

"I don't know what the fuck he's planning," I moved my hand to be on the side of her face, "But I know he's never going to touch you again while I'm alive."

She nodded her head, my words helping her slightly. It was a promise, tomorrow I'm going with Christian and finding the fucking asshole. Every single security guard that was on duty tonight is gonna be fired and replaced by new people who don't miss an entire fucking person in my backyard.

She started to come closer to me when I warned her, "I don't think you should do that."

When I care about somebody, I care with every single nerve in my body. I become protective, dangerous, weak. I don't even care about the fact that I would have a weakness anymore. What I care about, is that I'm the complete opposite of Alissa. If somebody is mean to her or makes me cry I get murderous, which is exactly what she doesn't want to happen. She wants nobody to die, and I couldn't give a fuck if everybody died. As long as it's not her. 

"Miles," She said softly, "You need to stop being so hard on yourself, and let yourself feel happy."

I've told her several times I don't deserve love, and I mean it. I've killed hundreds of people, all of them being somebody that meant something to somebody else. Yet around Alissa, it feels as if my stone heart starts to beat. 

"I'm not good for you," I told her truthfully.

She started to run her fingertips up and down my arm. She thought for a second before saying, "Maybe. But Miles, that doesn't change the way that I feel."

It doesn't change the way I feel either. I stared at her, watching her green eyes scan my face as I could faintly smell her perfume. 

And she's so perfect. I have the perfect girl in front of me, and I'm going to let her slip through my fingers if I keep acting like this.

So I'm going to change so that I don't lose her. 

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. Her warmth made it so that even if our blanket disappeared, I'd still be warm. I held her close to me, my thumb rubbing up and down on her arm.

I'm going to change.

----------

In the morning, I slipped away quietly so Alissa could get more sleep. I put my black clothing on before quietly leaving the room, knocking on Christian door as I walked past it in the hallway.

Once I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard his door open, followed by the sound of footsteps. He crossed his arms while asking me, "How'd he even figure out where you live?"

"Don't fucking know. But what I do know is that I want him dead today," I replied coldly.

He nodded as we got outside, looking at everybody new that was working. Christian asked me, "Every single security guard from last night was fired?"

"Except one," I replied as I watched Bellamy walk up to me.

Even though Bellamy was one of the people on duty last night, I know Alissa likes talking to him. I didn't want to fire somebody she's friends with. He asked me, "What do you need me to do today?"

"Keep guard inside outside of where Alissa is sleeping. If anybody besides Christian or I enter the house, shoot them dead," I ordered him, and he nodded his head in response.

He headed inside and Christian and I got into my car, heading for Nic's house. 

★ Alissa ★

I woke up, doing a long stretch in bed before getting out. I really like Miles' room. 

I walked over to the door, almost jumping out of my skin seeing Bellamy standing on the other side of the door. I held my hand over my heart while he smirked, "Bellamy! What are you doing here?"

"Mr. DiCaprio asked me to stand here and make sure nobody came in. Are you okay, considering yesterday?" He asked me, making me rub my temples.

I nodded, "Yea, Miles told me he's going to deal with it. Right now, I just want breakfast."

He smiled and came downstairs with me, and I offered him a bowl of Lucky Charms but he declined. Bellamy sighed while sitting down, "I guess I have you to thank for still having a job."

"Hm?"

"He fired everybody who was working last night besides me."

My heart warmed. What a kind man. 

I smiled at him, "I would've kicked his ass if he fired you. Besides, I think Gorge is just trying to scare me. Or Miles. I don't even know what his deal is, really."

I let out a cough as I finished my cereal, making me grab a glass of water as I washed my bowl. My nose felt a little congested too, so I grabbed a tissue and blew it. Bellamy asked me, "Are you okay?"

"Yea," I replied before taking a sip of water, "Just sorta feels like a cold."

"Are you sick?"

"I don't think so," I replied while repressing another cough, "Do you want to go sit at the water fountain?"

He nodded so we headed outside, taking a seat on its ledge. I dipped my hand into the warm water and looked around the garden, imagining how pretty it would look with pink tulips.

As I sniffled, Bellamy told me, "You sound like you have a cold. You should go inside and lay in bed."

"I'm fine," I smiled, "Plus, guess what!"

"What?"

"It's almost my birthday. I'll be 22, aren't I getting old?" 

He shook his head, "I'm 27, so what's that make me?"

"Super old," I joked, standing up while smiling.

He rolled his eyes and I coughed again into my elbow. His eyebrows lowered as he suggested again, "You should lay down inside."

Suddenly that sounded too tempting to pass up. I nodded and headed upstairs, going back into Miles' room. The thought of sleeping in mine creeped me out too much, even if Bellamy was outside of my door. 

Bellamy asked me if I wanted him to go get medicine but I told him I didn't need anything. He stood outside of the closed-door while I pulled Miles' warm sheets over me, sniffling as I did so.

I guess I had fallen asleep because the sound of my phone vibrating woke me up. I coughed before yawning, my eyes squinting from the brightness of my phone. I picked up, "Hey Miles!"

I tried to sound cheerful, but I guess it wasn't that convincing because he asked me, "Are you okay? You sound sick."

"I'm not sick, I was just taking a nap," I replied.

He went silent for a second. He spoke again, "Hang on."

He hung up, making me lower my eyebrows. What was that for?

He called me back a minute later. As soon as I picked up he told me, "Bellamy said you're sick. I'm coming home and taking you to the doctor."

"I'm not going to the doctor it's just a cold-" He hung up, cutting my words off.

My mouth formed an 'O' shape as I whispered to myself, "Jerk."

I coughed a few times before laying back down. His pillows are so comfortable. His blankets are so comfortable. His bed is so comfortable. I love his room.

It felt like only 5 minutes had passed before the door opened, Miles entering and sitting down beside me on the bed. I asked, my congestion showing in my voice, "Did you guys find him?"

"Not yet, Christian is still out looking but I left," He answered while putting his hand to my forehead, "You're hot. Come on, I'll take you to the doctor."

"I don't need to go to the doctor over a cold. I'll just take a bath, make some soup, and I'll be fine," I smiled up at him.

"Stay here. I'll make you some," He ordered, pushing himself off of the bed.

Is this man not even worried about catching my cold?

I laid back down, grabbing the TV remote from the nightstand. I put on a random movie, just wanting some light and noise. A little while later, Miles came back while holding a bowl of soup and a small plastic bag, "Sorry I took a while. I also went to the store and got you some Halls."

I sat up as he handed me the bowl of soup and I smiled at him, "Thank you."

He sat down beside me, running his hand through my hair as I started to eat it. I told him, "You might want to be careful around me so that you don't get sick too."

"I don't give a fuck," He responded, not moving his hand.

He watched the TV with me as I ate, putting the empty bowl on my nightstand once I was done. I popped one of the red Halls into my mouth and he asked me, "What day is your birthday? Bellamy told me it's soon."

"In 2 days. Are you gonna get me balloons?" I asked him while sniffling.

"If that's what you want," He replied while getting closer to me, pulling me to lay on his chest.

I tried to pull away after I coughed, not wanting him to get sick, but he pulled me back into him. His hand ran up and down my back while I spoke up, "Thank you for not firing Bellamy."

"Mhm," He replied softly.

A few moments of silence went by before he asked me, "Do you want a party for your birthday?"

My face lit up and I shot up as if he just said the most amazing thing on earth. I asked him nearly in disbelief, "A birthday party?"

He nodded his head, looking at me with confusion covering his face. He asked, "Have you not had one before?"

"Never, but I've always wanted to. The most I've ever done for my birthday is get to go to school that day and Sera would give me a present that I would have to hide from my dad."

Miles' jaw clenched for a moment, but then he quickly relaxed it. While moving some hair out of my face he told me, "Then I'm going to throw you the best fucking birthday party you've ever seen. But you need to rest today and tomorrow so that you aren't sick, okay?"

"Okay! I'm sorry for sleeping in your bed while I have a cold. I just felt a little freaked out about the thought of sleeping in my room," I confessed to him.

He nodded, "Don't apologize. You can sleep in here until Gorge is dead."

His words made me smile as I thought about getting to sleep in his bed every night. His thumb brushed my cheek as he told me, "I'll run a bath for you."

He got out of bed before I could tell him I could do it myself, but then I heard the sound of water running in his bathroom. I put another Halls in my mouth before getting out of bed, entering the bathroom. 

It was nearly full and he told me, "I'll be on the other side of that door if you need anything."

I pressed a kiss against his cheek, "Thank you."

A smile formed on his face before he left the bathroom, and I shut the water off. I pulled my clothes off, submerging myself into the warm water.

This is what it feels like to have somebody that cares about you.