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M I L E S

Maybe I was too harsh.

Maybe I was too rude.

Maybe I hurt her feelings. Shit.

All my life, I have been cruel to people without care. Looking them in their eyes while I killed the person they loved most in the world, simply for disrespecting me. And I never felt bad, I never felt guilt, I never was haunted by the thought of my actions. Yet here I was, feeling guilt for the first time ever in my life because I think I was too mean to Alissa Gomez. The daughter of a man I hate.ย 

"Hello? Are you listening?" Charlotte shook her hand in front of my face, pulling me out of my thoughts. I had almost forgotten she was here.ย 

I let out a sigh, leaning back in my office chair. Alissa's face has been flashing in my mind all day. I haven't spoken to her in a few days, although I have seen her out in the backyard. Sometimes Christian would go out and hang out with her, but I always stayed inside. Away from her. But that doesn't mean I was watching. While she'd run around in the backyard, laughing while chasing the wild rabbits, I would watch her from my room to make sure she didn't hurt herself.ย 

Kissing Alissa was a mistake. I enjoy not caring about anything in the world, that's how I'm able to be so ruthless. Because other people have stuff they care about, but I don't. I have no weaknesses, and that's how it needs to stay. All I did was kiss her, and it was just once, yet she is already distracting me. I don't live how I was living before she was here. I'm watching her, looking out for her, having all her favorite foods cooked at every meal. I was caring. I was caring, and I shouldn't.ย 

"No, I wasn't," I replied truthfully, making her roll her eyes.

She jumped up on my desk so that she was now sitting on it and crossed her legs. My eyebrows lowered and I started, "Get the fuck-"

"My dad says he has a hit for you," she cut me off, twirling some of her brown hair with her index finger.

"Okay. Have him send me the information," I say, itching for a hit so that I could release some anger. I then move my hand in a dismissive motion. "You can go now."

She pursed her lips while playing with her hair before saying, "I should stay for a while."

"Why?"

Her opening her mouth to speak was cut off by my phone ringing. I picked it up the second I saw it was Alissa's dad, "Hey, any updates?"

"Should be about 4 weeks from today. Could be sooner, I don't know. But she's still alive and at your house where nobody could get to her, right?" he asks.ย 

I replied, "Yes. You don't need to worry about your daughter's safety while she's with me."

He laughed, "Good. I can't wait to fucking get rid of her once I'm back."

His words made me freeze, my muscles tightening. There it was again, the mention of him getting rid of her once he was back. I rubbed my jawline while asking, "You guys don't get along?"

"Fuck no. You'd think physical discipline would teach her to not be such a fucking annoying little brat. Whatever, I have to go back to work now. I'll call you again soon," he hung up, leaving me with a burning feeling in my chest.

Physicalย discipline?

I started to think about everything. Her lip, the things he has said about her, the way she talks about him. He couldn't be abusive with her, there was no way somebody could still be as happy as Alissa if they were treated that way. Right?

Charlotte put her hand on the side of my face while leaning forward and whispering, "Forget about your boring phone call. Let me distract you."

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A L I S S A

I sat with my legs crossed in bed, letting the warm breeze from my open window hit my skin. I feel scared of running into Miles every time I go downstairs, but he's always either gone, in his office, or in the gym. His sudden change didn't surprise me, I know who he is, I knew that was a possibility when I kissed him. When I kissed him, I knew that I shouldn't have, but that made me want to do it even more.

I let out a sigh.ย 

I need a girl to talk to about this.

I picked up my phone, calling Seraphina. She picked up almost instantly, "Alissa babe! I've missed your voice so much!"

I smiled at her words, "I miss you, Sera. I hope I can see you soon."

"What's been new with you? The family friend you're staying with has a nice house?" she asked, and for a moment I forgot that I had told her that.

I replied, "Yea. But I actually called to talk to you about him."

"Oh my gosh, Alissa, did you fuck him?" she whispers the last part.ย 

My jaw dropped and I stuttered, "N-no!"

She laughed on the other end, the sound making me smile. She told me, "Okay. Talk to me about it."

I couldn't say anything about the crime that goes on around us, so I was careful with my words. I told her, "Well, I kissed him. And it was really good. But then I did something behind his back a few days ago, and we haven't spoken since. But in all honesty....I kind of miss him, even though he's a complete ass."

"So why don't you just go talk to him?" she asks.ย 

"Because I'm nervous! When the guy's mad he looks absolutely terrifying," I said quietly just in case anybody was in the hallway.

She thought for a second. She finally replied, "Make him some food. The way to a person's heart is through their stomach."

"Sera, I'm a terrible cook," I say.ย 

She laughed, "I know. Just try and bake something then, make him some cookies."

There was a faint sound of a car horn in the background, causing her to say quickly, "I gotta go, Dylans here. Text me what happens!"

She hung up, making me take a deep breath and drop my phone down onto my bed. While standing up I mocked her, "Dylans here."

I pulled a grey zip-up sweater on since I was only in black shorts and a black tank top. I headed downstairs, hearing Miles' voice coming from his office. I walked into the kitchen, looking for everything I'd need to bake cookies. Miles may not seem like he would like cookies on the outside, but on the inside, I know he is just like everybody else. And everybody loves cookies.

It took me a while, but once I had everything ready on the pan, I slipped it into the oven. While I waited I went outside, walking over to where Bellamy is usually standing. It didn't take me long to find him, so I called out to him, "Hey!"

He turned around, giving me a smile, "Hey Alissa. How are you?"

"Been better. Any chance you'd want to swim with me again later? I want to see what the pool looks like once it's dark," I ask.

He shook his head, "Not trying to get my ass yelled at by Mr. DiCaprio. Maybe one time when I'm off duty."

I let out a sigh. I wish Sera could come over.

I nodded, "That's okay, I understand."

I walked back inside, sitting at the kitchen table until the cookies were ready. Once the oven went off I pulled them out, putting them all on a plate. They smell amazing, but I just need to hope they also taste amazing.

I picked up the plate, carrying it to Miles' office. I knocked before entering, but the smile dropped on my face seeing Charolette leaning in to kiss him.

She stopped and turned to look at me, a small smirk forming on her face. I felt sick, although I wasn't sure why. Miles looked at me with an expression where I couldn't tell how he was feeling. I cleared my throat, walking over and setting the plate down on his desk.

I told him quietly, "They might be bad. You can just throw them out if they suck."

"Cookies? What are we, 5?" Charlotte asked as if I just did the stupidest thing ever. And maybe I did.

I ignored her, turning around. Miles said to me, "Wait."

I didn't listen, not meaning to disturb their time together. She is gorgeous, I can't blame him.ย 

I went straight back upstairs, laying back in my bed. For some reason tears burned in my eyes, and I blinked repeatedly to try and fight them.

Putting the covers over my head, I shut my eyes so that they would stop watering. Maybe once I woke up from a nap, all my sadness would be gone. Even though I shouldn't be sad.

I've always known Miles DiCaprio would never be the prince I had wanted my entire life.ย 

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Rubbing my eyes while sitting up, I did feel a little better after my nap. But I still needed something to cheer me up. I got out of bed, grabbing a black bathing suit. From my window, I could see the pool is lit up by the lights, but I still wanted to swim in it for myself.

I grabbed a towel from my bathroom before heading outside, walking over to the water. The night sky was clear and filled with stars, not a cloud in sight. I got into the warm water, thankful that there was a heater.

I swam laps for a little bit before just floating upwards, staring at the stars. Looking at them, I started to think about how small I was in the universe. Those stars in the sky are bigger than me, brighter than me, and will live on longer than me. Maybe there are other people out there too, thinking the same thing as me.

"Stargazing?" I heard Miles speak from behind me.

I stopped floating in the water, turning around and looking at Miles. He stood in full black clothing with his large forearms crossed, but his face had a little bit of softness to it. Something I hadn't seen in days. The sound of crickets is all you can hear as I stare at him, remembering what I had seen earlier today.

"Yes," I replied. "Thinking about writing them a letter."

"Really?" his eyebrows went up, and he took one step closer to me. "And what would you say to them?"

I thought for a second. I shrugged, "I'd tell them about my life. They must be lonely sitting in space by themselves for centuries."

"I'm sure the stars would love to hear about you," he replied in a little bit of a warm tone.

I stared at him for a second, not speaking. The image of him and Charlotte almost kissing felt like it was burned into my mind, although I knew I didn't really have a reason to be upset. He can do whatever he wants.

His question surprised me, "Can I swim with you?"

"Are you sure Charlotte would like that?" I asked, but it basically slipped out. My lips parted instantly after I said that, the logical part of my brain yelling at me.

He replied, "I don't care about what Charlotte likes."

He pulled his shirt off, and I smiled seeing that he had swimming trunks on underneath his black jeans. As he got into the water I said to him, "Could've fooled me."

"I didn't kiss her."

My eyebrows went up and he continued, "I've never kissed her and never will. I don't kiss people very often - the last time I did was years ago. Before you."

His words made my body warm, and the jealousy in my chest was now fully gone. It was silent out here besides for some bugs and our voices. I bit my bottom lip before speaking, "I'm still sorry for the other night. I promise I won't sneak out anymore until my dad comes back."

"I don't want you to feel controlled. I'm just looking out for you," he replied while coming over to be directly in front of me. "How about tomorrow you go and see that friend."

"Really?" I smiled, and he nodded his head. I missed Sera so much.

I jumped up, half of my body out of the water now, wrapping my arms around him in a hug. While hugging him I said cheerfully, "Thank you!"

At first, he didn't hug me back, but right as I went to stop hugging him, his arms wrapped around me. The way his hands felt on my back gave me butterflies, and I bit my bottom lip while smiling.

Once I pulled away I sank back down into the water, but he continued to look at me with a serious expression. He hesitated before saying, "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded my head and he asked, "Can you tell me more about your relationship with your father?"

I bit the inside of my cheek for a moment. My dad has never been a good dad. He's abusive, controlling, doesn't see me as a person. Yet I've never told anybody that, not even Sera.

I told him, "Not great. He's very controlling, so I basically didn't have any freedom. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere but work, unless I was going somewhere that had alcohol I could take home to him. And even when he's on the other side of the world, he's still controlling what I'm doing. I honestly don't even know why he wants me to be here so badly."

He listened attentively to my every word, his dark eyes never leaving mine. When I was done explaining, he spoke, "He sounds like a piece of shit. You're an adult, he shouldn't be treating you as a child."

"I want to go to college so badly, but I just can't afford it," I continued to confess.ย 

"What if I paid for you?"

My eyes widened slightly at his words and I asked, "Why would you do that?"

"Because I think you deserve more than what you've been dealt."

I took his words in for a moment. I'd never let anybody pay tens of thousands of dollars for me to get a degree when I've done nothing to deserve it. He continued, "After he comes back to America, I'll give you enough money to go to any college you want."

"Miles, I can't-"

"Yes you can. And you will," he cut me off, his voice stern.ย 

He continued to stare at me, his eyes looking me up and down. Usually, I'd feel self-conscious about somebody doing that, but under his eyes, I felt like I gained confidence. I could feel the heat of his body radiating off of him as he got closer and closer to me.

And then he kissed me again. Just like last time, his kiss was gentle and minty. I felt like I got weak at his touch, and I put my arms around his neck to keep myself up. His tongue against mine felt like a spark - my heart swelling in my chest. I kissed him again, despite everything I know, not caring about any of it. I smile while I kiss the only boy I've ever kissed.ย 

This is something I would tell the stars about.

Word Count: 2560


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