Chapter takes place at the same time of chapter 28 and Ares' POV of chapter 29.

YouTube is my only way to learn how therapy sessions usually go for patients with PTSD and Nymphomania, so any criticism would be welcomed :)

Don't forget to comment!

I wrote in a haste so there might be grammatical errors. Point them out if you find any.

"Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real."

― Cormac McCarthy,

Vulnerary (adj.): Something that heals

Adrianna's POV:

My fingers trembled as they hovered over the dial pad, the agitation creeping in my veins.

There are times when you doubt yourself. There are times when your morales cloud your judgement and you go for the option that appeals to your morals rather than catering to your logic.

I was having one of those times.

I was doubting myself, yet I knew what would be the most rational thing to do.

My fingers clenched around the phone as the dim light of the screen blinked up at me. The constant thrum of the rain was like a harmonious orchestral play in my ears.

Old Adrianna wouldn't have hesitated, she would have picked up the phone and dialled at the first opportunity, telling him yes.

The new me, however, was the version of me that rose from the ashes like a phoenix spreading its wings, purified by golden flames. I had a different story to tell.

The new Adrianna was hesitating, she was doing something that catered to her feelings rather than her logic.

A breath escaped me as the contact 'Archer' blinked up at me.

Ares did not only shape me into a human being that had begun to think for others, he had also shaped me into something that cared for herself instead of constantly doubting herself.

And now, I was in a clash with myself. A war with my morale and rationality.

Yet, I wanted to be the better version of myself.

My eyes drifted to the window seal, droplets of rain covering my face.

Ares, if I get better, would I be good enough for you? Would I be someone who would not second guess herself?

My eyes followed a droplet of rain that trembled and rolled down the wooden seal.

Ares, if I could be normal would it be finally over?

This was my only chance to get better, my only chance, I think I would ever get. A chance to live without having to face my nightmares. A chance to fight against the destiny that was surely determined for me.

Would I be finally able to accept myself as I am?

Goosebumps arose over my skin. Never in my life had I taken anyone's help. I was always a fighter, I fought and fought and fought.

I chased my destiny until my legs gave up and I couldn't anymore, that was when my demons caught up with me.

Trusting Archer to help me fight this one battle? Yeah, it sounded pretty ridiculous.

My eyes blurred, my shoulders slumped as the clock ticked.

I was always a fighter and I intended to fight my demons and for Ares.

Be it at the cost of my morality, perhaps I was shameless.

The first call was declined immediately. Maybe he was busy.

My eyes trembled, heart throbbed as I looked out at the road in the distance.

Ares was the first fight I wanted to win more than anything else, be it at the cost of my morality.

The second call was made ten minutes later, it was picked up after ringing for 12 seconds.

A battle of morality and rationality was never this easy, but for Ares I would sacrifice my pride. Just this once.

"Archer, does the offer still stand?"

____________________________

A drop of rain fell on my forehead. I grunted at the cool feeling, looking up at the sky. The rain had stopped long ago. I sighed, closing my umbrella.

My mind was a jumbled mess, especially now, as I walked through the sloppy roads. Especially now as I walked to the office of my new therapist.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the prickly feeling that rose in my bones.

Archer was pretty quick to respond, although his voice didn't hold the usual mirth he had.

My fists clenched as the numbing feeling of betraying someone weighed down on me. I betrayed his trust, the only friend I ever managed to make.

My teeth gnawed at my lips as I took a long breath and strode through the solemn road, a breeze of air whooshing past me.

I very much doubted if he could ever forgive me or his brother, but I was more at fault here. I should have been more responsible.

But do I regret it? No. Some faults, although they are not justified, can not be regretted no matter what.

Some mistakes, although ugly, still brought something beautiful along with it.

Was this mistake worth my only friend?

Good grief, Adrianna! Should have thought of it before committing it!

A sigh escaped me as I entered the building.

"Adrianna, thank you for getting back to me," His voice trembled slightly. I couldn't pinpoint whether it was from anger or excitement, "The therapist is a good friend of mine, I will call her and let her know. You can have your very first session today if you wish."

Archer was... off.

"Thank you for this opportunity, Archer," My voice was barely above whisper, "Thank you for-"

"Adri, you don't have to thank me," I barely heard, "It's for you. Dr. Jones is one of the best psychiatrists in the country."

"Archer?"

"Make sure you get better, Adri."

He sounded so glum...

"I am counting on you."

My eyes widened.

Yes Archer was disappointed in me and yes he was angry at me, but he was worried about something else on that call.

What could it be?

"Welcome, Ms. Campbell!" A cheerful voice resonated through the vast chamber, "Archer told me about you."

"I see," I mumbled, taking a seat in front of her. She seemed to be in her late 20s. Dark hair with blue highlights, caramel skin, thin rimmed glasses and a never withering welcoming smile. My eyes caught hers.

In contrast to her friendly demeanor, her eyes were razor sharp, assessing me, trying to read me. I hated it when someone tried to read me. It felt like the roles were reversed.

"I am Dr. Silvia Jones," She extended her hand which I took in a warm handshake, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Adrianna. Can I call you Adrianna?"

I nodded, my eyes drifting to the small engraved board that sat in front of her.

"You are so pretty," I could tell that she was trying to ease me and weirdly, I did feel at ease. My senses became aware of her eyes that focused on me.

"Thank you," I mumbled. She sounded sincere, like she actually wanted to compliment me and it was not done out of vehemence, taunt or menace. Why was I feeling as if I wanted to break down?

It is only a compliment.

I bit my lips, my fists clenching.

Never had someone complimented so.... Nicely.

"I can tell that you want to say something, Adrianna," Her voice was light as if she had no worries about the world. How I envied her, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked up at her, my vulnerability crumbling the wall I had put up around me as a defense.

"You can tell me," Her voice was soft, "Or choose not to. It's up to you. I just want you to know that you don't have to bear this alone."

I gulped, feeling my throat getting dry.

"That compliment... felt nice. No one said that to me ever before."

"Adrianna, I wasn't only complimenting you," Her eyes shone under the fluorescent light of the room, "I was also telling you the truth."

"Thank you."

She gave me a hearty laugh, "You are welcome, dear."

"I-" My fists clenched before she could say anything else, "I... want to talk, it's hard but I-"

"Go ahead," Her voice was soothing, encouraging, "Talk your heart out."

"When I was three, I lost my mother to cancer...." My voice shook as I tried to remember her, her voice only a distant memory, "After her my father was my only guardian..."

Breathe.

I gritted my teeth, my fists turning cold, "I lost him too, in a gruesome accident. I am so unfortunate that-" My voice broke.

"Adrianna-"

"That.. I couldn't even see him one last time before they buried him."

"Breathe, sweetheart. Would you mind if I help you relax?" I shook my head as I followed her instruction. I felt her hand applying pressure on my wrists, an action that eased my nerves immediately.

"I was left alone. I was dumped in a foster home that didn't care about my education or existence. They didn't care, they didn't-"

"Yet you fought through it."

My eyes met hers, they glimmered brilliantly. It was hard to speak, extremely hard. It felt as if my tongue was made of ice, yet it felt light. Oddly light.

"I did?"

"You did a great job, Adrianna," She took out a file from her desk, "Although I couldn't find more about your medical sessions, Archer did help me find your school records."

My eyes widened.

"Straight A's, valedictorian, a girl who single handedly managed to get through MCAT at the age of 19. A girl aiming for John Hopkins and already working in a medical field as an intern."

A breath escaped me.

"Adrianna, I don't know what they told you or the ideas they gave you about yourself," She smiled, "Do you know what I see? I see a beautiful and intelligent girl who never backed down."

Were these the words I had been chasing my whole life?

For someone to tell me I was pretty and intelligent and actually mean it?

"They said I slept with the teacher," I heaved, "They said I didn't deserve it and I- I am one of those dumb bitches who only know how to please men an-"

"Adrianna, they were wrong," She smiled, "They were absolutely, horribly wrong."

My brows clenched, my insides clenching with turmoil.

"I am proud of you, Adrianna."

My heart throbbed painfully in my chest, "For?"

"For standing up, for fighting against them. For breaking the barriers. For surviving. For everything, Adrianna. I am very proud of you."

A drop of tear escaped me.

"Now, now," She smiled and handed me a piece of tissue paper, "Cry as much as you want. Spill as much as you can like. Scream if you feel like it. Let it out, love. You have been bottling them up for too long."

More tears spilled as I looked down, agony tore through me and escaped me in the form of liquid pain. I clenched the tissue paper in my fists as I sobbed.

How fucked up do I have to be to be having a breakdown over something so simple?

"I-I hate this so much,,,," I cursed, "But fuck why does it feel better?"

She only smiled at me.

"I want to stop," I locked my eyes with her, my vision blurring, throat clenching, "I want to live normally, without needing sex like an animal in heat. I want to control myself, I want to stop having those nightmares. I want to be strong."

"You already are strong, Adrianna," She sighed, "Only few are born as warriors. You are a warrior and never doubt that."

A breath escaped me. I felt lighter than ever.

"Adrianna, tell me, when did it start?"

"It started when I was...." My fingers trembled as the words stuck in my throat. It felt as if someone had robbed me off of my speech. I was cold, I was as still as a stone.

The clock ticked as I stared at my entwined hands, my brows clenching.

Why was it so hard? Why was it so hard?

I don't care... I don't-

"It's okay," She threw me another smile, "It was far better than I expected, love. Don't beat yourself. Whenever you wanna share, I am here to listen."

She drew a piece of paper and scribbled on it furiously.

The only sound that rivened through the silence that pertained us was the ticking of the clock. I had no idea how long it had been or if it was only a fragment of a moment.

The question nagged me like a thorn of a rose. Before I could stop myself, I felt myself blurt out,

"Do you think.... It's possible for me to like only one person?"

Her pen faltered over the paper as she looked up at me.

"Of course it is," She gave me a smile that had secrets written all over it, "Wanna tell me about them?"

"He is the reason why I agreed to this in the first place," I whispered.

"What made him stand out?"

"He accepted me and called me 'Beautiful.'"

She threw me another smile as she went back to writing, "Fighting for someone who accepts you is the most mystical battle you can have."

She handed me the paper, her eyes locking with mine, "Adrianna, you would often find yourself at the edge of the cliff. Your roads would narrow down and your options will be limited.

When you find yourself in such a situation, always remember to remind yourself that you are a fighter. Always remember there was a purpose, a purpose for you to climb that cliff in the first place. Find that purpose."

My throat clogged up as I stared up at her. Suddenly, everything felt too nauseating. Emancipating but in a way that made me feel as if I was pried open.

I was not ready for it as of yet.

"Can we... end it here? For now?"

"Of course, dear," She took a deep breath, "Although we still have some time left."

I nodded, feeling relieved.

"Would you like to know more about this session?"

"Yes."

"The psychotherapy I will be going for is CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It will help you find healthier ways to cope with your negative and pessimistic beliefs. You will be able to find strategies that would encourage you to adapt and deal with your urges in a better way."

I nodded.

"We will work this out."

"Thank you."

I locked my eyes with her for one last time. It felt as if a boulder had been lifted off me.

Silvia was pretty good, I had to give it to her.

I felt giddy as I walked out of the building. It felt like a warm hug, like a brighter daydream overshadowing my nightmares.

I clutched my file to my chest as I walked through the muddy road.

Everything would be okay, I had a feeling that it would be.

I would get better and come back for Ares. Be it a couple of months, I would definitely come back for him.

My eyes roamed around the solemn road. Not a single soul.

Perfect.

"Fuck you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, tears blurring my vision, "Fuck all of you that fucked me up!"

Tears streamed down my eyes, teeth clenched as I breathed heavily.

Colors danced with the breeze as I felt my heart palpitating in my ribcage.

"One day you will fly, Anna."

I looked at my father, with wondrous eyes.

"You won't have wings of course, but you will feel like you can fly."

I didn't feel like flying, but I knew that I would be able to.

Soon. Very soon.

I looked up at the sky, the clouds had dispersed. The weather was good.

A smile lit up my face as another drop of tear escaped me.

"That's her!" A loud voice exclaimed.

Before I had a chance to react, something heavy hit the back of my head.

I clutched the back of my head, my knees giving up and eventually hitting the damp concrete. Sharp pain bloomed through my skull as I brought my trembling hand in front me.

Blood.

My vision blurred, eventually melting into the darkness.

😌

So how about Adrianna's vulnerary?

Do you like her development?

Any theory about what's gonna happen?