***TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT, SELF HARM, TRAUMA, DEPRESSION. READER DISCRETION ADVISED.****

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“My name is nobody.”- Homer, The Odyssey

Odyssey (n.)- a long and eventful or adventurous journey or experience.

Adrianna’s POV:

A whisper of a breeze swayed by, tugging at my heartstrings. The bitterness of the blurry memory seeped in, leaving an acidic taste on my tongue. I was transcending, between the snippets of morbid nightmares and ephemerality of the glittery night.

Only silence existed, aside from the sounds of our breathing and the roars of the waves that hit the shore. We let ourselves bask in the prodigious silence.

“Who?” His voice was blank, but I knew he was angry. The vein in his neck, his clenching jaw, tightening fists- he looked ready to hunt.

“The guard of the orphanage.”

“Which orphanage?”

I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling cold all of a sudden. I needed warmth, comfort- so, I scooted closer to him, seeking his assurance.

He didn’t push me away.

“Goldmary Sanctuary.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to-”

“I want to,” Tears brimmed in my eyes, “I want to talk. Now, more than ever.”

The sound of the mellifluous ripples hitting the shore was music to my ears. It gave me a sense of serenity and being with Ares…

“You are safe,” His voice was assuring, soothing. I realized I was quivering.

I sucked in a deep breath, “It started when I slept with this boy. He was 18, I was 16. I got caught, and after that I was labelled as an impure girl, a girl who disrespected herself.”

I closed my eyes, trying to push the surfacing memories back in my mind, “The girls hated me. The women hated me. They called me all sorts of names, constantly reminding me that I was an unnecessary part of the ‘elite’ society. The men humored me the most.”

He remained silent, but it was comforting.

“They acted as if I was filthy in daylight, but in secret, they dropped all sorts of hints that they wanted to sleep with me. For them, I was just a 16 year old girl who was ‘too wild for her age’. For them I was too naive and they could take me to their beds easily.”

I noticed his fingers curling around his walking stick, his face a shade of angry crimson. He looked murderous.

“They were hypocritical,” A tear escaped me, “They touched me. If I confronted them, they would shoot a disgusting smile. A smile that made me want to kill myself.”

“I said no,” I fumbled with my fingers, another lone drop of tear escaping me, “But they didn’t listen.”

I felt an arm around me, wrapping me in the warmth of it. The shard of control I had, snapped as I burst into tears. I thought back to me being a helpless 16 year old girl, with nowhere to go and escape and constantly waiting to end my life.

Calling myself names in front of the mirror and convincing myself that I was supposed to enjoy their touches.

“Every friend I had, turned into backbiting bitches. Revealing my secrets and laughing at me in secret. It was an inferno. I wanted to end it once and for all.”

His fingers tightened around my arm as I smelled his scent. It was so addictive, comforting; it made me want to cry and smile at the same time.

“One night, the guard of the orphanage pulled me into a corner. I woke up to fetch water and suddenly from nowhere, he appeared and grabbed me. I tried to scream-” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “And fight. I couldn’t do anything, I was frozen on the spot as he continued to touch me.”

“It was a reaction of shock. I couldn’t push him away, my limbs felt as if they were made out of ice. Slowly dopamine started to kick in and I tried to convince myself to enjoy it. The only thing that was keeping me from screaming was the fear. I knew if they saw me, they would blame me. They would not be in my favor, but of course, luck can’t be that lenient to me, right?” A bitter chuckle escaped me.

“They found you.”

I closed my eyes, “I laid on the floor, crying. He was halfway through taking off his clothes. That was when mother Larissa found us. My clothes torn open, him, with a predatory smile on his face. It was pretty clear who was at fault but of course, I was the slut. I was the one who was supposed to be the impure, unethical girl. So they blamed me.”

It felt good, good to share with someone. Finally, after all these years, I could tell the story as it was.

Without being blamed on.

Breaking free from the haze that fogged my brain, the tears that brimmed my eyes, the memories that cut my soul and made me bleed. I felt happy to share my pain for once.

“It was humiliating but strangely, my body liked the dopamine rush it had given me. I developed my sexual appetite slowly, before accepting the fact that there was no going back. It was as if my body developed its own psyche, determined to feel pleasure.”

He remained quiet for a moment.

“Did you ever take any steps against them? Even when you were free?”

I shook my head, burying my nose in his shirt. The reminiscence left a bittersweet aftertaste. It awakened my empathic senses, after what seemed to be an eternity.

His embrace warmed me up, his dominating aura cocooning me in safety. It was odd how he could melt me just by a simple gesture.

For a moment, we stayed like that, basking in the warming beauty of the silence and the sounds of the night. It seemed ethereal, almost unreal. I was scared, too scared to even shift or utter anything lest I found out all of it was a beautiful dream.

The sad thing about beautiful dreams is, they always come to an end. Even if it was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.

“You went to the hospital with Archer the other day,” His voice was quiet, “To check my reports I presume?”

My heart thudded loudly in my ribcage. I knew what was coming.

“What did you find?”

“You tell me,” My voice hardened, my grip on his shirt tightened. There was no way he didn’t know. He knew, he very well knew what was wrong with him.

A moment of quiescence ensued, “I beg your pardon?”

I pulled back, cold fear biting my heart. “Ares, you know. Don’t pretend like you don’t goddamnit!”

He hung his head, his grip loosening.

“You are at risk of paralysis,” I whispered, “You knew didn’t you? How long? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

He remained quiet.

“Fucking hell Ares!” Anger burnt my insides as I took him in, “Why? We could have taken extra safety measurements! We could have prescribed you meds and-”

“It wouldn’t be fruitful,” Came his quiet reply, “Do you think I haven’t done anything? I have tried. I have consulted the best fucking docs around the world. They said what I have is spreading.”

My mouth hung open as I stared at him, shell-shocked and not knowing how to process this new information, “But it wasn’t in the repo-”

“Of course it wasn’t,” He mumbled, “I can’t let Archer know.”

“No,” I shook my head, my head spinning. I felt blank, like a hollowed marionette on strings, “It’s just a minor nervous system damage. You can recover, I have seen the amount of damage and all you need is a bone marrow transplant and you’ll be okay-”

“Adrianna-”

“I have studied nerval damages like these,” I was hyperventilating, quivering, my body feeling numb, “Usually they are repairable with some exercises and in worst case scenario a transplant-”

“Adrianna, stop.”

“This can’t happen,” I mumbled, dazed as if I was suddenly transferred into a nightmare, “This can’t happen..”

“Stop.”

My gaze snapped at him. He had a defeated look on his face, as if a soldier who lost a battle.

The cruel irony.

“It’s not a simple nerve damage as you are referring to Adrianna,” A sigh escaped him. Blood pounded in my ears as I took in this imperfect yet picturesque human being.

His distorted flesh almost looked like a painting. Edvard Munch? Botticelli? Michelangelo? No, he was more beautiful than any painting could ever be.

A human who couldn’t see colors, was more captivating that any color could ever be. Fascinating, wasn’t it?

“It is also related to my psychology.”

“What do you mean?” I was afraid to hear the answer.

“I suffer from clinical depression. Along with PTSD. You probably know the last part since it’s recorded.”

A breath escaped me as I stared at him, the numbness that resided inside me slowly spreading to my mouth until I could feel the metallic taste at the tip of my tongue.

I could feel his calm heartbeat on my carapace, “Ares…”

“I don’t require you to give me a ted talk now-”

“I won’t,” A lump formed in my throat.

He relaxed.

“Ares,” I whispered, “Talk to me, please.”

“What if I don’t want to?” His voice was more curious than hostile.

“Then I won’t force you,” I whispered, playing with the hem of his shirt, “But talking helps ease the burden. You won’t feel like a boulder is sitting on your heart anymore.”

He remained silent.

“I want to know the man who saved me,” I chuckled, grasping at the last straw.

When no reply came, a sigh escaped me. Unconsciously, I started making small circles on his arm with my finger, basking in him. It didn’t feel sexual, or romantic. It felt comforting, soothing.

“I feel like I have failed Archer,” He spoke up, his voice beckoning bewitchingly tranquilizing, “I feel like a burden and at times I feel like it would have been better if I died along with them in the accident.”

Simple sentences, heavy meaning. Enough to make my heart twist in excruciating pain.

“Ares, do you know what I told myself every time I got insulted because of having sex?” I threw my head back, letting the misty breeze caress me. The smell of the water was comforting.

He shifted, tilting his head.

“This time I am going to do it for sure. I am going to end my life and everyone will be happy.”

He stiffened, I could feel the tension radiating off him. “You also wanted-”

I let out a coarse breath, “Yes. Several times. Every night. All I wanted was the darkness to consume me and embrace me. I wanted it to hold me as if I was its lover and never wake up."

"Countless times the razor hovered over my wrists but I could never bring myself for it. I couldn’t Ares. Do you know why?”

“Because a death of unfulfillment would be a death of cowardice. I need to satiate my soul, by discovering some mysteries, by proving all those people wrong who called me a ‘good for nothing air headed slut’. I can’t die before fulfilling my purposes.”

“Why are you telling me these, Adrianna?” His voice was soft, almost melancholic.

“Because, I want you to realise that every one of us has a purpose. Just like me, you must have a purpose too. Think about Archer. What of one day he wakes up and finds that his older brother is-'' My voice broke. I couldn’t bring myself to voice it out.

“Gone? He relies on you, he loves you more than himself. He looks up to you. Archer is a part of your world. For him, you are his whole world.”

“You are wrong,” The words were uttered so softly, they were almost inaudible.

“Wrong?”

“Archer is my whole world too.”

“Then are you going to abandon him? Just like that? I once hinted that you might be too much for me to handle and he immediately asked me to quit. Do you realize what you mean to him?”

He remained silent.

“That blade is forbidden for my skin until I discover…” I gulped down the lump with much struggle. Should I tell him? Then again, what reason do I have to hide it? “I discover the truth about my father’s death. I know it hurts, I know you want to scream and break free of that darkness but-”

A drop of tear escaped me as I put my hand over his, grasping his fingers tightly. I didn’t want him to slip as if he were a beautiful dream. I wanted him to be here, “Hold on. A bit longer. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.”

“There’s no light for me.”

“I am sure you will find it,” I smiled, “You are a soldier. You can’t give up so easily Ares. You Have a purpose, you cannot give up, not yet, not now.”

“I can’t tolerate this darkness anymore, Ms. Campbell. It’s suffocating.”

“Just a little bit more,” I breathed, “Just a little bit more. Give yourself another chance, please.”

“I killed my family,” He mumbled quietly.

“It was an accident, Ares. We have no hands in accidents. They can happen anytime, we can’t see them coming. You had no hand in it. Tell me one thing, were you distracted while driving? Or were you drunk?”

“No but-”

“Then it isn’t your fault. Do you understand? You didn’t kill them.”

I was breathing heavily, it felt good to get everything out. I could only hope it affected Ares, even by a little bit.

He remained silent.

A sigh escaped me as I cracked a smile, “Nothing in this world is perfect Ares. We are imperfect in one way or the other. Some of our pasts are tainted, some of us are struggling to survive.

We all live in grey. Not in darkness, neither in light. We live in grey and we have to survive it. It’s up to you, what you choose…”

“Would you rather be unfulfilled and give up or fight until your last breath?”

My answer came in the form of silence.

A heavy sigh escaped me. I expected him to say something, then again, he wasn’t the most talkative person.

“It’s getting late,” I took out my phone and checked the time, 7:20 it read, “We should go back.”

I grabbed my heels and put them on. As I began to stand up, a hand shot up and grabbed my wrist. Before I knew, I was being tugged down.

A breathy gasp escaped me as I felt his warm lips against my cold ones.

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I AM EXTREMELY SORRY FOR THE DELAYED UPDATE 🥺🥺 IT WAS A BUSY WEEK 🥺🥺

any comments on this story would help me to improve myself 🥺 I can gift you a better chapter if you leave an honest criticism.

Thoughts of Adrianna? Ares?

Their broken pieces?