Comment for a bowl of ramen 🍜

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"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Agliophobia (n)- Algophobia or algiophobia is a phobia of pain - an abnormal and persistent fear of pain that is far more powerful than that of a normal person.

Ares' POV:

Once you are emancipated from the phantasmagoria of the so called reality, a little line is left between life and death.

Once you free yourself from the illusion of colors and, mortality, you are left with your soul. A soul you can choose to call immortal or dead.

I preferred the latter one.

Often the void of my mind would revert to the time when I was alive. The time I spent before my death- and it seemed to grow more distant as time went.

I see a man who failed himself, I see a man who died discontented.

I see a weak man who couldn't get himself justice.

I see a man who died a coward, in fear of pain.

I liked to think of myself as dead and with that thinking came in the consequences of it. The deprivation of any pleasures.

They say only the dead has seen the end of the war, yet, I was yet to see mine.

The end of my war or whatever.

As my soul burned in it's own shadow and turned into ashes, I could only witness and stare as I saw the dark fire consumed the me.

I thought my capability of feeling had died along with me. For years, I felt numb, agile, broken- was rid of any feeling that I could call human.

One thing I did feel, anticipation. Anticipation to see my end. How I was killed and if I would ever be able to find out the truth.

I leaned back on my chair, taking a sip from the now cold tea.

My mind was occupied with another person.

Adrianna Campbell.

Her temptation was getting harder to resist as time went by. I almost gave in and succumbed to her sirenic call.

Since that night, her scent ruled my senses. Fuck, I was attracted to her, but I couldn't just give into my urges and sleep with her.

She didn't know what she was doing to me.

When my PA identified my nurse dancing like there's no tomorrow. Something inside me snapped. I was reminded of how she was almost assaulted two weeks ago.

An unknown sensation crawled within me, a feeling I hadn't felt in nearly a decade.

Fear.

One might think what would a blind man fear? He lost everything a person could possibly loose.

Her cries rung in my ears, like a broken tape. They were filled with horror, pain, fear, gore. Everything a person fears.

She was begging, crying, sobbing, wailing- all while trying to escape.

And it was a sound I never wanted to hear again.

That day, I had a glimpse of the little girl that hid underneath her strong exterior.

She wore her confidence like a shield to protect herself and when that shield crumbled, all I saw was her shadow that was aching to be liberated.

It was a moment I didn't wish to go back to. A moment that would leave a scar in my mind, permanently.

Fear fueled my anger and hatred- towards those who was hurting her. A sense of responsibility fueled me, yet the fear lingered.

And that lingering fear blossomed as I was notified than Adrianna happened to be present in a floor full of horny, drunk men who could-

But why was this fear?

Why did I fear?

Dead cannot feel.

Was it because I saw her as a responsibility?

I was torn with myself. I knew our relationship of employee-employer ended the moment she confessed that she wanted to fuck me.

And it crumbled a bit more when I decided to-

A sigh of agitation escaped me.

I didn't know what came over me, maybe it was a momentous thing, an ephemeral. Maybe I could forget it, or so I thought.

The softness of her skin still lingered on my palm, I remembered the chaos that unfurled within me because of her kiss.

I shook my head.

I shouldn't feel about her this way. She was my caregiver, someone who was far younger than me and a girl who was most likely to regret her actions later. I had to be the responsible one and avoid her.

If only that little minx knew of the affect she had on me, if only she knew all I wanted to do was to bend her and fuck her raw-

"Brother," Archer's voice resonated through the room, making me snap out of it, "May I come in?"

"You don't have to ask," I sighed as I kept the cup down, facing the door.

"I wanted to let you know the results of the trial.." Archer mumbled, the sound of his footsteps resonating loudly through the room as he came closer.

"I was about to call you regarding that," I straightened as he took a seat in front of me.

"I am wearing a black shirt today, and black pants," He muttered quietly, "The court apologized for the delay." The sound of paper shuffling was heard as I felt something being clasped into my hand.

I frowned as I began to run my fingers over the coarse dots of the paper.

"Your assumptions were right brother," his voice was rigid, malicious even as he tried out the words as if they were toxins, "Something was wrong with your car that day."

I raised an eyebrow as the reports became clearer.

"Problem in oil tank?" I frowned as the snippets of images from that night began to cloud my memories.

"Yes," He nodded, "You did the right thing by demanding an investigation."

"Did they explain why was it belated?" I mumbled, concentrating on the braille.

"Nope, they just apologized," a sigh escaped me. Of course they wouldn't explain, I was the unfortunate blind heir, someone who wouldn't benefit them in anyway.

"Brother, uh, I wanted to ask something."

"Go ahead."

"Do you still have those nightmares?"

The question was quiet, inaudible almost. I knew he wasn't comfortable asking it, my nightmares were his too and it haunted us for a very long time.

"I do."

The palpitation of my heart was frantic, the sound of it was almost deafening to my ears. The images now screamed, all I heard was a loud horn, a spark of yellow and then....

Everything was white.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Archer mumbled quietly.

My fingers loosened their grip from the papers. The tip of my toes were as cold as rain.

"I hear their screams..." My voice was foreign, even to my ears, "The shards of glasses, the glaring red and blue of police cars. Dad and Liam-" I couldn't speak anymore.

Pain knotted in my throat. It was relieving to speak about it, but it was agonizing.

I wanted to share, but at the same time I didn't.

Their screams haunted me till this day. I remembered how terrified my dad's scream was, I was only numb. All I remembered was the nanosecond of shock and the lingering feeling of horror before there were no colors.

Within moments, all that was colorful, of my world, was pitch black. I was floating in an abyss of nothing, numbness.

The day of my death.

Maybe after the initial shock, I took a glance at Liam's blood drenched body, maybe, I saw dad's unanimated body through the blur of my eyes.

His mouth hanging open, his eyes wide, blood seeping into his sclera, the gore of mortality engraved into them.

I remember the excoriating pain. The pain all over.

The glass shards latched all over my body.

I was mortified when I discovered I couldn't open my left eye or move my limbs.

Burns, cuts, burns- everywhere. It was a hell.

I didn't have the privilege to see my brother and my father's dead body.

The goodbyes that remain unspoken, hurts the most.

"I am sorry," He was panicking, I could tell from his shaky voice, "I only wanted you to share it with me. I am sorry, brother; please-"

"It's alright, Archer," My voice was barely a whisper, it resonated loudly, like the breeze of autumn, "You didn't do anything."

"But I did! I brought back-"

"Hush," He stopped immediately, but still, I could sense his fear. I gave him a smile, hoping it would ease him., "I know. You wanted me to share. I am glad that I shared it with you."

I heard him sigh.

"I am sorry," He apologized again.

"You are a good brother," I uttered softly, "I am glad to have you."

"Me too," He was grown up man, yet, for me, in my mind, he was still that small, young boy I left behind. A boy of 12, tucked in his panda imprinted blanket, sleeping as he cuddled as life size teddy bear.

"Now, stop feeling bad, okay?" I sighed, "Tell me more about the car."

"Apparently, the car was still in the tow yard. It was burned, almost unrecognizable. I was shocked actually, when I came to know that you wanted to get the accident re-investigated."

Would you blame a dead for wanting to know the cause of it's death?

The whirlpool of suspicion along with endless self pity, I suppose was enough reason. An excuse to rip open an old wound.

"Weirdly, when it was investigated 13 years ago, nothing much was found. When they investigated it again, with a better technology this time, they found that there was a small fault in the break."

"Does it seem calculated? Preplanned?"

He remained silent.

My stomach churned painfully.

"Archer?"

"It doe- oh hello, Ms. Campbell!" I frowned as I was made aware of the unwanted intruder.

"Oh uh- hi!" She laughed nervously.

Even though I didn't know this girl for long, my mind seemed to have recognize some of her traits. Like laughing nervously for example, it was trait of hers when she was caught red handed.

"Are you here for checking up on him?" Archer's voice was gentle, yet I could detect a stern edge of it.

Meaning, she had been here for quite some time.

"Uhm yeah, I wanted to check up but figured I should wait outside since you guys were talking-"

This girl was a bad liar.

Her voice shook as she spoke, sentences phrased hastily, nervous giggles, unusual choice of words.

For someone so intelligent, she sure made mistakes like an amateur.

"I will call you in after a while," Archer said, unamused. He was a ray of sunshine but when it came upon me, he was stern.

"Okay," She laughed again, "Uhm, Ares?" Her voice was low, seductive as she called out.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want anything specific for breakfast?"

She was clearly flirting with me and I won't deny that her voice sounded like lust induced honey, that doesn't mean that I was going to encourage her behavior further. It had gone long enough.

My jaw clenched as felt the faint throb of my cock. Just her scent and I wanted to taste her.

It couldn't happen, I had to be the responsible one here.

"No, thank you," I dismissed her. I wondered how much she had heard?

I could feel her disappointment even though she stood meters apart. It followed with the sound of heels clicking and Archer's sigh.

"Pardon her," Archer mumbled, "She can be a bit... careless. I assure you she is a good person."

Was that admiration I detected in his voice?

Did he have a crush on her?

I huffed. Since when did he start going for girls so young?

"I am sure," My voice held a sarcastic tone to it.

He didn't notice, for he chuckled mildly.

"Don't you think it's high time you got a girlfriend?" I queried, trying to lighten the mood up. I was also curious, he was 25, perfect for settling down and having kids. It would be nice to have some kids playing around.

He chuckled again, "I suppose. Oh, speaking of which, I forgot to lend you a very important piece of information. Britney contacted me yesterday."

The name was enough to ruin my playful mood.

Britney used to be my girlfriend. She was every guys dream. Beautiful, intelligent, seductive, knowing how to please men.

Her name left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. Her words still resonated in my ears.

"I don't think we are compatible. I am sorry Ares, I want a normal life with a normal person."

Her words after I desperately begged for an explanation.

She couldn't afford to be with a blind man. She wanted a normal husband, someone who could see and admire her beauty.

12 years ago, I last heard from her.

"Why? What does she want?" My voice was crass, I didn't want to do anything with her.

"She said that she needed to tell you something urgently, her words not mine."

"After 12 years? What does she have to tell me? It's a bit late for pregnancy claim, don't you think?"

I never slept with her, that's another thing.

Archer wheezed.

His laugh reverberated through the room, making me smile too.

"It is I suppose," He replied, "But on a serious thought, she seemed pretty serious. Who knows, maybe she isn't a bitch anymore?"

"Don't call her a bitch," I grumbled.

"Don't tell me you still have feelings for her!" Archer gasped.

"No, I don't," I sighed, "I just have respect for her. She sacrificed a lot for me. One year with a blind guy, it's not a joke."

"Okay whatever, she said she will be dropping today."

I raised an eyebrow, "Today? That's a little too soon, don't you think?"

And I wasn't sure if I was ready to meet someone from my past, someone who had so much impact on me.

"It prob-"

His sentence was cut short as the sound of doorbell resonated.

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I will try to update more frequently from now on.

So, what do you think about the accident?

How about Adrianna's eavesdropping?🤭

Ares' conflicts? Do you think he had feelings for her?

How about Britney?

Are enjoying this story so far?

Thank you so much for reading! Your support motivates me to write!