She woke up not feeling his presence anymore beside her and also the sound of the running water from the bathroom broke her sleep. Throwing the blanket away, she slipped in her flip-flops and tied her hair in a loose messy bun. Yawning, she went up to the dresser just to notice that the t-shirt he was wearing last night was now on her, she smiled subtly looking out. It was still dark outside. She remembered he was going on a mission before the sun could show up.

She sat on the couch closing her eyes. She was still sleepy. The fact that they both slept late last night and now waking up so freaking early, her eyes felt like giving up. But in no way she wanted him to leave when she was asleep.

The clicking sound of the bathroom door made her open her eyes again. He stepped out ruffling his wet hair. She smiled sleepily at him as he said, "Why did you wake up? I would've stilled kissed you before leaving even if you were at sleep." He shrugged as a matter of fact.

"As if I'm dying to get kissed by you.", she muttered to herself.

"I heard that!", he yelled getting ready in his uniform, she watched silently until her attention was diverted to the piece of paper which accidentally fell from his bag. Walking up to it, she grabbed it, "Manik, this-" She didn't speak anything further.

Buttoning his shirt, he turned around and became alert as he took fast steps to snatch that away from her. "That's the legal notice of this mission. Hai na?"

He looked here and there before folding it back in his bag. "Umm... yeah."

She strode towards him and he changed his direction towards the dresser again. She forcefully made him turn to her. "A legal notice with a clause that if anything happened to you throughout your duty there, the authority would not take the blame and which had a signature of yours beneath, accepting  the clause?"

He shuffled with words, "Nandini. I-"

"You what? Were you ever gonna inform me that you're going on a 'secret mission' in Ladakh?" He dared to look into her accusing eyes. "Wow. You don't have an answer now. Huh?" Manik's phone saved him from her wrath as it buzzed aloud. He picked up the call.

For a moment his eyes searched for her, but she was now standing on the balcony. Her back faced him. He hid such a huge thing from her and he knew she was angry, sad, infuriated, and whatnot. "Yeah, I'll be down in 5."

He wore his badges, nameplate, belt, cap, and shoes. She didn't turn back for once and was still standing in the same position. There was this sinking feeling in his heart which said he shouldn't have hidden the matter from her, but it also said that he did no mistake if he wanted her not to worry and remain tension free.

She heard his footsteps nearing her, but she was in no mood to turn around. He breathed from right behind her before planting a kiss at the back of her head, over her hairs. She tightly closed her eyes shut, not to break down or burst out on him.

"I love you.", he whispered in her hair. She gripped the railing of the balcony tightly in response.

Before she could turn around, he picked up his luggage and was gone.

_________

4 days down, 1 more to go.

Not that it was the first time Manik went on a mission, but it was his first time in such a critical situation in Ladakh. There was no direct network connection that she could know how he was or he could knowhow she was doing. She stayed up to date with any kind of news about the latest update in Ladakh.

Until now, the situation there was quite calm and under control, much to everyone's relief. She prayed with all her heart and soul that the same condition prevails for the next 24 hours as well.

She felt super guilty not to wish him luck or ask him to take care or make him wear his cap or said that she loved him and will be waiting for him when he left for the mission that morning.

She kept herself busy in her cafe mostly. Even did overtimes, so that she couldn't get those stupid, negative thoughts in her mind. And moreover, she wanted to get

She had opened 2 more branches of 'Dream Pies' in Mumbai and was planning to do the same all over the country and she'd jolted some specific places too. She remembered him saying how proud he was and remembered working hard just so she could hear him say, "I'm so proud of you, babe."

She was staying at Murthys' as she never felt good living alone and also, she wanted to get more information and news regarding the condition at Ladakh... perks of having 2 Navy Officers in the house.

It was almost evening now and she was at her cafe. Doing overtime.

Her phone buzzed showing the caller to be 'Bhai'. She picked it up and without a 'hello' or 'how are you', he said, "Nandu, where are you?" His voice had some sort of urgency and dreaded what had been haunting her might turn true.

But she replied casually, "I'm at my Cafe, Bhai. Why do you ask?"

"Come to our place, now!" She was kinda sure now, her haunting thoughts were a step closer to being true. She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV in her Cafe for the entertainment of the customers. The first headline flashing on the screen at the bottom as 'breaking news' was "4 gunshots heard at the border of Ladakh, followed by continuous firing until now." And the female reporter blabbered something, but she could hear nothing.

She felt like... like... nothing... she went numb... as if someone took her breathes out, and she couldn't do anything in defense.

"Nandu! Will you ever listen to what I say? I asked you to come here and not to turn on the TV, dammit! Stay there, I'm coming.", Cabir sounded irritated.

"I'm going to my place." and the phone was cut.

"Fuck!", Cabir cursed. And informed he would be with her and Navya with Tara-Anant. But they refused. They couldn't let her alone and accompanied him to MaNan's abode.

_________

Nandini clicked the door unlock of their apartment, just to be welcomed by the eerie silence and dark atmosphere. Not caring to turn on the lights, she stepped in.

The Murthys reached there and found her standing just a few steps inside the main door, as she stared around in the darkness. Tara hugged her. Even though she wanted to say something to make her feel better, but words failed to form in her mouth at that moment.

Everyone settled in the living room, but Cabir and Anant were always busy on their phones trying their best to get the latest updates about the condition and officers in Ladakh. Either by phone calls, emails, voice messages, or texts to the right persons.

Navya and Tara settled on both sides of Nandini as they watched the news, constantly motivating each other saying how brave Manik is and that he'd be safe by God's grace. But Nandini was abnormally silent and didn't utter a word ever since.

"Nandu, don't worry. Bhai would be-", Navya tried counseling Nandini, when another voice mail from Anant's phone grabbed their attention.

The mail said, "This is Captain Aman speaking from INS Delhi, Sir. We just connected with our unit in Ladakh, Sir. And there's a piece of good news that the firing has now stopped at our camp."

Nandini felt like she spotted a tiny ray of hope approaching her, which was snatched away mercilessly as the Captain continued, "But that costed the life of two of our officers, and 5 of the rest were left injured. CO Sir has called the team of Ladakh to return back by tomorrow morning and before that, they'd be taken to the nearest hospital for all the required treatment. That's all until now, Sir. Jai Hind, Sir."

Everyone was just too shocked to react. Nandini stood up from the couch. "Nandu, where are you going?", asked Navya holding her wrist.

"I wanna be alone for a while. Please." Navya turned her gaze to Anant as if asking him to do something. She couldn't let her alone after the news they heard just now. Especially when none knew what was going on in her mind.

"Don't close the door, okay?", said Anant kissing her forehead.

"Hmm.", she nodded walking to their room. She looked around for a moment before curling herself up on the bed under the comforter. The room was untouched since the time he left as she stayed back at Murthys'. And it smelled him. She connected her earpods with her phone, entered the music playlist, and played the song on top. She'd recorded that when he sang from inside the bathroom probably 2 days before he'd left.

She mentally counted. There were 20 Officers in his unit. 2 of them were no more. 5 were injured.

She tormented her mentally with the worst possibilities. And she dreaded it.

She dreaded every moment of her existence away from him.

She dreaded that it'd be the last time she heard him say 'I love you', but that'd remain unreplied forever.

She regretted that she never turned back or held him or kissed him when he left for the mission.

She dreaded that she'd never feel those intense, deep eyes keenly observing her or admiring her as if she was the most beautiful woman, ever again.

Dreaded that she'd place her ears on his heart, but never hear it beat again.

Dreaded that he'd fulfill her promise to be the first one coming out of the ship, but this time in a wooden coffin.

It felt so heavy from inside her chest that she couldn't even let the tears out. It felt like a very hard task to let the tears out now.

She was... numb.

So numb that she didn't even realize when the songs ringing in her ears kept changing one after the next. But the singer remained the same.

She didn't realize when her eyes gave up and darkness consumed her. The only thing she felt held her back from collapsing in the world of darkness she entered, was the warmth of his smell that was very much prominent in the whole room, on the bed, in the comforter and pillow. The slow breeze making their way in through the balcony made her shiver. Even from inside the comforter.

________

The sun rays disturbed her ever so disturbing sleep, slapping her awake.

She opened her eyes feeling the warmth she probably needed at that moment. Turning over, she saw Tara right there beside her. Involuntarily, she hugged Tara by the stomach, snuggling into her. Seeking her warmth.

After almost 10-15 minutes, she felt the bed dip by the opposite side it was Anant this time. Nandini placed her head on his lap.

"Achha ji? Papa aa gaye ton Mum ko bhul gayi?", Tara said trying to make the situation lighter.

"Yes, of course! After all, my princess loves me the most.", Anant played along. But Nandini seemed unaffected by their try as she stared at the picture placed on the dresser, where she was having cotton candy, as it smeared all around her mouth and Manik observed her intently, just the way he always does and was wiping those off by his thumb.

She looked so weird in that picture, but Manik had said that she looked utter cute and got it framed.

"What is Manik doing now, Papa? How is he?", she asked still in a daze.

"I don't know, princess. All we can do is pray and hope for the best." Even though Anant knew Manik was one of the few officers who'd make the Indian Navy proud of. But he never wanted to be that proud, that he'd have to salute his son when he'd be lying in a coffin.

"What else might he be doing? He might be getting layers over layers of creams and powders and makeup on, just like he does always. So that he could look better than me.", said Cabir entering the room with two plates in his hand. 

"Come on, Nandu. Have some food you skipped dinner last night as well.", Navya said as she followed Cabir to the room, just a few steps behind him.

"Yes. Please have some food and mend your ghostly looks. Hum gaaliyan nhi kha sakte Manik ka. Saying that we didn't take care of his girl when he was away.", Cabir said.

The worst jokes at worst times. Nandini rolled his eyes mentally, but didn't say anything.

________

25 minutes to go before she'd see him. She hoped he would too.

She was eagerly waiting and counting minutes.

She selected the yellow sundress to wear. The one he loved the most as he'd always said. She couldn't pinpoint why... but she was taking efforts to get ready today... but she did... she just did. For him.

They weren't allowed to enter the harbor, as it was confidential. But Anant got the last-minute permission for his family to wait there. The ship was already there, but none had stepped out yet.

Nandini's heart jumped inside her chest and her palms grew colder as she stared at the ship.

Finally, taking all the time of the world, the grey iron made door was pushed open. And the first thing she saw, made her breath hitch.

Her life was back.

HER GODAMNED LIFE WAS BACK. 

~•~

A/N: Yesterday IWBW reached a centuryyyy!!!

It's a golden 100K readers on IWBW!!!

I don't have words to thank each one of you. It means so freaking much to meee!!

I love you all!

And also, I'd said in my last chapter that Chap 37 would be the last one, but it was getting very very long. So I had split it into two and will be sharing Chap 38 in a day or two as it's already written and completed, but I just need to make some changes.