He did like Nandini since childhood, but let go of that feeling, thinking it's just a mere attraction. No matter how he tried consoling himself saying those, his heart didn't hear any. His father died, leaving him alone in a dark corner of the world. Nandini came as a ray of light in his world full of darkness, as they met again, at the Christmas party, spent time together and when that attraction took a deeper form of love, he didn't know. And when he finally realized his love, destiny fucked things up in his life again.

A day went, 14 more to go. He crossed a day on his calendar.

'Was he waiting to go back to the harbor?' His mind questioned.

'Of course, you moron! Why do you even care anyway? To lead him in the wrong direction as you always do?' His heart taunted. 'Aur mera bhola officer gets trapped by you always. Oh God, please give some heart to this brain. So that he thinks for himself also sometimes.' Prayed his heart like a dramatic typical Indian mother.

'Get yourself a brain, you brainless creature!' Said his mind sarcastically.

'Shut up alright! Let my boy sleep. He's already exhausted for the day.' His heart said dearly.

Manik lay down on his bed, looking out of the tiny round window. The moon was shining bright in the middle of millions of stars. The sea beneath reflected the sky, giving a gorgeous view from the window. He held the photo frame in both his hands and softly caressed it. He kept staring at that until his eyes automatically closed as sleep took over him.

The next morning came with new problems, new issues to solve. Manik had been rushing from this side to that of the ship since morning.

On the other side, Captain Faizal knocked at Rear Admiral Anant's cabin to get a file signed by him. "Sir, this file requires your signature."

"What file, Captain?", asked Mr. Murthy taking the file from him.

"It's the documents of this sea voyage, saying we left the harbor on time yesterday and everyone has reported properly as pre-planned, Sir. I've checked all the details everything seems alright. You can just go through it if needed and sign at the end, kindly."

Mr. Murthy was going through the file, his eyes stopped at one place as he almost shouted, "Lieutenant Manik Malhotra?!! How did he get on the list?"

"Sir, Rear Admiral Khurrana Sir got the list updated the day before yesterday at urgent notice."

"What?! And why wasn't I informed about it? Being the in-charge, it's my right to make decisions and I had already selected officers for this exercise and Lieutenant Manik wasn't on the list the day before we left as well. Why did these happen behind my back?? Leave it, I'm gonna call Khurrana today. You send Manik in my cabin, urgently!" Anant was frustrated enough. Manik reached Anant Murthy's cabin and saw him pacing from one end to the other. He was worried or irritated, to be frank, and Manik could sense that.

He cleared his throat and said knocking at the door, "May I come in, Sir."

"Yes, sure Lieutenant Malhotra. I was waiting for you only." Malhotra? That's not a good indication. Taking small steps, he stood before his desk as he heard him say, "Forget we're on duty right now and reply honestly. What do I mean to you?", his voice was deep and hoarse. And to add up to it, he didn't ask Manik to sit either.

Manik was kinda scared of this avatar of his. He fidgeted with words, "Umm.. sir- err... Uncle I-"

"Stammering and you? What's wrong? Need some water?", he said with a hint of sarcasm mixed with dominance. Manik nodded in the negative. "You don't have an answer right? Fine then, not a problem. You can leave." Manik didn't move. He simply kept staring at Mr. Murthy's face who was now busy or pretending to be busy checking some files. "You didn't leave yet? Don't you have work to do?" After a pause, he again continued, "There are a lot of issues Lieutenant Malhotra. Get back to your work. Leave!" Manik left.

It's been a week now that they had boarded the ship and 5 days since Mr. Murthy distanced himself from Manik. Whenever they talked, it was always work-related. Otherwise, Mr. Murthy ignored him. And that was breaking the broken soul inside Manik even more.

I'm between breaking ties with Nandini, he didn't even realize how he had ignored the rest few countable relationships he had, Murthy uncle-aunty and Cabir. He literally informed none about his departure. Cabir had gone to the dockyard for 2 days and upon not finding Manik, he called Anant just to get the piece of information that Manik was sailing. Cabir was angry. Really angry.

Manik tried calling Cabir through the satellite telephone, but the other end wasn't received a single time. He tried again today. Cabir picked up. Manik wet his lips to say something as Cabir said, "What? Don't you understand that the person is busy if he isn't picking up the call?"

"Cabir, I know I did a mistake not informing you ab-"

"Mistake? A mistake is what a person does unknowingly. But you did everything knowingly, with a sober mind and that does not classify into the rank of a mistake. You-"

The call got cut. "Fuck network connections.", Manik whisper yelled to himself banging the handset back.

Relationships were falling apart, ties were breaking, the way he never thought of. He only had a very few people who cared for him. And his own stupidity pushed everyone away. He failed them. He slumped on his bed staring at the cloudy sky. The sky truly reflected his current situation. The sea was his life, the stars and moon were the people who loved him and the dark clouds were his stupidities, blocking the warmth and rays of love reach till him.

His eyes welled up, he couldn't take it anymore. He had to fix things before it's high time. He had to save the only few relationships he had.

Harshly wiping off his tears, he got up and strode out of his room. He opened the door to the deck of the ship, and there sat the person, facing his back.

Yes, it was Anant Murthy. It was his daily routine to spend an hour or so on the deck under the open sky and breathe in some fresh air and the peaceful view of the sea. Manik had seen him being there, but then Anant was giving him a silent treatment, so he couldn't gather the courage to face him or talk to him. "Uncle.", Manik muttered slowly.

Anant's face broke out a smile but he hid it and turned back with a straight face. "What brought you here, Malhotra? Have some work?" His face was straight and words were professional. Manik's heart went heavier, eyes glassier. Without receiving any sort of stimulus from the brain, his legs took him closer to the man sitting in front and arms wrapped around his chubby tummy as he sat on the ground just by Anant's feet making Anant startle at his gesture. Manik's shoulders vibrating and the fabric of his shirt getting wet gave him a clear indication that the strong officer was crying.

Yes, Anant did want to push him to such an extent that he realizes what he needs, what he wants. And he could sense the same coming its way towards him. He was happy. His slight wrinkly hand patted Manik's shoulder and rubbed his back time to time making Manik snuggle more into this fatherly embrace.

After which felt like a decade, Manik pulled out of the hug and said staring with teary eyes at his smiling face, "I'm sorry, papa ."

His smile dropped. He did expect Manik to comeback, but what he said was totally unexpected, unbelievable. Staring at his eyes for some minutes, he could clearly visualize a small boy craving for a bit of love. He pulled him into a bone-crushing hug as his eyes couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Anant murmured, "I love you, my son ."

"I'm sorry for everything, papa.", Manik whispered. After spending father-son moments full of smiles and laughter for more one hour than usual, both departed to their rooms.

Anant had a talk with Rear Admiral Khurrana, and he accepted that yes, he did transfer Manik at a short notice, that too without talking to Anant. Whereas, Anant Murthy was supposed to make all decisions regarding the voyage being the in-charge. Though Khurrana every time denied to share the reason, which clearly indicated there mightn't be any suitable, justified one. He did misuse his power, and the navy never supports such officers. Mr. Khurrana had to face the consequences.

Whereas back at the headquarter, Nandini turned comparatively more silent than before. Navya found it strange and shared the matter with Cabir who could easily catch what the actual issue was, in a few moments. The dumb headed jerk who supposedly turned out to be his best friend as well. Cabir sighed hard and shared everything with Navya. She firstly didn't wanna agree about Manik Nandini, but then hearing all his observations and suspicions, she agreed too.

Something had happened between the two and Cabir Navya could smell it but asking several times to Nandini about it indirectly, she gave the same answer, "Manik doesn't matter to me. Whether he stays or goes to the ship doesn't make any difference. I thought he was someone, which he wasn't in reality. He's just another brainless weak person, who can get manipulated by the drop of a hat."

Yes, she got to know the reason when she overheard her parent's conversation over the phone and after a bit of more investigations. But how does that make any difference when he can not rely on her or trust her enough to share things with?

If he chose to push her away, then be it. She wasn't going to pester him anyway either.

10 days gone, 5 more to go.

He had saved his second father from going away from himself, and he couldn't wait to save his best friend, his friendship now.

But what about her?

Was he going to make any efforts to get her back?

No.

He couldn't act selfishly and fall weak in front of his heart, which will bring her any sort of harm. As long as she is happy, he wanted nothing more. She was that important to him.

It had become a routine for Manik and Anant to spend time together at night talking. 2 days were left to go back to the harbor, days were passing fluently. Manik still had to fix many things in his life, but for now, him getting a father like figure and accepting it wholeheartedly, was definitely a relief. He couldn't do anything more staying in the middle of a sea anyways.

Her thoughts did trouble him, a lot! How he wished he could call her and talk to her like every other officer on the voyage does everyday. Manik had none to call or talk to. Cabir was angry and wasn't picking up any call and calling Nandini wasn't even a question. He had no rights left to talk to her. He pushed her away, and now himself was bearing the pain. He felt for her, deeply. He realized the feeling was the most beautiful feeling called 'love'. But happiness is meant in his life for being fucked up, and he couldn't hurt her.

Now the diary was his only friend who would hear anything and everything out without a word. Penning down his feelings on those off-white paper was his daily routine.

Manik came to Anant's cabin to report about about the voyage, but he wasn't there.. he might be out for a sudden visit on the whole ship. So Manik was waiting in his cabin, just then he heard the telephone ringing.

It rang for once, twice, thrice. Still the other person kept calling. Manik picked up the handset and froze on his place.

~•~

A/N: So so so sorry for being a jerk and making you all wait for long. I don't wanna give excuses, but all of the fault goes to my stupid headache. I've been suffering from a constant bad headache since last few days.. my head was pounding like it's gonna burst any moment. It had been unbearable and I went to the doctor today.
Hope to get well ASAP 😷

And and my story is on #15 out of 64K stories on 'feelings'😭😭 I'm grateful to all😭💕💕💕