Gone

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Aizawa's POV

Β  Β "Aizawa?"

I didn't want this.

"Aizawa?"

I'd been so quick to go off. If only I hadn't been slowed down so easily, if only I hadn't been so goddamn helpless when she needed me.

"I need to interview Mirio to confirm everything. I wanted to tell you- but you don't have to come if you don't want to."

It was like the universe was playing a sick joke on me.

For the first time in a while, I had felt truly happy. She was everything I wasn't and it filled a hole inside me I didn't know was there until now.

One moment she was running beside me, that determined look on her face, the one that she had when I first met her, and the next she was gone.

Gone.

I- god- I don't know how you think I can do this without you y/n.

Impossible.

That's how it felt.

"I'm coming."

Part of me would never be able to wrap my head around the fact that she's gone.

She's gone.

"I- Are you sure?"

No.

"Yes."

The walk was silent.

I wasn't sure if it was better this way. The silence just reminded me of her absence. I'd grown to love her constant chatter, the way she always seemed to have a snarky remark ready at any moment.

I love everything about you.

No- I. I loved everything about you - fuck.

"Aizawa, we're here. You can take a seat and I'll ask the questions. Feel free to leave if you want."

I can't leave.

But if I listen, am I just torturing myself more?

I deserve it.

I deserve it for not helping her. For not saving her.

If I was there, would she still be here now?

"Togata, I understand that this might be hard for you but we need to know what happened. What you saw in the corridor."

He looked tired.

He'd watched Nighteye and then y/n die right in front of his eyes.

And yet, he was still trying to stay strong.

I'm meant to be a fucking hero and yet this kid has more resolve than me?

"We were trying to get Eri out but... but I was too weak and collapsed, y/n- she tried to help me but we both didn't notice Eri go back to Overhaul."

Togata looked down at his hands, his thumbs fiddling with each other.

"Hey calm down!" She laughed. "Time Warp. Pleasure to meet you." She curtsied and I gave her an unimpressed look.

She was a hero? She was acting like a child.

"Sooo, what should we do with that handful?" She gestured to the man who now hung in defeat wrapped in grey.

"I'm going to take him to the station."

She scoffed, "Excuse me! I'm the one who stopped the damn guy!"

"And I'm the one who has him caught in my capture weapon." I replied nonchalantly.

"No shit scarfy."

"Y/n noticed and ran after her but there was this person... I think they were with the Shie Hissakai- they had this silver beak mask on their face and they..."

His face shifted into a more pale grey.

"Shota Aizawa."

"Hmph?" She looked up, noddles still hanging from her mouth.

I sighed, "Shota Aizawa. That's my name."

"It's nice to meet you Shota. I'm y/n Tanakashi."

"Tanakashi? Like the cafΓ©?"

"Exactly like the cafΓ©. I've seen you've become a regular."

I nodded, "are you going to take your mask off then Tanakashi?"

"Oh yeah. Might as well I guess." She placed the tub of udon in her lap and took off her mask.

"I know right? Wow, she's such a beauty. Absolutely gorgeous." She said flicking her hair dramatically.

"I- She-" He shook his head and I asked myself if I really wanted to hear this.

I had to.

I felt something hit my shoulder and tensed, turning my head to see what it was.

Y/n.

She'd fallen asleep. I couldn't blame her, she looked wiped out. I didn't want to move, afraid of waking her.

She looked so peaceful.

Her (h/c) hair had fallen over her eyes and cast a shadow across her face in the city lights.

She looked so calm.

Something about her made me want to hold her tighter against me. I wanted her to feel safe next to me. My thoughts raced back to that morning I had heard her screaming, she'd looked so sad and worn down at that moment; I wanted to throw my arms around her and tell her that whatever had hurt her, whatever had made her feel like that couldn't hurt her anymore.

Because I was there to protect her.

"It's okay, take your time." The detective reassured him.

"She tried to fight back, I really couldn't make out what was happening, but she... The women with the mask... I think it was her quirk, but y/n just... fell and there was a... gun and-"

"Wait- Shota?"

"Mhmm?"

"Is it... would it be okay if... if you stayed? I don't really want to be alone."

I was slightly taken aback by the request but nodded, "I can lay my sleeping bag on the floor."

"No, you don't have to. That just sounds uncomfortable. Plus, comfortable bed." She shrugged as if it was a deal-breaker.

"You're right, it is comfortable."

"It's your bed?"

He chuckled, "Spare bedroom remember, I don't alternate beds."

"I would."

"Yes, but you're y/n."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you're different, brave and fucking adorable."

"The woman used a gun?"

Togata nodded and looked up, locking eyes with me.

Those were the eyes that watched her die.

"Shota..."

She put a shaky hand to his cheek and pressed her lips against mine.

I wrapped my hands around her waist and deepened the kiss.

It felt right.

Like this was where she was meant to be, in my arms.

"I want you to trust me." I mumbled, grazing her cheek with my thumb.

"I think I trust you more than anyone I've ever known."

"She... She begged." Togata let out a shaky breath, "She begged for her to not pull the trigger."

... She begged.

The image of her, begging for her life invaded my vision.

"Do you like me?" She asked.

I was taken aback by the question, it seemed to have come from nowhere, "What?"

"Oh no, you're making me repeat it for the third time, you don't like me, I should've seen it coming, it was fun knowing you I'm going to go jump out of the window n-"

I cut her off by pulling her into a kiss.

Passionate and grounding, just like the first time but somehow... better.

"Don't be such an idiot. Of course, I like you." I blushed slightly and quickly turned away busing myself by looking for a glass again. "Jesus, why are your cupboards so confusing."

"Shota?"

I stopped again.

"A lot?"

I turned and smiled, "A lot."

"... She said that she wanted to tell Eri that she loved her... at least- at least once."

"I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings!" She laughed but there was nothing humorous about it. "I was trying to help, now I see you're too stubborn to accept that."

"You're a fucking hypocrite y/n." I spat.

"And you're upset! I don't want to fight you!"

He continued to look at me, "Is- Is she Eri's mother?"

I closed my eyes and took a breath, "Yes."

"I'm so fucking sorry."

I gave him a half-smile, "It's not your fault."

"I don't care. This was meant to be a perfect night."

"Have you met us Shota? We're anything but perfect, and that's perfect to me."

She put a hand on my cheek to make my eyes meet hers.

She smiled, "You're perfect to me Scarfy."

"...She looked at me and tried to say thank you... but-" His eyes glazed over slightly, "The woman pulled the trigger... she didn't even get to finish her sentence."

She didn't even get to finish her sentence.

Y/n...

"Come on sunflower, restaurants this way."

"Sunflower?"

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, "They're meant to bring joy and happiness, and that's exactly what you've done for me... Yellow's also my favourite colour..."

She smiled brightly and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I didn't know you were such a flower nerd Scarfy."

"You're ruining the moment."

I bowed my head, trying to stop the tsunami of emotions from overwhelming me.

I still had to check in with everyone else. I had to keep a straight face... I couldn't fall apart when there was still so much to do.

"Please y/n. You can't just push me away."

"Watch me."

"Is that how you feel? You really don't trust me?"

"Are you really going to shut me out like that?"

"I don't think this is working out."

"Y/n-"

"I don't think this is working out between us Aizawa."

"Please... don't say that."

"As you know, the building collapsed and we weren't able to retrieve her body." The detective sounded sympathetic but I knew it was just the same old script they were taught, it was so detached. But I couldn't blame him.

"But we found this."

I sucked in a breath when he pulled out a small yellow object.

The ring.

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU! BECAUSE I... I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT!"

I rest a hand against her cheek, "You could never hurt me Sunflower."

"You don't know that."

I sighed, resting my forehead against hers. "I don't care. I trust you. So please, tell me."

"I don't think you'd believe me."

"I don't see why you'd lie to me."

"You think too much of me."

"Isn't it good to put my trust in the woman I love?"

"You're delusional Scarfy."

"Love does that to people."

It seemed ridiculous that a tiny piece of plastic was the thing to break me.

But it did.

Because out of everything they could've found- it was from the day I realised I had fallen in love with y/n Tanakashi.


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