"W-where...?"

I wasn't in the hospital room anymore.

This time I was older, perhaps by a year or so, Yoko was in my arms, just a kitten.

"Nana, why can't I live with mama and papa and Bean anymore?"

My grandmother sighed, a sad look washing over her face before she put on a warm smile, "You know that your mum and dad can't look after you anymore y/n"

"But I can look afteR them!"

She shook her head lightly and ruffled my hair.

"I'm sorry y/n, I really am."

"What about bean?"

That made her flinch, obviously dreading her own answer, "Y/n... did your mum or dad tell you what happens when someone... passes away?"

Did I...?

"Mama said it's when you never see someOne again, but they're always in your heart."

"That's what happened to Kitsu."

Did I kill Kitsu?

"I can't see her again?"

My grandmother nodded slowly, "But as your mama said, she'll always be in your heart."

No... I couldn't have, because she was alive. I just saw her and she was alive.

Did she disappear?

Did she disappear like me?

My younger self tilted her head, "LiKe what happened to mama and papa?"

"No y/n, your mum and dad are still here, they're just... more like me now."

"More like you?"

"Yes, they had a lot of birthdays at once and now they're older, like me."

"But Nana, you're not old."

"Thank you, honey."

"So can I sEe them?"

"I'm sure we can arrange a date."

"...Nana?"

"Yes y/n?"

"Is it my fault?"

"No y/n, it's not your fault. Please remember that okay?"

"Okay, nana."