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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄
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THE FIRST TIME OLIVIA WOKE UP, it was from the shouting next outside her hospital bed. She could hear Amara the most, the eldest Kinsley's voice dominating above everyone else's. James was obviously arguing with her. She could hear Remus and Madame Pomprey there too.

"She's a child!" Olivia heard Amara scream. "You did this to her. You took advantage of her!"

"Watch your mouth, Kinsley." Even without seeing him, Olivia could tell James was seething. "I didn't plan this, okay? I'm just trying my fucking best not to completely screw it up."

Olivia heard Amara scoff. "You expect me to believe that, Potter? You can barely come to class on time and yet you expect me to believe you won't fuck this up and end up leaving my sister with a kid she doesn't know how to care for. You're a boy, Potter. You're not a man."

"Well, at lease I was there!" James said, his voice full of venom. "Where the fuck were you, Amara? Running away from Voldemort? I may not know the whole story but I damn well know you abandoned her. You left her in that house all alone."

"You don't know a single thing about me!" Amara screamed. "She doesn't have to go through this. She can live her life as if this never happened. She can give it—"

A sudden bang cut her off. A hand slamming on a table, or maybe a wall. When James spoke again, his voice was low and calm but it was shaking with unreleased anger. "Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence. I'm warning you. I don't want you anywhere near my family."

Olivia was helplessly trying to grasp on consciousness. Madame Pomprey must have given her something because even though there was a war brewing outside between James and Amara, she felt calm and at peace.

She could hear Amara and James still spewing venomous words at each outside the drawn curtains of her bed, but as her hands moved to her stomach, the dillusionment charm gone and her baby bump in full view, Olivia can feel herself being lulled back to sleep. She can imagine the even beating of Little Nugget's heart and with that thought in mind, she allowed herself to return to dreamland.

The second time she woke up, it was quiet, the bright fluorescent lights blinding her eyes. She blinked a few times, allowing them to adjust to the sudden brightness before glancing at the clock showing 9:07 pm, an hour before curfew.

This time her curtains were open and she can see that she's the only patient in the deserted hospital, making her wonder where Sirius had gone. Turning to her right, she can see James sleeping on a chair, his arms crossed over his chest and his glasses askew. Clutched with his left hand, Olivia can see a new sonogram, probably taken while she was asleep.

Pulling herself up, she reached for the sonogram, seeing the slightly bigger oval blob floating around in the moving photograph. Olivia heaved a sigh of relief, thankful that nothing had happened to her baby. However, her mind wondered back to what had happened in defense against the dark arts, suddenly feeling her breath hitched.

She remembered the terrified eyes of the little boy, James' eyes, her baby's eyes. The blood covering the innocent child's pale, soft skin made her own crawl. She remembered her father and the fear that enveloped her body when he raised his hand. She felt like a little girl again, hiding from the man who was meant to protect her.

Suddenly, she felt as if the deafening silence of the Hospital Wing was suffocating her. She turned back to the sonogram, willing it to calm her. Olivia could feel her breathing get uneven and shivers running along her skin.

Her hand protectively held her exposed baby bump, feeling herself losing control. In a moment of panic, she grabbed the Gryffindor jumper that must have fallen on the floor and quickly slipped it on, and before she knew it, she was running away from the hospital wing. She didn't know where she was going but she needed fresh air.

She needed her mind to clear of painful memories of her childhood. She didn't care where she was going, she simply needed to get away. Not long before, Olivia found herself in the center of the quidditch field, sinking to her knees to try and calm her furiously beating heart.

She tried to count from one to ten, matching her breath with each number, the way Maxwell taught her.

1... deep breath... 2... release... 3... deep breath

Just as she reached the number 5, she felt a tiny hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Lucas standing over her, his innocent face scrunched up in worry. He said nothing, not quite understanding the severity of the situation, instead he kneeled in front of her and wrapped his tiny arms around her shaking body. Lucas was only 11 and he didn't yet understand the severity of the situation. But where his schoolmates teased him for being a little too short and a little too slow, the word "late bloomer" being tossed around in his direction many times, Olivia didn't care. She approached him and helped him up and wiped his tears. Maybe he didn't quite understand but he knew the deal of friendship. Olivia helped him once, helped him everyday after that, and now he was only trying to return the favor.

Kindness is free and can easily be given. Even his 11 year old brain knew that.

The two of them stayed there for a while. Olivia worked to try and control her breathing, but every time her father's face flashed in her mind's eye, she was back to zero all over again and yet not a single tear fell from her eyes. There, in the middle of the quidditch field with the moon shining brightly above them, a seventeen year old girl fought the terrors of her past and an eleven year old boy gave his best to provide comfort for someone he considered an older sister. Together the two of them realized that maybe family doesn't always have to be by blood.

It was a few moments later when another approached them, the same shadow and exhaustion on his face. Sirius Black said nothing as he sat beside the two. He waited until Olivia was calm enough and Lucas had let her go. Sirius pulled at his tie, loosening it as he leaned back, using his elbows as support. He almost looked ethereal with the moonlight shining on his aristocratic features.

"What are you doing here?" Olivia finally asked.

Sirius glanced at her, the girl his best friend would probably die for in a heartbeat if it was asked of him, and realized they aren't that different at all. "Same as you. Getting away."

Neither said anything after that. No words needed to be said. They had demons that took a permanent home in their heads and neither knew how to get rid of them.

The silence was only broken when Sirius pulled something from his pocket. It almost looking like a powder mirror most women carried, but Olivia could clearly see James' face on it and she quickly realized it was a two way mirror.

"Pads—!" James started, his voice frantic.

"She's with me," Sirius interrupted before he can say anything else, glancing at her. Olivia said nothing. She simply continued staring ahead. She didn't want to see James. It sounded selfish considering all of his efforts, but she knew she couldn't handle seeing James right now. Sometimes it almost felt like James had the power to see into her soul. He would be looking at her and she'd suddenly feel vulnerable. It was frightening for her that someone seem to understand all her needs and wants and her little quirks with just one look. She would never admit the power he had over her.

"I know. I saw," she heard James say. "Just... just take care of her, please, for me."

"You know I will," Sirius said. "We'll see you later."

She heard James let out a sigh and Olivia can imagine him running his hand through his messy hair in an attempt to calm himself. "Okay."

Sirius brought the two way mirror back to his pocket. The three returned back to not saying anything, just simply reveling in each other's comforting presence. Eventually, Lucas laid down, placing his head on Olivia's lap, causing Olivia to affectionately, absent-mindedly play with the little boy's mass of curly hair. She lost track of how long they sat there. Maybe it was only a few minutes or maybe it was hours, but when one of them finally spoke, Olivia was calmer than ever.

"You know," Sirius started. "The first time I ever spent a summer in the Potter Manor, I was twelve and it was only for a week but it was the best week I've ever had."

Olivia turned to him, nodding for him to go on.

"Of course, my parents only allowed it because James is a pureblood and so long as I don't mention that Remus and Peter is there too, but I was happy nonetheless. We were playing around when I knocked over one of Euphemia's expensive vases. For a few moments, I just stood there crying while clutching my bleeding hand. I was scared. What if James doesn't want to be friends with me anymore? What if Euphemia throws me out?" Sirius said, and Olivia can see the terrified twelve year old boy once again. Behind all that swag and humor, he was just a little boy. "Fleamont found me first. He asked me what happened and I explained between sobs. When he raised his hand to check my injury, I was cowering away. When the boys finally realized something was up, I kept saying sorry."

"I was panicking and hyperventilating so badly that they had called Euphemia from the kitchen. When she saw, she looked at me then at the broken vase. I was ready for it, you know? For her to scream, hex me, slap me, anything. Instead, she kneeled down in front of me with the kindest smile on her face." Sirius shook his head as if until now, he couldn't quite believe it yet. "Then she told me to take a deep breath before hugging me close and bringing me to the kitchen where she placed me on the countertop. She fixed my hand and explained to me she wasn't mad. She told me it was okay. She knew I didn't mean it, that it was okay to make mistakes. And that was the first time I realized what a family should be, that parents shouldn't be hurting their kids."

Sirius faced her, his stormy grey eyes meeting her cloudy grey ones. "James isn't just my best friend, Olivia. He gave me more than friendship. He gave me a family and a new life. Maybe that's why I've always been terrified of losing him. He gave me the stability I never really had. He's a reminder everyday that I don't belong to the darkness, that I'm one of the good ones."

"You are," she said, surprised at the conviction behind her words. She realized that she truly meant them. Being surrounded by bad people all her life, Olivia knew for certain that Sirius Black was one of the greatest ones. He's brave and loyal and good. He would never purposely hurt anyone, he would never betray his friends and she felt lucky to see that she was one of those. "You truly are, Sirius. You're one of the kindest people I've ever met."

Sirius smiled at her. It was small and shy, but it was genuine. It told her that he was grateful for her words, for her reassurance and Olivia hoped she was able to put some of the demons she knew plague his mind to rest at least for now.

Silence enveloped the two again, but this time it was Olivia who broke it. "I was eleven."

Sirius turned to her again and Olivia found herself looking down to Lucas' curly mass of messy hair and she couldn't help but self consciously play with them. The creeping fear of being vulnerable eating away at the corners of her mind. But Sirius had opened up to her. He told her parts of himself that she could bet only very few knew so it's only fair she does the same.

"I was eleven when I first realized something was wrong," she started, still not looking at him. "It was September 1st and my first time in King Cross station. Our parents never really came with Amara and Samuel, and they certainly never let us come. So there I was in my fanciest clothes because god forbid I ever be seen in anything else, with Samuel tightly holding my hand and I watched in amazement. The mothers kissing their children. Kissing. Can you believe that? Like they were really showing emotion to their children other than anger?"

Like Sirius earlier, she was shaking her head as if she still couldn't quite believe it until now. "I always thought that's just how parents were, you know? I thought it was normal that they hurt you and say things about you. It was so fucking weird to me. It felt like I'd just step into a completely different planet. I thought love meant punching my gut so I'd fix my posture. Then I came to Hogwarts and I met new people and I realized I had it all wrong."

"But unlike you," she said again, her voice becoming shakier. "I didn't have a James. I had a M-Maxwell and I had him before I was born. He was the only thing keeping me sane. He was my rock. He was the only reminder I had that I didn't deserve this. I've never done anything to deserve this. He was the only thing keeping me from losing myself. So when I lost him, I guess I did lose a part of myself. And I guess I never bothered looking for them. It was easier to pretend everything was fine even though inside, I felt like dying every damn day. And after all that pretending, maybe I've just become numb, indifferent. I didn't really care about much anymore."

Olivia finally faced him, her face mirroring that of a confused eleven year old little girl. "I'm lost, Sirius, and even I can't find myself."

Sirius offered her a smile. "Yeah, well, you aren't alone anymore. You've got us now. You've got James. He won't let anything happen to you. We're family. Me, Moony, Wormtail, Prongs, Little Nugget, even Lucas is and you're part of it whether you want to be or not."

Olivia tried to hide the smile slowly overtaking her face. "Well, in that case, I guess I wouldn't mind being part of a family."

"That would make me the cool uncle," Sirius said again, his mood obviously better after talking about it. "Moony's the responsible one. You're the mom and James is the dad. I guess that would make Lucas your unofficial first child."

Olivia rolled her eyes, back to her usual behavior as well. "You do realize Potter and I aren't actually together, right? I know you love pretending there's something more between us, but we're just friends. We just happen to share a baby too."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, not believing a word she just said. "Wait, you're telling me you don't see it?" Upon seeing the confuse look Olivia had, he smirked. "Little nugget's really gonna need me around if his momma's as oblivious as you."

"What are you talking about, Black?"

Sirius chuckled, shaking his head again. "Nah, I think I'm gonna let Prongs figure this one out."

Olivia was just about to say something when a woman approached them, and upon seeing Olivia there, stopped and hesitantly inched away from the two. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know—"

"Hey, Kat," Olivia greeted. Katherine Summers was probably one of the few people she felt absolutely comfortable in. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Was just gonna check up on—" Kat glanced at Sirius before her amber eyes quickly going back to Olivia. "But I see everything's okay so I'm just gonna go now."

Those words seem to do something to Sirius as he quickly jumped to his feet. "Oh hell no!"

Olivia was surprised with his sudden outburst as she watched him point a finger at the hufflepuff girl. "No way in merlin's name are you running away from me again, Katherine Summers."

Now, this seem to have pulled some strings within the girl as a fire quickly ignited in her eyes. "Excuse me? I'm the one running away from you? Was I the one who avoided you like a damn plague all because he couldn't make up his fucking mind?"

Realizing that there was definitely some unfinished business between the two that she didn't wanna get caught up in, she quickly performed a charm on Lucas that would enable her to carry him, she started walking away from the two, which they didn't seem to notice.

The walk back to her dormitory was thankfully quiet and she didn't bump into any teachers. James' sweatshirt still hung loosely from her body. Muttering the password, Olivia quickly placed Lucas on the couch, taking his cloak and shoes off. The boy was small enough and the couch was big enough that it could his bed. But she figured she'd move him to her bed later.

Slipping off the jumper, Olivia pushed the door of her bedroom open, only to stop when she saw James sitting by the edge of her bed. Any other person, she would have been very disturbed by but seeing as it was James, she was surprised to know she didn't mind.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked.

James looked up at him, his eyes seeming exhausted. "I was so worried when I woke up and didn't see you there. I couldn't breath. I didn't know what to do with myself. What if something had happened to you? God, Olivia, I would have searched every corner of the world looking for you."

"I'm sorry," she couldn't help but feel guilty. "I needed fresh air."

He smiled at her, his glasses sideways and his hair messier than usual due to the amount of times he ran his hand through it. "As long as you're okay."

Olivia didn't know why she did it, but she found herself walking towards him and going in between his legs and wrapping her arms around his neck. James allowed her, his arms instantly wrapping around her waist and his head placing themselves on her stomach. He pulled her closer towards him till she was sat on his lap.

And he just held her, because that's all James ever needed. To hold her and make sure she was okay, that she was still here, near enough that he could still reach her.