⟦THIRTY SIX - WHY AM I STILL IN LOVE?⟧

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CHAPTER 36: WHY AM I STILL IN LOVE?

NOTE: last bit of angst, :)

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JUNGKOOK'S POV

"So my poem is called "Tell me the one where we were enough", and um..." I rubbed my neck, my palms already clammy and I look down, my fingers rattling against the page.

"tell me about the other version of our tale,

the one where I love you and you love me,

and just this once it is enough.

tell me the one where i didn't lose you,

where i still hung with you,

where i didn't let myself drown at my own hands, too.

where you didn't lie to me,

where i wasn't a bet to you,

tell me the one where i was good enough for you,

where i was pretty enough for you,

where i wasn't clingy,

where i wasn't weak,

where i was someone you could love.

tell me the one where we were enough,

tell me why, why i'm still in love,"

"And tell me if there's a possibility of you loving me," I added on the end spontaneously, looking at him and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.Β 

He's not looking back at me.

Or is he? I can see the slight burrowing his head out from his own arms that he leaned on, glancing at me with a small smile. It's there again - the heartache.

In a moment my head turns to the rest of the class, who either seem to sit there looking at me with either pity or the usual "I'm bored, I hate English," face. Either way, everyone's looking and I can't help but feel judged. Ms. Yang comes up to the front of the class again, clapping at me and I stare at the floor nervously, the feeling of judgment getting bigger and bigger by the second. "Well done-"

I couldn't. I bolted out of the classroom, forgetting everything around me because I couldn't anymore. I couldn't be in the same room with him for more than fifteen minutes. I couldn't bear to see his face, I didn't want to see him judge me, to mock me, to hate me.

To love to hate me.

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V'S POV:

He bolted from the room, and it feels like he took my heart with it, replacing it with guilt instead. I can sense Jimin's eyes piercing through the back of my mind, indignation, and annoyance coming off it. The teacher looks at the door still, completely confused about what just happened, the students only sitting there with their mouths wide open.

And then she looks back at us, "O-Oh," is all she phrases. She claps her hands together and pulls a smile, a forced smile asking us, "Anyone wants to go next?"

No one answers. Not a single hand is raised, not a single finger is moved, until one girl from the room stands up, walking to the front of the room to start her poem. I look behind me, an emptiness growing in my chest and I raise my hand, "Excuse me, Miss, do you mind if I could see the nurse for a second?"

She nods. I dart.

I throw my things into my bag, then leaving the classroom. I can't tell where my feet are taking me, and that is when I registered the fact that I had no plan in finding him. Nothing to say, no clue to where I should be able to find him, nothing which could help me. I was stuck, in the middle of the corridor, "Going to the nurse's office."

I start to think of where he'd go. Empty classrooms? There were none in this school. Okay, maybe one, but that one is dusty and... He wouldn't go there. Locker room? There's bound to be people in there. "Where on earth are you Jungkook?" I pulled my hair in anger, then hearing a silent weep. "Kook?" I walk in the direction of the cry, turning a corridor. It doesn't lead me to him, but it leads me to a staircase that goes to the basement. What would he be doing down here?

I go down the stairs quickly, his cries getting louder and louder. The door to the basement is open, but everything is darkly lit to the point where you can't see anything. I step in.

"Why are you here?" He huffs. I turn on one of the lights which light up the back of the basement, and now I can see him clearly. He's sitting on the cold hard floor, a canvas resting up against his knees glancing at what seems to be a painting, crying at it. I walk over to him, sitting by his side but he jolts, moving away from me as quickly as possible. "D-Don't," he whimpers.

"Kook, I'm not here for anything bad," I state.Β 

He sniggers at that, then replying back a very sarcastic response, "Then what are you here for, to kiss my ass?"

"No Kook, just please, listen to me."Β 

He throws the painting across the floor, the painting sliding towards me, "Listen to you? How about you listen to me for once?!"

I keep quiet and he rolls his eyes, "But then again, you don't care, do you?" He goes for the door and I run after him, slamming my hand on the door shut.

"I do fucking care, and I'm so fucking sorry."

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AUTHOR'S POV:

The two of them stayed in that position, V's hand steady against the door, Jungkook in front of the door, his lip quivering as he cried underneath the older. "Why is everything you say a lie?"

"Why can't you just listen to me?" V shouts back, "Why are you so one-sided, why are you - why are you acting like a baby?!" He punches the door behind Jungkook, the younger shaking from the fright. "Why can't you just be normal for fuck's sake, and listen to me?"

The younger sobs at this point and V then realizes what he said - "Oh my god, oh my god, I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it."

And the younger quietly mutters, "I-It's o-okay."

"N-No it isn't Kook, it really isn't." The younger stays underneath him, looking up at the older doe-eyed, "Can you listen to me - please?"

"If you listen to me afterward," V spoke softly. The younger nods, and then speaks up. "Y-You probably heard the poem, um uh..."

The younger looks at the floor, biting his nails and then asks as quietly as a mouse, "A-Actually, can you go first?"Β 

The older chuckles picking up Jungkook's jaw, an electrifying feeling pursuing through him. "You sure?" The younger nods again.

"Firstly, what Jimin said was only half-true." Jungkook looks up at the older with his brows arched, confused by his words. "What I mean is that ages ago I made a bet with my friends, it was really dumb..."

"What was it?" The younger squeaks.

"U-Uhm... toloseyourvirginity," The older spoke so fast it came out as mumbles, again confusing the younger until he - "Wait, what?" The younger gulped, eyes widened.

"That was it? Nothing else!?"Β 

V nodded costively, the older then gaping as he responded, "So what was everything else then?"

"W-Well then I got feelings for you, then denied them-"

"By saying you were straight, yeah I get that part," the younger cut off.

"Can you trust me?" V says, his hands now of the door as he immediately clutched them onto Jungkook's.Β 

"Should I?" The younger responds.

The older nods, then frantically looking away as he muttered out, "I-I love-" The older couldn't bring himself to say it, and so he used his hands to pull himself onto Jungkook, kissing him. The kiss was very sloppy, probably the sloppiest the two ever share but it didn't matter. The two didn't care because after all, they got what they wanted for a few days, thousands of hours and billions of minutes.

The two kissed each other, forgetting everything that happened in the blink of an eye - or should I say a single kiss. They knew the both of them had problems, they knew the both of them had to talk sometime, but it wasn't their priority.

On the other hand, what was their main priority was a quick response - in the way of a kiss.Β 

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I was watching teen wolf S2 whilst doing it

definitely not falling for Stiles' sarcasm, idk what u r talking about.

anyways, le angst is now gone,

so we can now celebrate la vkook.

the title was inspired by Tumblr stuff and written by me.

also don't forget to comment, vote and follow for more vkook and some yoonmin.

Β©keketan

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