Chapter twenty one

Screw this. I was going to see Tom, I wouldn't allow him to treat me like I was only meaningful on his terms. I wouldn't allow him to make me believe there was a relationship blossoming between us when his mind thought differently.

I'm done Henry.

Rushing up the stairs I peeled off my clothes, leaving myself in just my underwear as I hugged my knees tightly, tears trickling effortlessly down my cheeks. Trying so badly to not let Henry hear me. The last thing I wanted him to know was that I was upset. Truly upset.

Picking up my phone in a fit of sobs I dialled Toms number, his name popping up alone made me smile inwardly. I missed him- as a friend.

"Hello?" A confused voice spoke on the other end of the phone

I couldn't believe he answered me, I thought he hated me. Still in shock I decided to reply, not wanting to hear the answer.

"Meet me at our usual place- 8:40. Don't be late please"

"Are you okay Melanie?"

I laughed half heartedly with tears still rolling from my eyes "I'm fine, will you meet me?"

"O-okay"

I ended the call, throwing my phone onto the bed staring nervously at it. "I'm such an idiot"

Unwrapping from my hugged position I pulled out a dark purple dress which cut into a v shape, the dress fit my body like a glove and enhanced my body as if I had more curves than I had without it. I wanted to insure Tom thought I looked good, I wanted to be genuinely wanted for once.

My hair was brushed and straightened, falling perfectly over either side of my shoulders. Makeup was not over the top- a nude lipstick with a mix of purple and black eyeshadow and small false lashes. "I will show you Henry, I am wanted"
I felt almost awful that I was essentially going to be seeing Tom just to spite Henry, but ultimately I felt so alone. And who knows, maybe Tom can bring back the feelings I had for him. Life was so much easier that way.

Slowly walking down the stairs I gulped back heavy mountains of saliva, scared to see Henry after our encounter. I was more nervous than I had been over the sex- more nervous than I probably have been since the wedding. Stupidly I felt like I was being disloyal, even though Henry hadn't committed to me. So who was I being unfaithful too?

Oh that's right, my heart

Standing in the kitchen with a glass of scotch accompanied with messy hair stood Henry in all his glory, looking like he was drunk. Seeing him this way made me want to leap into his arms and sob into his neck, letting him do the same before we would kiss and let our emotions run wild. But I couldn't, I needed to stay away from him like that. Henry wasn't good for me.

"Where are you going ?" Henry slurred, slamming the glass onto the counter with anger in his eyes. Tightly closing my fists I decided to walk up to him, my black heels clacking against the floor. "None of your business"

Henry looked taken back, quickly grabbing my shoulders "it is my business !"

I pushed him backwards, not happy with how he was talking to me. Those familiar tears prickling my eyes "why is it your business ? You don't own me, you don't love me-

"Melanie you love me?" Henry quietened his gaze staring into my very soul.

"No. I don't mean that" I spat harshly, hating how he was making me feel again.

Henry's eyes looked dulled and emotionless, different from the anger that took over them not long ago. "Have a good night"

Raising my eyebrows, hurting from his sudden lack of care just made me even more want to leave this place. The word 'love' clearly wasn't something he wanted to associate with me. I got the picture. "Right, bye"

Spinning round on my heel I took stride to the door, trying not to trip over my feet by how quickly I wanted to leave. "Asshole" is all I could mutter under my breath.
Not wanting to look back towards the self pitying man drowning in alcohol, why should I feel bad for him.

Jumping into my car I began to drive towards the restaurant me and Tom had booked, he was hesitant in meeting me for obvious reasons but I somehow convinced him after all this time, maybe it's because I was crying on the phone when we spoke- maybe he felt bad for me.

*

Henry POV

Just one more drink

Pouring myself yet another drink I shot it back into my throat, downing the burning contents.

Why am I feeling like this ?

Melanie had left to probably go see Tom, my whole body felt like it was twisting with nausea, though I couldn't bring myself to think about anyone else romantically than Chloe. I felt bad that I had been having sex with her, cuddling her at night and kissing her forehead randomly during breakfast. I created Melanie to be this way towards me, I'm the only one to blame. She was right, I need to choose.

Though all the memories with Chloe were almost haunting, the love I had or still have for her is weighing me down like one hundred bricks. It was the sort of love that takes your breath away and you cannot think of anything else. But then I got married and met a sweet, almost shy woman with also a fiery personality. I didn't think I could be so intrigued with someone before I met her. So what am I feeling ?

What am I doing?

Deciding to put the alcohol away, the smartest choice I've made for awhile I went into the living room, laying lazily on the sofa. End of the day Melanie made me feel all sorts of emotions but it wasn't comparable to Chloe. But then why does the thought of her seeing Tom bring me to my knees? Look at me, I am drunk, angry and upset.

Closing my eyes, I began to dream away these emotions- focusing on the comfort I had which was the blackness. Nothing could least take that away from me in this moment, my own company.

*

Melanie POV

Tapping my skinny fingers across my glass of wine I awaited for Tom to arrive, hoping I wasn't going to be stood up because that would be just my luck.

I was genuinely getting excited about seeing him, seeing that cheeky grin of his and messy dark hair he wore perfectly.

Checking the time I saw it was now 9pm which would mean Tom is now twenty minutes late, maybe he realised how dumb it was to see me.

"Melanie?" A voice peeped making me shudder and quickly snap my head round. That's when I saw him, Tom.

"T-Tom" launching up from my chair I wrapped my arms effortlessly around his neck, smelling his cologne that he used to always wear. "Sorry I'm late"

Almost in tears due to happiness I simply shook my head "don't be sorry, silly"

Tom had now sat down opposite me, a slight awkwardness growing between us which I could understand as to why. "So.. how's things?" I asked quietly, my voice clearly shaky.

"Yeah. Things have been good.. what about you? You were crying earlier when you called me"

Taking a big breath of air I responded half timidly "oh nothing, Henry just made me upset"

Tom knitted his brows together, his expression darkening "what did he do to you?"

Sipping my wine I decided I didn't want to tell Tom in full detail the situation, it wasn't fair for me to tell him. "Nothing, he is just annoying... which upsets me. He is very indecisive"

The same frowned expression didn't leave Tom, clearly not believing me "Tell me Mel-

"Can we not talk about Henry, please ? I came here to see you"

Nodding slightly in understanding Tom just gave me a weak smile, clearly configuring something in his head. "So why did you decide to see me? I told you last I didn't want to see you-"

"Are we ready to order?" A curvy framed woman with reddish hair cut in, her apron hanging neatly on her whilst a pen took place in between her fingers.

Both looking at each other in sync we nodded "I'll have the spaghetti carbonara please and Tom will have-

"Just a burger and chips please"

Nodding her head the waitress wrote down our orders and went towards the back. "Sorry I didn't ask if you wanted a drink"

Placing his hand in the air he cut me off suddenly "no it's fine!"

"Then please have some of my wine" I winked deviously, swirling the liquid in my glass.

"We have much to discuss"

*

After what felt like hours of talking and catching up my heart began to swell in my chest, this is what I wanted. I wanted a man who could fully look at me as if I was the only woman on the world, But I felt so undeserving of the attention he was giving me due to my growing feelings for Mr Cavill.

Tom's hair was as messy as usual, but not like how Henry's is. Tom didn't own curls, it instead fell flatly across his cheeks and forehead, it was also longer than Henry's, stopping just passed his jawline. I wasn't sure as to why I was comparing but after awhile I felt myself drowned into Tom's eyes.

"It's really lovely to see you Melanie.."

Smiling weakly I nodded "and you Tom"

Given the time was now 11pm we decided to call it a night, getting up from our chairs we now walked slowly outside where the cold air hit us, creating chills up our spines. Our breathing visible with the condensation clouds.

Though all of a sudden Tom stopped walking, instead he looked frozen like a statue with a weight on his shoulders "what is it Tom?"

"I've fucking missed you Mel, so much"

Before I could continue Tom had pulled me in by my waist, planting a passionate kiss onto my lips, without a second thought I began to kiss him back, feeling my knees buckle from the combination of bitter, cold air and the way his kiss brought back a thousand memories.

For one split second, I forgot about Henry. I was finally kissing the man I have loved for years.

So why did I have so much guilt inside of my heart too.