aspen

"heyo." billie greeted as i got into the passenger seat of her matte black dodge challenger.

like she had suggested, we're hanging out before tour starts up. we're going to some coffee shop that she really likes and wants me to try.

"hi," i flashed a smile. "how's your morning so far?"

"i would say it's been great, but i woke up to my dog jumping on my face with muddy paws," she pressed her lips together in a thin line. "it was nice." she commented sarcastically.

"oh, wow—" i held back a laugh. "yeah, i bet that was nice. just amazing."

"he's such a fucking idiot," she laughed. "but i love him... but he's such a fucking idiot. he's so fucking stupid, but i fucking love him. i love him so much, but he's such a fucking idiot."

"did you say he was an idiot?" i raised a brow, which only made her let out another laugh.

"dude, back in december of 2020, that fool swallowed a whole fucking octopus toy," she looked over at me with wide eyes and a dropped jaw as she stopped at a red light. "i had never fucking seen the toy in my life either!"

"i, like... the only explanation that i can think of is that he saw it at the dog park that i take him to. it must've just been there, and he picked it up, and some other dog probably wanted it... and he just swallowed it. as a fucking— defense mechanism or some shit, i don't fucking know."

"a defense mechanism?!" i repeated as i laughed. "what?"

"bro, i don't fucking know!" she hit the top of her steering wheel. "like i said, he's an idiot, so he thinks in idiotic ways."

"i mean, you've got a point, i guess." i snickered.

"anyways," she sighed before glancing at me with a smile. "how was your morning?"

"it was good, i guess. me and xavier got into a fight over the last bit of fruity pebbles, so that was fun." i snorted.

"i mean, you gotta do what you gotta do." she shrugged with a chuckle.

§§§

when we got to the coffee shop, billie walked over to me and held her hand out for mine. out of the corner of my eye, i saw some paparazzi a bit away. knowing our management would be pissed if i didn't, i placed my hand in her's.

"woah, your hands are soft." she complimented.

"your's are too!" my eyes widened. "they're really fucking soft, holy shit."

she let out a small laugh at that before swinging our hands between us as she lead me into the coffee shop. we ordered our coffees before sitting at one of the tables that were outside. surprisingly, no one came up to us and asked for a picture or anything.

"okay, so nothing against you," she clarified. "but i really hate that we have to do this shit."

"yeah, me too," i sighed. "it's really annoying, honestly."

"i can see the articles and shit now; 'billie eilish finally comes out' 'billie eilish is gay confirmed' and all that shit," she ranted. "like, it's gonna push that narrative on me, and i really don't want that."

"and don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad with that, i'm not saying that, no. it's just that i don't even know if i am or not, and it's annoying that everybody just assumes and tries to force it on me."

i frowned as i listened to her rant. i honestly can't even imagine being in her position. i mean, the entire internet has tried to label her as gay and tried to force her to come out, even though they don't even know her sexuality.

"like... at this point, i'm not opposed to anything. women are beautiful, men are... okay, i just— i'm up for anything, but i'm not gonna label myself. hell, even if i knew what my sexuality is, that's not something i'm ready to just share with the entire damn internet, you know?" she raised a brow.

"yeah, i get you. just take your time with trying to figure it out though, okay? there's no rush. you don't owe anybody an explanation; your sexuality is your concern, and your concern only," i assured her. "you don't have to label yourself either. if you want to stay unlabeled, that's perfectly okay."

she placed her hand over mine, which was resting on the table. she looked into my eyes. "thank you, seriously. it means a lot."

i glanced down at our hands, then back at her. i could feel my face ever so slightly, and i mentally cursed myself. "yeah, of course! don't mention it."

she flashed a smile before leaning back in her seat, though she made no attempt at moving her hand. she took a sip of her coffee. "that feels really good to get off of my chest. thanks for letting me rant."

"it's no problem, for real." i assured her.

i took a sip of my coffee as well.

"so, you excited for tour?" she asked, obviously excited herself.

"yeah, i am," i grinned. "i've only played one show since the pandemic started, and you've got to play at festivals and shit."

"you've only played one show? i could've sworn you played two," she looked confused, though she spoke with a smile. "but yeah, i got to play 'life is beautiful' as my first show back, which was amazing, and 'firefly' and 'gov ball.'"

"wait, wasn't iheart radio your first show back?" my brows furrowed a bit.

she made a face and waved her hand. "yeah..."

i let out a loud laugh. "that crowd was terrible, so it doesn't count, huh?" i snickered.

"exactlyyy." she dragged out with a smile.

§§§

"yo!" i greeted xavier.

"ayo. how'd your date go?"

"date?" my brows furrowed together.

he didn't answer, instead holding his phone up to show me an article. it had paparazzi pictures of me and billie from earlier, and it was talking about how it might have been a date.

"it wasn't a date... but i guess it's good that everyone thinks it is, considering that's what our management wants." i rolled my eyes.

"yeah," he snorted. "you two do seem pretty close in the pictures though." he wiggled his eyebrows.

"there's nothing there, dude, don't even." i waved him off before heading to my room.

§§§

a/n yoo

thoughts?

is there anything that y'all wanna see?

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