(056 - The Awakening)

Song of the chapter: Devil Doesn't Bargain by Alec Benjamin.

I don't know why this song came to my mind when I titled the chapter. Then as I was writing, I realized that the song really embodies the first part of this chapter, majorly Jidenna's POV. I'm sure you'll understand what I mean when you read.

Plus, I love Alec Benjamin 😌✨.

Oh! And we are at 90k Views and 25k Votes😩🔥! Okruu! Thank you guys so much for being here from the beginning to now. I love y'all (except Haliyah 😑) Demmers for life🔥🔥 (if you know, you know🌚)

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𝐉𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐀
(Jidenna Leo Okojie)

TK's eyes were blazing red as he stared between Adela and me with utmost disdain. So red that I wasn't sure if it was because he was angry, or because he was possibly high. And the probability of him being high on school grounds was seventy-five percent so I won't put that past him at all.

Either way, it wasn't looking good.

Adela pulled away slightly, stepping away from me a little bit to create ample space between us, and I was grateful that she could feel the rising tension in the room. Somehow, I felt that she wasn't doing it because she wanted to. She was doing it because she didn't want to put me in an awkward position with TK.

But personally, I wasn't exactly thrilled that TK had interrupted. Especially since he was glaring hard at Adela like she brutally murdered his cat or destroyed his most expensive Nikes. He was looking at her as if he wanted to bury her six feet under with just his eyes.

I didn't like it. At All.

"TK," I called his name, trying to make him tear his gaze away from Adela and look at me. It worked, because he looked right at me, eyebrows tugged up.

"Care to explain what's going on here?" His eyes darted between the dark-skinned girl and me as he asked - no, demanded from me.

Before I could respond, Adela scoffed out a humorless laugh, shaking her head.

"I can't be here for this," She muttered, more to herself than to us but due to the quietness of the room, we could hear.

Before I could think deeply about what her statement must have meant, she looked up at me, and with a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, she said, "I have to go. I'll call you,"

"Yes, GET OUT!"

My eyes widened automatically at that sudden snap from TK.

"Tekena!–"

"–Don't yell at me."

Adela and I spoke together, but her statement made all the words at the tip of my tongue die.

I turned to look at her and found her already looking at TK. Her gaze on him was neutral and her voice had been calm but the warning undertone was as clear as day. If TK was baffled that she was talking back at him, he sure didn't show it. But Adela wasn't even done with him.

With her gaze still trained squarely on him, she spoke again.

"Don't EVER raise your voice at me, Tekena Tamuno," She spelled out without batting an eyelid, his full name rolling off her tongue like sweet poison, luscious yet venomous. I had to stop myself from gapping, staring at Adela in awe.

"And just in case you are not hearing clearly, Yes, that's a warning." Came her point-blank conclusion.

Damn! My eyes widened even more.

Now that sure earned a reaction from TK. He veered back a bit, his brows quirked up in something that looked between astonishment and disbelief. He kind of also looked amused, looking at her like he was just seeing her for the first time. It was so obvious he hadn't been expecting that sort of comeback from her at all.

But then, it would be ludicrous to underestimate the power of Adela's words. Talking from experience, I knew firsthand how they could destabilize a person. I mean, TK was more thick-skinned than I was and this was absolutely nothing compared to the things she has said to me, but Adela's words held serious weight.

And with TK's reaction, this was certainly no exception.

I couldn't help the stubborn smile that kept tugging at my lips, even when I kept biting the insides of my mouth to stop it.

"I'll see you later," She didn't wait for TK to think of a response back before she spoke to me again, her lips mimicking my smile.

"I'll call you," It sounded like I was making a promise to her... and honestly, it was a promise. She nodded, stretching out to give my hand a small, reassuring squeeze before she walked out of the room, not sparing TK another glance.

When she was out and I turned to TK, he was already looking at me, giving me the same hard stare that he was giving Adela a minute ago.

Here we go. I exhaled.

"So, you guys are on I'll call you basis now, uhn?" His tone was both mocking and incredulous like he couldn't believe Adela and I had gotten so close. I forced myself not to roll my eyes at TK.

As if I knew he'd make such a big deal about this. And we haven't even started talking about the real reason he was here.

"You are making such a big deal out of something that is not that deep," I stated matter-of-factly, shaking my head as if it would dissuade whatever thought he had cooked up in his head.

It did not.

"Am I really?" He asked, folding his hands around his chest with a frown marred across his face. "Because I legit just walked in on the both of you hugging, and you also stood there and said nothing while she insulted me!"

"She didn't insult you," I quickly negated, and his frown deepened. "You yelled at her unprovoked, TK. What were you expecting? For her to stand still and allow you to walk over her? Adela is not easily intimated by anyone, not even me–"

"–Or you haven't had the balls to put her in her place." He interjected harshly, his words pricking me and hurting more than they were probably intended to.

Ouch.

I ignored that statement.

"Adela is not your problem, TK. I am," I said to him, knowing exactly why he was here in the first place. "Attack me and not her," I told him.

"Oh, I'll attack her with all I've got!" He spat out, not listening to me. "Because now I know the real reason you pulled that crazy and stupid stunt in the hallway!" He furious jabbed his index finger towards the senior block.

There it is. The real reason why he's here.

"Tekena–" I started, but he didn't let me continue.

"She put you up to it, didn't she?" He asked incredulously, almost rhetorically because he seemed to have conjured the answer to that question in his mind already.

"She was the one that asked you to put everything on the line!" He yelled, anger sipping through his voice in waves that baffled me. "Your reputation, your prestige, Every Single thing you have ever worked for now down the drain because of her!" He thundered, sounding and looking more furious than he should.

What is this?

"Adela had nothing to do with what happened in the hallway," I debunked immediately. "Yes, she made me understand why I needed to do what I did, but I made that decision Myself. Not because of Adela but because I owe it to Hilary and the guys! Because I owe it to Myself, TK."

He scoffed.

"At what cost, Jidenna? Social Suicide? You put everything on the line!" He snapped.

"And I'm willing to put more on the line if that will get Hilary to see how sorry I am!" I retorted, my voice coming out harsher than intended, echoing through quiet walls.

TK stared back at me, his expression suddenly blank, and immediately, I knew he didn't understand what it felt like to live the way I'd been living for the last three months. Detached, Alone, and filled with so much guilt, I feared it would consume me whole. And it almost did consume me.

Until she came.

"You don't understand what it felt like," I pointed out, making my voice as calm as possible. "This past few months have been nothing but torture for me and as my best friend, you didn't even notice that I wasn't myself –"

"–That's unfair," His voice came out in an unpleasant growl, cutting my words off. "If there was anyone that noticed, Jidenna, It was me. I noticed how much what happened affected you and I tried to help you through it–"

"No, you didn't help me through it," It was my turn to cut him off, and he quirked his brow in question as if he didn't expect me to say that. "If there was anything you did, it was that you downplayed my feelings and kept asking me to move on when I was being eaten up by guilt. That wasn't helping." I told him point-blank.

He didn't say anything after that. He just stared at me like he was newly seeing me, having the same look of astonishment and disbelief he had when Adela clapped back at him. I wasn't sure what exactly was unbelievable about any of this. The fact that I was saying the truth, or the fact that I was countering him.

It was unusual. Even for me.

After all, TK is always right.

Not today, apparently. A small voice at the back of my head chimed.

"I was just trying to help the only way I thought was best," He said in a whisper when he finally found his voice. Somehow, I understood what he meant. Telling me to fashi and move on was the way he knew how to do his thing, was the way that worked for him.

Not me. I can't live like that.

I exhaled.

"I'm not like you, Tekena," I stated, my voice still in a whisper. "I get how you do your things but I can't live like that," I was trying to pick my words carefully so that I won't end up saying something hurtful. "I can't live, knowing that I hurt someone I really care about - people I really care about. You can, but I can't,"

There was no other way to say it. That was the only way it could come out without having to spell out exactly what I meant. And I didn't have to because TK was smart enough to pick up what I meant because his face hardened as soon as I was done.

He knew I was talking about what happened with Dawn.

Till tomorrow, I don't know exactly what happened that day. I wasn't in school for the entire, courtesy of my Father, and before I could watch any of the videos that were posted on the group chat, they were all taken down. It was Hilary and Kizito that had given me a detailed explanation of what had happened. When I confronted TK, he debunked it.

"...It's an exaggeration," He had said, brushing my confrontation aside with a wave. "I broke with Dawn in public, big deal. She won't be the first and neither will she be the last."

"You didn't have to break things off with her in public, TK!" I had snapped at him, obviously not buying into the excuse. "You weren't interested in the relationship again, fine. But, you could have just let her down gently... and in private."

He had laughed like I cracked the funniest joke.

"And have her following me around like a lap dog?" He had asked, the question both incredulous and rhetorical. "No, thank you. Dawn is flipping obsessed with me and letting her down like that was the only way I could get her off my back for good. She'll be fine. She'll get over it soon enough,"

Dawn didn't get over it as fast as TK had said she would, but he didn't seem to care about that at all. It made me wonder if Hilary and Kizito had really exaggerated it, or if TK had just downplayed the truth. Either way, back then, I didn't want to have to be caught in the middle of having to choose between my best friend and my very first friends so I maintained a neutral ground.

That was when things between Kizito and I began to strain. Dawn didn't put me in that position to make a decision and Hilary was my girlfriend. Semeeha, well, was Semeeha.

Thinking back now, there's something awfully messed up about everything that happened and the way I handled things. And honestly, deep down I think I've always known something was messed up about it but never acknowledged it.

Because you keep running away from responsibilities. That still small voice was back, and it wasn't taunting like the dark voice from earlier.

Well, not anymore. I'm done running away from my responsibilities.

"I had to do what I did today," I spoke up after what seemed like hours of silence stretching between TK and me. "Hilary deserved a lot better than what I did to her. She deserved a lot more than the apology I gave today. I owed it to her to clear her name in front of the entire class, TK, and that's what I did. I don't regret it for one second."

TK scoffed out a humorless laugh, shaking her head slowly.

"Do you honestly think it's going to make her feel any different about you?" He asked me, his voice having a teensy bit mocking undertone to it... or I might just have been imagining it.

"What?" His question confused me.

"Jidenna, Hilary is only going to hate you more after the stunt you pulled today." He deadpanned, not mincing his words even a bit.

It rendered me speechless, making me frown. And somehow, that seemed to edge him on because he just continued like he never stopped talking.

"You think clearing her name in front of the entire class will automatically put you in her good books?" He chuckled humorlessly again. "That's fücking bull shit and deep down, you know it too.–

She's going to hate you even more for putting her on the spot and embarrassing her publicly, for the second time," He held up his index and middle finger to indicate second. "Maybe that's not how you meant it to be but that's definitely how she'll see it at the end of the day,"

I felt attacked.

"You broke her heart, Jidenna, and her trust. One stupid grand gesture won't fix how much you shattered her," I tried not to wince as his use of words cut deep. "She's going remember it for life and she's going to keep hating you for everything you did, especially with what happened to her brother,–"

That one went straight into my guts and almost knocked me out.

"So, if you are think for one second that you guys will come back to being all buddy-buddy and lovey-dovey after what happened today," He jabbed his thumb towards our block. "You had better dead that mindset now-now because you cannot easily buy her forgiveness. You cannot buy all of their forgiveness. Kill that thought right now!"

His words knocked the breath right out of me and rendered me speechless. An agonizing silence filled the room as soon as he was done talking. We stared at each other for what felt like the longest two minutes of my life, TK looking at me like he had just dropped the biggest banger of the century.

And somehow, he had.

TK just laid all my fears out unapologetically, his words hitting me left and right with premium discouragement. With everything he just said, It was almost as if I had wasted all my time and energy trying to prove to everyone and myself that I am not a bad person because, at the end of the day, Hilary and the others won't buy it. No one will.

At the end of the day, I'm not going to be forgiven. At the end of the day, I'm still the Bad Guy, the Demon that ruined everything.

His words almost destabilized me. Almost.

Because forgiveness was never the purpose of my apology in the first place.

"There is nothing to kill because that thought was never there in the first place," I spoke up after what felt like hours, my voice calm but my words countering every single thing TK said.

He was shocked, staring back at me with his brows furrowed and forehead creased in a slight frown, eyes squinted like he wanted to see me clearly.

I exhaled.

"TK, I did not apologize to Hilary because I wanted her forgiveness. I need the forgiveness, yes, but that was not the reason I went the extra mile today. I went the extra mile because I needed her to see that I am sorry for everything I did and I regret them. That's all," I said to him.

"And you think she'd believe you," There was that mocking undertone again. I chose to ignore it, shrugging in response.

"She has every reason not to believe me, so if she doesn't, it's completely fine by me," TK quirked his eyes brows in mild bewilderment. "All I know is that I've done my own part in giving her the closure she needs. Let the entire school hate me. At least they don't hate her anymore and I'm good with that," I concluded with another shrug.

"You can't handle the hate from our classmates, Jidenna," TK said, his words precise and deadpan, almost attacking and aggressive. "You and I know you don't have the skin to take it."

Because of the neutrality of his tone, I couldn't tell if he was mocking/insulting me, or he was just being plain honest. Either way, my lips tugged in a small sad smile at the reminder that my classmates won't let me off the hook easily. And in all honesty, just like TK had said I wasn't even sure I had the skin to take or stomach anything they dish out.

But this was my cross to bear for being a certified ass hat.

Besides, I have Adela.

But with TK, I wasn't sure, especially with the way he was acting about the whole thing right now.

So, I had to verify.

"But at least I have you right?" I asked, and he stayed silent, only staring back at me. "Whatever happens, you'll have my back, right?" I asked as I stared back at him expectantly, waiting for his response.

Tekena stared back at me for a moment before his lips broke into a small smile. The first genuine smile on his face since he came in here.

"Silly of you to ask that," He teased as he tried to put my mind at ease and I chuckled back lightly.

"It's you and me, Jidenna. It's always going to be you and me," He brought his hands up for a bro-handshake and I met him mid-way. "You are my best friend. Of course, I've got your back. Always. Till the end."

Tekena promised me, and I nodded slowly, trying to ease myself with his words of confirmation like I have always done in the past, repeating them in my head like a mantra of assurance.

...You are my best friend. Of course, I've got your back...

... Always...

...Till the end.

Only that this time unlike other times, I didn't feel at ease.

It felt strange. Really strange.

Like a light switch, memories of everything that has been going on for the past few months came flooding right back into my mind as if those words unlocked the door that had been keeping them at bay. Memories of how TK has not been having my back as much as I thought.

And suddenly, that statement of him having my back always and till the end didn't hold as much weight as it used to.

I mean, he hasn't been speaking to me for weeks, but then he has an opinion about a decision I made for myself, by myself. He was in school all through what happened today, probably even watched it live and direct, but still waited till this moment to come and meet me.

Today, TK left me high and dry, all on my own. And come to think of it, this wasn't