036 - More Revelations...

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(036 - More Revelations...)

Who has missed Simi's POV? Yeah, me too. Would have loved to write in his POV a little more but the opportunity hasn't presented itself. Don't worry, this update and the next will make up for it because they are both on his POV.

I kinda feel this chapter is tacky, so bear with me. But you guys will be the judge. Let me know what you think.

Yeah, let's dive in.


• • • •

(RECAP : SIMI'S POV)

"Do you know what Dyscalculia is?"

Hilary asked me again when I didn't reply her the first time. And I didn't reply because I was repeating the word in my mind, trying to remember if I have heard it somewhere before, but it didn't ring a bell. Though, it did sound familiar, like I have heard a word related to it.

What is Dyscalculia? I asked myself.

I looked at her in silence, blinking in complete confusion while wondering what Dyscalculia was and if it had to do with me almost having a nervous breakdown because of maths.

I was terrible at math, or any subject that had calculations in general. But my reaction to the equation Hilary had given me to solve was a whole different thing entirely.

It was a first. A very scary first.

My expression must have given away my confusion because she just muttered a silent okay, saying after that it's alright if I didn't know what it was. Then she asked another question. This time, I was very familiar with what she asked me.

"Do you know what Dyslexia is?" She asked, and I nodded. Most people were very familiar with that word. They might not know what exactly it meant but they knew it was a learning disorder.

"Dyslexia is a learning disorder that has to do with difficulty in reading." I gave her a simple explanation of what it was, still trying to catch my breath from the episode I almost had.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of haziness as I took the bottled water sitting on the table to down another gulp. I had just taken one gulp when I realized Hilary had suddenly gone silent. When I turned to face her, she looked deep in thoughts.

Wait, does she think I have dyslexia? Was my exact thought.

"Hilary, I don't have dyslexia," I said to her, cutting her thoughts off because she looked at me immediately. "You know I read." I reminded her since we just talked not too long ago about how I was bibliophilic. She nodded.

I don't think I've ever had that much difficulty in reading. Asides from the time when I used to be very slow at it, which was all in the past now, reading has always been pretty easy for me. The words were not hard for me to comprehend and even if they were, I used to have a dictionary by my side back then.

It was one thing that I enjoyed doing in my free time, asides from taking a few laps in the swimming pool.

There's no way I could have dyslexia. It wasn't possible.

"I don't think you have dyslexia either, Simi." Hilary stated calmly, "That's why I asked first if you knew what Dyscalculia is." She added and I looked at her, waiting for her to tell me what that word meant because it was strange to me.

What was it?

"Simi, there is more than one learning disorder aside from Dyslexia. So many other learning disorders that people are not familiar with." She informed me. That revelation took me aback, shocking me in a way that I wasn't sure how to react.

I was no island of knowledge. I have never prided myself in knowing everything or having a university knowledge of everything. But somehow, I feel I should have known about this one. I should have found out about this. Found out that there were more learning disorders than Dyslexia.

I could bet seventy-five percent of the world's population had no idea about this as well

"And Dyscalculia is one of them?" I asked and Hilary nodded slowly as if she was suddenly too careful to use her words.

Then it just clicked. Like someone doused me from head to toe with cold water, the realization dawned on me. Even from the name, I was able to figure out what was peculiar about this particular learning disorder.

And immediately I did, I felt my heart fall deep into the pit of my stomach, even without confirming it yet.

"Let me guess," I began, trying not to allow my voice to sound as crestfallen as I felt. "It's a learning disorder that's peculiar to calculations. People with dyscalculia cannot solve anything with calculations."

I wasn't asking because I was almost too certain I was right. And Hilary confirmed it just by one nod of her head, her eyes trained on me.

I cannot solve anything with calculations...

"You think I have dyscalculia." I wasn't asking her again. I just stated the obvious fact, my eyes trained on her. Hilary had a lot of emotions in her eyes but I could only point three: worry and concern, intertwined with uncertainty. I wasn't even sure what to make of them.

"I can't say for sure," She replied, her voice low, gentle but still filled the same uncertainty. I watched as she carefully stretched her hand out and placed it on my knee, giving me a gentle reassuring squeeze that did nothing to reassure me. "You will have to get a doctor to make the diagnosis." She added, but I shook my head.

I must have given her a reason to think I have it. Why? I asked myself

"Why do you think I have it? I must have given you a reason to think I have it." I voiced out my thoughts. Hilary let out a deep breath, taking her hand off my knee as she shrugged.

"You just exhibited a hint of calculation anxiety." She answered. "You nearly had a panic attack because of a maths question, Simi. It's one of the symptoms of Dyscalculia and it's a very serious one."







𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀
(Simisola André Jordan)

My feet tapped nervously on the tiled floor, my eyes focused on my hands that were clasped together, fingers intertwined tightly between each other. I was very aware of the chatters and movements in the background but still, they all sounded so distant, so far away because my mind was on a rollercoaster on its own.

I took deep, calming breaths to ease myself of tension, tightening my hands together till my knuckles got white in a bid to calm myself down. But, nothing was working and my heart kept pounding rapidly as we waited for the test results.

My test results.

"Jordan?" A voice pierced through my clouded mind like a knife, causing my head to jerk up on instinct. But before I could stand up, my mom was already on her feet, answering the young nurse that had called our surname.

"Yes?" Mum answered. The nurse walked closer and nodded, beaming at my mum. My heart was still beating rapidly against my chest, anxiety building up in my body, half anticipating what the nurse was going to say.

"The doctor will send for you very soon. Please, be patient." She said, and my mum answered with a smile, nodding as she returned to sit down beside me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, but my leg was still shaking in anxiety.

And the anxiety just happened to increase when my Dad, who was seated at the other side of me, let out a loud hiss.

Yes, he's also here... against my better judgment.

"We should wait again?" He asked rhetorically, his voice laced with maximum impatience. "When I said coming here wasn't necessary, you didn't listen to me. This is a complete waste of my time, Kendra." He complained, glancing at his watch before muttering some incoherent words to himself, before hissing for the second time.

Mum, of course, wasn't having it with him.

"Trying to find out what's wrong with your son is suddenly a waste of your time, Demilade?" She question back, her voice quiet because of people passing but still had some firmness and edge to it.

I shrunk down where I was seated between the two of them, feeling even more uneasy.

"I didn't say that." Dad defended, his voice calmer since he was trying to appease her so that she won't get angry with him. He knew better than to get her angry, especially with him.

But mum was already upset.

"But that's what you implied." She retorted, her voice harder, it made me shrink even further into my seat, my hand now over my face. "Demilade, we are finally getting a lead on what is going on with our son academically and you don't even want to pay attention to it." She sounded pained and I sighed, shaking my head inconspicuously.

The last thing I wanted was for them to argue because of me, but I think that ship has sailed a long time ago.

"I'm not paying attention to it because it's absurd and very unlikely." He retorted back. "Kendra, this has been going on for years. How come we are just finding out now? Doesn't that seem far-fetched to you? Because it does to me."

"Let the doctor's result come out, then we will conclude if it's far-fetched or not," Mum stated shrewdly. Dad opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "And while we are expecting him, you are going to sit here and wait. If there is any meeting after this, you are going to be present. Do you understand?"

"Kendra, I have something I'm supposed to..." Dad began, shaking his head already like he was going to disagree with her but the look she gave him shut him up with immediate effect.

"Demilade, do you understand?" She repeated herself and he nodded, muttering a barely audible yes ma'am, leaning back against his seat in a more relaxed posture. He might as well get relaxed because as long as mum's here, he can't leave.

He respected her too much.

He loved her too much.

In cases like this, she was the boss and he couldn't question her. Twenty-six years of marriage and they were still madly in love with each other. So much in love that sometimes, they acted like teenagers... especially when they were arguing.

It still surprised me how much control mum had over dad in times like this, especially when the arguments were about me. Dad would do everything in his power to make sure mum gets what she wants, even if her requests were always intertwined with mine.

Compromise comes with love. I thought to myself, looking at my Dad who occasionally checked his watch.

I must have been staring at him for too long because his head turned sharply and his eyes met mine. My breath caught in my throat at that instant, and as much as I tried to will myself to look away from his intense gaze, I couldn't. I remained transfixed under his stare.

He wasn't glaring at me, but he wasn't smiling either. I tried to read the emotions on his face but his expression was stoic and unreadable. Though, his eyes were enough to tell me that this was all my fault. Mum arguing with him, was all my fault.

I looked away immediately, looking down to my lap. He was probably meant to be in an important business meeting that morning, but because of me, mum stopped has stopped him from going.

Maybe telling them about Hilary's discovery had been a bad idea. What just happened was proof enough that I should have kept it to myself and figured everything out on my own.

We had to cut the tutorials short because I wasn't in the right state of mind anymore. From the way Hilary was so reluctant to leave, I could tell she wanted to stay with me, and help me figure this... whatever it was out. I didn't want her to leave either, didn't want my day with her to end on such a note.

I can still remember the look on her face, the subtle body language that I could pick up from a mile away. She wanted me to tell her to stay. She wanted me to say it with my mouth. But I didn't, because I wasn't sure how to.

So, she left... because I didn't stop her.

But then it gave me time to do my research on Dyscalculia. I spent almost three hours, looking through several sites and reading several articles, looking up what it was and if I have been experiencing other symptoms asides from calculation anxiety.

And I found them. Four other symptoms that I have been exhibiting and had no idea that I was exhibiting them because I thought they were completely normal since I was just bad at calculations.

Poor sense of numbers and estimation. Check.

Being slow to perform calculations. Check.

Having weak mental arithmetic skills. Check.

Forgetting mathematical procedures, especially as they become more complex. Double Check.

I had been destabilized after that, my mind thrown into turmoil.

How did I not know that I have a learning disorder? How did it not occur to me? If the diagnosis comes out positive, what will happen? Will I be taken out of school?

These thoughts were enough to terrify the fuck out of me.

I had immediately told mum about it when she came home from work and she had taken it even more seriously than I did. What I didn't expect however was her telling Dad about it over dinner. Of course, he dismissed it but she wasn't having it.

That's why we were presently at Atlantic Cove Teaching Hospital Complex, waiting for my test results. Trust me, they weren't just ordinary medical tests and that's what made me even more terrified.

"Simi,"

My head jerked up at my mum's calm voice, and I looked up to meet her eyes. She was staring at me, worry creased over her forehead and concern evident in her eyes. She must have been watching me for a while, must have seen the conflict of emotions in my expression because that would explain why she looked so worried.

I didn't answer her, didn't know what to say to her. I just allowed her to see me, bare like that, scared and terrified out of my mind for what was to come.

She sighed, throwing her hand around my shoulder. She didn't need to tell me before I rested my head on her shoulder, exhaling deeply when she pulled me close to herself, patting my shoulder softly.

"It's going to be okay." She whispered and I nodded, hoping by God that she was right.

The nurse from earlier came back to call us, letting us know that the doctor was ready to see us now. So, we followed her as she led the way to a wing of the hospital that read EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL DEPARTMENT. The name was enough to tell me that the result must have come out positive for us to be here.

When we got to a door, we stopped and the nurse knocked on it.

"Come in," a deep, manly voice called out and the nurse opened the door, holding it open for us to come in. Unlike the hallway and the waiting room that was quite chilly due to the air conditioning, this particular room felt lukewarm and it felt pretty nice.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jordan, I presume." The same deep voice that had called us in rang out. I stopped looking around the office and turned towards the direction the voice had come from, noticing the man standing behind the large table for the first time since we came in.

He was huge. Dark in complexion and huge. He was handsome, but also looked very intimidating.

"Yes," It was mum that had responded with a smile, exchanging a handshake with the man behind the desk who beamed back at her, showcasing his pearly whites. "Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to see us, Dr. Oyeniyi. We really appreciate it." She said.

The man shook his head, still beaming.

"It's no problem at all. It's my job and I'm very happy to help." Dr. Oyeniyi, as my mum had called him, answered. Then he turned to me, a welcoming smile stretched across his lips. Suddenly, he didn't feel intimidating anymore, and I could feel the tension in me reduce a bit.

"Hello, you must be Simisola." He began, his deep voice quite gentle and welcoming, that I immediately nodded, feeling slightly at ease. "It's nice to meet you. My name is David Oyeniyi, but you can just call me David. I'm an educational therapist, and I'll be your consultant for today."

I nodded again, mustering a small smile to flash back at him since he was smiling at me.

"Don't be nervous." He told me, holding his hands up and gesturing for me to calm down. "I am here to help you in whatever way I can. So, feel free to talk to me and open up about anything. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir" I answered, my voice coming out in a whisper. He chuckled deeply, waving his hand dismissively at me.

"Don't call me sir. I'm just twenty-nine." He teased and my smile widened a bit. I felt even more relaxed. "Please, take a seat." He offered us, gesturing to the three chairs in front of his desk.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Oyeniyi," Dad began as we took our seat, me between my parents of course. "But how long is this meeting going to take?" He asked. I had to stop myself from letting out a sigh.

I shouldn't have been surprised that Dad asked that question, but I was. Mostly because I thought that at least, he'd feign interest in the sight of a stranger. I wasn't looking at mum but I knew she had glared at him.

But, the young doctor only smiled in understanding.

"Giving the delicacy of the situation, I'd say this meeting is going to take a while," He told Dad, "But I'd advise that you stay to listen to what I have to say because you obviously want to know what's going with your son." He added in a business-like manner, glancing at me for a bit before looking back at my dad.

Dad didn't say anything and just nodded to what the doctor had said. Honestly, I'd prefer if he wasn't here at all. I didn't want him discrediting anything Dr. David would say.

"So, what did the test results say?" Mum asked the doctor, who turned away from my dad to look at her.

"Mrs. Jordan, whoever your source is, whoever told you that Simi has Dyscalculia is very correct. The test result shows that indeed, your son has the learning disorder." He stated shrewdly, and a gasp escaped mum's lips.

I saw it coming. I saw that response coming from a mile away. Why then did it still hurt like I wasn't expecting it?

Hilary was right. I have dyscalculia. I thought to myself as I felt my heart drop even further down my stomach.

"What!" Dad exclaimed, in surprise. I knew he was only shocked because he had been proven wrong. Somehow, it made me a little happy that this wasn't farfetched like he had called it earlier.

But of course, Dr. David didn't see it that way. His next statement showed that he had interpreted Dad's outburst to be one of mortification.

"Don't worry, it's not a deadly disease or something." He told my parents, trying to calm them down, especially mum who looked quite pale. "Dyscalculia is a learning disorder and it can be managed, no matter how late the diagnosis is." He added.

I heard mum sigh before I felt her hand on mine, holding on to me reassuringly. But, I wasn't getting reassured in any way.

"Can we get more enlightenment on what this... Dyscalculia of a thing is? What causes it?"

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