(029 - Imperfections.)

Hey Guys! Here you go! Enjoy ❤️

(P. S. There is an important notice in the Author's note below, please read *even though it doesn't apply to everyone* 😌)

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𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐇𝐀

Bitch!

Bitch!!

Bitch!!!

That was the only word that kept ringing in my mind as I schemed through Gigi Esho's Instagram page for the tenth time today.

Yes, the tenth. Trust me, it's still the shortest I've gone looking through her page.

There was nothing special about the page. She didn't have up the three-quarter of the followers I did, nothing close to the amount of social media presence that I had. Compared to me on social media, especially Instagram, Gigi Esho was lesser, a commoner, and a Nobody.

(Gigi's Instagram page)

Yet here I was, going through her page like a creepy stalker who had nothing better to do with her life.

Her posts were only twenty-seven. She only had five pictures where her face was visible. Most of the pictures that dominated the page were pictures of her running on a track, or pictures of her in several outfits... revealing outfits if I might add, cutting her face off.

There was this recent one that I just couldn't stop looking at even if I tried. It was a mirror selfie of her in a bikini, showing off her flawless and blemish-free honey skin.

Gigi Esho has never been conservative about her body, always comfortable with it. Social media didn't deter her from being herself. Why would she even want to hide a body as perfect as hers?

That was one of the very many things I hated and about her. Also one of the very many things I admired about her, in as much as I hate to admit. Her ability to keep being herself, everywhere and anywhere. And I'm guessing it was one of the many things Kizito loved about her.

One of the many things that had him completely smitten by her... that made him easily fall in love with her.

Bitch!

It's been two weeks since the night of the party. Two weeks since the Spin the Bottle game... that awful night which will forever be ingrained in my memory. The night I had to sit down and watch them kiss each other, enduring a million daggers that went into my heart as I watched them

No matter how much I tried to forget it, I couldn't. That night, I tried to console myself that it was just a kiss for the game and it meant absolutely nothing. But deep down, I knew it didn't mean nothing. There was no way it could have meant nothing, not with how intense it was. I fucking felt the spark, the chemistry radiating from them that night,

The love...

And as if Hilary and Dawn's continuous blabbing about how they were shipping Kizi and her... how they'd make such an amazing couple wasn't enough, Kizi just had to drop the dime about how he felt for her, how they felt for each other.

Since when?

When did it all start?

How did I not notice this before?

Why did this all have to happen when my feeling for Kizito was just starting to get stronger?

All these questions have been playing in my head. Even though Kizito basically answered a majority of them that night when he dropped us off. Still, his answers were not enough for me. They were not enough for me to just accept that this was how things were going to be from now on.

"Semeeha, come on." He called to me as I tried to escape and walk into the house. "Can we talk?" He asked.

Against my better judgment, I stopped, standing still in the middle of his compound, completely enchanted by his voice... by the way he called my name.

But, I didn't show it. I didn't show how much just the way he said my name had affected me. I didn't turn around, keeping a stoic expression, and waited for Dawn and Hilary to enter the house before I turned around to face Kizito.

He was standing right there, leaning against the hood of his car, staring right at me. He was keeping a normal, seemingly harmless posture but it did nothing to calm my racing heart. If anything, it accelerated it. My heart was thumping heavily against my rib cage, just because my handsome best friend was looking at me,

My handsome best friend who I was hopelessly in love with but was clearly in love with someone else. Someone I despised like the devil himself.

"Semeeha" He called again, that deep - alluring voice of his piercing through my mind smoothly. I looked up, only to realize that he was already away from his car, and was now standing close to me. I averted my gaze with my arms folded across my chest, unresponsive.

I heard him sigh.

"You don't seem too happy about Gigi and me." He pointed out and I froze.

Gigi and I. Meaning, Gigi and Kizito - Kizito and Gigi. There was now a "him and her". It was just a matter of time before they start using the collective pronoun "We".

I cringed at the thought.

"That look has just proven that you are certainly not happy." His voice again tore through my thoughts. This time I looked at him, my brows furrowed in question.

"What look?" I asked, almost demanding because my voice came off hard and defensive. And he noticed.

"That look you have on your face right now." He answered nonetheless, gesturing to my face. "That look that says you are not happy about Gigi and me, just like the same one you had on throughout the drive. And that tone you just used proved the obvious fact." He stated.

There was silence right after that. Kizito was staring at me, reading me. I tried to keep up the stoic expression so that he wouldn't read me too easily and deeply.

"Why?" He asked after the moment of silence and my frown deepened slightly. That question was so annoying, it made me want to scream.

You want to know why I am not happy for you and Gigi, Kizito? It's because I'm in love with you! I'm hopelessly in love with you but you decided to choose her over me! Over your best friend! I'm supposed to be your first choice!

All of that and more were the answers I wanted to give him, answers I wanted to scream at him. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. All he knew was that I wasn't happy or excited about Him and Gigi like Dawn, Hilary and most likely the rest of the school were. There were so many reasons that could elicit that behavior.

So instead, I asked him a question of my own. A question that has been on the tip of my tongue all these began.

"Why her?"

Kizito didn't reply. He just stared at me, hands folded across his chest. I tried to concentrate and not let my eyes stray to his bulging biceps. I kept my eyes on his.

"Of all the girls in Crestview... in the entire world even," I continued when he didn't reply. "You just had to pick her. Why?"

"You can't choose who you fall for, Semeeha." Was his simple reply, a very simple reply that annoyed the hell out of me. I was on the verge of screaming at him again, on the verge of telling him that what he said was utter and complete bullshit.

But kept my cool and maintained a poker face.

"But you knew I didn't like her." I countered, my tone rising a bit and becoming hard. "That was enough for you to choose, Kizito." That last statement was enough to earn a reaction from him.

His eyebrows quirked in a mixed expression of question and shock because of what I said. I still maintained my stoic expression, waiting for him to speak. And he did.

"So you are saying I should have gotten rid of my feelings because you don't like her?" He asked, confirming the obvious interpretation of what I had said. I nodded once, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Exactly."

He chuckled, shaking his head.

"That's rather selfish, Semeeha." He stated matter-of-factly.

He was right. What I said was selfish. But I was way past caring at the point. If only he had put my feelings into consideration, we won't be having this conversation. Heck, he'd have rejected the kiss.

"Well, you were first the selfish one when you decided to fall for her!" I snapped back and this time, he veered back sharply to the point of almost falling over, staring back at me like I wasn't the same person he knew.

Like I wasn't Semeeha.

"Wow," He breathed out after he had maintained balance, shaking his head slowly as he looked at me. "I can't believe you right now." He whispered. I said nothing, only looking away from him. There was nothing I could even say.

I knew I wasn't making any sense. Kizito was the most selfless person I knew. We; Hilary, Dawn, and I, always come first in his priorities. He has always had our backs, especially mine even if he probably has no idea how. He has no idea how far his little daily phone calls, just to check up on me, go in keeping me sane for an entire day.

Now, it was my turn to be happy for him and I wasn't. But how can I be happy when the girl he chose is Gigi Esho? It would have been better if she wasn't the one. It would have been easier for me to handle. Kizito can fall for anyone and I'd let my feelings go. I'd accept.

But not Gigi Esho. Anyone but Gigi Esho.

Kizito sighed, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans.

"I'm going to ignore all you just said and take it that you didn't mean them," He began, but I still didn't look at him. He sighed again. "I don't know what Gigi has done to you that you just don't like her. She doesn't even have anything against you as you do of her. Semeeha, It's disturbing."

That statement almost made me scoff out loud, but I held my peace. It didn't make me stop thinking though.

She doesn't have anything against me? If she really doesn't have anything against me like Kizito is saying right now, then why did she treat me like an outcast among my own friends?

Gigi became friends with all of them when she came to Crestview newly, two weeks after I and Dawn had just joined. She spoke to every one of them; Kizito, Hilary, Dawn... even Jidenna. But she never said one word to me. She didn't even look at me, treated me like I was non-existent.

I didn't like her but I didn't hate her either, but I wanted to show her that she was missing out on being my friend, to let her know that I was also worthy of her talking to me, worthy of her attention.

I wanted to have what she had, wanted to command so much attention and respect just by the way I walked - as she did, or the way I talked - like she did... even more than she did.

I wanted to show her that I was also important, even more, important than my friends. Wanted to show her that she was missing out on being my friend. I never went to meet her to make friends. I wanted her to come to me.

And, I kept this up till the beginning of JSS 3, when I had just made my first debut as a model. With all the fame and attention this got me, I expected Gigi Esho to come to me just like everyone else, to famz me. I waited for her to come to me.

But she never did. To Gigi Esho, I literally didn't exist. I was nobody.

I hated her right from that moment.

And I hate her even more now for taking Kizito away from me.

"I'm not going to ask what you have against her because God knows I've been asking that question since JSS 2 and I still haven't gotten an answer from you," Kizito started speaking again after a prolonged silence.

"But things are different now," He continued when he saw that I still wasn't going to speak. "Things have changed tonight for Gigi and me, and with the way, things are going..." He trailed off, but I was able to complete the statement for him.

"You guys are going to be an item," My ability to keep my voice neutral and still hold a stoic expression while saying words like that, words that burnt my tongue as they spilled out baffled me. Those words left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Gigi and Kizito were going to be an item. And I am just going to sit down and watch that happen.

Kizito nodded, oblivious to the battle going on in my mind. "It's very likely." He confirmed and I visibly grimaced. "And the last thing I want is for my best friend and potential girlfriend to have some sort of bad blood between them. I don't want to have to choose between the both of you, Semeeha. I don't want it to ever get to that."

It will definitely come to that, Kizito. It will come to that you'll have to choose. You must choose!

But I didn't say all that out loud. Instead, I just nodded slowly.

"I understand."

I didn't.

His lips stretched in a smile when he heard me say that.

"I'm sorry." I wasn't sorry. "I don't know why I acted like that."

"It's okay," He whispered, bringing both his hands to rest on the sides of my arm.

I tried to ignore the jolt his skin contact with mine sent to my skin, tried to ignore the way goosebumps sprouted on my skin. It was hard to ignore these feelings that sent my heart beating faster than normal, feelings only Kizito made me feel.

I couldn't think straight with the way his hand dragged down my skin till he was holding my hand in his, sending bolts of knee-weakening jolts just by his fingers, or by the way, his intense gaze held mine transfixed.

How can he hold me this way, look at me this way and not expect me to fall head over heels in love with him?

It was impossible.

"Come here," He whispered again, and before I could protest or stop him, knowing that hugging him will just increase my blood pressure alarmingly, he pulled me to himself and hugged me.

I had no choice but to wrap my arms around him. In fact, I melted into his embrace willingly, burying my face in his chest, sighing in complete satisfaction as I inhaled his intoxicating and addictive scent.

"I'm happy for you." I muffled into his chest and Kizito hugged me tighter.

But it was a lie. I wasn't happy and I won't be happy as long as she has him.

And as if that last train of thought wasn't enough to make me sad, my eyes caught the latest post on Gigi's Instagram. She had posted it three hours ago but I was just noticing it. The post made my heart break in a million pieces.

The post was a reminder of what I wanted but might never have.

A picture of her and Kizito.

I clicked on it with the speed of lightning and my heart broke even more.

According to the location, the picture was taken in Greenland Park, Amber Estate. Amber Estate was where Kizito's house was and they had this big amusement park called Greenland. I have always asked Kizito to take me there one day but we have always been postponing due to my busy schedule.

Now he had taken Gigi.

He was carrying her in the picture. His hefty, big self lifting her effortlessly against his body with his hands steadily under her butt, and her around his neck. They were kissing.

And if that didn't irk me enough, I decided to take a look at the caption. My face contorted in the deepest frown ever.

The post wasn't the only thing that shattered my heart. I looked at the comment and felt life being drained out of me gradually. It actually felt like someone's hands were wrapped tightly around my neck and the person was choking the life out of me. That's what the comments were doing to me.

Argh! It made me so angry

And in as much as I tried not to read through, I couldn't stop myself. So I decided to look for one comment, just one comment that would declare how absurd their new relationship was. How it won't last. I just wanted to see one hate comment, just one that would satisfy the burning anger in me even if it was just a little bit.

But I didn't see any. Everyone was hyping them! It was just like Friday night all over again, when the kiss happened. Everyone cheering them on, catcalls and whistles of excitement as they gave the entire class a show! Even Dawn and Hilary couldn't contain their excitement and it annoyed me!

They are even on pet name basis. I thought in utter disgust when the first comment I saw was Kizito's.

He had a lot of replies to his own comment, most from our classmates. They were hyping him, telling how the both of them were made for each other, how they were power couple material.... how Gigi was the perfect fit for their captain.

Why can't I be the perfect fit for him?

I was nothing close to perfect, that's why. If anything, I was the complete opposite of perfect. I was pretty sure in the dictionary, beside the definition of imperfection, would be a little picture of Semeeha Malik.

Dropping my phone, I stood up from the bed and made my way to my closet, where my full mirror was. The mirror has been my companion lately. I can't count the number of times I check myself in a day. Today, this was the fifth time. The mirror was the only honest thing in my life right now.

It was the only thing that showed me, without any remorse, how imperfect I was. It was the one thing I couldn't control... one thing my mother couldn't control.

I couldn't force it to show me the image I wanted to see... the one everyone sees. I couldn't break