(007 - Out of Control).

PLEASE READ.

Hey guys,

So the last update was an emotional rollercoaster. Not just for your guys but also for me. It was after I saw all the comments and reaction on Henry's Death that it actually dawned on me that he is gone, for good... before we actually got to meet him.

And I cried...

I really cried because he was such a sweet person. In just the two scenes we got to see him, we loved him so much. He was such a good person, a perfect son, the best brother, so patient, so loving. He was an amazing human being. He didn't deserve what happened to him. He was still very young, still had his whole life ahead of him. It wasn't supposed to happen to him.

But, please don't hate Hilary. If there is anyone that is more affected by this than everyone of us, it's her. She was in the car when it happened. The guilt and trauma from the events before the accident and the accident itself is enough to scar her for life. The last thing she needs right now is anyone hating on her.

She made a mistake, and she'd probably live the rest of her life regretting the decisions she made that night. She'll eventually heal and will need you guys to keep hyping her on and giving her the encouragement she needs. No Hate Please.

No Hate on Jidenna as well. Don't defend his stupidity and idiocy (because he is actually very stupid), but don't hate him like that. He will grow and learn, eventually. There is a lot of shit going on with that boy. You don't even want to know.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐘
(Hilary Idara Eghosa)

I woke up, feeling the worst kind of headache hitting my skull like a talking drum. Groaning, I turned on the bed and looked at the digital clock on my wall.

𝟼:𝟷𝟻𝚊𝚖
𝚃𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝟷𝟻𝚝𝚑 𝙾𝚏 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛.

School was going to start in an hour and fifteen minutes, but I wasn't ready to go, especially after all the events of yesterday. I just wanted to sleep in, bury myself under my duvet but I knew that wouldn't be possible. My parents won't let me sleep in, not after the revelation of yesterday.

They haven't spoken to me since last night.

After dropping that kind of blow on them, Dad was utterly speechless. He just sat down on my bed, staring at me with a sort of expression that made it seem like he was just seeing me for the first time, that I was a stranger to him. Mum on the other hand was on the floor, sobbing quietly. I didn't even have the mind to look at them, kneeling on the cold floor and muttering words of apology.

I knew they were disappointed but I wasn't sure if it was because of the part I played in Henry's death or the fact that it took me almost an entire month to tell them the truth. I didn't know.

They didn't say anything to me. Mum stood up from the floor after what seemed like days of crying and walked out of my room, I didn't have it in my mind to call after her. Dad sat on that same spot, immobile for a long time. Then, he drawled out a long exasperated sigh, stood up, muttered a soft good night before exiting my room.

It would have been better if they spoke if they said something. But they didn't, and it scared me. It terrified me.

I had cried for a very long time, falling asleep immediately after at the rather early hours of 7:30 pm. And I didn't wake up till now. The after-effects of all the events of the previous day on me made me feel even worse. I got heartbroken, and I also broke my parents' hearts.

That was such an Irony.

I wasn't sure how I was going to survive school today, or survive being in the same class with Jidenna but I still had to go to school. It will pass, eventually because things could honestly not get more worst than this.

Getting down from my bed, I winced as every bone in my body seemed to hurt. I went to stand in front of my mirror, noticing for the first time since I woke up that I was in my nightwear, my uniform neatly folded on my chair. Knowing that I didn't change out of my uniform before I slept, I figured it was mum that changed me. How I didn't wake up throughout the time she was changing me showed how exhausted I had been.

Oh, mum...

I got out of my wear, standing naked in front of my mirror. Turning around, I kept my eyes on the mirror, my eyes zeroing on the scar on my shoulder blade. That was all I got from the accident, but Henry got death. Something crueler, something he didn't deserve. Henry didn't deserve to die.

It would have been better if it was m... My thoughts trailed off before I could finish forming them and I sighed. Let me just get ready for school and try... try at least to get through today.

I took my bath, taking my time since I still had enough time to get ready. When I was done bathing, dressing up wasn't an issue because I just repeated my uniform of the previous day. I tightened my buns, didn't bother laying any edges. Overall, I wasn't in the mood to go extra today.

I descended the stairs, suddenly aware that the house was dead. I couldn't hear my parents conversing like they did every morning, neither were they walking around the house. The living room was bright with light but everywhere just seemed gloomy, lifeless and my heart clenched in my chest.

What have I done...

I took a turn into the kitchen, stopping short when I saw my mum seated by the counter, sipping a cup of coffee loudly while flipping through a big book. The family album. I didn't need anyone to tell me that she was looking at pictures of Henry. I swallowed. That alone was nerve-racking.

I nervously joined my hands together, playing with my fingers.

"Err...rr," I began to stutters. Mum's fingers stopped skimming through the pages of the album before turning her gaze to me. She looked at me like she was just noticing my presence for the first time. Her gaze was intense, yet lethargic.

She looked like a shadow of herself. Eye bags that gave away that she didn't sleep last night, a swollen face from too much crying. All in all, she looked like she used to look at about the first two weeks after Henry's death and burial.

"Good morning mum," I muttered, my gaze still trained on my fingers. I didn't get any response from her, but I could feel her eyes on me. I glanced up, meeting her eyes for a nanosecond before I looked away again.

The silence was aggravating.

"Your Dad traveled to Abeokuta for an impromptu business meeting," Her voice was hoarse, grouchy and what she said made me finally look up at her. I wasn't sure if Dad traveling was legit or it was just a means to get away from here but I still nodded, wondering why she was telling me.

"And I can't take you to school today," she continued, looking away from me to the album, and my lips formed in an O shape as realization dawned on me.

My parents didn't want to be around me.

I felt my throat clog immediately I realized that, but I cleared it, telling myself that I wouldn't cry. Not when I deserve whatever treatment they hurled at me. I'll take it. I deserved it.

"So, I called Tunde to drop you off in school. He's already waiting outside for you. He'll take you and bring you back." Her tone was in finality, to show that she wasn't saying anything else after that... that she wasn't talking to me after that. I swallowed all the emotions welling up inside of me and nodded again.

"Yes, ma." That was all I could say and she went back to skimming through the photo album. I decided to wait a bit, just in case she would thaw, stand up from that seat and hug me like she always did every single morning.

But, she didn't stand up.

She knew I was still standing there but she didn't stand up, her fingers did not stop skimming through the pages of the album. She was even looking at the pictures from the very beginning now, starting all over again and it made me wonder how many times she has looked at the pictures in the album this morning.

My heart broke.

Giving up, I turned on my heels and walked out of the kitchen before walking out of the house. Truly, Tunde, one of our drivers was waiting outside for me. When he saw me, he flashed me a small smile which I didn't return. After opening the door for me, I entered and settled in before he went around to the driver's side. In a matter of seconds, we were out of the house and into the road.

I sighed, threw my head over the headrest, and allowed my mind to wander back to the events of this morning.

My Dad traveled without saying goodbye for the first time. No matter how impromptu the business trip is, Dad will always make sure I see him before he leaves. Leaving without saying goodbye was proof that he just used the business trip as an excuse to get away from me.

And mum?

She just turned it off. That's all I could use to describe what I saw this morning. She turned off. She even seemed worse than she did when Henry passed. And it was all my fault

You broke your parents, Hilary. Are you happy now? A hoarse voice mocked in my head and I felt a wet drop on my hand. I had started crying and I didn't even know.

This was all my fault.

If only I had told them earlier...

If only I had told them the truth...

"We are here ma'am." Tunde's voice jerked me out of my hazy thoughts and I looked out of the window to see that we had gotten to Crestview International Academy and as usual, the parking lot was pretty much jam-packed with the cars of both parents and school staff.

I didn't want to go in there.

But I had to.

"Thank you, Tunde," I muttered and he smiled at me again. His smile had a mixture of pity and reassurance in them and it boosted my morale, just a bit. A tiny little bit. I mustered a small smile back before I got down from the car and made my way to the school compound. There was still some time before assembly starts.

Then it dawned on me for the first time since it happened yesterday that I had broken up with Jidenna. Meaning, it was only a matter of time before my entire set mate found out. But I didn't care, couples break up every time so it wasn't anything new.

Good riddance.

Let me just bury my head in my prefectship duties today and pretend like everything is fine.

I didn't even see them coming, but I felt the impact when they collided against me, almost tipping me over. Dawn and Semeeha were right beside me and I had no idea where they came from.

"Do you guys want to fall me down?" I teased, smiling at them. They didn't smile back and that had my smile faltering a bit. They just held onto my hand and began to lead me slowly into the school area without uttering any word.

Okay?

"Guys..." I called to them, allowing the both of them to lead me into the building, watching as the expression on their faces hardened even more. It sorta scared me.

"What's going on?" I asked them. They both stopped abruptly as they had planned it. I didn't miss the look they exchanged before they looked at me and it made me even more scared than curious. I didn't need anyone to tell me that something was wrong. Like, wrong.

"Hilary, whatever happens, just know we are here with you all the way," Dawn said calmly, but nothing about what she just said made me feel calm. I began to feel on edge.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, my confusion very much evident. They exchanged another look and I felt somehow because they knew something I didn't. Semeeha sighed, mustering a small, rather reassuring smile.

"Let's go." That was all she said and again, they began to lead me into the building and up the stairs that led to our block. I didn't know the reason for all of this, but I tried to brace myself as much as possible.

I didn't brace myself well enough for what I met afterward.

The glares, the stares filled with disdain, the dirty looks, the scowls. I wasn't ready for any of that and immediately I got to the hallway, those were the only looks that my set mates seemed to shoot at me. They were staring literal daggers at me, making me shudder in fear.

I was mortified, all my senses were heightened, and no- not in a good way. The last time someone got this look in SS2, that particular day was very horrifying for the person. I didn't know why they were looking at me that way but I was sure, from the way Dawn and Semeeha kept leading me through the hallway slowly, they knew what was going on.

"Why is everyone looking at me like that?" I asked, my voice coming out in whispers. Dawn shot a forlorn look, shaking her head slowly.

"You really don't want to know, trust me." She answered, in the same tone as me. I looked over my shoulder at every one of my set mates in the hallway. They were looking at me and whispering now. They were not even trying to be subtle or discreet about it.

This was about me,

And I needed to know what was going on.

"If whatever is going on is about me, then I need to know," I told them, looking at both my friends. Semeeha sighed, nodding her head.

"Let's get out of here then. We need to go somewhere more private for what we are about to tell you." Semeeha said, Dawn, muttering a sound of agreement.

Together, they led me down the stairs at the other end of the hallway, leading me down a plain that led to the building with empty classes. As we entered one of the classes, my mind kept playing those looks and I knew I wouldn't forget them in a hurry.

I was used to set mates talking behind my back, I was used to the subtle rumors they said about me because they never tried saying anything to my face. The same people that spoke about me behind my back were the same people that would try to famz me. I was used to that.

But this?

The pointing,

The not so subtle whispers,

The bad looks,

I wasn't sure how to handle that.

And the most disheartening part of it all was that I had no idea what all of that was about.

But I was about to find out.

"You might have to sit down for this one," Dawn whispered to me and my frown deepened. This must be very serious. I sat down as she said and the both of them stood in front of me, discorded expressions all over their face.

"You guys will have to tell what's going on sooner or later. But can it be sooner, please? Why was everyone looking at me like that? What's going on?" I fired them with questions that needed immediate answers.

Dawn and Semeeha exchanged another look again, a look that told me they were trying to figure out who would tell me whatever this was. Dawn looked like she'd have a harder time telling with whatever was going on, so by Semeeha's soft sigh, I knew she was the one that would break it to me.

I was sorta glad about that because I knew Dawn would have sugarcoated things so as not to hurt my feelings. Semeeha would be careful with her words, but she would still give me straight. I just needed to know what was going on. ASAP.

"When last did you check your WhatsApp?" That was the first thing she asked me. I wasn't expecting that question but I answered anyway.

"I haven't been online in the last one month. Why?" I asked, looking between both of them when Dawn made a small sound of exclamation and Semeeha heaved deeply.

"She hasn't seen it." Dawn stated and I rolled my eyes.

"Of course I haven't seen anything. If I had seen anything, we won't be having this conversation." I told them. Semeeha wordlessly brought out her iPhone, tapping buttons and swiping through before handing the phone over to me. Confused, I collected it.

"Hilary, I need you to brace yourself for what you are about to see," Semeeha said calmly. I was still very confused, looking from the screen of her phone which showed our class WhatsApp group page then back to her face.

"What is this?" I asked. Dawn sighed, looking like she was trying to gather her thoughts. I didn't miss the trembling of her fingers as she was opened her mouth to speak.

Jesus! How serious is this?

"Some... messages started coming in sometime between last night and this morning." She started, her voice trembling just like her hands were and the fear I was feeling increased a whole notch. "We don't know where they got all the pieces of information they are spreading from, but it's spiraling out of control fast."

God...

"I'm trying to trace the origin, where it started from. The entire background of the rumors started with you and Jidenna's breakup. It would have been easy to salvage that one but, it became more... it got insensitive, brutal." The fact that they both stuttered when speaking, showed that it was hard for them to say, making me realize finally that this, whatever it was, was big.

My fear intensified.

I looked down to Semeeha's phone, the group chat still on. Sliding my finger through the screen, I began to read through the messages and as I kept reading, my anxiety level kept rising.

What is this?

What is all this?

I couldn't read everything, but the few I picked were alone to destabilize me for all eternity.

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟖𝟏𝟓𝟐𝟑𝟏𝟕𝟖𝟗𝟗

Oh my God! I heard Jidenna dumped her!

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟖𝟎𝟕𝟖𝟗𝟕𝟑𝟕𝟔𝟖

Finally! I knew it was only a matter of time before that happened. Hilary doesn't deserve someone as gentle and humble as Jidenna. She's too full of herself, always acting like she has it all.

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟗𝟏𝟐𝟒𝟓𝟖𝟗𝟕𝟔𝟓

Do you guys even know why he broke up with her? You'll just open your mouth Wahh! And be jumping to conclusions.

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟗𝟎𝟓𝟔𝟑𝟕𝟗𝟎𝟏𝟏

I heard she cheated on him sha. That's not a surprise anyways. She's such a whore! I've seen her with so many guys!

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟖𝟏𝟓𝟕𝟑𝟒𝟐𝟐𝟕𝟕

You get! I thought I was the only one that noticed that. I think she secretly has a thing for Kizito. Do you see the way they hug each other every time and are always all over each other! Olosho!

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟖𝟏𝟓𝟓𝟗𝟕𝟖𝟒𝟗𝟒

OMG, she's such a Bitch!

My breath caught in my throat. My friends noticed it.

"Hilary, you don't have to go on..." Dawn started to say but I held a hand up, stopping her from going further while my eyes kept skimming through the messages.

"I can handle this. I can handle this." I kept muttering to myself.

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟖𝟎𝟓𝟕𝟕𝟒𝟓𝟓𝟗𝟑

Guys! I also heard she was the reason her brother died! Can you believe that? She's a witch fam!

+𝟐𝟑𝟒𝟗𝟎𝟕𝟖𝟗𝟗𝟏𝟐𝟑𝟒

Edo Witch!

I was shaken.

My hand flew to my mouth as soon as I saw those two messages, dropping the phone on the table in front of me. Heart beating at a very rapid pace, eyes beginning to water. My chest felt contracted as so many emotions washed over me like a tidal wave.

They brought Henry into this...

They shouldn't have brought Henry into this.

"Hilary..." I didn't even know who called my name, but it was neither Dawn nor Semeeha. I knew that because they just stood aloof, not knowing what to do or say to me.

I looked up to see Kizito by the door.