day 16
8.18 pm
lee haru

crystal snow

the streets are empty tonight
and it's deadly quiet compared to the
bustling city of seoul
which is exactly what i was looking for

jeongguk suddenly stops again
and he bites down on his bottom lip
i toss him a puzzled glance
and he excuses himself to go to the restroom

we find one along the road
and he comes out wearing another sweater

"did you change?"

he shakes his head
"i felt...uncomfortable in the other one"
he says with a gulp

"ahh"
i give him an uncertain nod
and he begins to walk down the path again
while swinging his backpack over his shoulder

i jog up to him
shouting a "wait up"
and he starts coughing vigorously

"hey are you okay?"

he tosses a hand over his mouth
and i quickly dig into my bag to take out a
mini handkerchief i had with me
"here"

he stares at the handkerchief for awhile
before taking it and putting it to his mouth

"do you want some water?
how are you feeling?"

jeongguk shakes his head quickly
"i'm fine, it's just a cough"

despite his attempt at reassurance
the constant hard coughing has me worried sick
he can't be sick now
not when we're supposed
to be going to busan together

when i hear his coughing worsen
i take his arm and stop him
"let's stop somewhere
get some rest for tonight"

"n-no, i'm okay really
the snow is going to fall soon
we have to be outside to see it"

"ahh"
i rub my forehead as i contemplate our choices
i should've known that jeongguk is stubborn
at this point he's really going to get ill

"and it's on your list
we can't miss the first snow"

"jeon jeongguk
you matter more than my stupid list
and i can't have you getting sick
while we're travelling"
i sigh loudly

he coughs again
and pushes the handkerchief against his mouth
once he pulls away, i take his arm

"let's please just stop somewhere"

he clenches the handkerchief in his palm
and i narrow my eyebrows at him
as he shuts his eyes for a moment and opens them

"let's keep walking" he says
as he begins to slightly
roll up the sleeves of his sweater
and even under the dim streetlights
i can make out that familiar wound on his arm;
the one that he got from saving me
when he pushed me away from that oncoming car
on the first night that we met

except that
minor scrapes like that are supposed
to be fully healed by now
but the wound on his arm is red and swollen
looking like a fresh cut that he
had only gotten yesterday

and it looks much bigger than the initial size
i remember it well because i was the one
who treated it

i grip his arm tightly
tilting my head to get a better look
but his eyes widen immediately
and he struggles to pull away

"that wound, it's been two weeks
why isn't it healed yet?"

before i can look any longer
he pulls down his sleeve
i furrow my eyebrows at him questioningly
"jeongguk—"

"it's normal for me, my wounds usually
take longer to heal than others"
he says briefly
but he doesn't even look into my eyes

even while we were in the woods together
i've never really seen jeongguk without a hoodie
it's like a second skin to him

"but does it hurt though. . ."

"i told you pinky
i'm perfectly fine"
he gets thrown into a coughing fit again

"jeongguk" i say firmly
and he looks taken aback by
the foreign tone in my voice
"tiny scrapes don't get worse over time"

"it. . . runs in my family?
or it could be an infection?"
he knows he's screwed up when he sees
the incredulous look all over my face
"i-i mean genetics
can we just let this go already?"

"not until we get that treated
jeongguk i'm worried about you
it doesn't look like a simple infection"

"it doesn't hurt"

"but still—"
i pause when something cold touches my neck

instinctively i feel for it
and jeongguk tilts my head back by the chin

then i see it
snow, fresh falling snow

we both stand here
with our voices hushed
the snow instantly calming the spiral of thoughts
that's been making a mess in my head

we watch the flakes
dark and light
falling obliquely around us
like diamonds raining from the sky

i glance at jeongguk
to see if he's just as fascinated as i am

he has his eyes closed
head tilt back
a beautiful smile on his face

"they say that true love blooms
between people who watch the
first snow together" he says
silvery mist coming out of his lips

i return the smile he gives me
i feel like i can fly
"well then i guess i must be lucky"